Hi guys! Some of you might know me from my Jaime fic, Burning Bright, which I admittedly had taken a small hiatus from but am now back to. But this story has been itching to get out for months -so I decided to start writing it...who knows...maybe I can juggle them.

Just to give you guys some background, this story is basically an AU from where it begins. Talla Tarly is only mentioned in the books once so we know she exists but nothing beyond that and it always interested me to play around with a character like that who could have been raised in the same home (and by the same parents) as Samwell.

I hope you all enjoy!

Samwell

It was only the crack of dawn, but how strange it felt to him. The sky had not changed, it was the exact same sky that had stretched above him when he had left Horn Hill, arguably his home, under. Like the coward you are, he could almost hear his father spit, but Sam now knew for himself that if not wanting to watch as he broke his mother's heart as she stood helpless was being a coward -then he would gladly wear the title.

So much had changed since he had left home. Most notably being the realisation that this place had never truly been home, not to him. No, now the trembling boy he had been was only a slightly shaky man -with a child names after him in his arms and a girl as pretty as daisies sitting next to him.

"How are you so sure she'll take us in?" She asked him right then, just minutes away from entering a place he had promised to never return to.

"She's my mother. She'll want to." He tried to explain.

"Well, I wouldn't know 'bout that would I?" He heard her mutter under her breath.

He understood that it was hard for her to fathom why a home that had shunned him would receive whatever he had to give to them well -if Sam was being honest he could not really understand it all that well either, but he knew his mother. Despite who she had married Sam knew her eyes -and they were the kindest he'd ever seen. They were Talla's eyes, and Dickon's too -no matter how well he could fight, Sam always knew deep down there was something gentle in him. His other sisters -Tara and Rylene, were good enough he supposed -but they were his father's daughters through and through.

Before passing the gates, he thought back on everything he experienced before he had left through them that first time. It was a strange thing to him to realise that him and his other siblings -with the exception of Dickon, had suffered the same treatment most all their lives but have arguably come out as different people. The same water that softens the potato hardens the egg -or something like that, he recalled Maester Aemon had said once. Tara and Rylene had, under their father's scrutiny, been bitter as Sam recalled. And Talla had become somewhat obedient, but he wondered whether any of that had changed. I suppose now's as good a time as any to find out. He thought to himself as they finally entered Horn Hill.

Chickens and roosters fluttered their wings about in a hazy sunlit dream of feathers around the courtyard and the great fortress Samwell Tarly was born to hovered over him half asleep, still.

For a great house of the showy Reach Horn Hill had always been a more humble home than most -even Sam had to say so. It was true his father had always preferred efficiency over appearances and its evidence stood glaringly in the running and maintenance of what he was once thought of as his home. Hidden deep in the cover of surrounding hunting grounds and forests, Horn Hill stood firmly in the centre with a glaze of green moss and a cold heart at its centre. The terror of his youth shook through him harshly, and Sam wondered not for the first time whether this was all a big mistake.

Before he had the chance to reconsider he noticed the sharp brow on one of the roaming house servants contort, and suddenly they rose in recognition as they made the connection between the strange lord gone and the new black brother standing before them. It did not take them long to run inside to undoubtedly inform the Lady of the house. For a moment Samwell's heart rang in his ears and his blood pumped with the resounding voice of his father warning him to never return.

"Should we go in?" He heard Gilly ask in a whisper, still careful not to rouse the solemnly sleepy morning air.

"We'll find out soon enough" He answered without looking at her as he stood there, his feet firmly planted into the ground he had tasted in his youth. In those short seconds before he was confronted with the finality of his decision he could feel abandoned roots in the ground reach out to plant him in further. Roots that had, essentially like him, been cut down before their time and been left to fend for themselves. Was that really how he thought of himself, still? He was strong now, as were the roots holding him in place -stopping him from running right back into that same screechy carriage that had dropped them off and return to hide somewhere -anywhere.

The few minutes that passed seemed like hours before a figure he knew all too well stood at the humble doorway of the formidable fort. He found his memory searching desperately for a comparison from his memory, but he could not command a clear enough image and for the first time in a long time, Samwell felt shame in forgetting. How much have I forgotten, mother?

There she stood, the woman that had been kind when everything else was cruel. The woman who had loved him as closely as he could ever be loved, or as closely as she would have been allowed to love him. Her small eyes wrinkled at the edges and her thin mouth that usually wore a look of warmth stood agape. It seemed like the words were stuck in her chest, if there were any words at all.

The reality hit him all at once. Here he was, standing in front of his own mother with a woman and a baby behind him, what in the world could he say to explain any of this?

"Sam" the words were finally spoken, but they did not leave his mother. No, it came from behind him, a voice he recognised that had been full of pears and applesauce and stuffed toys and big eyes -it was Talla.

He turned to face her, since her voice had come from behind him, and found a woman grown -far different than the awkwardly put together girl he had left, or maybe his expectations at the Wall had been severely lowered.

Her eyes were wide and brown, just as he remembered. Her hair dark like his, just as he remembered, and tied back, just as he was forgetting. But her cheeks were not as full, her jaw a little slack and her frame far more womanly than he had anticipated. His thoughts scrambled and he wondered if now was a good time to ask why she was not married yet. Don't be stupid Samwell.

But stupid was all he could be as he stood dangerously in the line of vision of the two women from his past that cared for him. His mother had still not moved from her place, her eyes circling to and from Sam to Talla, Sam to Talla. He noticed the dark stained line at the bottom of Talla's dress, she's been out walking. He thought to himself, she never liked to walk before. And his mind spiralled for the millionth time that morning at what had changed in the never changing fortress.

"Sam." Talla repeated, this time more sure and with a resonance in her voice he hadn't recognised before. And just like that, she ran to him, so freely, so unlike her former self that Sam had known, and she jumped into his arms somehow knowing he'd catch her.

He could feel her bones through their clothes, he could feel her sharp intakes of breath and the wet hot tears that were now staining his neck.

"I've missed you so much, brother"

And he hugged her back, for the first time in his life. And without another moment passing he felt another pair of arms surrounding him, and he realised he was standing in his old yard held by his mother and sister. Who'd have ever guessed?

...

He stood, almost breathless, at the small terrace overlooking the farm fields -his mother's favourite place. And now he was deigned worthy enough to have his breakfast there with them -and Gilly of course.

It was all so fast, it was all so surreal. They had practically doted on him in the short minutes they had in the yard before turning their attention to Gilly and the babe.

"What's his name?" Talla had asked.

"Sam" Gilly all but stuttered.

"Well, why don't you and Sam -and Sam, come inside then and we can have some treats?" Her voice, still gravelly and kind, did nothing to hide her suspicions. He wondered whether he'd lie to her or not. Should he?

He was of course, grateful that she had not asked.

"So, big brother, tell me what i've missed."

Talla

She could not believe it. She could almost mistrust her eyes. Was she still dreaming? Had her walk left her in a hallucinatory haze?

Talla and her mother exchanged a number of suspicious glances as they had led the displaced trio through to the terrace and to their dusted seats -it had been long since her mother had had such company. But even the hesitant smiles that graced their faces and newfound warmness in Samwell's cheeks could not make the most prominent thought ringing through her to dull down.

Had Samwell deserted the Wall? She thought to herself with unknown urgency. Had he gotten a girl withchild and deserted out of fear? She would have been strongly inclined to think so, knowing her brother, but the man that sat next to her and the man she had held were a far cry from the boy she had never said goodbye to. This man did not look like a man that would run away.

Talla recalled the first days after Samwell had left -how she had paced about thinking that he had run away or gotten lost in the hunting grounds before her father had monotonously told her that he had gone to the Wall, how Dickon had had to walk her back to her chambers every night because she'd walk to Sam's and wonder when he'd return, how Tara and Rylene had made jokes about him at the Wall like he had never been here -like he was never theirs. It was not often that she thought of him nowadays, though her thoughts did wonder at times to how his life compared to hers. Would he want to be me? She would ask herself, would he trade the wall for whatever it is I have here? Not like she had much. And from the way that Samwell affectionately looked over Gilly after every movement, she began to suspect that Samwell might well have more than she did.

"Mother," it's happening. Her heart banged inside her and she began overthinking like she usually did.

Oh Gods, he's deserted them. He's running away. They're probably looking for him now. They'll hurt him! They'll kill him! Must they, though? He's not up North, maybe they'll be more lenient to him down here. Father could talk to Mace Tyrell about it. Oh Gods, what about Father? If the Watch don't get him I doubt Father would be any better. We could always lie. Yes, we won't let him know he's here. He could live in the cottage and Father wouldn't even have to know. But...what if they search the ground for him? They'll find him, he'll never get away in time. And what would they do to us for helping? Dear Mother, I pray to you to protect ou-

"I've been sent by the Wall to train for my Maester's chain at the Citadel."

They were both stunned with silence.

"Oh. Oh Dear, that's...lovely, Samwell." She could tell the smile her mother plastered on was not entirely genuine, but it was a relief to know that they would not all be hunted by the Night's Watch until Sam was executed for deserting -so there was that.

"I just thought that..." he continued, "I just ...thought that umm.."

Is he sweating? She thought to herself. Oh Sam, oh Sam.

"I just thought that since i'm on my way down I could...you know, Gilly and baby Sam don't really have any place to go and she's not ...safe at the Wall...and I would just...I just thought that perhaps...maybe ...it would be alright.. for her to maybe ...stay here?" Talla was finally piecing together the meaning of impromptu visit through her brother's stuttering -he needed a place for Gilly. She looked to her mother then, desperate to know where she stood. Do we? Have a place for Gilly?

"Well, Dear-" her mother started again before her long disappeared brother interrupted.

"It's my baby." He said quickly. She should believe him. She knew she should. But she could not imagine Samwell doing... that. She could barely imagine anyone doing ...that, not to mention her bashful older brother who could not even look a woman in the eye. But then again, she interrupted herself, it was been a while.

She giggled, much to her horror. Her laughter quickly bubbled through the room and between hiccuping laughs she hoped, she hoped, that Sam would not be offended by it. She would think he'd have a hard time being offended when Gilly and her mother joined into the laughter and soon erupted from barely withheld giggles to full-blown cries of enjoyment as the object of their humour looked on in mortification.

Their session of laughter was rudely interrupted by a scurrying porter, running wide eyed into the room holding what looked like a hastily sealed letter.

"For the Brother in Black, " He said, his eyes still wide and somehow afraid. "From the Wall."

They all stopped breathing for a moment as Samwell clumsily tore open the letter and they watched as his face morphed from alarming worry to horror as he read through it.

They anticipated an explanation but nothing came. Talla waited for his hand to go limp with the letter, for him to look up, or at least look at Gilly -but he didn't. He shot up out of his chair and made to run out to the hall.

It was not hard for Talla to catch up with him -but he still did not stop. She reached over desperately and grabbed at the shaggy black cloth attached to his shoulder and frantically pulled him to a stop.

"Sam, what's happened?" She failed at not letting the fear show in her voice.

"It...it says," He swallowed something down trying to get the words out.

"What does it say?" She heard Gilly ask from behind her, but her eyes never left Sam as they searched for something steady to hold onto.

"It says Jon's dead. But it can't be true. It can't be." Her hand loosened its grip on him and he gently fell back. Talla didn't need to know who Jon was to know that he was important to her brother.

He turned once more, continuing his way forward like he had never stopped while she heard him mutter to himself like a mad man,

"I'm going back. I have to go back."

.

I hope you guys enjoyed this! Please tell me your thoughts!

Until next time.