Notes: Not sure when this takes place really? If I had to guess, I'd say after the second trial but idk for sure. Definitely before Hinata's talent becomes known, though. Let's see which characters show up and go from there, I guess?
What I'm trying to do is 1) look at how Hinata and Komaeda's relationship might have progressed if there was more time between murders or if the murders stopped completely. Hinata's constantly trying to understand him throughout the game but each murder pulls them further and further apart...This is to look at what would happen if they had more time to learn about each other. And 2) really study how Hinata feels about Komaeda after his instabilities are revealed. It's clear to me that despite Komaeda being off his rocker, Hinata still wants to be around him. I'm drawing conclusions based on Komaeda's actions in island mode. I want Hinata to know about his good luck bad luck cycle, but I'm not sure how much of Komaeda's illnesses are known to Hinata here.
I also want to take a look at the rest of the kids. From the beginning, they were willing to stick together against Monokuma. In a time where they've mostly agreed to do the same, Komaeda is the biggest threat.
–
Hinata walks into the restaurant and the gentle murmur of voices stutters, stops. He looks up, scanning the faces in the room. Most are looking away from him, tight eyes focused on the floor and the walls. Souda looks terrified – not that that's unusual. He looks about ready to bolt at any instant.
He hesitates at the steps, hunching his shoulders. He – he doesn't really need to eat right now, does he? He can come back later. He's just about made up his mind to leave, his feet shuffling awkwardly on the steps, his fingers gripping the banister, when Nanami glances up and makes eye contact. She looks at him unblinkingly. It's the same slightly bored, half-asleep gaze she's always had with him and he lets out a relieved breath before he can think about it.
Feeling cautious, he walks over to her table. It's at the back of the room, of course, because that's how life works. No one makes eye contact with him as he walks by, but he feels stares prickling the back of his neck. They're staring at him behind his back, he fucking knows it. He glances behind him just in time to watch Saionji's eyes slide away. Fuck, even she's afraid to say anything to him, and she never knows how to hold her tongue.
He makes it to the far table and sits gingerly. Nanami gives him a guileless smile and goes back to her game as though nothing had happened.
Clicking heels approach. "Hinata-san," Sonia says sharply and Hinata starts. He hadn't noticed her at all before then but she watches him patiently.
"Yes?" he ventures after a long silence.
"May I sit?" she asks, and there is so much authority in her voice that he finds himself pulling out a chair for her. She gracefully sits and fixes her skirt. Behind her, Hinata sees Souda gaping, horror written on his face. Tanaka too is watching the proceedings with an interested eye.
"How are you, Hinata-san?" Sonia asks. Her voice is a perfectly normal volume, but with the exception of Akane eating with less enthusiasm than usual, the room is silent. Her voice carries like a bell.
"I'm –" He pauses, slides a hand down his face tiredly. "God, I'm fine? I guess. Fuck."
She doesn't berate him for his crude language, nor his less than clear answer. She nods like what he's said makes perfect sense. "And how is Komaeda-san?"
"He's fine," Hinata answers slowly, suspiciously.
"Will he be joining us for breakfast?"
The room feels like it takes a collective breath. Akane shovels food in faster, eating like she's nervous. Nidai lays a hand on her back.
"Um," Hinata says. "Probably not? He was still sleeping when I left. I mean, I think he's asleep." He knows, he knows, that they all know that Komaeda spends his nights in Hinata's room. That's what this is all about, he thinks bitterly. But it's still a reflex to try to cover it up.
"Probably not?" Sonia repeats, sounding properly appalled. "But that won't do! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day! Go retrieve him immediately." She points a finger at him and Hinata gulps, warning with his unease at the prospect of disobeying her versus the prospect of bringing Komaeda here, now.
"Are you kidding?" Saionji mutters under her breath but when Sonia turns her head just slightly to look at her, she's studiously looking at the table, drawing angry whorls into the wood with her finger.
"That's probably not a good idea," Hinata tries to temper. "He's really grumpy when he wakes up in the mornings."
Sonia draws in a fast breath, drawing her bottom lip into her mouth. She's afraid too, Hinata realizes suddenly, despite her walking over here and making conversation of her own accord. All it took was implying that Komaeda might be upset to reveal it. Of course, he thinks. They're afraid of Komaeda when he's what passes for his normal. Of course they'd be afraid of him upset.
Hastily, he tries to correct it. "I mean, he likes to sleep in. Plus, he didn't get much sleep last night." Sonia's expression changes subtly, but he doesn't get it until Nanami coughs slightly. Despite the tenseness of the situation, he flushes. "I mean, he doesn't get much sleep most nights! I mean – fuck, I think he's got insomnia, okay? He doesn't sleep often."
"Aw, does being evil keep him up at night?" It's Souda who speaks. It's plain from both his face and his tone that he's still terrified, but Souda is the master of false bravado. Anything to impress Sonia.
Sonia frowns, beginning to speak but Hinata cuts her off angrily. "He's not evil, damnit. He's fucked up, alright? I admit it. But he's not gonna do anything."
"How the fuck can you know that?" Souda asks. His face is pale but he sticks his chin out determinedly.
Hinata thinks about the Komaeda that knocks on the door to his cabin each night, his shoulders drooped like he already expects Hinata won't let him in. He thinks about the sincere little smile when Hinata steps back to let him in without a word. He thinks about the openness of his expression when Hinata looks at him, the grin he feels pressing into his mouth when they kiss. He thinks about the glaze over his eyes, cheeks red, hair akimbo when they fuck; the way he talks unassumingly about the previous day and what they'll do the next. He thinks about the genuine happiness he can hear in Komaeda's voice when he discusses everyone on the island; the bright madness in his eyes he sees when Komaeda wakes him up in the middle of the night, murmuring about hope and overcoming despair.
All Komaeda wants is for everyone to be happy, Hinata thinks. All he wants is for everyone to succeed. He has the wrong ideas about going about it, god, he'd never deny that. But why can't they see that he's good? Komaeda is good, wants to be good so bad.
"He's trying," Hinata says finally. "He helped at the last trial, didn't he?"
"You call that helping?" Souda bursts out. "People died! Are you too busy fucking him to see that he's a psychopath? Could he really be that good in bed?"
Hinata sits back, appalled. He'd known that it's what everyone's been thinking, but to hear it out loud is a different thing altogether. To his face too, not in whispers when they think he's not around to hear it.
"You're being an asshole. Cut it out." Of all people, it's Kuzuryuu who speaks. His voice is even, tired. "What he said helped everyone realize the real killer, that's just a fact." He's not expecting Kuzuryuu to help. He's been so withdrawn lately, and yet here he is defending the person that led to Peko being caught.
"Kazuichi Souda," Sonia declares. "I understand that you are scared, but if we wish to halt these pointless deaths, suspecting each other and talking ill of each other is not the way to go. This island can use some happiness."
Souda stares at her, and then looks around the restaurant. Noticing that he's getting no help, winning no points, he finally lowers his head. "Yeah."
The kicker is, Hinata knows that Souda doesn't mean it. None of them do, not really. It's the fear and suspicion talking, just as Sonia had said. He sighs expressively, pushes back his chair and heads for the kitchen. All eyes snap to him again. Ibuki makes hesitant eye-contact as he passes, but her smile is more of a grimace and she's nervously fingering the long strands of her hair. It's the same when he actually retrieves some food and returns to his seat.
"I thought…" Nanami says and she takes one of her customary lengthy pauses. It's long enough that Hinata thinks she really won't continue this time. "I thought you didn't like coffee."
Hinata glances at the coffee he'd grabbed in a helpful takeout cup. "I don't. It's for him," he admits reluctantly. There is no question of who 'him' refers to. "He's really worthless if he doesn't have coffee in the morning."
Nanami, bless her, doesn't stiffen. She takes a long, slow blink to process that. "I thought we all had instant coffee in our rooms?" she says with her usual hesitation.
"Yeah," Hinata says and chuckles. "But he won't have it. He's such a drama queen, you know? Says it's gross and refuses to touch it even if he has a headache from withdrawal."
"But of course!" Sonia says. "In Novoselic, we serve only the most delightful of coffee blends, grown specifically for our country in exchange for our lovely truffles."
And slowly, surely, the conversation begins to pick up around them again. He hears Akane burp loudly and challenge Nidai to a fight and he laughs as he agrees. Saionji and Ibuki and Mikan begin talking, Mikan near tears as Saionji berates her. Souda seems embarrassed still, but Kuzuryuu is talking to him quietly and he's nodding along.
Hinata smiles, wearied, and eats quickly. "I'm gonna go," he says to the two girls at his table. "Take this to him before it gets too cold, you know?"
They nod, despite all three of them knowing each cabin has a microwave. "I'll walk to the arcade with you," Nanami decides. Sonia stands too, but she only goes as far as Tanaka's table. He draws out a chair for her, his hamsters scampering out from his sleeves. She takes one of them into her hands and smiles gently.
Suddenly, her comments about finding happiness seem a lot more personal. Souda's temper seems a lot more understandable, too. He wonders idly how long this has been building.
When he leaves the hotel, the sun is approaching its meridian. The island is hot, will only get hotter, and humid. His cotton shirt is already beginning to stick to his skin. He walks slowly to his cabin. He peeks at Komaeda sleeping on his bed. The window is mostly open, and he's got a hand thrown over his eyes to block the sun, his wrists bony and delicate. His hair is strewn across the pillow without a care and his lips are chapped. Despite the heat, the rest of his body is under a thin sheet. Hinata's mind easily fills in the rest of the blanks, picturing his shoulders and small waist and skinny legs. Komaeda throws his head to the other side, like he's waking up, like he knows he's being watched.
Hinata goes for the shower.
When he returns, Komaeda is sitting up in bed. The sheet pools around his waist, showing hints of his naked hips and thigh. He's cradling the cup Hinata had helpfully left at the bedside table for him, pulling long swallows. His head is tipped all the way back, clearly draining the dregs of the coffee, and his long throat bobs with each gulp.
Hinata doesn't bother to find clothes or even properly dry before he sits on the bed next to Komaeda. He sets his hand above the sheet on his thigh. Komaeda smiles and sets the empty cup down.
"Good morning, Hinata-kun," he says.
"Just barely morning now," Hinata snorts and Komaeda smiles serenely.
"Thank you for the coffee. To do that for someone like me – you're so selfless, Hinata-kun!" He looks so genuinely pleased. It's so easy to make him happy, so ridiculously easy.
"It was nothing," he said, rubbing his neck. Komaeda smiles wider and stretches, preparing to get out of bed at last. Hinata watches him, helpless not to. He watches as Komaeda raises both hands over his head, hooking them loosely together. His back arches prettily as he breathes deep, his head tilting from side to side, hips thrust upwards. He sees Komaeda's eyes slitted towards him slyly. The bastard knows exactly what he's doing.
Annoyed, he looks away, prepares to finally go find some clothes. Komaeda puts a gentle hand on his shoulder though, and he stays where he's seated. Komaeda holds his eyes as he crawls out from under the sheet at last, revealing inch after inch of his pale skin. Hinata drinks it in.
"Really, thanks for the coffee," Komaeda says again. Using his grip on his shoulder, Komaeda drags him deeper onto the bed. Hinata moves with him obligingly, lifting his legs to sit entirely on the bed, shifting so he's in the center. He moves with the motion when Komaeda presses him down and lies back. He stares at the ceiling, but he can feel Komaeda's skin over his own, his body hot against Hinata's still damp one. He knows it's coming, but when Komaeda fits his mouth over his cock, already half hard just from looking at Komaeda's naked body, he gasps.
He fills up quickly after that, listening to Komaeda's encouraging groans. He knows Komaeda loves this, feeling the weight increase on his tongue, so he shifts without worry, pressing deeper into his mouth while he's still soft enough to not choke him.
Quickly, very quickly, it starts to get too much for him. Komaeda pulls off and licks at the head. He swirls his tongue at the underside and his thumb presses into his slit, over and over. Hinata can't help but moan.
"Fuck, Komaeda," he pants.
Komaeda's hand switches to tugging on his cock, slowly, torturously. His grasp is just this side of too firm but it's exactly how he likes it. His mouth continues to work on his head. He switches between flicking his tongue into the slit, pressing deep, and sucking the whole tip harshly into his mouth. Hinata closes his eyes and moans more. He's so sensitive there that it almost hurts.
He pants, "please, please," and without much regard for his sanity, Komaeda slowly starts to descend. He takes maybe an extra centimeter at a time, hand shifting downwards to make room. He pulls back up often, but the suction of his mouth, the wet heat engulfs him and it's so good.
Komaeda can take him, Hinata knows this, but only if he goes slowly. He opens his eyes, props himself up on unsteady elbows to watch. The hand he's not using on Hinata's dick is propped on the bed for support. He sucks like he's born for it, his chapped lips red, stretched, full. Slowly, slowly, Komaeda descends on him, until the suction is everywhere on him at once and he can't help but make little motions deeper into that heat. Komaeda put his tongue to good work, curling around his dick on each upwards stroke.
Hinata groans and pants as Komaeda pulls all the way off to tongue at his shaft, back to rubbing harshly at his head where he's leaking steadily. The loss of sensation on the rest of his dick is abrupt, but he's so sensitive there that it's all he can do not to drop back onto his back. Komaeda looks up at him wickedly, digging his fingers into the base.
He sits up for a quick second, shaking his head so his white hair falls over one shoulder. His dick is hard and red, full and leaking. Hinata itches to grab it, to taste it, but before he can Komaeda leans back down and his mouth is back and the suddenness of it makes him gasp loudly. "Komaeda –"
The hand not occupied with stroking him goes around to his backside. With his face buried in Hinata's crotch, it leaves his legs spread and his ass up. Komaeda's unashamed as he shoves his fingers inside himself. It has to be dry, but Hinata knows he likes it a little rough, and he's still open and loose from last night and all the nights before. He moans around Hinata's dick and Hinata screws his eyes shut, trying not to come.
He's so hungry for it. Komaeda's a slut for him, it's evident at how happily he slurps at Hinata's dick and rocks back onto his hand and it's so fucking hot. Hinata doesn't know what to do with himself. It feels so fucking good, and his body is drawing tight and his hands ache to touch him. He feels restless with his pleasure, so he buries his hands in Komaeda's thick hair and tugs. Komaeda's a freak and he loves that, so he moans louder, rocking faster, and Hinata curses.
He tugs again, harder, forcing Komaeda off of his dick. Komaeda grasps for it, tongue extending to try to touch him. "Shut up," Hinata hisses, even though Komaeda hasn't done anything but moan pitifully. "Just fucking shut up."
He tugs him roughly until they're face to face. Hinata rolls them over until he's on top, forcing him to stay down with a hand to his neck. Komaeda gasps, eyes growing wide, but Hinata knows he loves this, too. They've got a safe word and everything, even if sometimes Hinata's afraid he can't remember when he's having his episodes. But Komaeda's lucid right now, and pliable in Hinata's hands so he has no second thoughts as he holds him down and forces his mouth open under his own. He licks deep into his mouth, tasting himself on Komaeda's tongue.
He grasps until he finds Komaeda's dick, tugging on it roughly until Komaeda's body jerks under his own with each wild moan. "Shut up," he mutters again and buries his face into Komaeda's neck, sucking at his sharp clavicle and biting at the juncture of his neck. He's rough and Komaeda fucking loves it, getting louder and louder. His legs shift restlessly.
Komaeda's so wet, his dick slippery in Hinata's hands and Hinata feels like he's going mad. He pulls away abruptly and manhandles Komaeda's body once more while he sighs happily. Hinata turns him onto his stomach and pulls him up by the hips, one hand forcing his head into the bed. "Yes, Hinata, yes," Komaeda says, and he brings his hands around to spread his ass for Hinata to see.
He's just so fucking turned on that he can't stand it. Everything this guy does turns him on and he can't stand it. His body feels like he's overheating, his mind spinning and all he can think about is the want burning through him. He slaps at Komaeda's ass and then sucks over the handprint, leaving another deep purple mark to add to the collection of bruises already left behind.
"More, more," Komaeda says, his cock visibly jerking because Komaeda is fucking insane. Hinata's not yet found something that Komaeda doesn't seem to like. He ignores Komaeda's pleas, though, and buries two of his fingers in his ass. Komaeda whines, stretches himself further open so that Hinata can watch his hole suck his fingers in greedily. He's soft inside, hot, tight and he's driving Hinata insane.
He fucks his fingers into Komaeda's hole, stroking at his walls and marveling at the feel of it. He feels it when he finds Komaeda's prostate, but even if he wasn't sure, he can tell by the way Komaeda cries out and pushes into his fingers harder. He adds another finger and fucks into him relentlessly while Komaeda's moans get higher and higher pitched. Then, because he can, he pushes his tongue inside next to his fingers and laps at the opening. Komaeda's hole clenches onto his hand even as his shoulders drop, too exhausted and worked up to hold himself up any more.
"Where's the lube?" he asks, knowing it's somewhere nearby. They never move it completely off the bed for this exact reason. He knows how worked up they can get, and even with Komaeda this loose, he doesn't want to try to fuck him without it.
Komaeda mumbles into the pillow, but he's shivering and shuddering, useless. Hinata pats around the bed until he finds the bottle. It's worryingly low, but they can get more anytime from the market, even if they have to endure the others' judging stares to get it. He flips the cap and drizzles some onto Komaeda's hole, ignoring how he jerks at the cold and smearing some more onto his own dick.
He doesn't give warning when he grasps Komaeda's hips and pushes in and it's rough, just the way Komaeda likes it. Komaeda's moan is too loud to be called anything other than a scream. He can hear the tears in his gasping moans as he pulls out and forces himself back in, grinding his hips to go as deep as he can, but he knows it's not pain. He's just so overwhelmed, so overcome with pleasure that his body doesn't know how else to respond.
"Yeah," Hinata says wildly. "Take it, you're such a slut, you like this." He's only half aware of the words spilling out of his mouth as he gathers Komaeda's hands in one of his and puts them both behind his back, the motion forcing his shoulders tight and pushing his head further down. He's supporting himself entirely on his shoulders, so Hinata uses the other hand to press his hips up. Komaeda won't shut up, his moans and whimpers so loud that they ring in Hinata's ears. His lips move, and Hinata can't quite hear him over the slapping of their bodies and the muffling of the pillow, but he's ninety-nine percent sure it's all nonsense interspersed with yes and please.
He feels his orgasm approaching with the speed of an incoming train. He can't last, he can never last long with Komaeda. Komaeda's just so fucking hot like this, and he's so eager and willing. No matter how used to this Komaeda gets, how loose he is, he's always so tight on the inside. He's too turned on to last too long.
Komaeda, under him, jerks and comes without warning, untouched. For how loud he is during, he's always so silent when he comes – eyes wide, mouth round and open, his whole body red and feverish. His cock jerks and when he's done coming he makes a pained sound and collapses entirely. His body becomes pliable and open and Hinata hitches him up and fucks him harder. Komaeda clenches around him rhythmically in the aftershocks and Hinata works him through it until he's coming too. His hips stutter and he screws his eyes shut, pressing his forehead into Komaeda's back. Komaeda, as tired as he is, moans lowly. He's said over and over that he loves the feel of Hinata coming in him.
Hinata doesn't really remember pulling out nor laying down on his side, but when he focuses he's staring at Komaeda, who's staring at him with a sleepy sort of happiness. The sex is good every single time, but the way Komaeda looks at him after, soft, unsure, is almost better. Probably better.
They lay there for a while, staring at each other and catching their breath until Komaeda hops out of bed and heads for the bathroom. Hinata flushes, knowing that Komaeda's in there taking care of the mess he left behind. Despite his lethargy, he gets up too and gets them both bottles of water. The cabin's mini-fridge seems to restock itself without his input, which Hinata tries not to think too hard about.
He downs about half of his own in one long swig before he slows down and starts taking careful sips. He grimaces at the sweatiness of his skin – he'd just bathed. Komaeda comes back out and Hinata hands him the water. He looks surprised, so grateful as he takes it and drinks. Hinata hates how easy it is to please him.
Somehow, they both end up back in the bed, making out lazily and cuddling. Komaeda's light body is on top of his own, sandwiching him into the bed, grounding him. He lets himself get lost in Komaeda's mouth for a while, his hands tracing through his hair and over his delicate facial structure. Komaeda lets him, pliant the way he always is after an orgasm.
Soon, though he finds himself drifting steadily towards sleep. His grip on Komaeda's body slackens, his lips and tongue slow, his eyelids droop. Komaeda pulls back and kisses his forehead, then both eyelids. "Sleep," he whispers and Hinata nods through his lethargy. Komaeda, having just woken up, isn't tired enough to join his nap. He gets out of the bed again and after a few moments he hears the shower start up before he drifts off entirely.
The thing is, the others on the island aren't freaked out because he and Komaeda are fucking. They've been doing that, more or less, since their second day on the island. It kind of embarrasses Hinata to think about, because for as slutty as Komaeda is, it definitely takes two to tango. He hadn't thought of himself as the kind of person that would jump into bed with a person that fast.
The attraction between them had been immediate from the moment Hinata woke up to find such a pretty boy waiting on him. The tension between them was obvious as well, and everyone knew it. They'd had to endure knowing looks and smirks from day one and when it became blatant that they were in fact sleeping together (in the form of uncovered hickies and someone's consistently empty cabin) it had upgraded to leers.
It wasn't about him and Komaeda fucking. It wasn't about them being two guys or anything. It was about Komaeda being a nutcase who tried to kill them all, and Hinata having sex with him anyway. Hinata staying with him anyway.
When Hinata wakes up, Komaeda's gone. He hasn't been asleep long and there's still the whole day ahead of him, so he showers for the second time and leaves the cabin. He finds Nanami exactly where he left her at the arcade, and for a while he contents himself watching her play over her shoulder.
Some people walk past on their way to the restaurant for lunch, eyeing him uncomfortably. For as much as they don't understand him and Komaeda, they're equally as upset to see them apart. No one else hangs around Komaeda, which means he's alone and able to cause mischief.
Komaeda ambles in some time later, fists jammed into his pockets. He doesn't say anything, just smiles and touches his shoulder as he goes by. He's back soon, though, munching on a couple of pieces of toast. Hinata rarely sees him eat anything of substance. It's probably why he's so skinny.
"Do you want to go somewhere?" Hinata asks. Komaeda, after all this time and all that's occurred between them, still looks surprised.
"Of course, Hinata-kun," he says happily. "Where did you have in mind?"
Hinata considers carefully. Komaeda's always so touchy about what he'll do and when, always jumping to the worst possible conclusion. By now, Hinata knows it's out of worry for him. Komaeda's told him about his good luck almost always meaning bad luck for whoever he's around. He hasn't really seen any evidence of that but it's important to Komaeda that he tries.
"Let's go to the library," he says, and Komaeda nods with his customary smile. Hinata calls a farewell to Nanami. She doesn't respond, but he's not surprised. He's not even totally sure she noticed him join her.
The sun is truly high in the sky now but there's a pleasant breeze coming in from the sea. Komaeda stutters when Hinata takes his hand. He's easily flustered, easily embarrassed by these things. Komaeda can manipulate others as easily as he breathes, can make others do things and think it was their idea all along. But he's never really had a friend, never had whatever this was. He struggles with communicating and the idea that someone else would even want to be around him.
"Ah, Hinata-kun, are you sure?" Komaeda scratches his face with his free hand, looking away. Hinata, annoyed, almost does drop his hand. He hates when Komaeda's like this. Komaeda never looks confused when they're in bed together. Is it really so hard for him to believe that someone might like him outside of there?
Sometimes Hinata isn't sure why he does like Komaeda. He can be so damn irritating.
"Shut up," he says instead, and grips his hand harder. Komaeda's fingers hesitantly curl into his.
When they get to the library, Hinata asks Komaeda to get a book for him, figuring that Komaeda would probably come up with some doomsday scenario where Hinata is crushed beneath falling books if he tries to do it on his own. He comes back with a huge pile for himself and one for Hinata. He spares a glance at the book. It actually looks pretty interesting, but he's more content to watch Komaeda as he sinks into his own selection.
"You're not interested in the books at all, are you?" Komaeda asks.
"Sure I am," he says. "It looks interesting, I'll take it back with me. But it's nice to see you so relaxed for once."
Komaeda scoffs but he looks at Hinata with soft fondness before he returns to the book. "Say, Hinata-kun," he says slowly. "Would you really be okay if this is it? If we're all stuck here?"
Hinata feels the familiar irritation building up. "It's better than going around and killing each other!" he says.
"I wonder...would it really be alright?" Komaeda says. "The people here are the Super High School Levels, after all! How can it be okay to keep this talent away from the rest of the world? To leave it here to be useless and rot?"
Hinata fumes, but he tries to keep his head. It feels like this argument is one they've had dozens of times and it's like talking to a brick wall, but. But each time Komaeda asks, he looks a little more doubtful. Each time he asks, he listens a little more. Each day that passes without a murder, he looks a little more confused. Hinata tries to believe that he wants to be convinced.
"How good could it be if everyone has to die? You're always talking about this ultimate hope, but how can it be worth it if it's at the cost of all of our talented friends? What kind of hope can possibly come from killing?" he asks.
Komaeda sighs. He folds his arms and frowns, but there is something thoughtful in his silence.
At least he hadn't had one of his episodes. It's scary to see his eyes go dark like, to hear him mumbling and laughing about Hope and Despair. His body, normally so cool that he needs a jacket on a sunny island, goes feverish and hot, his pale skin going flushed and red.
He's so attractive like that.
The first night Komaeda had spent in his room after that first trial, Hinata hadn't thought too much of it. It was weird, knowing Komaeda wasn't exactly who he thought he was but the attraction between them was still undeniable. It just made him want to learn more about him.
Komaeda had woken him up in the middle of the night, muttering, crazed. He'd reached for Hinata, held him down, taken what he wanted. Komaeda had prepped himself fast and dirty, grinning as Hinata watched him in amazement. He'd gotten on top, ridden Hinata to within an inch of his life and Hinata had no choice but to hang on and go with it.
It had been amazing. Komaeda was always so passive, so willing to oblige Hinata's desires no matter what they may be. Having him take control for once was so hot and after, he'd settled right down, blinking at him sleepily. Hinata knew Komaeda often stayed up all night, but he'd fallen asleep easily after.
It had happened several more times before Hinata had realized Komaeda didn't remember it afterwards. He'd talked to Komaeda about it as soon as he noticed, wracked with guilt, but Komaeda had only blinked easily at him. "It only makes sense that I'd want you," he'd said. "Of course – if you don't want me, you don't have to. Ah, why would someone like you want this frail body anyway?"
"No, I do," Hinata had answered quickly. He always wanted Komaeda. He was always, always, so ready for him. Everything about him got Hinata hot – his unruly hair, his pale skin, his jutting bones and his flat ass, his sultry voice, his dark mind. That he wanted Komaeda even when he wasn't all there – it disgusted him, made him feel dirty.
"I think it reminds me what's real," Komaeda had said, considering.
It didn't help that much. Sure, he had consent but he was never sure if Komaeda might want to rescind it in the moment. He wished he could control himself, but Komaeda's mouth was sinful, his hands wicked, and Hinata's resolve was weak. He asks each time if Komaeda's sure, desperate, but even his enthusiasm can't reassure him entirely.
It was happening less and less, now. It had been nearly nightly in between the first two murders but now, with nearly two weeks since the last killing, it had been several days. Hinata hated himself for missing it.
"You're thinking deep thoughts, Hinata-kun," Komaeda says lightly.
"We were having a deep conversation," he grumbles, unwilling to admit where his mind had turned. Komaeda always makes fun of him for being concerned about it, like it's not a valid thing to be worried about.
Komaeda gets one of those looks that Hinata can't decipher, affectionate and thoughtful at the same time. "I suppose," he replies and looks back to his book. He can spend hours buried in books without even noticing, but Hinata doesn't mind sitting here with him. Some hours later, when he's close to drifting off again Komaeda stands and stretches. Hinata eyes the sliver of skin that appears between his shirt and his pants.
"You must be hungry," he says.
"Yeah," Hinata admits. Komaeda puts back some of the books and takes a few with him, which Hinata knows will only end up scattered all over his cabin. He takes the one Komaeda had picked out for him as they leave. Their hands are full on the walk back, but they walk close enough to brush shoulders. Komaeda keeps turning to look at him, and Hinata feels his heart stutter every time he sees the happy look in his eyes.
He doesn't understand him at all, but he wants to.
Souda's leaving the hotel when they approach it after dropping off the books. He doesn't meet their eyes, but at the last minute he approaches with all the enthusiasm of someone walking into their graves. "Ibuki wants another party," he says, more to the ground than to either one of them. "Six pm tomorrow on the beach, got it? You better not be late."
And then he hurries away. Hinata gapes after him.
"A beach party! How exciting," Komaeda says. "Ah – you should probably stay away from the water, Hinata-kun. A tidal wave might suddenly come at you, or storm clouds might gather."
"Sure," Hinata says. "Let's go get you some sunscreen."
–
Notes: I'm really out of practice with writing omg, so sorry if this makes no sense! I headcanon so hard that Hinata and Komaeda fucked like. Immediately. Anything I ever write with them will probably have that sorry lol.
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