I live! I kind of always lived, but I'm sure it all looked different to you. Thing is, I have seen quite a few teachers writing fanfics who gave it up upon entering the job, given how it barely leaves you any free time that isn't spent with prep time. And as it is, I had quite a lot of trouble getting back to the story when I really didn't want to see my laptop anymore. But here I am, having passed all my exams, being a full-fledged teacher and yet trying a mad dash to catch up on my stories during summer break.

I honestly can't promise I will be able to return to regular posting schedules, but I will be damned if I let that stop me from finishing this!

Chapter 11 - Visions of Past and Future

Kirei

There was a bed of red and white. It was colder than steel and the snow was falling hard and heavy. A boy was kneeling at her side. A boy in black, with a long face and grey eyes that had seen death.

"It is a young girl!", he called out to his companions.

She didn't see them and she didn't seem to care anyway. The only person with a meaning to her was right on front of her, crouching down and mussing her hair. The way he always used to do it. And yet there was no recognition in his eyes.

How could he? I don't have a face that he knows.

"Jon", her lips formed the words, but her throat was too frozen to make any sound.

"Calm down, everything is going to be okay", his words spoke of hope, but his eyes reflected doom.

He looked down until he noticed the sword in her hand. He had to take that hand itself in order to raise it, her fingers clasped it that tightly. The boy seemed to recognize a certain mark at its pommel and realization dawned upon him when he looked back into her eyes.

"This is... where... who..."

And for the first time he saw her truly. For the first time in years, it seemed. He didn't see her face, but her eyes. Grey like his ones. And everything was visible in his face at once. Disbelieve. Astonishment. Certainty. Bitter sorrow.

"Arya?", he called out.

Tears were running down his face, not over hers. Her tears were frozen for far too long. But that didn't seem to prevent her from smiling. It was happiness that warmed her in her last moments. Happiness that he knew her name.

... and with that, Kirei Kotomine opened his eyes in the darkness of his hotel room, still in a daze about what he saw... and felt.

This dream... her memories... her... emotions.

He touched his cheeks and realized that they were wet. Tears. His heart had already returned to its usual icy state, but he still remembered the burning flame it had been just a moment ago. Kirei was confused. He had those dreams before. Of the girl's life, of many deaths, a trek of horrors and a sinister refuge that ultimately clashed with her true self. It was not that Kirei was left entirely cold from that, but what he felt and thought about it disgusted him and he did his best to push it into the back of his mind.

Now however, this was different. For the first time, their connection ended up overwhelming him with her emotions. If it was because she had been too numb in those earlier dreams or if these very last moments of hers were just so much more vivid, he couldn't tell. But whatever the reasons, for the very first time in his life, for this brief moment, he felt... normal.

Pushing himself up, he looked around in the empty room as if fearing that someone had bewitched him. With the shutters closed there was only darkness in the hotel room. There was no other presence except him. Kirei quickly rubbed his cheeks dry and turned in order to bring his senses back to working order.

Arya must still be out there...

Reflexively, Kirei's hand was guided to his bare chest, clutching at his heart. It felt cold, unchanged. It already seemed like what he had felt was just a figment of his imagination. Despite everything, he sighed and decided to put it aside for the moment.

She died this young... in the arms of this boy...

He was part of her family, that much he had been able to gather from his previous dreams. Not that it mattered much. He lived in a far away world that was only brought into Kirei's life thanks to a malfunctioning Grail.

"Mmmh...", just as he was musing about the implications, he felt the presence of their connection returning.

The girl materialized in the middle of the room, staring at him after giving a quick frown about his exposed chest. Kirei met her eyes with a stare of his own, trying to assess whether she brought promising news or not. The fact that she kept her features under a tight leash was not very encouraging.

"I take it you were not able to track down Berserker's Master?", he asked, concealing his own confusion for the moment.

"Actually I was. Unfortunately I wasn't the first one..."

"What do you mean by that?"

If someone had taken Matou out of the picture, they must have gotten control over Berserker…

"The Red Woman. She had reached him first. I couldn't possibly end him without drawing her ire… and targeting a red priest is always a tricky business."

"From the way you phrase it… you make it sound less and less that he died this night."

"It looked very much like he was about to. But they struck a deal instead. The Red Woman took his Command Spells and in return healed him… and more."

Something was odd. Her facade slipped a bit and Kirei caught a glimpse upon her true feelings. She seemed troubled for some reason. As if she had seen or heard something she didn't expect. His curiosity about that even overrode his own worry about a Servant being able to acquire control over another Servant.

If it is Caster, the possibility could never be denied though…

"What else happened?", Kirei asked.

"Well… I was actually a bit taken aback… I had focused so much on the Mountain and his atrocities, I didn't really paid any heed to the motivations of someone who would draw forth such a monster."

"I don't quite understand. Did you start to feel pity for him?"

From what the two of them had gathered in these last few days, Kariya Matou was cursed with his family's magic, about to be consumed by the bugs that were boosting his magical abilities. For someone Kirei knew had turned his back towards the world of magic, he was risking an awful lot in order to obtain the grail. So much in fact that Kirei had little illusions about the fate that awaited him at the end of this path. But judging from the girl's reaction, it wasn't quite that which worried her.

"Does the name 'Sakura' tells you anything? You were always quite familiar with the events surrounding this Matou clan, after all."

That was certainly an unexpected question. Kirei stared back at her long and hard, trying to ascertain just how much she already knew. But it seemed like in moments like these she was comparably more able to hide her thoughts. The only thing that was quite noticeable was her suspicion.

"Indeed, there is a girl of that name living at the Matou residence. A promising young magus only a year junior to Rin's age", he replied carefully. "As a granddaughter of Zouken Matou I think to remember."

"His granddaughter? So Kariya is her-"

"Not exactly", Kirei interrupted her forcefully. "The relationships among the Matou family members are a strange thing. As a former servant of your many-faced god it may seem strange to you, but Zouken is a creature who wimpers in fear of death like few others do who call themselves human. Not that he does anymore, anyway… His continuous struggles to cheat death have left the family tree of the Matou's a little wonky."

Arya nodded to that, seemingly accepting this correction. Kirei didn't like to lie, not because he particularly disliked falsehoods, but because he found it a crude and ineffective way to mislead people. In this case he thought that explaining Arya the full relationship of Sakura with the girl Arya had failed to save would only cause trouble one way or another. Deflecting that topic was therefore his only goal and it seemed that he accomplished that.

"What can you tell me about the conditions of how she is brought up in that house?"

Kirei's eyes narrowed.

"I cannot say I know any details. And I'd rather not speculate about them… Did you hear something that makes you worry about her safety?"

Arya bit her lip in dismay.

"I never heard anything specific. But when I followed the two of them, it seemed like this girl is trapped in quite a plight."

The priest nodded gravely, unable to suppress a sigh. It was true that he didn't know any details, but he knew of the magic of the Matou and from Kariya's condition it seemed not far of a stretch to assume that the Tohsaka girl was forced to undergo a similar treatment.

"In any case, with Caster gaining control over Berserker, the balance of this Grail War has tipped dangerously into her direction. I have to inform my father about this."

Arya seemed not pleased, but was still sitting down and watching him dial the number of his father's chapel.

"What then?", she finally asked just as he was about to let it ring.

"Then we will go after Caster, one way or another."

Risei

It had been a long time since Risei Kotomine had a good night's rest. The Grail War was originally supposed to be a magic ritual and had been dubbed a war over time because of its messy nature. So things getting messy wasn't really that out of the ordinary and it was his job as the supervisor to set things alright again. Ironically, Risei felt that his job was significantly easier 60 years ago, despite actual military forces and crazy German occult hunters getting involved. But at least these factions had the decency to attempt their own cover-ups in addition to the less intrusive media attention.

"I wonder how bad it would be in 60 years...", he sighed as he slumped down on his bed.

He had spent the whole night in touch with his church contacts infiltrating police and press, trying to put out all the fires Berserker's rampage had inflamed. He was certain there would be even more consequences later on, but that would have to be shown on the next days.

It was then, when the phone rang. His private line, not the official one of the chapel. There was only one person who would use this one.

"I wish you a good evening, son", Risei said as he picked it up.

"Good morning would be more appropriate, would it not?"

Risei gave a grim chuckle as he looked up at the clock.

"Yes it would. You can imagine this old man's trouble these last hours."

"I can. But I do not take you for a man who tires so easily", Kirei said matter-of-factly.

"Certainly. Though it would still be a blessing if this was the last Grail War this world has to endure. I trust you to make sure of that."

"If that is your wish, I will make it so."

The old priest grunted. Dutiful as ever. Without a hint of ambition as well. Man of his colleagues were wary about Kirei for that very reason, but Risei knew that this was the blessing he had received for his prayers upon his son's birth. Even then, even though he tried to not let it show, Risei noticed the change in him after Claudia's death. Kirei would vehemently deny it, but a parent had a way of understanding his child, especially when they had worked together for such a long time. Kirei was always eager to follow his footsteps, but now her tragic loss had shaken him enough to make him questioning his purpose in life. Risei had hoped that participating in the Grail War would take him back on track, but he hadn't expected for his friend Tokiomi's quest to end so poorly. Then again, maybe for Kirei himself that might not be too bad of a thing. The question of his wish now forced him to take a decision for himself. If anything, he might use it to restore things to how they used to be…

"I am sure you don't risk calling me only to ask for you old father's health."

"Naturally not. As the church observer you will likely learn it soon enough, but I wanted to inform you myself of what has transpired after the massacre in Miyama."

Risei listened carefully, giving only a few acknowledging grunts as Kirei relayed what Assassin had observed. The gears in his mind turned as he was contemplating the implications.

"You might not see it right now, but this actually gives us an opportunity", he mused.

"Us?", Kirei asked drily.

"Of course I cannot give you an advantage, but yesterday's victims force my hand either way. I was confiding with my contacts in the Mages' Association and my superiors in the Vatican and they all agree that the secrecy of the world of magic is at stake here. You know as well as I do how rare it is to find something these two organizations can agree on."

"What are you suggesting?"

The old priest took a long breath.

"Berserker has to put down because he seems uncontrollable and we cannot affort to have him run amok another time. Caster seems to take no interest in the Grail War and instead openly practices her magic in front of the population. Sure, her mind control may muddle her traces, but her forced proselytisation shows all the marks of serving a long-term goal beyond this conflict. As a man of god, I cannot let her succeed, but on its own it doesn't warrant an intervention of mine..."

"… but the combination of the actions of these two allows it?"

"Minor rule changes are within my authority. The problem is justifying them. I was already thinking about demanding Caster to stop her bonfires under threat of intervention by the other Masters. Now I can do so by proclaiming both her and Berserker a threat to public security."

"But Berserker didn't act while under Caster's thrall. In fact, it looked more like she putting him back under control."

"Do you honestly think the other Masters will question my decision when given the right incentive?", Risei gave a dark chuckle. "And it's not like Caster's own master is a position to complain. After all, you yourself said that he was enslaved by her."

"Indeed."

Risei couldn't help but notice that Kirei still seemed unconvinced. He couldn't blame him, after all it was a rather difficult position he found himself in. And it was not like Risei himself didn't take a massive risk upon himself through this proclamation.

"Well, it seems I will have to postpone my break once again. I will give the message that an announcement will be made this midday. The Grail War is suspended until Caster has been dealt with. The one to do so will be granted an additional command spell."

There was a bit of a pause until Kirei answered.

"You expect me to be the one dealing the killing strike?"

"You lost yours save for one. Of course I am thinking that it would be useful for you. As much as you have come to trust the girl's abilities, she is just Assassin and needs every advantage you can get. Especially without any allies. That is, if you have a plan to take care of Caster on your own."

"Assassin is insistent that a Red Priestess is difficult to take by surprise. We are just two. But I have come to think that I might be able to make some arrangements that play in our favor."

Even though they were divided by quite some distance, Risei gave an encouraging smile. It was remarkable how fast Kirei was able to adapt to this new situation. His life depended on it, to be sure, but that didn't make it any less impressive.

"I will not ask for any more details, son. I will leave it to you to bring this to an end. Just take care of you and yourself. Goodbye."

"Goodbye, father."

After putting down the receiver, Risei Kotomine stood up with renewed vigour.

Back to work! This Red Woman will learn not to underestimate the power of the church.

Jaime

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

An innocent question from more innocent times. The words from that moonlit night echoed through his ears and every time they did, they would sound ever more menacingly and making him shudder.

They rang in his ear as he pulled the trigger on the gun that killed his father.

They rang in his ear as he saw the plane with the woman who saved him burst into flame.

They rang in his ear every time he looked upon his wife and child.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

An innocent question needed an innocent answer. A child that had no idea that his childhood would end soon enough.

"I want to be a hero."

A reply that he thought, but never spoke. She would have laughed about it. But then again… would she have?

"Change the world. You can do it. I promise."

A hero is one who saves people. I learned early that I don't deserve to call myself one. Through inaction I allowed many people to die. Far too many...

A knife drenched in blood. An anguished plea for death through gritted teeth. A boy staring helplessly at the girl he loved, frozen in shock and unwilling to comply to her desperate wish. A burning village, walking corpses. Death and insanity, the result of his perceived cowardice.

Never again.

A life lived to that motto. Always carrying the burden of sacrificing the few to save the many. With fate taking a twisted pleasure in bringing him into situations where the few are people close to him.

Irisviel…

Jaime woke up from his dream and looked into the eyes of the woman whose name had just passed his thoughts. He could tell immediately that he was back in the stuffy hotel room of the Magus Killer, mostly because of the dark atmosphere that made it hard to tell what time of day it was.

"Ser Jaime?", Irisviel still looked down at him with a worried expression.

His attempt at giving an encouraging smile turned into a pained grunt. He immediately regretted waking up as he felt like his blood was boiling in his veins, cooking him alive, in addition to a nasty pain creeping up from his side. He looked down and saw that the veins on his chest had turned to a nasty blue, originating from the scar where Oberyn had hit him some time ago.

"I should probably be worried about who removed my clothes", he gave a tired chuckle. "Or who has carried me over here."

The silver-haired woman looked to the side. Kiritsugu was leaning against the wall next to the door with a grim expression.

"I apologize for causing you trouble", Jaime said to him rather sheepishly, but didn't receive an answer.

"How long did you know of your condition, Ser Jaime?", it was Irisviel who now spoke up.

"Well, granted, I suspected something like this would happen the moment I learned the Red Viper was summoned into this mess."

"Is there a way to heal him?", Kiritsugu asked his wife without even looking at Jaime.

She shook her head.

"I tried everything I can. The poison seems to have magical properties that make it impossible for my spells to cleanse his body. This outcome was inevitable the moment he was wounded."

"If it is a curse, killing Lancer might do the trick", Kiritsugu wondered aloud.

"Is that how curing poison works in your world?", Jaime asked back grimly.

Kiritsugu now shot him a glare, though it was noticeably more tired than usual.

"It is the best shot we now have. Your poisoning is limiting our options quite a lot, especially after overexerting yourself against Berserker. I hope you haven't doomed us all in your foolishness."

"I regret that I wasn't able to bring him down, but you can't hold against me that I tried. Clegane's victims aside, teaming up with Martell was the safest way to remove him from your game."

"No, the safest way would be for me to take down his Master. Something that I will have to do now either way. But there are news you should know."

Jaime forced himself to sit upright. He may have been in pain, but certainly didn't want to behave as if dead.

"While you were down, the priest overseeing the Grail War had made an announcement. Caster has put Berserker under her control. The Grail War has been suspended and an additional command spell is offered to the Master who would bring her down."

"… and Berserker with her...", Jaime mused. "That's great news."

"It is. With everyone scrambling for Caster, maybe Lancer's new Master will come out of hiding."

The knight of the Kingsguard needed a few seconds to register the reasoning of his liege.

"Wait… you are speaking of bringing him down once Caster has been dealt with, do you?"

"Of course not. I have to strike while they are at their most distracted."

Jaime sighed. He had come to expect that kind of thinking from that grumpy bastard.

"Come on, you must see that once Berserker has been defeated, a mountainous ill-tempered obstacle will be removed from our path to victory. And Oberyn, as loath as I am to admit it, is our best chance at bringing him down. I'm counting two Gregor-kills going on him by now, that speaks for itself."

Kiritsugu audibly gnashed his teeth at that.

"And what if the poison strikes you down until then? You can barely stand as it is, how are you going to defeat this Red Viper in your condition?"

The Kingslayer gave a dark chuckle.

"I have both my hands and a Valyrian sword on my belt. Trust me, I have pulled through worse. And with his poison already having entered my body and Lady Irisviel's magic keeping me on my feet, there is no reason to hold back in my fights with him anymore. Trust me, I still got a few tricks left that will leave you speechless."

"It is too risky. I cannot gamble with the future of mankind on the boasts of a dying man. No… I will go out and set up a perimeter near that hill where Caster is hiding at…"

With that he moved to leave.

"Emiya!", Jaime called out, a little surprised himself about this sudden fancy, but the gruesome pictures of his dream were still vivid in front of his eyes. "I know that it must seem like life has been shitting on you all this time, but just this once have some faith. I am your sword."

"What do you know about my life?", Kiritsugu growled with a voice so low the hostility made Jaime flinch a bit.

"I…", Jaime hesitated, he wasn't used to try to sugar-coat his meaning.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

"I... You know, when I was a little boy the only stories I would listen to were the ones of shining knights slaying monsters and saving noble ladies. There was never a shadow of a doubt that this is what I wanted to do. I didn't want to grow mouldy in a dark castle counting coppers, I wanted to be out there saving the world from its ills.

"One day my chance came. There was an infamous group of outlaws, the Kingswood Brotherhood, that terrorized nobles and smallfolk alike. It became so infamous, the king sent out his own Kingsguard to bring it down. When he was fighting alongside Arthur Dayne against the mad and cruel Smiling Knight, that boy found himself taking part of the kind of heroics and chivalry that he thought only possible in the stories he liked so much.

But then I became I knight like them and the boy died. It didn't happen overnight, it was more a long and cruel process, but somewhere in the years thereafter, that boy saw just how cruel and pointless it all was and that killed him. And whenever I looked into the mirror later on, I always wondered what that boy would think about the man I had become.

Don't you ask yourself the same question sometimes, Master?"

Kiritsugu gave a dismissive grunt and disappeared through the door. If any of what Jaime had tried to tell him got through, he had no idea how to judge whether it was helpful or not.

"I sure hope he doesn't do anything foolish. That… thing… shouldn't be underestimated", he spoke more to himself than Irisviel.

"Foolish like you ignoring your condition?", she replied with a biting smile.

Jaime paused at that. There was no sharpness in her tone, but that made it all the worse. It reminded him of the way his mother used to gently chide him when he skipped his lessons to go on adventures in the bowels of Casterly Rock. He also became uncomfortably aware that she must have treated his wounds and watched his sleep for quite some time.

"I… I apologize again", he replied sheepishly. "I sure hope I didn't overstep lines."

"I must admit, I'm not sure about that…"

Kariya

The sun was already setting after a day that had passed far too fast, drenching the sky in a red orange glow. It was not the kind of dawn that made you gaze up romantically. To Kariya Matou it was red like blood, announcing the violence that came with each night in this sick battle for the Grail.

He took a deep breath as he was standing at the entrance of the Matou residence. With its window shutters perpetually closed and illuminated only by the glow of the sky, it looked like a haunted house. Not that it wasn't haunted, at least from Kariya's perspective. He had to admit that he was dragging his feet a bit and cursed his cowardice. Too many terrible memories were connected with this accursed place. With his body restored and feeling as healthy as never before, with having slept in a proper bed for the first time in ages, with having been reborn out of the ashes that was his life up to this point, returning here felt like throwing all of it away again. But there was no more time to waste. She was waiting for him. With fake vigour he strode through the garden and pushed the buzzer. Not that he needed to ring, after all he had keys to the place. But he had reason to announce himself…

After a minute of waiting the door was opened by a figure with dark hair and a face that wouldn't look too unlike Kariya's if not for his pink and puffy cheeks bloated by alcohol abuse. The man eyed him suspiciously.

"I hadn't thought to see you again. So you haven't gotten killed yet, after all, like the old man said", Kariya's brother Byakuya stated with a sneer. "Wait… how come you look less like a corpse now?"

Despite himself, Kariya gave a sigh of relief.

"I'm glad to find you first. You are just the one I wanted to talk to."

"Me?", Byakuya blinked in confusion. "You must be kidding! You never were glad to see bland old me. 'cause I was never special enough, I guess."

"Trust me, I'm serious. You have to hurry. Take Shinji and get out of here."

Byakuya opened his mouth and closed it again like a fish gasping for air. He was staring incredulously at his brother, seemingly weighing whether he was too much in his cups to comprehend. Kariya grew impatient.

"Take Shinji and get out of here", he repeated, raising his voice threateningly.

His brother was taken aback by the sudden hostility, but still didn't seem to pick up the hint to get moving. Having lost the last of his patience, Kariya just stared him down as Berserker was manifesting right behind him. He saw Byakuya's eyes widen in horror as he stumbled backwards into the house.

"Okay, okay… I don't know what you want to do, but I certainly don't want to be any part of it."

"Hurry!", Kariya thundered, his temper flaring up.

He followed Byakuya into the house and watched him flee up the stairs. The hulking headless monstrosity in white shadowed him without a noise as Kariya was thinking whether he should also recommend using the backdoor on their way out. He didn't get to it as a hideous and yet all too familiar presence was already standing in the hallway, observing his every step with cruel intent.

"So the wayward son has found his way home. I must say, this turn of action is surprising to me. When the crest worms in you died, I thought that was it for this little experiment", Zouken stated coldly.

The shrivelled creature that was called Zouken Matou was standing just about six meters away from him, but his piercing yellow eyes made Kariya tense up right away. To the unsuspecting observer he was a sickly old man barely able to walk, but if you looked closely, everyone could notice that there was something inhuman about him. Something that went beyond his impossible age. He was giving off an aura of decay and death wherever he walked, as if sucking the life out of the ground he walked upon. Kariya was certainly not looking forward to this meeting.

"It is over. I am free of your grasp", Kariya shot back.

"For the moment. I look forward to your explanation for how you managed to survive your contract without the worms. I was not aware that getting rid of his head would save you all that much mana", his eyes then fell upon Kariya's hand that he had tried to hide behind his back for the time being. "Or is it that you abandoned your contract altogether? It gets curiouser and curiouser..."

Kariya clenched his fists.

"You are right. I am not the one sustaining Berserker anymore. But I was allowed to give him one last order before my part ends."

Zouken's hands still rested on his walking stick as he was watching Kariya . He was still grinning like the devil he was, but his eyes turned more malicious by the minute. He always hated Kariya for turning his back on him all these years ago and this whole time he used this Grail War as an excuse to torture and kill him, but even then Kariya noted that he tried to squeeze out the last bit of usefulness out of him till the end. However as they were staring each other down, Zouken was quite visibly reconsidering his plan for Kariya's future to be outright murder. A shiver went down Kariya's spine as he saw his time running away.

"Ah, so it is how I suspected. My dear nephew has allowed himself to become someone else's pawn. Too bad. So what will you use your single order before your new Master will end your miserable existence?"

Kariya then did something he didn't expect to do. He laughed. It was a dry, cruel laugh as he was stepping to the side and looked up at the headless giant in his gleaming white armor.

All these years of misery. All this torture, all this mockery… It all ends today!

"Berserker!", he shouted, spit flying out of his mouth as he did so. "Destroy him!"

It all happened in a blur. The giant drew his towering sword. Zouken was barely able to frown as it lunged towards him with inhuman speed. A sickening slicing sound echoed through the hallway as Berserker cut through Zouken's lower body with a single swing. His upper body fell back forward to the ground while his legs stubbornly stood still for a second before slumping down in a puddle as well. This would have killed any ordinary man, but Zouken was no ordinary man. Let alone a man.

"Wahahahaha!", his cackling mockery filled the air as his upper body was lifting itself upright again. "I hope you drew some satisfaction from wasting your order like this. You didn't really think you could get rid of me so easily, do you?"

A squishing sound gave Kariya a foreboding feeling as he watched Zouken's legs and lower body dissolve into a heap of crawling creatures that soon enough flung themselves into the air with violent buzzing. He took a few steps backward, seeing himself confronted with their murderous intend, but it didn't diminish the madness that had taken hold of him.

"Oh, I promise, old vampire, it did indeed feel quite satisfying!"

Berserker, still having his sword drawn, fell back to his former Master's side. The giant would be impervious to their stings himself, but against a swarm of these bugs he was notably ill-equipped to shield Kariya from if Zouken went for him seriously. Something Kariya was painfully aware of.

"Before you die, please help me understand", Zouken spoke with a chilly voice. "Just what exactly did you hope to accomplish with your sacrifice? If it is the girl you want, then you know that her life is in my hands no matter what you do."

Bile came up from his throat. Threatening him with death was one thing, he had already experienced it enough for a lifetime, but bringing up Sakura just enraged him further.

"Oh, is it now?", Kariya hissed mockingly.

The old man's eyes widened. And for the first time he can remember, Kariya caught him by surprise.

The Matou Girl

Sleep… sleep… why doesn't it come? It hurts. It shouldn't be hurting anymore, but it still hurts. Why… why… why...

The girl seldom found moments relief. There was no safety in this house that wasn't hers, even in the room she was supposed to claim as her own. Training, her grandfather who who wasn't her grandfather, called it.

No, I am not allowed to think that way. He is my grandfather… He always was. Certainly I'm the one who misremembers.

Whenever she faced him, it was like he knew her thoughts. He knew when she was thinking thoughts that Sakura Matou shouldn't think. Thinks she got wrong. About a time where she felt warmth. About a time where she felt safe. About a time when her body still belonged to herself. About a time where the horrors inside her weren't driving her insane day and night. About a time where she didn't always feel like tearing her skin off just to find a moment of relief.

Why can't I just sleep?

Training for today was over. The girl was allowed some time for herself. She wanted to drift off into the nothingness of sleep, but the thoughts kept coming, keeping her awake.

What am I even trying? Even if I sleep, the nightmares would keep coming. Nightmares of the day… nightmares of the night…

The girl shuddered beneath the blankets. There would be no respite. Never again. Hope itself had proved to be a poison that just amplified her pain. Her grandfather had said so. He was dead. The broken man who shared her memories of warmth. Who told her that they weren't a lie and told her to cherish them. He must have been lying. If he wasn't lying, why would he give up his safety and spend a year sharing her fate?

Liar or not, now he is dead. Alongside his promises…

There were no tears left for him, that was for sure. She had long given up expressing herself in ways that would leave her vulnerable. All emotions had been too dangerous, really. If she showed herself too confident, her grandfather would have to put her down. If she showed herself too weak, he would have to make her endure more to toughen her up. So she had resolved herself to just accept everything, not feel anything, powering on. Step by step she would starve him of the satisfaction he felt by violating her. It would be a hollow victory, but it was the only victory she saw within the confines of her life.

Sakura shuddered again. But not from the bleak future awaiting her, but from a gust of wind brushing past her cheek. She opened her eyes to the pitch blackness of her room, unsure what horror awaited her next, but the room seemed suspiciously empty. After a bit of adjustment she noticed however how the curtain of the window above the desk was swinging in the wind. The window must have been wide open. Something that shouldn't be possible. Both of her windows were always locked and her grandfather didn't allow her to have the keys. He probably feared that she would throw herself out of them in a moment of bravery.

I have to close it right away. If grandfather sees it opened, he will…

Panic took hold of her, but as she was pushing herself up from her bed, a sudden movement in the corner of her eye made her freeze amidst her motion. Her first impression was wrong. Something was indeed in her room. She stared into the darkness until her eyes hurt and her vision blurred, but all she could see was shadows forming shapeless monsters from her mind. Monsters she wasn't afraid of, because they couldn't match the true monsters she had to face every day. Sakura gritted her teeth and sat upright, facing these monsters…

… and immediately realized that they weren't just the result of her mind messing with her vision. There was a vaguely humanoid shape standing directly next to her bed, staring down at her silently. It was made of darkness, made of the same shadows she had been looking at just a moment ago. Sakura inevitably flinched, but fought the urge down to pull up her blanket.

If this is just another session of training, he would be furious if I let myself get scared.

There had been surprise sessions in the middle of the night before. Grandfather would enter her room unannounced, she would have to get up and follow him down to the basement. Whenever he did that, it meant that she had reached a step that made more extensive… treatments… necessary. Whenever he did that, she wouldn't see the sun of the next day. Whenever he did that, she lost more of herself down there.

The shadow was still looming over her bed. It was watching her unmoving, uncaring. There was no warmth in it and yet she also couldn't feel the cold sadism of her grandfather in it. The thought that this might be not one of his creatures was born in her head. But even if it wasn't, what would it matter?

If you came to kill me, just do it…

But it didn't attack. It seemed shrinking until it's head was on the level of hers.

No, not shrinking. Kneeling?

Sakura felt even more confused. At least until she noted that it was also holding something up as if presenting it with both hands. It was difficult to figure out what it was at first, but the more she stared at it, the more a faint red glow seemed to drive the darkness around it away.

A gem stone? No… a pendant?

A large red jewel attached to a silver chain, a cross engraved upon it. Sakura had never seen it before, but for some reason she felt a sudden burst of warmth overcoming her aching body. Even the horrors inside her seemed to have been frozen in awe. This glow, this warmth. It reminded her of the time that wasn't anymore. The time that she had convinced herself was a lie.

"Stop it...", she whispered to the temptation of the shadow creature. "Stop it, stop it, stop it!"

She crawled away from it until her back hit the wall. This was a trap. This must have been a trap. Her grandfather was waiting just outside, waiting for her to cling to this tiny shred of hope, only to enter with all of his fury unleashed if she did so. The punishment would be severe. There would be nothing of her left afterwards. It would finally drive her insane.

"Why are you doing this to me? Why, why… why...", she almost screamed, cowering down and holding her eyes firmly closed, but she knew better than to raise her voice too much.

A minute must have passed. Then two minutes. All she could hear was the noise of her own ragged breathing, all she could feel was the chill from the opened window and the occasional wriggling under her skin that shot a sharp pain through her nerves. But when she opened her eyes, the shadow was still there, waiting.

"What do you want?", Sakura finally pleaded.

The shadow didn't answer. It probably couldn't. All it did was putting the pendant onto her bed, almost gently in its movements. The moment it rested there, the shadow dissolved into the darkness of her room. She searched for it but no matter how much she strained her eyes, she couldn't make out its distinct shape anymore. It seemed that she was finally alone again. Alone with this gift or curse.

Sakura took a deep breath. Her eyes wandered to the opened window, but if she was to go up and close it, she would have to go around the pendant somehow. Yet she feared that even touching it was a decision that came with a great risk. Or maybe great rewards…

Despite her best efforts, Sakura felt drawn to it. Its dim shimmer was increasing. Soon enough her entire bed was engulfed in a bright red glow. She knew that a decision had to be made, one way or another. Taking it or leaving it. And if she left it, that meant informing her grandfather of what had happened here. Of that strange guest… and the red jewel.

Could it be?

A dangerous thought passed her mind. Of the family that wasn't hers and of the father that wasn't hers. This pendant was something very much to his fancy. Sakura was torn. The hope in her chest fought with the fears in her mind. If this was a message of him instead of a trap. If he was telling her to remember who she was. Of the name she had forgotten. Of the warmth she had felt.

Why… why do you torture me so much? Why do I have to decide?

She felt like crying. It would be so easy. She just had to pick it up and hide it somewhere her grandfather couldn't find. But where would that be? This house was his realm. There was not a single corner that belonged to her. Not a single crevice that was safe from his stranglehold.

And yet Sakura found herself moving closer, her seemingly forgotten courage returning as she was gritting her teeth.

No, this is my decision. I will have to stand by it. I will have to make it count. Please… please help me… please… I cannot take it otherwise!

With that thought she touched the chain. For a moment she feared the pendant would fade like a mirage, but nothing at all happened. The silver felt cold and heavy to the touch. Nothing more, nothing less. Her numb fingers gripped around it, stiff and aching as they always were. Nothing happened. She raised the pendant into the air, her ruined arms barely able to lift it. Nothing happened. Her eyes darted back and forth between the pendant and the door. The absence of her grandfather intervening was the last push she needed. In one last show of determination she clasped the jewel that was the heart of the pendant…

… and it immediately flared up in a flash of blinding light and boiling heat. The horrors inside her screamed in terror as they were consumed by it and for a frantic moment she thought she would burn alive alongside them. And yet she endured, clasping the jewel ever hard, praying ever harder to be freed.

And when the light subsided, Sakura Matou had broken the chains inside her.

Kariya

Zouken's expression of surprise and confusion was an exhilarating sight to Kariya. Even back when Kariya turned his back on him and spat the sickening legacy of his family into his face, there was no surprise in the old vampire, only anger and a tinge of disappointment. In the way that someone is disappointed about a pawn being removed from the chess board.

"What have you done?", Zouken's voice was barely a whisper.

"Why aren't you telling me? I thought you were the powerful Magus?", Kariya shot back in his ongoing madness.

"You… you will pay for this!"

His flying bugs shot forward, intent on skewering Kariya. Despite knowing the futility, he shielded his face with his arms and even saw Berserker moving in between for interception, but several of Zouken's accursed beasts evaded the lightning strikes of the greatsword. They reached him and… were set ablaze still in flight.

In his years of torment under Zouken's fist, Kariya learned quite a bit about the man. That was just basic self-preservation of course. He needed to read his moods, when he was at his most ill-tempered, when his gentle words were chosen on purpose to inflict the most pain later on, but also the sparse moments where he was too focused on his goals to waste time with petty cruelty. In doing so he learned what was driving Zouken. The fragility of his body caused him all kinds of discomfort that he tended to vent with his sadism. Because there was one thing he was afraid of more than anything else: Death. He was whimpering in fear of it. Learning that was quite important for Kariya. Learning that his tormentor had such a glaring weakness broke his belief that he was untouchable and gave him the final push to try his luck turning his back on his family.

When the shape of the Red Woman was manifesting alongside him, the eyes of the old vampire still on the ground widened in what could only be absolute terror. It was the face of someone facing certain death. There was no hesitation, no mocking retort, no attempt to fight back. Zouken's remaining body just burst into a swarm of his insects and made a run for the opposite direction, towards the open dining room door.

"May R'hllor's light cleanse this spawn of the great enemy! Begone!", she chanted, almost melodically.

The fleeing bugs burst into flames and an almost human screech escaped them as they burned, setting fire to carpet and door and walls. The screech lingered on and on for seconds that seemed an eternity and Kariya could swear that he was hearing them scream with Zouken's voice as not only his mortal body, but his very soul was consumed by Melisandre's spell.

"Is it over?", Kariya asked while watching the fire spread into the dining room.

"Not yet", Melisandre spoke with a hint of a frown. "This is a foul place. The touch of evil goes deep, beyond wood and stone. It all needs to be washed away by the light of god.

"Good riddance", Kariya nodded. "Nobody will miss it."

Kariya inadvertently looked up the stairs to where Sakura's room was and his eyes immediately met hers. She stood atop the stairs staring down at the carnage below as if just woken up by the mess they had made. How long she stood there was anyone's guess.

"Sakura...", his voice cracked as he was addressing her.

"Uncle Kariya...", she glanced at the still burning remnants of Zouken. "Is he really gone?"

"Yes. He can't hurt you anymore", Kariya emphasized.

He can't hurt us anymore…

The Lady Melisandre stepped into his sight, apparently a bit concerned about the spread of the flames.

"Take the girl. I will go to the basement and finish this. We will meet outside", she sounded as if the whole place and every second spent in it disgusted her, a sentiment Kariya knew all too well.

"Understood", he made for the stairs while both Melisandre and Berserker vanished in a golden mist, leaving them alone. "Come Sakura, you will never have to see this place again!"

She still stood there without a motion, staring at him with empty eyes. Much like him she looked significantly healthier than when he last saw her, but beneath her pale skin the mental scars clearly remained. She gave no resistance when Kariya picked her up and carried her at his chest, but she still felt fragile as a porcelain doll.

Several minutes later they reunited with Melisandre out in the garden. Whatever exorcism the Red Woman used, it was pretty thorough. They had barely time to turn around as they watched the upper stories of the mansion getting swallowed by a burst of flame. Kariya doubted that there would be much left of it afterwards, unlike the Tohsaka mansion that had suffered, but ultimately won against the battle that had taken place in it.

"It is done", Lady Melisandre announced, looking down at Sakura who was visibly shrinking down under her gaze before she addressed Kariya again. "Your role in this Grail War has finally come to an end. I expect you to leave this city right away and see to it that no more harm befalls the child."

Kariya nodded without a hesitation. That was their bargain. His only goal was to live to make up to his sins. Not that he had much to bargain with as she had already taken Berserker from him, but his only remaining aim ultimately aligned very well with hers.

"I… I thank you for everything", he stammered. "There is just one question: Why? Why doing all this? You could have walked away yesterday and leave me to die, there was no reason to go out of your way to save Sakura. Why did you do as much as challenge Zouken for my sake?"

Her featured darkened a bit.

"This was not done for your sake, never forget that", Melisandre continued only after a meaningful pause that gave Kariya room to regret his choice of words and when she did, she looked into the distance with a heavy expression. "But I have seen the future in the flames when I asked for the purpose of my being here. I saw an endless night consuming this city, the Great Other reaching for your world, but him opposed stood two girls with purple eyes beneath the shadow of black wings. One of these girls I recognized as your Sakura."

The radiant woman paused again, making Kariya take in once again her otherworldly glow and the smell of burned cinders that may or may not have come from the flaming inferno behind her.

"This battle, this Grail War, is just a pointless squabble for a hollow trophy that contains only the spark of great evil. It is my duty as a servant of R'hllor to guide this people and prepare them for what is to come. But my time is limited, yours is not. I expect you to uphold your promises and atone."

"I will", Kariya replied with a little hesitation. "I still don't know what you are hinting at, but if Sakura can live, it is fine with me."

"Then I wish you farewell Kariya Matou, Sakura Matou. I hope that we will not have to meet again."

The Lady Melisandre gave a deep bow and when she afterwards tried to stroke Sakura's hair, the girl flinched away from her, clinging to Kariya. The Red Woman smiled bitterly about that, but vanished in a golden mist all the same, leaving the two behind in front of the raging flames of what used to be the prison they had been bound to.

Sakura looked up at him, for the first time ever since he saw her again a year ago her eyes were welling with tears.

"Can I go home now?", she asked.

Kariya swallowed and felt a piercing pain in his chest as he drew her towards himself and hugged her tight.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry..."