COLD SPOTS

He's not expected this - not expected her - and yet, here he is, stuck between a rock and a hard place. He can't exactly tell when or how Sakura manages to get past his defences, but somehow she does; and she tears them down one by one, until he is stripped down to his very essence, everything that is him left bare for her prying green eyes to see. Tobirama hates it. And yet, at the same time, he loves it and can't seem to get enough.

He smiles more when she is around, Hashirama notes one day. His face is entirely serious but his eyes are lit up with a strange sort of happiness and warmth that makes Tobirama want to turn away. He's not beautiful on the inside, unlike her, and it is futile of his brother to think that Sakura can bring out the best in him because there is nothing there to see. He is a battle hardened, twisted soul, an old soul; but then again, so is she, and somehow she takes everything within him that is bad and makes it good. And he lets her. Lets her reform him under her soft hands, mould him into something better, stronger, more beautiful, until she is as important to him as the air he breathes because she does it so well.

She will have to leave one day, she's told him so from the very beginning - even before they got to know each other the way they know each other now - and Tobirama knows he can't let her go because he needs her and without her he is like a fish out of water. He can't let her leave, and yet they both know that he will. Because even if she makes him complete, makes him feel, makes him burn, he's sure that she will wither and die if he decides to keep her against her will. She's got friends to go back to, family - maybe even a lover? He doesn't know, he's never asked, and she's never brought it up, but sometimes she'll mumble a name in her sleep - Sasuke - and wake up crying in the middle of the night. And Tobirama will gather her close and whisper gentle words into her hair, words that are so unlike him but feel so right when she is the one who hears them, until she'll calm down enough for the tears to stop. Promise me you'll take care of the Uchiha, she'll whisper against his throat. They are more important than you think. He never answers. No matter how much he loves her, how far he would go to make her happy, he's not sure he's got it within him to keep his word if he gives this particular promise. Nothing in the world does he loathe as much as the Uchiha warmongers. So he'll stay quiet, and she'll look at him with a sad understanding in her eyes before nuzzling closer, pressing her cheeks that are wet from crying against his chest. And when her breathing has evened out once more and her shoulders relax, Tobirama will lie awake in the dead of night and stare into the darkness with a heavy heart because he wants to give her what she wants, but can't.

The first time he actually cracks a joke is on a rainy day and it surprises everyone, including him. Oh my, Hashirama yells excitedly from across the room. Sakura's influence rears its pretty head! Tobirama sends a fierce scowl his brother's way, because he doesn't need him to make such a fuss about this, thank you very much. But then Sakura slides her petite hand into his and the frown melts away like ice under the sun. He looks into her smiling face and can see the world in her eyes - his world. Ne, ne, Sakura-chan, Hashirama grins at them. Promise you'll never ever leave, okay? You really bring out the best in Tobi. She doesn't answer, merely inclines her head a bit. They both know what it means, even if Hashirama is blissfully unaware. She can't stay. She'll have to go back eventually, go back to wherever it is she's come from (she's never told him). But the way her fingers tighten around his, the way the breath catches in her throat at his brother's words, tells him what she really wants. (I want to stay.)

I love you, she breathes against his lips that night - it is the first time she's actually said it out loud. It makes him the happiest man on earth and at the same time tears him apart into little pieces until there is nothing left of him because she'll leave, leave, leave, leave, and he won't be able to keep her. It is the soft touch of her fingers sliding up his back, the gentle pressure of her lips against his jaw that puzzles him back together, even if his heart still aches.

I love you, she whispers again, her cheeks flushed and legs wrapped around his hips. I love you so, so much. And Tobirama almost breaks.

You'll need to warm up to them eventually, she tells him flatly on a sunny day. He only frowns into his tea. He doesn't need to ask who she's talking about. I'm serious, Tobirama. Why is this so important to you, he retorts sharply. It's not as if they've ever done anything good. She looks at him with this sad broken look in her eyes she sometimes gets after she's dreamed of Sasuke and his heart twists a little.

I need you to take care of them, she insists. Please, Tobirama. It's important. He leans back in his seat, arms crossed over his armour. What is all this talk about taking care of the Uchiha, he growls angrily, annoyed that she is so persistent in the matter. She only stares at him. The minutes tick by as they look at each other in silence and eventually he lets out a dejected sigh. I won't love them, he tells her gruffly, fingers clasped tightly around his elbows. But I can promise you I will not alienate them. Sakura's face lights up at his words. Swear it, she demands and holds out one finger. Swear you'll take good care of them. He grumbles something under his breath, but wraps his finger around hers nonetheless. I swear I will take care of the Uchiha clan, he says. And she folds her tiny hand into his large one and smiles.

On another sunny day, he finally asks who Sasuke is. Sakura looks at him for a moment before turning away to stare dully at the horizon. Sasuke is the biggest fuck-up in all of history, she says. Really, his talent for making a mess of things is astounding. Tobirama raises one eyebrow. She sighs. I used to love him, she admits quietly with her shoulders slumped and her head bowed. Used to? He asks when she doesn't say anything more. Yes, she nods. I don't anymore. He's not sure he can believe her words - she cries his name in her sleep, after all. What happened? She smiles wryly at this. He went and fucked things up is what happened. Which is why I can't love him anymore. Tobirama quirks a brow. Because he messed up? Yes, she nods. Because he truly and royally screwed us all over. Meeting his gaze, she cocks her head. That's why I'm here. She doesn't elaborate on her puzzling words, and he is too proud to pry.

Remember that promise you made me? She asks.

The one about the Uchiha?

Yes. I'll need you to remember it. Even when I'm gone, don't forget about it, okay? It's super important.

How could I, he whispers, nuzzling her temple fondly. When it's a promise I made to you. When he pulls away, he's not surprised to see tears falling down her cheeks. He wipes them away gently with the calloused pad of his thumb and leans in to press the softest kiss he can manage to her lips. She quivers under his touch, her fingers crumpling up his shirt, and bursts out crying. I think my heart just broke, she chokes out in a strangled voice. He doesn't answer, instead gathers her close against his chest and holds her there, face buried in the crook of her neck. I love you, he mouthes tonelessly against her skin. Sakura shivers and wraps her arms around his shoulders, almost as if she never wants to let go. But she'll have to eventually.

I love you, her hushed voice drifts through the darkness. I love you so much it hurts. Tobirama doesn't say anything. He knows the feeling after all. Instead, he listens to her whispered words, and can't shake the impression that she is saying goodbye to him. I feel like my heart breaks, and I want to cry, and sometimes it feels like there isn't enough air for me to breathe. I love you so so much, and no matter how much I want to show you, I can never hold you close enough. You're the sun of my life.

You're my stars, he whispers, and she curls up against his chest and cries. So far away and forever out of reach.

I love you. I love you, I love you.

The next morning, she is gone. Her side of the bed is made up neatly, and there is nothing left that speaks of her presence but the heartache in his chest. He's not bothered by the fact that she hasn't woken him - they have said their goodbyes a million times already, after all. It feels strangely cold, the area just above his heart where her head used to lie every night. He doesn't get up that day. He doesn't get up the day after, and the day after that. On the fourth day, Hashirama comes to see him and he cries, possibly for the first time in his life. On the fifth day, he rises from his bed and feels like drowning himself. On the sixth day, he remembers the promise he made to her. And on the seventh, he sets out to find the Uchiha and apologise for everything and yes, he wants to make things alright between the two clans.

Years and years after that fateful week, Konoha thrives and prospers. The clans are united and strive for greatness side by side, Yamanaka and Akimichi, Nara and Aburame, the newly settled Hyuga and the Inuzuka and all the others. And ahead of all, Senju and Uchiha, tied together by friendship and a loyalty that runs deeper than hate ever could. Together, they set out to bring peace to the world of shinobi while Tobirama stands back, watching, clutching at that strangely cold spot on his chest, and wonders if this is what she wanted.

Yay!

Something quick I jotted down when I was supposed to be studying because I've got a test tomorrow. Weirdly enough, that is when I feel the most creative and motivated.

Sasuke - the biggest fuck up in history. As hinted in the story, he made good on his promise to destroy Konoha and 'screw everyone over royally', which is why Sakura was sent back in time to straighten things out. Suffice to say, she didn't actually plan on doing it the way she ended up doing it (by getting Tobirama to do it - so many do's in here), but she did it (there, another one), and that's what counts. So now she's back in the future with everyone happy, the Uchiha all alive, Sasuke loved and cherished by his family and only disliked by Sakura because he's the cause for so much heartbreak. But of course, being the sweet little brat he is in the Manga before his entire family is wiped out, she can't stay mad at him forever and thus forgives him for everything he doesn't even know he's done. Tadaa! Logic.

This is sort of a summary/sequel to my series of drabbles 'Colder Spots' (which was written after this oneshot). If you're interested in some more Tobi/Saku, go check it out!

I'm curious, are there any other Tobi/Saku shippers out there? Because I know the pairing isn't all that popular, but boy are there some good stories about it.

Much love,

planless

P.S.: I've nicked the cover image from citrodrops on tumblr. Go check out her blog (I hope it's a her), there's some pretty neat stuff there.