Hei swayed side to side as he carried an unconscious Yin. He didn't know where he was going, or how much longer he could go on like this. But the feel of Yin in his arms once again kept him going for miles. He walked for hours before finding an abandoned warehouse to take shelter in.

He rested her comatose body on some empty crates. He stripped himself of trench coat and wrapped it around her nude form in attempt to keep out the cold. He wished he could do better for her. He'd waited so long for the moment they'd reunite. She was the only reason he'd started fighting for the CIA, even though they were supposed to be running away from organizations like the Syndicate in the first place. He was willing to get entangled back into the world of people who supported the suppression of contractors and dolls. If only to find his way back to her.

And he did it. He reclaimed his powers and freed her from Izanami's tight suffocating grasp on her soul. They were together at last. He wanted to take her someplace decent, special even! She never asked for much, but he needed to let her know how much he'd needed her the past two years. Just the thought of her waking up in a run-down mold and insect infested place like this made him sick with shame.

He wanted to take her to a hotel, or a motel, or anywhere but here! But he was far too exhausted to go any further. Besides, he needed to get Yin out of the cold.

Hei let himself crumble to ground and leaned on the crates Yin lied on. Seeing her, he felt all the exhaustion of the past two years bestowed upon him. Ever since Izanami awakened and Yin was forced to bid Hei farewell, he went a great distance to avoid feeling anything. She was the one who showed him he could. She proved it through her own example, through her silent support, and through her feelings for him. She helped him gain what he'd lost ever since he became a contractor. But the moment he was without her, he felt a despair so great that he longed to feel nothing. Even with her gone he couldn't forget the mark she left on his soul. The cursed feelings remained with him, and he longed for a way to suppress his feelings. To vanquish the constant cycle of unbearable pain that came with his life.

He wanted to forget everything. To push it back to the deep recesses of his mind. He wanted to forget her, forget the way she made him feel. That's why he turned to the bottle. That's why he let himself get lost in a sea of alcoholism. It was the only thing that numbed him enough to just exist without the constant pressure of his failure, of his loneliness.

But at the same time, he didn't. His time with her was too precious. The moments he shared with her were too important to him. He still cherished them. She was still apart of him, and no matter how much he hurt, he'd never want to let that part of him go. He had still longed for her, and he was still willing to fight -once he discovered there was a chance.

He felt conflicted. A feeling thoroughly familiar to him. Ever since the fake stars appeared in the sky and sister became a contractor there was constant conflict within his soul. He wavered between whether the contractors -no people he and Bai killed truly deserved it. Whether there was any of the loving girl he cared for left in his sister, and if he should kill the monster she'd become by ending her life. He pondered if his soul wanted to walk the path of the Black Reaper, the cold blooded killer and slave to the Syndicate, or the path of Li Shengshun, the shy fun-loving student trying to better himself and the world around him.

Though he found many answers after years of suffering, he still found himself face to face with clashing ideals, and he was tired of feeling conflicted. So what better way to silence the raging thoughts than to get plastered and make sure you stay that way? Soon enough the only thing left was his anger. Which was surprisingly a feeling more comfortable to him. It's also been with him almost all his life. The underlying resentment toward his sister's emotional neglect after everything he'd sacrificed for her had fueled it's start. As did Amber's betrayal since she'd been such a big part in his life at the time. Even though he'd let the Syndicate convince him that he was emotionless, there was still a hint of anger constantly surveying his essence.

He didn't mind being angry though. It kept him strong, kept him alive. His defenses were always up, physically and emotionally. If no one got in, they wouldn't see how torn apart and vulnerable he was. Whenever he got drunk, all his other emotions fell away and the anger was the only thing left behind. Nothingness and anger was the only combination he could get behind.

But he didn't need to rely on that anymore. He didn't need to avoid the feelings that had become such a big part of his life again. And now that he had a moment alone with her, a moment of reprieve, he felt everything he'd repressed the past two years. Every emotion he'd locked away burst forth with an amplified vengeance.

He felt the shivering chill of the sorrow he avoided once it completely registered that she was gone. The soul draining dread and bitter loneliness that he'd pushed down arose hand in hand. Regret and shame toward his alcoholism and blind aggressiveness reared it's ugly head. Yet, he could faintly sense the hope he wanted to feel once discovered he had a chance of saving Yin, and every encounter since.

With every sentiment flooding his senses, he began to shake, his shoulders rocking up and down violently. His face became distorted in pain and his heart began to pound. He wanted to cry, he shut his eyes tightly and tried to push the tears out. But he just couldn't. He wanted to let everything out, to let everything wash away with his tears but they were locked somewhere deep within his psyche. He tried to cry out but all that emerged was something similar to a small choking sound.

It was overwhelming, and the flood of emotions came forth so suddenly that Hei was almost scared. It's been so long since he'd felt anything, even with Yin, things didn't happen all at once. He reached out and grasped her hand lightly. She was still so cold, too cold for his liking. But as he grasped her a bit tighter, he could almost feel the tingling warmth beneath her flesh longing to be ignited. He slid his index and middle finger up to her wrist to feel her slow pulse. Just it being there was enough, and he felt himself calm down.

Soon enough he found himself asleep.

In the morning, Hei felt better than he'd been in a long, long time. It was as if merely being beside her was enough to completely rejuvenate him. Of course he'd have to give some credit to the hard cold ground and the poorly insulated walls that seemed completely disinterested in keeping the harsh winds out.

He gathered Yin in his arms once again and set out to find some proper shelter, somewhere in the city. As he soon he exited the gate, he began to notice all the stares he'd been receiving. Finally he realized that he was carrying a limp, near-death-looking girl in his arms with the stoney look he always wore.

So he slid her onto his back to appear as if she'd just gotten tired so he decided to give her a piggyback ride. Throwing in a few Li smiles could hurt either, right?

At last they made it to a hotel. Hei felt much less self conscious about her waking up here. Normally he was willing to settle for something far below average, being able to rely on her understanding and support, but he wanted to show her how much he cared for her. He wanted to give her something she deserved. This was going to be their long awaited reunion, he wanted things to be decent for her. Though he was far from a perfectionist, in fact it felt odd being so stressed about things falling into place. He knew she was going to need a good roof over her head if she was going to recover.

He remembered the last thing she said to him during Izanami's awakening, before he lost her:"I will always love you Hei." He didn't respond, how could he? Of course he'd loved her too, but he wanted to wait before telling her. He was looking for a moment of peace, just a few solitary seconds of reprieve. But though the Syndicate was slowly deteriorating, they still managed to have a contractor around every corner. The pair couldn't catch a break! Even when they were safe Hei still remained paranoid, even going as far as to ignore Yin's reassurance despite his trust of her.

Soon enough the peace was disrupted, and they were once again thrust into chaos. The next thing he knew she was telling him she loved him. He wanted to be excited, to be warmed and moved by her confession, but he couldn't let himself get all worked up yet. She was saying goodbye, and he wasn't ready to let go. He didn't want to tell her then, he still had the hope of saving her. Saying it back would only mean that he accepted her fate, and he didn't.

For a long time he thought he'd lost his chance. Maybe he should have just gotten it off his chest and moved on. But now that she was here, he could start over. He could give this one more try.