CHIZURU

Things with Ryu were mostly the same as they'd been for years, and yet everything was completely changed. He still teased me, and I still hit him a little too hard sometimes. Most days we walked home companionably—it's not like we had a whole lot new to learn about each other—but other days we spent time with our friends as we always had. Even when we were out with a group we enjoyed the time with everyone, not needing to sit together all the time or anything.

But at the same time, I no longer took him for granted. It made me feel happy, somehow more alive, just to have him nearby.

Sawako put a finger on it at lunch one day…

"Chizu," Ayane said, "are you using a different makeup lately?"

"No, I hardly ever put on makeup."

She examined my face closely. "Huh. Did you get your hair highlighted?"

"No!" I ran one hand through it self-consciously. Ayane continued to stare at me, perplexed.

"She's a maiden in love," Sawako breathed. Her eyes sparkled happily for me.

I was about to scoff when Ayane jumped in. "Sawako, you're right! That's exactly it!"

And she wasn't joking. I felt my face turning red. "You guys are so full of it…"

But I think they saw some sort of outward manifestation of the happiness I felt inside. It made me feel like I was sparkling. Maybe I was.

It was only a few days after the festival that I decided to stop in at Ryu's place and get some ramen. As he slid the door open, I spied Pops wiping down a table. "Hiya, Pops!" I greeted as we entered. "Will you give me a discount if I promise to work here over summer break?"

"You know I can't say no to you, Chizu-chan," he answered with a smile. Ryu waited at the foot of the stairs while I hopped on a stool and Pops headed to the bar to take my order.

"Hey, Dad," he said. "Chizuru and I are dating now."

I blushed like crazy. Leave it to Ryu to just blab it out like that. But then, his cheeks wore an uncharacteristic pink tinge as well.

"Eh? Oh! That's great!" Pops seemed genuinely pleased. "It's about time." My jaw dropped. Like father, like son, I guess.

The scene at school hadn't changed much either, despite Kento's awkward and extremely embarrassing announcement. People were used to seeing Ryu and me arrive together, hang out together, or leave together, and since we avoided PDA for all our sakes, things didn't look a whole lot different to our classmates.

The difference was inside me. If Ryu was in sight, I felt an invisible pull toward him. And it was like whenever I laid eyes on him, my heart said, 'Awww.' If I weren't so in love and all, I'd be pretty sickened by my own sappiness.

Hiromi didn't show her face in our classroom again. Whether it was Ryu's ambivalence or my annoying interference or she just got tired of the whole thing, I never knew. I felt a little bad until she came back from summer break on the arm of a third-year soccer player. The little tart.

Ryu still hung out with the guys and slept on his desk, but he was a lot less tense, especially around me. When I asked Ayane about it, she explained that he'd probably had it pretty rough trying to hide his feelings around me for so long. It was a relief for him to get it out in the open finally. Those beautiful dark eyes wore contentment now, rather than those glimmers I'd seen before but hadn't been able to recognize for what they were: sadness or fear or frustration.

Once in a while I thought I saw a flicker of something when Tohru's name was mentioned, but I didn't know what it meant or if I maybe imagined it. I finally got my answer when Tohru and Haruka came to visit during our summer break. I had a sneaking suspicion that Pops had blabbed, and Tohru just had to come and see the spectacle for himself.

Pops closed up the restaurant early that afternoon so we could all spend some time together before they had to head back the next day. I was in high spirits, able to enjoy the married couple without an ounce of jealousy or regret now that I'd recognized Ryu as my true soulmate.

"Well, it's getting pretty late. I better head home now," I said as we finished up another card game. I stood and said my goodbyes, while my boyfriend remained stubbornly in his seat.

"Ryu!" I scolded. "You're not making me walk home alone, are you?" Tohru ribbed him for his unchivalrous behavior while he rose languidly and joined me at the door. I waved enthusiastically as we slipped out into the balmy evening air. Sighing, I grabbed his bicep and enjoyed the trip down his arm to take his hand as we walked.

It had felt funny at first—holding hands like little kids—but I loved the physical contact and soon forgot to be embarrassed by it. In fact, the most surprising thing about our new relationship was how I'd made a complete hundred and eighty degree reversal with regard to showing affection. I'd thought it would be weird to hug or kiss my childhood friend. But personal space and physical boundaries went out the window back in the days of hiding under bushes together and wiping mud camouflage on each other's faces. Now that my feelings had changed, it seemed I just couldn't get enough of touching him, holding him, kissing him. It was like my heart recognized all the time he'd spent loving me—when we could have been together if I hadn't been so dense—and it funneled all those years into the few moments we had alone.

So as we walked hand in hand, I chattered away, laughing about this or that incident in our card games, or about the way Haruka's competitive streak snuck through as she got more comfortable with us. I didn't notice Ryu being quieter than usual.

When we'd passed the convenience store, I tugged him around the corner into the shadows. This had become a habit of mine—playfully yanking him around the side of a building, or behind a handy tree, or into a deserted corner of the library where I could kiss him with abandon.

I did so now, pulling his head down and giving myself over to the music of cicadas and the feel of his arms around me. After a little while he murmured, "I better head back. They'll wonder what's taking so long."

I stole some more kisses, interjecting, "They know what's taking so long." I was rewarded with his warm chuckle.

After another blissful minute, he interrupted me again. "Chizuru." Undeterred, I trailed kisses along his jaw. "Was everything okay tonight?" he asked.

"Hm?" I wasn't paying much attention to his words.

"You didn't mind hanging out with Tohru and Haruka?"

I finally pulled away to read his face. "No, why should I?" I was genuinely lost.

His expression was serious, and that concern I'd seen before was back. "This is the first time you've seen them since we started dating. I wasn't sure if you might…" He trailed off, following his unfinished sentence with a heavy sigh.

"If I might what?" I thought I knew what he was hinting at, and it was getting me angry. "Might not want to be seen with you?" I gave his shoulders a shove with both hands. "Might regret going out with you?" Another shove. "Might still be wanting Tohru instead of you?" I grabbed fistfuls of his shirt in both hands, pushing my obstinate face in his. I was breathing heavily, and not for the reason I had been a few minutes ago.

He remained still, those dark eyes unafraid of my wrath but afraid of the truth. My heart couldn't stand to see him like that.

"You idiot," I said feebly. I wanted to whack him but instead threw my arms around him in a violent hug. I brought my lips close to his ear, rasping out. "I don't think about Tohru anymore. You're the one I want to be with." I took a breath, my heart pounding hard. "You're the one I'm in love with."

I squeezed him close, trying to express the strength of my feelings without words. I continued in a normal tone of voice. "So quit wasting time on being stupid when you could be kissing me."

I was relieved to hear him chuckle. He brought his face close to mine and I felt the smile on his lips as he said, "Sounds good to me."

Then he pulled me against him and kissed me the way I wanted him to…without thought, without reservation, and with all the passion he'd been storing up over the years he'd waited. For me.

I lost myself in his kisses, my hands caressing the short hairs at the nape of his neck, the strong throwing muscles of his back, his flat stomach. When my thumbs skirted under the waistband of his shorts, he inhaled sharply and suddenly grabbed my wrists.

"Don't," he said between rapid breaths. Speechless, I stared at him, watching the alarm on his face gradually subside as his breathing returned to normal.

"What… what's the matter?" I asked. He'd scared me and I wasn't totally sure what I'd done wrong.

"Chizuru." He looked down at where my hands were trapped and shifted so that he held mine in a supplicating posture. His thumbs stroked my knuckles affectionately, or nervously. "Some things will have to wait until we're married. Okay?"

Huh? Ohhhhhh.

My face flushed. I hadn't really considered what I was doing, what it might mean to him. As usual, I'd been letting my emotions take me wherever they wanted.

As I thought about it now, his statement didn't surprise me. Ryu is a very moral person. It's one of the things I admire most about him. With a swell of pride I recognized how—even in our most passionate moments—he'd always been completely respectful of me. It made me feel precious. And it made him even more special in my eyes.

My pensive silence must have been unnerving. "Chizuru, I don't…"

I interrupted. "It's okay," I assured him. "You're right. I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he said quickly. A guilty chuckle escaped and he leaned over me to whisper in my ear, "It was fun." I felt a little smug at that.

"But," he continued, meeting my eyes again. "We're not going to go there. And I won't be changing my mind. I hope you can respect that."

"I'll try," I said cheekily. In truth, it felt like the right thing to do. We could wait until…

"Hold on," I said, my eyes growing wide as I remembered exactly what he'd said. "Did you just ask me to marry you?"

"Heh." He mussed my hair playfully. "Not yet."

Not…yet? I liked the sound of that.

My good humor restored, I couldn't resist harassing him a bit. "Why don't you hang out at my house for a while?" I led him by the hand as I started walking again.

"I thought you said it was late…"

"Oh," I said dismissively, "I only said that so we could get out of there and I could have you to myself."

"Really?"

A self-conscious chuckle escaped. "Yeah, sorry." A pleased grunt was his response.

"So," I said brightly, "Want to come inside and check out wedding venues?"

He blanched, "What?"

"Most of them have web sites, so we could start looking online." His expression was priceless and made it difficult to keep a straight face.

"But… I said I wasn't… asking…"

I busted out laughing, whacking his arm repeatedly. He was so relieved he wasn't even angry.

"I'm just kidding," I said, wiping moisture from my eyes.

"Thank goodness," he sighed. A mischievous glint lit his eyes and he said, "Besides, you'll probably be the one to ask me."

"Only if you take too long," I teased.

"How long is too long?" he asked warily.

I busted out laughing again.

"What?"

I wrapped my hands around his arm and nestled against him, still grinning. "I love hanging out with you." He grunted and wrapped his arm around my waist as we continued walking.

We reached my porch and I pulled his other arm around me. "Now kiss me goodnight," I said jauntily, turning my face up to his.

He smiled and humored me.

"I love you," I told him.

"I'll never get tired of hearing that," he said in a rare moment of vulnerability. It made me blush.

I stammered, "W-well, go on home now before they all go to bed."

"Why do you think I'm stalling?"

I laughed. "I hate to tell you this, but I'm pretty sure they'll wait for as long as it takes."

He groaned. Giving me one more peck on the cheek, he said, "Goodnight. I love you."

As I watched him jog away, I said quietly, "I'll never get tired of hearing that."

==THE END==

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