A/N: short and sweet, really! Dedicated to GemNika, who wanted a liiiiiiittle more papa out there :)

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in-

"Whatcha doin'?"

Breathe out.

Acnologia cracked an eye open and was greeted by a shock of pink hair. On the outside, he remained blank-faced. On the inside, he was counting down the various ways he could put himself out of his misery all while remaining in his cross-legged position.

It was close to five in the morning. Didn't kids like sleeping in? The Dreyer brat was the sole exception to this rule, what with his drill sergeant of a father operating on a rise and grind lifestyle. Other than that? Every kid loved sleeping in. Clive's daughter (not that Clive knew that she was his child) was the resident champion of waking up at noon. The Fullbuster shithead could sleep for weeks if he was given the opportunity. Why was it that these gremlins went against the current?

Perhaps it was jetlag. Horrible, interdimensional jetlag that would go away if he crushed enough sleeping pills in their food. Not the most popular (or legal) of options, but…

"Meditating," Acnologia grunted.

"Oh. Can I?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"Sit down, shut up, and focus on your breathing."

Natsu did as he was instructed, scrambling to cross his legs up in the lotus like he was. Acnologia almost snorted. The kid was lacking the flexibility to do so, but his attempt was admirable. Granted, the way Natsu's ankle was angled meant that if he twitched wrong it would probably break, but it was an attempt nonetheless.

Acnologia closed his eyes and went back to his breathing, inhaling and exhaling so quietly that even a dragon would have difficulty hearing it.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in-

"This is boring!" Natsu complained. "I wanna train! Let's train!"

"This is training," Acnologia said. "Mental training. And it helps focus your magic. If you're not gonna sit down and meditate, then fuck off."

As a curious glint overtook Natsu's dark green eyes, a sense of dread shrouded Acnologia.

"What's a fuck?"

Every parent had their own method dealing with their child's bullshit.

Some employed the use of time-out chairs/corners/walls/mats/whatever godforsaken area of the house was within reach. Others opted for taking away their beloved objects. There were a select few who just threw their hands up in defeat because there's no way to reason with a child, they just don't understand.

Acnologia was different. In his day (and technically the gremlins'. They did hail from the same era but there was a generational gap) misbehaviour led to the biggest ass-whooping of the century - or week - because there was simply no excuse for not understanding instructions. In this age that was considered immoral. Acnologia himself couldn't care less, but knowing that Mavis would punt his ass to another dimension for even thinking about it had him reaching for other ideas.

"That." He pointed to the box in the corner. "Is the punishment box. If you gremlins fuck up, you're going in there."

Sting raised his hand. "Like time-out?"

"Yes."

"What's it say on the box?" Gajeel asked. Acnologia blinked in abject disbelief. "You can't...read?"

"Rogue can!" Sting exclaimed. "An' I think Wendy can, too!"

The Dragon of the Apocalypse ran a hand through his tangled hair. Was it possible to rip off someone's head if you pulled the hair hard enough? Probably. Was it possible to do it to yourself? Probably not. Never hurt anybody to try, though.

Leaving their Slayer illiterate was something he expected of Metalicana or Weisslogia. Maybe even Igneel if he were pushed enough but the so-called Dragon King had an ego big enough to rival his over-sized gecko-self and would see his Slayer being unable to read or write as a failure on his part, so Natsu should have been able to make out the letters; but the little shit stood stock-still, staring at the letters curiously.

Acnologia's job was keeping them alive. He had no business taking over their parent's roles.

"That says 'box'," Rogue said slowly. "I...think."

"That's a 'p'," Wendy pointed out helpfully.

"I'm almost ashamed to share the title Slayer with you," Acnologia muttered. "That's it, we're going to the Guild. I refuse to be associated with this mess."

Acnologia sorely wished he had thought to buy a child-leash.

It wasn't that the little shits ran off and he couldn't find them after; he had long ago learned to hyperfocus on certain scents or noises in a large crowd, and Slayers carried a distinct sort of ancient-magical trace that made it all the more easier, anyway. Beyond that most crowds tended to part a little for him out of fear. He was a virtual non-threat these days so long as no one bothered him, but the legends had done a lovely job of painting him as some sort of eldritch monstrosity right out of your worst nightmares and he was loathe to destroy that frankly flattering image.

No, the issue was that if the little shits were leashed then they wouldn't be running rampant and destroying everything like they were now.

"If you so much as light a spark near those shawls I will end you before you even get a chance to say your goodbyes," Acnologia hissed. Natsu pouted and let go of the gossamer pink fabric, trotting over to the next stall. Sting and Rogue were close on his heels. Gajeel was preoccupied with munching on a wrench he had found in the closet so he wouldn't wander far, and Wendy was too scared of the crowd to let go of Acnologia's pants.

"If you three idiots promise to keep away from the stalls and stay shut up for the two minutes it will take us to get to the Guild, I'll buy you all ice cream sundaes," he bribed them. Sting raised his hand. "What's an ice cream sundae?"

"Break the word down, stupid," Gajeel said arrogantly. "Ya turn ice into cream and then ya eat it on Sunday! An' he's lyin' because it's Monday!"

"Why are you lying?" Sting wailed. "I can't wait until Sunday! I wanna eat it now but you hafta wait until Sunday!" By now, the crowd's attention was solely on them.

Murder is wrong, murder is wrong, you can't get away with killing this whole crowd, murder is wrong, Acnologia repeated the sentence like it was the only thing keeping his feet attached to the ground. He couldn't physically kill the crowd, but he could damn well instill the fear of imminent death into them.

"Ice cream is simply a frozen dairy substance," Rogue said quietly. "There is no stopping when you can eat it. A sundae is a type of ice cream."

Sting brightened. "Really? How'd you know?"

"It was on the lacrima-vision."

Acnologia was moderately impressed. He could vaguely sympathize with the culture shock (generation shock? Era shock?) that was old Fiore to new Fiore. It had taken him a while to adjust, but he had been older. He understood more. Then again, Makarov had always said kids were like sponges so it stood to reason that the gremlins would adjust quicker.

Well, one of them, anyway.

"It's so big!" Natsu screeched once they hit the base of Fairy Tail. Acnologia couldn't help but wince at how bright it was. Since his last visit nearly a year ago, Makarov had added at least fifty new hanging pieces of cloth, each vibrantly coloured and stamped with the Fairy Tail insignia. They had changed the colours of the Guild name again; the giant blue letters were now a hot-rod red. He squinted. There was something off about the building...

"These doors are heavy!" Sting complained. Both he and Natsu had taken up the task of trying to pry open the heavy oak double-doors to no avail. Gajeel eyed the metal touches with a hungry glint in his eye. Acnologia followed his gaze to the handles and almost groaned.

Tails. Makarov had changed the handles to the shape of tails. Where the hell was he getting the funding for these unnecessary additions?

"Move," Acnologia ordered, grabbing the tails and pushing.

"Oh," Natsu whispered loudly. "It's a push door."

"You said to pull!" Sting countered.

"Please stop fighting," Wendy put in quickly. "I-eep!"

The Chaos Dragon held the chair that had been hurtling towards her head by one of the legs. The Guild had fallen into the sort of silence that he'd come to associate with death. Satisfaction flooded his chest. Even after all this time he could freeze a crowd by appearance alone. Humans always knew when to defer to the more powerful being and so long as he lived, that being would be him.

"Are those kids?" Macao Conbolt sputtered, the first to shake out of his stupor. "What the hell?"

"Acnologia has kids?"

"No way! How?"

"You mean who. Given how many there are…"

"I wouldn't mind tapping that. I mean, those tattoos? Meow."

Acnologia made a jerky 'follow me' gesture and the gremlins fell in line behind him. He spotted Gray Fullbuster and Cana Alberona sizing the new arrivals up, and some new blue-haired girl peered over the top of a ridiculously thick novel, only to squeak and duck her head when he passed her by. He snorted. What the hell was Fairy Tail letting into their ranks now? Little girls whose arms were so thin they struggled to hold up books? Next, they would be recruiting little blonde princesses to uphold their fairy image.

"This is a surprise," Makarov said once he stopped at the bar. Acnologia glanced down at the gaggle of Slayers. "Go."

Natsu, Sting, and Gajeel didn't have to be told twice. The pink haired tyke made a mad dash for the Fullbuster kid, eager to start something with the only male his age. Sting seemed content to follow his idol, and Gajeel was likely in it to initiate a brawl of some sorts. Luckily, Rogue stood nearby. If anything happened the little Shadow Slayer could put an end to it.

"Can I get an ice cream sundae, please?" Wendy asked. Makarov's face melted into something so sickeningly paternal that Acnologia almost gagged. This was why he refused to take on the role of father. What in the hell would people think if they saw the powerful, venerated Acnologia with that expression on his face? The dark reputation he had maintained all these years would go down the drain and there was no way he could bring it back to where it was without committing mass murder and that was supposedly illegal now.

God, he hated this era.

"Of course you may!" Makarov said cheerfully. "Just pop on up and Rima will make you one! What's your name, little one?"

"Wendy Marvell," she replied.

"It is very nice to meet you, Miss Wendy! My name is Makarov Dreyar and I'm the Master of Fairy Tail. Everybody here just calls me gramps, though, so feel free to pick that up, too!"

"Thank you."

"What happened to the other mage who kept the bar?" Acnologia asked, more out of wanting to get the old man's attention away from the kid than genuine curiousity. Makarov's face fell. "Romeo died on a mission."

"Ah." That explained the extra banners outside. If he remembered it correctly then Romeo had utilized a type of cloth magic. He supposed Macao was taking it hard. The two had always been fairly close.

"So tell me, Acnologia. Unless you've been hiding several secret trysts over the years, I suppose they aren't yours."

"I'm amazed his royal idiocy didn't come blabbing to you sooner," Acnologia muttered. Louder, he said, "Private matter. Upstairs."

Makarov nodded in assent just as the new barkeep, Rima, slid Wendy an ice cream sundae almost as large as her head. Acnologia could almost hear their necks snap as four sets of Slayer-sharp eyes focused on the treat. "You shits can have some too, but behave. I'll be back."

If he could feel sorry, he would for Rima as seven other children just about stampeded over demanding ice cream.

"This is troublesome," Makarov exhaled a cloud of black smoke. Acnologia watched the cloud turn into wisps that melted into the air. Because he was a man of few words it had only taken about fifteen minutes to explain the situation. Serena would likely come by sometime later in the week to fill in any gaps (and there were plenty) that needed filling, so there was not much else he could do besides sit there in silence.

"I take it you will be finding a large enough residence?"

"Regrettably. The Council is finding me a new one."

"We could always place them in the dorms," Makarov offered. Acnologia leveled him with a blank stare. "These kids don't know what ice cream is and you think it's a wise idea to let them live on their own? Don't try to play it off, Pippoco. I know damn well what those dorms are like."

"You seem awfully protective," Makarov teased. "Do I detect some paternal affection here?"

"The hell would you know about that? We all see Ivan. Besides, they're the last of my kind. I have an...obligation."

"To them or to Anna?"

Acnologia tensed. The third master took another deep lungful of smoke from his pipe. "I saw how your face changed when you spoke of her. Ex-lover?"

"None of your business," he replied curtly. The duo fell into a comfortable silence once more, punctuated only by the occasional sound of smoke leaving the lungs or the steady tapping of Acnologia's finger against the chair's clawed arm.

"Do you know what your son is up to?" Acnologia asked suddenly. "He seems to be invested in the idea of dragons. One in particular. Bijaleyan."

Makarov turned pensive. Exhaustion settled into the creases of his skin and for the first time since they had met, the Titan Mage looked as old as he was. "I don't know," he admitted, rubbing his forehead. "Ivan has always been a bit of a mystery. Now that he has Laxus…"

"That's what I'm talking about. He seemed to take a special interest when he learned that the gremlins were Slayers. Add in how public the success of Project Hybrid is within the Guild, and you can see why I'm a little iffy. Especially because Bijaleyan is a lightning dragon."

"Laxus…" Makarov breathed. "You don't think..."

"Not my kin, not my problem," Acnologia said bluntly. "Next issue. Education. These shits can't read, probably can't write. I know you hire a tutor out for the other brats to meet the educational requirements set by Fiore. Take them into the program."

""Done. They'll need to join the Guild, of course, otherwise the expenses are coming out of your pocket," Makarov said. "The Free Education Act covers public schooling with the exclusion of university, and it covers children housed solely within Guilds if they cannot, for any reason, attend regular schooling. What should I sign off for them on the paperwork?"

"They traveled through time and are therefore quite uneducated," Acnologia responded dryly. "Make something up for all I care. They came from Desierto. Who knows."

"Reasonable. Shall we go down and initiate them?"

"Do I have a choice?"

Chaos did not even begin to describe the state of the Guild Hall.

It was like someone had taken every tub of ice cream in storage and smeared all available surfaces in it. Including humans.

At the center of it all were Natsu, Gajeel, Gray, and Sting, rolling around and attempting to drown one another in the treat. Cana was busy scooping bits of raspberry ripple off her arms and popping it in her mouth. The blue-haired girl from earlier was safe from the chaos, having ducked for safety behind the nearest upturned table. Rogue was nearby, looking like he was in pure bliss as he chowed down on the tub of double-chocolate fudge, and little Wendy was tearfully rubbing away at the mango delight staining her new dress. When she looked up at him, her lower lip wobbled. "I-I'm s-s-sorry! I g-got the dress you b-b-bought me d-d-dirty and t-t-they fought and I-I-I-!"

Makarov laughed. "Welcome to Fairy Tail, you little brats! What colour do you want your stamps and where do you want them?"

"Bath," Acnologia snarled. "Now. After you get stamped, we're going home and I'm shoving all of you in the punishment box at once I don't care how fucking cramped it gets."

A/N: really short, tbh, but just a groundwork chapters. I'm pretty tired, I shoukd go to bed...read, review, favourite and follow!

-touko