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Chapter 4:

Welcome to Alabasta

It seemed like a normal day on the deck of the Going Merry. Zoro was napping, Nami was plotting their course, Sanji was interrogating Luffy about their missing food supplies...wait, what?

"C'mon Luffy," the blond chef huffed as he glared down at his nervous looking captain. "I properly divided the food supplies to last us til Alabasta, yet food keeps disappearing every night. If you're not responsible, then who is?"

"I seriously don't know what you're talkin' about," a sweaty and shifty eyed Luffy mumbled while whistling out of the corner of his mouth.

Sanji's visible eye twitched as he grabbed the rubber man by his face and growled, "Don't even try to make any excuses, you're a terrible liar."

Luffy refused to meet his cook's eye as he glanced off to the side. However, as he did so, he let out a soft belch. Sanji, instead of snapping, let go of Luffy's face and said calmly, "Hey, is that some leftovers I see stuck to your mouth?"

"CRAP! IT'S STILL THERE?!" Luffy cried out in panic and he searched his face for the treacherous morsel.

"SO, IT WAS YOU!" Sanji bellowed as he sent Luffy flying with a kick. Sanji turned to appeal to Nami in buying a refrigerator with a lock on it as a smoking Luffy lay on the deck. Meanwhile, Usopp, Carue, and Chopper were fishing off the side of the Merry, covertly eating some of the food they helped Luffy 'acquire.'

"We should really catch something, for Sanji's sake at least," Usopp stated after gulping down what he had in his mouth. Carue and a sweating Chopper nodded in agreement, hastily trying to destroy the 'evidence'. They weren't quick enough, however, as Nami noticed them and proceeded to brain the trio with some well-placed punches.

As he lay groaning next to a still floored Luffy, Chopper's sensitive nose picked up a scent coming from his captain's mouth and he promptly paled under his fur in existential terror when he recognized the smell. "Luffy," he whispered with no small amount of dread, "please tell me you didn't get into Naruto's ramen stash!"

Luffy blinked in confusion as he looked over at his new doctor. "Um, I think I might have snagged a packet or two. Why?" he asked innocently.

Chopper then got on his knees and looked to be praying. "Oh, you poor fool. You've doomed us all!" the reindeer doctor bemoaned as he mentally counted down in his head from ten.

"Huh? What do you-?" Luffy began before Chopper's countdown reached zero and the door to the food supplies was nearly blasted off its hinges.

Out of the darkness rose a demon straight from the pits of hell, and it had a cotton tail while staring with eyes of blue flames. The demon stalked forward and said in a voice colder than a glacier. "Who. Stole. My. RAMEN?!"

Without any hesitation, everyone pointed to a confused looking Luffy who had pulled himself up into a sitting position. He soon found his assistant animal-doctor-guy standing before him, his expression no longer apocalyptic but had this eerie calm about it. Like the eye of the storm. "Luffy," Naruto began in a voice that sounded deceptively friendly, "you didn't by chance take some of my ramen without permission, did you?"

In the deepest, darkest parts of Luffy's subconscious, the part that actually had any form of self-preservation and rationality, was screaming at the straw hat wearing pirate to lie, to deny it, to run, anything! Sadly, the message was buried under his diamond hard density. Luffy sheepishly laughed while scratching the back of his head and said, "Ah, yeah. Sorry about that, Naruto."

Those with less...shall we say obliviousness…to them swore they saw the image of the Grim Reaper rise behind the rabbit Zoan. However, as soon as the image came, it vanished. Naruto said with a cheerful smile, "Oh, well, no harm done. Say, Luffy, do you know what happens when you put your tongue against metal in the cold?"

Luffy cocked his head and squinted his eyes before shaking his head. Naruto's smile, if anything, got wider, showing all his razor-sharp teeth and oversized incisors. "Would you like me to give you a visual demonstration?" the user of the Hop-Hop Fruit asked.

Luffy grinned and said, "Sure!"

Said grin was promptly wiped off his face as Naruto dug his gloved fist into Luffy's mouth. "GAH!" the rubber man tried to squirm away, but the rabbit man's grip was too tight. Pulling on Luffy's elastic tongue, Naruto walked over to Merry's mast and, with practiced ease, tied Luffy's tongue around the mast in a constrictor knot. Naruto turned towards his captain, the still cheerful smile on his face.

"It might not be the same thing, but I think you get the general idea," Naruto said as if discussing the weather. Suddenly, he was right in Luffy's face as said pirate tried unsuccessfully to untie his tongue. Jabbing a gloved finger in his face, Naruto said in a voice that belonged more to a demon than a rabbit/preteen, "Don't. Touch. The ramen." With that, Naruto went over to the area of the deck that contained Nami's tangerine grove. The navigator having previously permitted the boy a small corner of the garden to grow his own plants and vegetables. The crew could only stare after the boy in stunned silence before Chopper broke it with a weary sigh as he went into his Heavy Point and began helping his captain untangle his tongue.

"You're lucky," Chopper muttered as he worked yet all the crew could hear. "When Naruto caught me eating his ramen once, well, let's just say between him and an angry doctorine, I'd choose the doctorine any day!" he finished with a shudder, finally getting the muscle loose enough so it snapped back into Luffy's mouth. The other Straw Hats awkwardly coughed and went back to their business. Vivi, meanwhile, decided to educate the crew on more of the situation in Alabasta. Apparently, the leader of the organization they were going up against, Baroque Works, was none other than Crocodile, one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea. Not only that, but the man was considered a hero in Alabasta thanks to his help in ridding the land of pirate raiders. She then went on to explain the size of Baroque Works as the rest of the crew paid attention (save Zoro who fell asleep again).

There are thirteen agents who were paired with a female partner with similar strength starting at the top with Crocodile as Mr. 0 and his partner Ms. All Sunday. The five below Crocodile are called officer agents, most of whom have Devil's Fruit powers and carry out the most important missions. They have subordinate officers called Billions, who number 200 strong. Then are the frontier agents, who act as leaders to 1800 members called Millions and normally carry out bounty hunting jobs.

Luffy, meanwhile, only got out of this information that all he needed to do was kick Crocodile's ass and Alabasta would be safe. Nami, meanwhile, came to the correct conclusion that the officer agents would be gathering in Alabasta for their end goal of taking over the kingdom. Feeling confident that they'd be able to win, the rest of the crew went about their daily routine. While Luffy and Usopp went back to fishing (using Carue as bait), the doctor brothers decided to go practice with their new weapons. Several targets had been set up along the ship's railing, and both Zoan users stood a-little-ways apart from each other before blurring into motion. Between each of Chopper's hooves appeared a bundle of needles that he'd pulled from his medical bag. Rearing his arms back, the reindeer-human let them fly with each needle hitting important parts of the target.

Naruto, meanwhile, had a boomerang shuriken in each hand before crossing his arms and letting them fly out in opposite directions. The bladed curves flew out a ways before returning from their trip, each one slicing through the targets before meeting in the center and being caught by the rabbit-boy.
Nami, who had been watching between keeping an eye on the weather, let out an impressed whistle at the display. "Wow, you two are getting really good with those! And you've only started training with them a couple days ago. What's your secret?"

Both Zoan's stiffened slightly at that before Chopper was the one to answer with a stiff smile. "Well, when we were training under the doctrine, she'd sometimes throw stuff at us whenever we'd forget a step in a medical procedure."

"Or when she was hammered," Naruto piped up.

"Or when we forgot to put our stuff away," Chopper continued, one of his eyes starting to twitch.

"Basically, whenever she felt like," Naruto concluded, his eyes joining his older brother's in their twitching.

"Oookay," Nami began uncomfortably, remembering the witch doctor's bedside manners, or lack thereof. "But how does that-?"

"It helps," Naruto interrupted, "because we have enough second-hand experience with thrown weapons to pick up on it fast enough."

"Wouldn't that be kind of, I don't know, traumatizing?" Vivi piped up after she had finished manhandling Luffy and Usopp for using Carue as bait.

"You have no idea," the doctors said in sync with dead looks in their eyes. The princess and the navigator looked away awkwardly at this when Vivi noticed the steam rising from the ocean and pointed it out to the others. Nami informed them that the steam was a result of underwater volcanoes erupting and will sometime in the distant future form a new island. Most of the more...childish...members of the crew were amazed by that (and Sanji, who would have agreed with anything Nami said even if it was as something ridiculous as say 'the sun is purple'). At that moment, the amount of steam surrounding their ship thickened until it was like fog.

Unfortunately for them, said fog gave them zero visibility and smelled strongly of sulfur. Even with his eyesight and sense of smell cut off though, Naruto's sense of hearing was still second to none, and the rabbit boy could have sworn he heard another ship approaching. However, before Naruto could determine if they were in a danger of crashing or not, the other ship started moving away from them. The ship left the Straw Hats the most unusual of parting gifts. When the fog had cleared, Luffy and Usopp could only gawk at the odd man who was hanging from a still strung up Carue.

What was so odd about him, you might ask? Well to put it bluntly...he was a drag queen. 'He' wore a long pink coat over a ballerina's outfit, complete with tutu, ballet slippers, and swan shaped figurines on 'his' back. Not to mention 'he' had a thick layer of makeup covering 'his' face. There was no denying his gender, however, with the manly face and body. The caught cross-dresser was also surprised from this strange turn of events so much that he accidentally let go of the giant duck and fell right into the ocean, which the Straw Hats fished him out of. The flamboyantly dressed man thanked the pirates profusely for saving him, explaining he couldn't swim due to eating a Devil's Fruit. Usopp curiously asked which one, and the cross-dresser figured he'd give them a 'show' for his gratitude while he waited his crew to come pick him up.

And he started said demonstration by slamming his right hand into Luffy's face, much to the shock of the crew. Zoro was already pulling out his swords when the stranger told them to wait. And, much to their surprise, the man now was the spitting image of Luffy! Granted, he was still dressed as a ballerina, but besides that the resemblance was unmistakable from his voice to his body's shape. Using his left hand, the man touched his face and changed it back to his original appearance and explained that this was the power of the Clone Clone Fruit.

One by one, the transvestite used his right hand to copy each of the Straw Hat's likeness (save Sanji who was below deck at this time). When he got to Naruto, the doctor stared in wonder at his copied rabbit face asked, "Wow, you can even copy my appearance?! Does that mean you can copy Devil's Fruit abilities?"

The ballerina smiled as he answered, "Sad to say, all I can copy is appearances. And even then, I can't use them for much more than disguises. If I want to actually fight or something similar, I need to use my own shape for my 'Oh, Come My Way' Kenpo. Though my disguises are flawless, from their faces to their bodies~!" He finished this last statement by changing into Nami and unbuttoning 'her' top, causing the navigator to beat the holy hell out of the cross-dresser for flashing 'herself'.

With the cheering of Luffy, Usopp, Naruto, and Chopper, the man continued his performance showing that any face he touched in the past he could mimic. He then went through a small parade of faces, though when he got to the face of a middle-aged man with long black hair and a squared goatee, Vivi gasped in recognition. After his performance ended, the drag queen and the 'kiddie' members of the crew laughed and danced and joked around until the other man's swan shaped ship pulled up. However, when the men on the ship called the Clone Man by name, the Straw Hats were shocked to hear that he was none other than Mr. 2 Bon Clay of Baroque Works!

After he had left, Vivi profusely apologized for not realizing it was him, saying that she'd only heard of the drag queen assassin by his appearance...which was described to her exactly how he looked.
"Want me to give you an eye exam?" Naruto asked dryly, pulling out an eye chart from his medical bag.
Vivi, however, ignored the rabbit boy in favor of worrying that one of the faces Mr. 2 wore was that of her father, King Nefetari Cobra! This meant that Crocodile had access to an exact duplicate of the ruler for the kingdom he was trying to overthrow. The smarter and more analytical members of the crew were worried about these implications, however Zoro pointed out a good point: now that they met Mr. 2, they could set up countermeasures for him.

Naruto nodded as he added, "We also know he can't fight using our abilities, so it'd be hard to mistake him for one of us on a battlefield. Maybe something we can do if we split up is have everyone give a demonstration on what they can do so there isn't a shadow of a doubt who they are."

The other pirates nodded at this train of thought and Naruto gave a mischievous grin. "He also forgot to take two faces while he was here. First there's Sanji, who's still downstairs."

"And who's the second?" Usopp asked after doing a quick mental count of who all Mr. 2 copied.

Naruto's grin widened as his rabbit features receded into his human ones. "Me," he said simply.
The other Straw Hats sans Chopper starred in surprise at the now human rabbit boy.

Just then, Sanji came up saying, "Dinner will be ready in a minute Nami and Vivi~!" he then noticed Naruto and asked in confusion, "Uh, where did the kid come from?"

Naruto gave the chef the stink eye as he said, "It's me, Pervy Cook."

Zoro snorted at the nickname the boy gave his fellow blonde and Sanji's visible eye widened as he gasped, "Naruto?! Wow, completely didn't know you even HAD a human form! I mean you DID say you ate a Devil Fruit and all, though honestly, before you told us about your Devil Fruit, I figured you were either like Chopper who was a normal reindeer before eating his fruit which would mean you were a normal rabbit, an experiment the old witch made, or the love child between one of those shitty Laphan's and a human!" He then adopted a thoughtful look, "Though with those whiskers on your face, I guess it's still possible. That would make you half Laphan before you became a full-on rabbit with the fruit. Or even..."

A tic-mark appeared on Naruto's forehead as Chopper face-hooved with a groan, "Oh, NOW you did it."
Naruto then adopted an angelic smile that instantly gave off bad vibes as he called out in a sing-song voice, "Oh Sanji~!"

"Yeah?" the chef asked warily.

In the next instant, Naruto was right up in his guard in full rabbit form and his hand drawn back in his signature attack. "RABBIT PEACE!" he roared as he slammed his fist into Sanji's abdomen.

"AAAAAAaaaaaahhhh!" Sanji screamed out as he was sent flying into the distance.

"GO SOAK YOUR HEAD, PERVY CHEF!" Naruto called out to him as he turned back in a huff. He then noticed all the crew giving him surprised looks. "What?" he asked. The Straw Hats wisely decided to go back about their business as they waited for Sanji to swim his way back to the Merry.

A few days later, the Straw Hats encountered a Sea Cat (which Vivi prevented the crew from eating via blunt force trauma to the head), which was apparently a sign that they were approaching Alabasta. The crew then noticed a blockade of ships with the Baroque Works symbol on them were in their way. They began preparing for if they ran into Mr. 2 again as Nami expertly navigated them around the blockade without having to fire a single shot. Dipping into the brother doctors' medical supplies, the crew tied medical tape around their left arms to indicate they were who they said they were. Along with Naruto's suggestion, they were prepared for any impostor.

Usopp tried to give a shaky pep talk to the crew (which was largely summed up as run the hell away if the situation was too dangerous) but was quickly overshadowed by Luffy's confident speech that the things on their left arms would mark their friendship. He then kind of killed the mood by saying they needed to find a restaurant first and then head to Alabasta. They tried, they truly, truly tried, to get Luffy to get his priorities straight. Of course, the second the Merry docked, Luffy completely ignored said instructions and ran off to find food.

"Damn, didn't know rubber could move that fast," Naruto whistled as he eyed the dust cloud Luffy's departure caused.

"That's what she said!" Chopper giggled into his hooves. That got the brothers into a laughing fit until Nami quieted them by way of introducing their heads to her fist.

"Will you two be serious?! We already have one man-child to look after, we don't need any more!" she then sighed, "Luffy's completely clueless about the bounty placed on his head. I wish he'd pay attention to details like that, especially in a country as large as Alabasta!"

Zoro shrugged indifferently. "Just leave him be. For now, we should go and eat something as well. We can think about all that stuff later."

Vivi then gasped and then pointed out a very distinctive ship not far from theirs. Apparently, it belonged to Mr. 3 who they had encountered shortly before arriving at Drum. This was a cause for concern, as it meant that their enemies could very well be in this city. Keeping their eyes open, the crew went to resupply at the market. Sanji was soon swooning over Nami and Vivi thanks to the clothes he bought for them, which made them look like exotic dancers. The guys were dressed in more practical clothing, yet Chopper and Naruto didn't seem to care much about their state of dress given they were too busy trying to plug their noses from the overwhelming smell of the many perfumes Nano Hana was known for.

"Most days I love my powers," Naruto groaned as he attempted to use his scarf as a filter, "then there are days like this when I realize they're truly 'Devil' fruits!"

"Do dink dat's bad?" Chopper moaned as he desperately tried to cover his nose with his hooves. "Dry habbing a bose like mine 24/7!"

Nami, of course, decided to tease the two animal themed doctors by spraying some more perfume on herself, causing Sanji to continue fawning over her until Zoro dryly asked him if he was retarded. Naruto growled as he got up, brushing the sand off his new clothing. While he still had his gloves, scarf, and large hat, Naruto had traded his black track suit for a Perahan tunban that was orange with black stripes. A hole was cut in the back for his tail, but other than that he'd pass for a regular civilian fully dressed. Naruto marched up to Nami before swiping the perfume from her and flinging it as hard as he could down the street. The bottle flew and unfortunately smacked into their captain's head, who just so happens was running from the Marines...wait, what?!

"Hey! What hit me?!" Luffy cried out looking around. He then spotted his crew and, like a dumbass, ran up to them with the Marines still hot on his tail. This in turn had the Marines recognize them as Straw Hats and began to give chase. A white-haired Marine seemed to shoot out a fist made of smoke before it was intercepted by an orange hat wearing shirtless man who had flames licking his body. Luffy seemed to recognize the stranger who helped save them and the man, who Luffy called Ace, greeted him in turn.

Ace stated he'd catch up after he held off the Marines, allowing the Straw Hats escaped to their ship.
Once they reached the ship, Vivi gave her loyal duck friend an important assignment: deliver a letter to King Cobra detailing all she knew regarding Baroque Works and Crocodile as the crew sailed up the river to the next city where they'd go to meet with the rebel leaders and hopefully end the conflict before it began.

Carue agreed with a quack and ran into the desert with his namesake's speed. Back on the Going Merry, the crew made a startling discovery. Ace, the man who helped them, was actually Luffy's older brother! Luffy informed them that Ace was also a pirate who had left for the Grand Line before him, and that he was strong enough to beat Luffy even before the Fire Man had eaten a Devil's Fruit! Luffy confidently stated he could beat him now, but he was soon eating his words as Ace knocked him over when he leaped onto the deck.

Ace introduced himself and asked Luffy and co. if they'd like to join him on the Whitebeard Pirate's crew. Luffy of course refused, to which Ace just laughed off saying that Whitebeard was the greatest pirate he'd ever known. The Flame Man then stated he'd be helping Whitebeard become the Pirate King over Luffy, to which Luffy confidently replied he'd just fight him. Ace just smiled in return, and after denying Nami's invitation to stick around gave Luffy a piece of paper saying it'd help them find each other again. Ace then went to his own ship, a small yellow thing that looked like a surfboard with a motor attached to it. He then told the Straw Hats he was hunting down a man who betrayed the Whitebeard Pirates by killing a crew mate, and since Ace was the man's commander it was his duty to hunt him down. That was when he mentioned that the man was now calling himself Blackbeard.

"Hey, bro," Naruto whispered out of the corner of his mouth. "Isn't he the name of the creep…?"

"Who attacked Drum? Yeah, I think so," Chopper nodded in agreement with a dark look on his normally cheerful face. While the brothers were thankful that the pirate's attack had driven Wapol away for a time, as doctors it infuriated them the amount of damage the man and his crew had caused to their home island.

Ace bid farewell to the crew and his brother, promising that they'd meet again in the New World. The man then turned his feet into flames which started the engine on his ship, causing it to speed off into the distance. With his sensitive hearing, Naruto could make out the sound of burning and breaking wood as well as screams a few minutes later.

"Welp, I guess we won't have to worry about Baroque Works sending in reinforcements anymore. Thanks Ace," he murmured to himself with a sharp toothed grin. After getting changed into their desert attire (Sanji bawled like a baby when the girls put on an additional layer of clothing), the crew then began plotting their course of action. By following the Sandora River, the crew would dock at a city called Elumalu and cross the desert to reach the Yuba Oasis. Vivi emphasized that she hoped to end this peacefully by talking to the leader of the rebels and ruining Baroque Works' plans.

The city of Elumalu turned out to be a ghost town despite being formerly known as the green city.
Shortly after the crew landed, a strange animal that looked to be a cross between a seal and a turtle popped out of the beach near them. Vivi explained that they were called Kung-Fu Dugong, and their name soon became apparent when Usopp got too close to it and ended up getting the tar beat out of him. Seeing this, Naruto grinned excitedly. "Here we go!" He laughed while cracking his knuckles. "I haven't had a really good fight since we left Drum! Here's hoping this guy puts up more of a fight than the Laphan's or that Pawn guy did."

"I think his name was Chess, Naru," Chopper interjected.

"I know what I said," the rabbit doctor replied smoothly.

"Did you know Luffy already beat the Dugong?" his brother deadpanned.

"Huh?" Turning, Naruto saw Luffy standing victoriously over an out cold turtle-seal. "Dammit Luffy! I basically called dibs! Respect the dibs man!"

The Straw Hats then found themselves getting ready for the track into the desert and quite a few rations lighter. Apparently, by defeating the Dugong, the aquatic mammal had decided to become Luffy's disciple with the rest of its herd joined in. They were insisting on traveling with the crew into the desert because of this, but because of how difficult it would be to travel in a desert with over a dozen Dugong in tow it took Chopper's smooth negotiation skills to bribe them into staying for food. Though still bummed that he couldn't get to spar with anyone, Naruto did challenge a few of them to a fight once their business in Alabasta was over, to which more than a few agreed.

As they traveled, Vivi told them of the reason behind the rebellion which had to do with a three year long drought that has been sucking the majority of the kingdom dry. Blame fell on the royal family when it was 'discovered' that a substance called Dance Powder was being shipped to the palace. This powder can cause rain to fall in the area it is used but at the price of taking all the rain from the surrounding areas. Naturally, this was all a set up planned by Crocodile and Baroque Works.

Naturally, this pissed off quite a few members of the crew when they saw how upset it made Vivi seeing how her country was falling apart thanks to the Warlord. After relieving some tension on the abandoned buildings, Luffy declared that they needed to hurry so he could kick Crocodile's ass, a sentiment shared by the others. As it turned out though? Traveling through the desert was very, very hot. It was bad for most of the crew, but the two Zoan's of the Straw Hats had it the worst due to both their fur coats and living their entire lives on a winter island. It had gotten so bad, that Naruto had went with his human form while Chopper was laid out flat on a makeshift sled being pulled by Zoro.

The reindeer-human would have turned into his full human form as well, but it was still too furry for their current environment. "Vivi, no offense to your family, but whoever decided that it was a good idea to build a kingdom in the middle of this hellhole is a complete and utter fucking moron!" Naruto panted out as he took off his hat to wipe some of the excess sweat off his forehead.

"Watch it, you shitty rabbit-brain!" Sanji snapped at his fellow blonde before turning to the princess and said, "Though you do seem to be holding up pretty well, Vivi."

"Well, I was born and raised in this country," Vivi replied with a shrug.

The heat was also getting to the others and tempers were starting to flare. When Luffy tried to sneak nearly a gallon of water in the form of a 'sip' with his rubbery cheeks, it nearly escalated into a full-on brawl between Luffy, Sanji, and Usopp. This was broken up by Vivi, who warned them that fighting would just tire them out faster. The group agreed to stop for food and rest at the next rock they passed, and Luffy was left carrying the bags after a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors. After what felt like hours, Usopp spotted a rock in the distance with his sniper's eye. Eager for a break, Luffy seemed to catch his second wind and nearly broke the sound barrier with how fast he moved despite carrying all the supplies.

Seeing this, Naruto let out a sigh as he muttered, "This is gonna suck." He then went back into his rabbit form and got ready to run after his moronic captain.

Noticing this, Zoro called out, "What are you doing, Naruto?"

The preteen leveled the first mate a flat look. "Do you honestly trust Luffy alone with all our supplies for longer than a minute?"

Zoro paled at the implication and shouted out, "What are you waiting for?! Run rabbit, run!"
For some reason, Naruto couldn't help but think the word 'title drop' before shrugging it off and complying by running after his captain with matching speeds. Fortunately, while sand was a bitch to get out of his clothes and was hot as hell, the consistency of it was similar enough to snow that Naruto had no trouble speeding along. He soon came upon Luffy who had just reached a large rock formation and was collapsed in the blessedly cool shade when they noticed something peculiar at the same time. Namely several herons who were sprawled across the nearby sands that looked as if they'd been either roughed up or sick.

Luffy naturally panicked while Naruto got into doctor mode. "Luffy, hand me one of the canteens, asap!" the rabbit man barked as he got out a clean rag from his medical pouch.

Running up to one of the birds, Naruto knelt as Luffy came up beside him. Taking the canteen, his captain handed him, the co-doctor of the Straw Hats poured some of the cool water on the rag and began gently wiping the sand and dirt from the bird to get a better assessment of its injuries before treating it. However, when wiping the dirt and grime away, Naruto noticed that there weren't any visible injuries and that the dirt was just that, dirt. No bruises, not lacerations, no broken bones, no nothing! Growing suspicious, Naruto cocked one of his long ears and placed it to the bird's chest. One of the benefits of being both a rabbit and a doctor? No need for stethoscopes. Listening in, Naruto heard the bird's heartbeat. It was strong and clear, though it was a bit fast like someone who was afraid of being caught...Oh, son of a bitch!

"Luffy," Naruto said in an even tone as he stood up and brushed the sand off his clothes.

"Is the bird gonna be okay, Naruto?" Luffy asked anxiously.

"Oh, the bird seems fine, though I doubt that will be the case when we ask Sanji for a nice dinner of cooked poultry," Naruto finished with a dangerous grin.

All the birds, while still maintaining their facade of being 'helpless', were now starting to break out in a nervous sweat. Luffy at first seemed confused before the thought of food overrode his thinking process and a line of drool started dripping from his now gaping mouth. "That sounds yummy!" he finally said through his saliva.

Naruto nodded as he noticed the birds were now sweating at a level some would deem dangerous to do in a desert. Still speaking casually, Naruto continued, "Why don't you go back to the group and get him?"

"Right!" Luffy agreed before disappearing in a cloud of dust.
The moment his captain left to get their chef, Naruto turned back to the birds and cracked his knuckles.

"Now, would you feathered rats prefer to be roasted, baked, or broiled? Of course, I'll have to tenderize you all first!"

The birds seemed to have a silent conversation before one of them, presumably the leader, squawked out, ("The jig is up! Book it!")

With that, the birds leaped to their feet and ran off as fast as they could from the surprisingly menacing rabbit boy. Naruto chuckled as he went back to the supplies and grabbed one of the barrels of water, taking a sip of the cool liquid before saying, "I guess if this whole pirate/doctor thing doesn't pan out, I could always try acting. That was fun!"

Shortly after, the rest of the Straw Hats arrived and Luffy was disappointed to see his potential bird feast had flown the coop. Vivi apologetically explained that those birds were called 'Swindle-Herons' who pretend to be hurt to steal supplies from unsuspecting travelers. Fortunately, Naruto could see through their ruse and prevent their stuff from being stolen, though Luffy was still bummed about how he was nearly tricked and how he missed out on a good meal.

Naruto was about to turn back into his human form to better weather the heat when his sensitive ears picked up a nonhuman voice calling out, "Help! For the love of all that is sexy, help!"

At first, Naruto was about to leave the voice, figuring it was just nature taking its course, but as the screaming continued, Naruto's slight hero complex took hold. "Chopper, can you come with me for a moment? There's something I wanna check out."

The reindeer Zoan groaned before getting out of the comfortable shade and following his brother out into the hot sand. Fortunately, they did not have to go far, and the source of the screaming came to them. A camel with prominent eyelashes was running for its life from a lizard nearly as big as the Going Merry! Without a moment's hesitation, both Naruto and Chopper got into ready stances as the camel ran pass them. Naruto leaped into the air over the oversized gecko while Chopper went into his 'Heavy Point' and wound his ham sized fist back.

"Guillotine Crush!" they shouted simultaneously as they struck. Chopper gave the lizard a powerful uppercut while Naruto crashed into the back of its skull with a falling 'Rabbit's Peace'. The force of the blow caused the reptile to clench its teeth so hard they shattered and its eyes nearly popped out of its skull. With some help from the Monster Trio, the crew had a fresh supply of what Vivi called Sandora Monitor Lizard meat, with a shocked yet grateful camel in tow. The desert heat worked in their favor for once as the meat was easy to cook on the hot rocks. Naruto, having gone back to his human form, gladly tried some as he was less vegetarian minded when not covered in fur. Meanwhile, Luffy decided to try riding the camel as it would make travel across the desert much easier. It appeared the camel had other plans, however, as he threw the rubber man off with his teeth.

"I thank you for saving my life back there, as I'm a harmless camel passing by," the camel spoke, though to anyone who wasn't part animal it just sounded like a regular camel's grunts. As such, it fell on both Naruto and Chopper to act as translators. "Now, although I do give you humans a ride, I'm the type who prefer the company of the female persuasion."

This of course led to a monumental beat down as the males of the crew realized they were being snubbed. Nami, of course, was not at all offended by the camel's ploy of...let's be polite and call it chivalry. She gave the camel a suggestive smile and thanked him for his generosity. The orange haired thief then wondered what to call the camel.

"Idiot," Luffy suggested.

"Dumbass," Sanji huffed around his cigarette.

"Duffus," was Usopp's suggestion.

"How about 'Eyelash'?" Nami asked with a tone of finality, to which the camel happily agreed.
As Zoro muttered about that being the weirdest suggestion yet, wondering how she arrived at that name, Naruto turned to his brother and said in a tone so low that the humans couldn't hear, "Am I the only one weirded out by the fact that a camel is trying to flirt with our human navigator and said navigator is encouraging it?"

Chopper nodded at his little brother's words. "Humans are weird, but that camel is even weirder," he agreed.

"At least the Pervy Cook's the same species. I don't even wanna know what that camel is thinking," Naruto said with a shudder.

"Maybe a reverse furry?" Chopper suggested and there was an awkward silence as both boys pondered this statement.

"Let us never speak of this again," Naruto said in a cheerful voice.

"Agreed," Chopper said with equal fake cheerfulness.

"Let's go, Eyelash!" Nami called out as she and Vivi ran far ahead of the group on the Pervert Camel, causing the others to struggle to keep up. After several more hours of wandering through the desert with the sun beating down on them and Luffy hallucinating from eating a toxic cactus (to which Chopper made good use of his needle throwing practice to sedate his crazed captain), night finally began to fall and with it the temperature. While the two Zoan's were fine in the sub-zero temperature, the others needed to find shelter quick.

Thankfully, even with a sandstorm brewing up, they could finally make out the city of Yuba. To their horror, however, the city was right in the center of a titanic sandstorm that made any ones they previously encountered look like a gentle breeze! Once the sandstorm subsided, the crew was greeted by the site of a ghost town instead of a lively oasis that Vivi had described. The only person there was a thin, haggard looking man who was busy trying to dig for water.

When they asked about the rebellion's whereabouts, the old man acted hostile as he finally spat out that the rebellion had moved their operations to Katorea after the frequent sandstorms had dried up the village's water three years ago. When asked where Katorea was, Vivi shakily answered that it was by Nanohana, the village they had sailed from! The old man had recognized Vivi's name and shocked her by revealing himself to be Toto, the father of her childhood friend Kohza who was also the leader of the rebellion. He revealed that he still had faith in the king and he begged her to stop the rebellion. He had tried himself, but no one in the rebellion would listen to him, his own son included. Now their supplies are running low and they are preparing for one last major offensive, no matter how suicidal it might be.

Vivi put on an encouraging smile, one that Naruto knew from his time in the orphanage was faked, and reassured Toto that she'd stop the rebels no matter what. That evening, most of the crew went into one of the many abandoned inns to sleep for the night while only Luffy and Naruto remained outside with Toto, who had resumed his digging for water. As Luffy went to talk to the elderly man, Naruto sat on the roof of the inn to gaze up at the night sky.

'There are so many stars,' the rabbit boy thought as he stared up at the many twinkling lights. 'You couldn't see these many stars in Drum, only snow and clouds.'

This right here was one of the main reasons he agreed to join Luffy and his crew. Sure, he would have joined anyway with his brother joining and all, but his reasons were a bit more complex than Chopper's. While he did want to find a cure for all diseases like Chopper did, he was even more interested in exploring the Grand Line. All his life, he'd been stuck on snowy Drum Island, never seeing the world outside of ice and snow.

He knew from the matrons at the orphanage that he'd been found in the wreckage of a ship shortly off the shore of Drum, and part of him had hoped to find out where he came from. Who were his birth parents? Were they still alive? Did they love him? These were questions that plagued most of his childhood before finding the Doctor and Chopper. Now that he was on the open ocean though...part of his old desire was starting to come back.

Breaking himself out of his melancholy, Naruto looked down and noticed his captain was helping Toto dig for water. Unfortunately, he was doing it in a way that was filling up Toto's own hole. Rolling his eyes, Naruto leaped down to join the two.

"Hey Luffy, what's up?" he asked the straw hat wearing Rubber Man.

Luffy looked up at him with a grin of a child who got to sit at the grown-up table, "I'm helping the old man dig holes!"

Naruto raised a fur hidden eyebrow as he noticed that his 'helping' was in fact causing more work for the frustrated Toto. Deciding that trying to explain this to Luffy would be like teaching Confucius to a monkey, Naruto reworded his question. "I can see that Luffy, though can I ask why?"

Luffy kept up his smile and said, "Cause this town's the old man's treasure."

Naruto was surprised by this for a half a second before remembering how Luffy had stubbornly defended the Doctor's pirate flag back on Drum. If there was one thing you can say about Luffy is that he always supports and respects a person's dream. Gaining a light grin, Naruto cracked his knuckles before offering, "Can I help?"

"Sure thing!" Luffy replied as he went back to his own ineffectual digging.

As previously stated, sand was of a similar consistency to snow and one of the perks of having the powers of a snowshoe rabbit? Amazing burrowing abilities! So, like an Olympic swimmer, Naruto dived into the sand and soon gallons upon gallons of sand was being tossed out of the newly formed hole. Unlike Luffy's though, Naruto's excess sand landed in a neat pile away from the other holes. In a matter of minutes, Naruto had dug over a dozen holes each over six feet deep. Luffy, not one to be outdone, picked up his own pace (finally listening to Toto's instructions and keeping his excess sand away from the other holes) and to the old man's amazement, the two pirates were able to complete over a month's worth of digging in only a few hours! Before long however, both boys grew tired from both exertion and from their previous trek through the desert and fell asleep.

The next day, Toto bid the pirates farewell and good luck in stopping the war. He also gave Luffy a gift: after the two boys had fallen asleep, Toto had kept digging and, thanks to their combined work, was able to find a small amount of water which he put into a personalize barrel for Luffy which he gladly accepted, promising to treasure it. The crew began their long trek to the rebel base, when Luffy made a surprising announcement.

"I quit," he said simply as he sat down at the base of a withered tree.

...I said it was startling, I never said it was eloquent.

As most of the crew questioned their captain's already questionable sanity/intelligence, Luffy explained his reasoning to Vivi. He wanted to 'kick Crocodile's ass.' He then elaborated that even if the crew could get to the rebels in time and Vivi was able to get them to stand down, it wasn't likely going to stop Crocodile. Plus, the fact was that they were pirates and their presence wouldn't be able to help matters with the rebels at all. The crew was surprised at their captain's moment of insight.

"He's got a point, Vivi," Naruto agreed as he pulled out a carrot that he'd been rationing and holding it in his mouth like a cigar (which was quite comical as he was in his human form now). "And besides, if Crocodile is this big mastermind villain you say he is, don't ya think he's got contingencies in case something like this happens? If I was him, I'd probably have spies in the ranks of both the royal guards and the rebels to stir up trouble in case it looks like the war wouldn't happen." When he noticed the stares most of the crew gave him for that oddly detailed plan, he shrugged, "What? I read a lot of comic books when I wasn't training or working as a doctor on Drum. Sue me."

"It's true, he did," Chopper nodded sagely before gaining a mischievous grin. "I especially remember the 'My Little Bunny' comics he'd read!"

Naruto's face turned red as some of the crew giggled. "Shut up! The story lines in that were great! Besides, Purple Cake was hilarious!"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night bro," Chopper giggled, only for Naruto to leap at him in full rabbit form and tussle with the human reindeer in the sand for several minutes before the seriousness of the situation returned.

Luffy then laid down the hard truth for Vivi: the world wasn't all sunshine and rainbows where everyone lived happily ever after. People would die in the coming conflict and that was the hard truth of the matter. He berated Vivi, saying that thinking she could save everyone, especially when their enemy was a Warlord of the Sea, was naive thinking. Vivi, not liking the brutal facts that the pirate captain was telling her, got into a violent scuffle, one which Luffy showed that he wasn't afraid to fight a woman as he didn't pull his punches on her. Luffy told her point blank that she didn't need to risk her life alone with this, that because they were friends the Straw Hats would be willing to risk their lives too. This brought Vivi to tears as she knew Luffy was right, that the best way to stop the fighting was to defeat Crocodile, but she'd been afraid of her friends getting hurt. That all changed when Luffy firmly stated that they'd risk their lives for her, their friend.

"Now," Luffy said seriously as he got up from the sand, "Tell me where Crocodile is?!"

Rainbase

"Y'know in hindsight? We probably should have seen this coming," Naruto sighed as he sat on top of a pile of knocked out Marines (all of whom had a peace sign stamped onto their bodies) munching on a carrot absentmindedly. After an agonizing trek through the desert again, the Straw Hats finally made it to the oasis town of Rainbase, a land unaffected by the drought and a booming casino district...along with being Crocodile's base of operations. They were barely there for an hour when Luffy and Usopp, who had left to get water for the crew, had returned abruptly with an entire squad of Marines hot on their tail!

The Straw Hats (minus Chopper who had left earlier to go to the washroom) were chased through the city and were forced to split up. Naruto had to deal with his own group of Marines and was now debating his next course of action. "Hm. Should I go to that Rain Dinners place where that Croc-bastard is supposed to be and wait for the others there, or try finding them myself? I haven't seen Chopper since before we split up, so maybe I should look for him first?" he massaged his temples before throwing a tantrum, inadvertently kicking the unconscious Marines beneath him in his flailing. "Argh, I hate this planning stuff! Chopper's always better at that then me!"

So, caught up in his pouting that he didn't notice the disguised Baroque Works grunts sneaking up behind him, having recognized his rabbit form from the pictures Mr. 2 gave them, and were preparing to ambush the second doctor of the Straw Hats when one made the mistake of cocking his pistol. One of Naruto's long ears twitched and he turned with a savage grin on his face, making the goons freeze in place.

"Thank God for distractions and making cannon fodder so stupid!" Naruto cried out happily as he leaped high into the air above the grunts. Before they could bring their weapons to bare, Naruto was diving towards them with the speed of a meteorite. "Rapid..." he landed in the center of the goons and finished his attack "...RABBIT PEACE!"

Hands flashing out like the bullets from a machine gun, every single one of the BW grunts was hit by a tremendous force. So, great was the attack power, that each of the would-be assassins flew out of the city and into the desert beyond. Satisfied, Naruto shook the dust off his gloves and sighed happily, "Ah, nothing like taking out your frustrations on morons! Now," here he sweatdropped as he said in a deadpan, "I have no idea where to go from here."

"Bro? What are you doing here? And why are you talking to yourself?" a familiar voice called from down the street. Naruto turned his head, finding his favorite reindeer trotting towards him in 'Walk Point'. Naruto gave a sigh of relief at his immediate prayers being answered.

"Chopper! Thank God, you're back! Things…took a crazy turn while you were away." Naruto said with a sheepish chuckle.

Chopper looked to his little brother before looking to the pile of knocked out Marines that he was sitting on, all groaning in pain with the mark of Naruto's signature attack tattooed on them. Chopper's eye twitched a few times before he gave Naruto a deadpanned look. "Two minutes…I was gone for two damn minutes! What in the hell happened!?"

Naruto hopped off the body pile to land on front of his brother, who was still in 'Walk Point'. "Hey, blame Luffy and Usopp! They're the ones who had a gang of Marines PLUS Smoker chasing after us!" Naruto finished with his arms extended to the sides but that only made Chopper even MORE irritated. The older teens head jerked to the left and right in disbelief before he looked up to the disguised rabbit.

"I-wha-HOW!? HOW did they do that!?"

Naruto stomped the ground. "I don't know, okay!? I'm just as fucking lost! They chased us and we all ran in different directions and I've just been sitting here wondering if I should follow them or wait a Rain Dinners for a group up!"

"Jesus Christ!" Chopper exclaimed, placing a hoof to his face and groaning in obvious irritation. This wasn't at ALL what he envisioned when he dreamed of sailing the sea with an awesome group of rag-tag pirates at all. He was still very much thankful that he's off Drum and is living out said dream but they just got done surviving for their lives from a damn desert! And now, after coming somewhere for them to get their bearings, proper rest, and stock up on more supplies, they're getting chased by Marines!? How was that fair in any sort of way!? Chopper gave a big sigh and looked to the people walking around.

"Okay…fine. As messed up as this might sound, I'm glad you're the one I found out of either of them. I know the two of us will at least work something out and whatever we choose, we'll just go for it all the way."

Naruto grinned and crossed his arms. That's more like it! Leave it to Chopper to begin working things out. "Alright! So…what's the plan Chops!?"

Chopper sweatdropped as he looked to his bro. "Naru, didn't I just say we'd work something out 'together'? Why do I have to do all the planning?"

Naruto kept smiling and gave him a look, making it glint in a devilish light. "So…you're saying you want my opinion on what we should do for a plan?"

Chopper was about to say something but remembered all the times he's followed through with a plan from Naruto…and none worked well at all. Ever. Not once. Chopper shivered as he still remembered that scar he received on one of his ass-cheeks from Kureha's scalpel throwing after Naruto's 'plan' to try and snag some sips of her plum sake a few years ago. It ended with a broken bottle of alcohol, her kicking, punching, slamming, and attempted maiming, along with some new scars in various locations that wounded the brother's pride every time they looked at them. Such as the one on the reindeer's butt.

"You know what? Yeah. I think I'LL make the plan instead. We should just try and find as many of the others as we can. We'll stick together, follow any of their scents that we might find but at the same time, should make our way to Rain Dinners." Chopper told the rabbit with a deadpan who just laughed and lightly patted his hat.

"Thanks, Chops! You're the best big brother ever!"

Chopper learned to never dance when Naruto said that specific complement. "Oh, no! You aren't going to hit me with that line again! Every time you did that back home, the doctorine would kick our asses afterwards because of something I let you talk me into!" Chopper yelled at him which had Naruto laughing loudly as they ran off. Tracking the others wasn't as easy as Chopper wished it to be since all the crew's scents were all over the place, with some getting mixed in with others. Soon they found themselves jogging through an alleyway where they met up with Sanji after a small harmless encounter with Tashigi.

Sanji took a drag of his cigarette and huffed out cloud of smoke before looking to the animal brothers. "Glad to see you two are doin' alright."

"Sanji, have you seen any of the others?" Naruto asked but the cook shook his head.

"You're the first two I found after we all split up. But if I had to guess, I'm sure that the others grouped back up at Rain Dinners…least I hope they did. I wouldn't be surprised if Moss Head was running the opposite direction from the place."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that sounds about right. Though, knowing Luffy, he's probably ran headfirst into a trap and dragged the others with him," he said with a deadpan.

Sanji took in a deep breath and blew out a large cloud of smoke in frustration. "Shit, that sounds like the rubber brain, alright. And my darling Nami and Vivi will be in danger if that's the case!" Sanji paced back and forth for a minute while the brothers tried to think of their own strategy before the suddenly cried out, "Wait, I think I have an idea!"

"Well what is it?" Naruto asked.

"Back in Little Garden, I talked with 'Mr. 0' using a transponder snail, so he knows my voice. If we can take out as many Baroque Works agents as we can around the casino, one of them's bound to have their own transponder snail. I'll then call shitty croc to lure him outside and once he's out, we'll block off the entrance to the casino and rescue the crew before he comes back."

"That's brilliant Sanji!" Chopper exclaimed with stars in his eyes.

"So, what will our jobs be?" Naruto asked, but immediately regretted it. The Zoans didn't like the look that entered Sanji's eye.

Later

"I swear I'm gonna kill that pervert!" Naruto seethed as he darted down the streets of Rainbase, over a dozen goons on his tail. He should've known that Sanji's 'brilliant idea' would've been one that made him look like the hero at the end of the day! Why say this? Sanji, Naruto, and Chopper took care of the Millions guards surrounding the front of Rain Dinners with Sanji the first part of the plan going off without a hitch: Him calling Crocodile with one of the goon's transponder snails and addressing himself as 'Mr. Prince.' After that, it involved Naruto and Chopper covering themselves up in concealing Alabastian Garb and running around Rainbase, causing as much mayhem as possible and having the new batch of Millions believe that either one of them was Mr. Prince. The trick worked it's best if one of them could lose the Millions only for the other to cause trouble somewhere away from the other. The main plan was to draw out Crocodile… which also eventually worked.

That was great!

This meant that Sanji was now able to infiltrate the casino and get to the area their friends were all trapped in…. while Crocodile was now also on his and his brother's tail's.
That was not great!

"Where the hell are you Mr. Prince!?" Naruto looked behind him to see Crocodile headed his way as a mist of sand. His face then formed out of the sand before he gave a grin and charged forward. "You're mine!"

"GAH!" Naruto yelled before he put on the speed and took off through the crowds of people, weaving through them with ease before he slid into an alleyway and dashed through the narrow passage. Luckily, Chopper was coming out of another alleyway in front of him, in 'Heavy Point'. They didn't say anything but high-fived the other exclaiming "Switch!" before Naruto ran into the alley Chopper came from.

Chopper, seeing the sand rushing at him, turned and bolted down the street. This cat and mouse game continued for a few hours before they managed to lose the sandy Warlord. They were now in the desert, making sure to get a safe distance from Crocodile and the city. They both breathed sighs of relief before sitting down in the sand to get some stamina back. The intense heat was something they still weren't really used to compared to intense cold for obvious reasons. Naruto and Chopper gave high-fives/hooves while noticing that the sun was setting.

"Holy hell! We were running from this guy for most of the day!?" Naruto exclaimed which had Chopper doing the same.

"Dammit! I hope Sanji managed to save the others! But now we gotta find 'em too!" He then thought of something else. "We should also get Eyelash! Can't leave him behind."

Naruto hopped up (no pun intended) to his feet and looked to him. "Sure, but how do you suppose we-" His ears twitched as he caught a repetition of noise coming from behind them. Chopper soon caught onto it too making them turn around, seeing a large mass of sand rushing towards them. When the cloud came closer, they saw a massive Moving Crab rushing at 'em. And on top of it was…what the?
"Eyelash?" They both wondered aloud, heads dipping to the side in a confused manner. Never in either of their lives would they expect to be rescued by a camel.

"Hey guys!" the perverted camel waved. "This is Scissors. He's a giant dessert crab and a good friend of mine. He offered to help us out!"

"Oi, Eyelash, where's the ladies at, eh? You promised me some sexy eye candy if I helped those humans you hooked up with!" Scissors asked in a seedy voice not outside of someone who spent most of their free time in porno theaters.

Both doctors gained flat expressions at this. "Are all animals in this dessert perverts?" Naruto wondered aloud.

"Looks like," Chopper nodded before shaking his head. "Anyway, we appreciate the assist! Now all we gotta do is find the rest of the crew."

Suddenly, a familiar if repugnant stench filled the air, causing both Zoan users to nearly gag. "Well, I'm guessing that means Nami's getting closer. Smart of her to use her perfume to tell us where they're at. Still stinks though," Naruto finished the last part in a grumble.

The brothers quickly got on board the crab with Chopper taking the wheel, so to speak, on the makeshift reigns he made out of some of the spare rope they had. Soon enough, the crab-riding trio found the rest of the Straw Hat pirates. While some of the crew (read Usopp) freaked out at the sudden appearance of the house sized crustacean, the others were thankful that the doctors were both able to find them and find a fast mount to Alubarna (though Luffy seemed like he'd rather use Scissors' steamed and with a side of melted butter). With that, they were off with the giant crab making good headway across the sands. It wasn't all smooth sailing, however, as trouble soon reared its ugly head in the form of a sandstorm.

One that took on the appearance of a familiar looking Warlord.

Naruto's eyes widened as he shook his head. "No way! How did he catch up so fast!?" He said, already knowing that it was Crocodile.

The enemy pirate captain's hook with sand trailing behind it, lashed out and grabbed Vivi around the waist, yanking her off the crab with her screaming loudly. The other's all gasped in shock with Zoro yelling for Chopper to stop the crap. Once it did, Luffy leapt from his position and grabbed the hook, swapping places with Vivi. Throwing her back to the crab, he was now the one being dragged off.

"Luffy!" Zoro screamed with Sanji gritting his teeth at his captain's usual behavior.

"That damn idiot!"

Luffy looked back to them and screamed out, "You guys go on ahead! Don't worry about me!"

"Are you crazy!?" Naruto yelled before he stuttered for a bit. "No, I take that back! Why are you so damn crazy!?"

Chopper's hooves gripped the rope controlling the crab tighter, understanding what Luffy told them but not willing to leave their captain behind. After a whole day of running away from this psycho, Luffy just wanted to fight him out of the blue!? How could he fight him anyway? Luffy didn't care about that though as he gave them another order.

"Make sure you deliver Vivi home! Safe and sound, you have to promise me!" He then gave one of his infamous grins showing how serious he was. Hell, he didn't even look distressed. "Good luck you guys!"

Zoro growled. "Idiot," he turned to Chopper, "Hey, let's go Chopper! Just keep going to Alubarna!"
Chopper nodded once, fully understanding that Vivi was top priority, not to mention their captain gave them direct orders.

"Right. Okay. Let's go crab!" He whipped the rope making them take off to Alubarna, hoping that Luffy would be alright against a Warlord. Usopp and Vivi were protesting, of course, about leaving behind Luffy but Nami and Zoro had full-on hope for their captain, sure that he'd win. Even their own lives were worth much less than Vivi's because of how serious the situation was in this country and only Vivi could stop this. This gave Vivi the boost in courage she had for this crew as she yelled to Luffy that they'd be waiting for Luffy to catch up to them.

The crew's journey was relatively quiet from then on, though they did spot a sandstorm in the distance where Crocodile and Luffy were fighting, causing the silence to be both tense and uncomfortable. Usopp tried passing the time by telling one of his tall tales about crabs to Chopper, who'd switched places with Naruto on the reigns. Zoro meanwhile was doing some improvised weight lifting by balancing Eyelash on the sheath of one of his swords. The tension continued until Sanji stated what everyone was fearing but no one wanted to say: that they were scared Luffy would lose. This in turn lead to Zoro and the cook getting amped up to fight, which Nami quickly put the brakes on via concussions applied to the two testosterone fueled guys.

While Chopper began treating the two meatheads from their not unjustifiable braining, reassurance on Luffy's victory came from Vivi, who assured them that Luffy was going to meet them in Alubarna. Usopp gasped out the irony that it was Vivi who was the most worried of the group while Nami dope-slapped her, reminding her to worry more about stopping the rebellion then for the Straw Hats. Though this did seem to alleviate the tension somewhat as the pirates got themselves pumped for the coming battle.

With four hours before the rebellion was supposed to start, however, the crew ran into something of a problem. Namely that Scissors couldn't cross the Sandora River due to his species being land based. This means that they'd have to try and swim the large river, which would be a problem in and of itself since the Devil Fruit users couldn't swim, as well as the fact they'd have several kilometers of dessert to transverse after crossing said river. This means that they'd never be able to reach the kingdom in time to stop the rebellion! Fortunately, Chopper came up with a plan to make some headway across the river. This plan involved three things: Nami, the revealing dancing girl's clothing that Sanji had gotten her earlier, and Scissors love of women.

As Scissors plowed ahead on all sex-appeal-fueled cylinders, both Sanji and Eyelash's minds broke at Nami looking like a more slutty Princess Jasmine from Aladdin. Naruto couldn't help the twitch in his eye as he watched the three males react towards Nami.

"Okay, the Pervy Cook I get. But why in the hell are Scissors and Eyelash like this? Nami isn't even their species for shit's sake!" he grumbled as he held onto the reins with all his strength to prevent them from going off course.

Chopper started to nod along to his brother's assessment before freezing and gaining a mischievous look in his eyes. Making sure to keep out of 'Rabbit Peace' range, Chopper said in a far too innocent voice, "Gee, I don't know bro. Didn't you kiss Hinata while you were all 'rabbit'-y?"

Naruto froze as he started following his elder brother's thought process before leaning forward so his hat shadowed his eyes and he growled in an ominous tone, "Chopper, if you finish that sentence, there will be no doubt of the cause of your death!"

Heedless of the implied threat, Chopper's smirk was approaching shit-eating territory as he continued, "Wouldn't that mean you and Hinata are something of a furry coup-GRK!"

Chopper's smartass comment was cut off via two vice like legs wrapping around his throat as Naruto kept his hands on the reins. "DEATH BY SUFFOCATION!" he roared out.

Naruto was halted in his attempts to throttle Chopper when Scissors reached the river. Thanks to his 'speed boost', the giant crab was actually able to run on top of the water for a good distance. However, he wasn't able to make it the entire way across leaving the Straw Hats treading water 50km away from shore. Chopper was able to catch his breath (and keep his distance from a still steaming Naruto) by hitching a ride on Zoro's back while Naruto managed to keep afloat by hanging onto Nami (much to Sanji's jealousy). Things weren't looking good, and to make matters worse an enormous, man-eating Sandora Catfish suddenly surfaced and began to chase after them. Their fortunes took a turn for the better, however, at the unexpected but welcome arrival of the Kung-Fu Dugongs!

The aquatic martial artists beat the giant catfish unconscious in a matter of moments, and the crew was able to get a ride on the out cold fish with the Dugongs hauling them across the river. According to the Dugongs (with Naruto and Chopper acting as translators), they couldn't abandon their fellow 'disciples', thinking that the Straw Hats were Luffy's disciples. Not that the pirates were going to correct them, however!

They were able to make it across the river with three hours to go. But this still left the problem of how they'd manage to cross the remaining distance in time. Even with Eyelash able to carry two people and Naruto and Chopper possibly being able to use their speed to their advantage, they'd still have people needing a ride as well as the possibility of having to deal with the Baroque Works' agents. Luck was on their side again though, as help came in the form of Carue who was leading his group, the Supersonic Duck Squadron! The fastest land animals in Alabasta, and there were enough ducks for each of the Straw Hats to ride.

Before heading out, the crew decided to disguise themselves in similar cloaks figuring that the remaining B.W. agents would be targeting Vivi since she'd be the biggest threat to their plans. As they got closer to the city, Naruto used his superior hearing to spot where the agents lay in wait. Unexpectedly, there was seven agents gathered instead of the five they'd expected. When Naruto told Vivi this, she bit her lip in worry.

"I was afraid of this. Crocodile called in the Mr. 6/Miss. Mother's Day duo. With Mr. 3 and Miss. Goldenweek along with 5 and Valentine's Day, Crocodile called them in as substitutes. And they're the only duo I have little to no information on, only that they're both two of the youngest Agents and like Mr. 13 and Miss. Friday they have talents to take on Devil's Fruit users," She informed the others as they raced ahead.

Zoro stated in a no nonsense tone, "Then whoever has to go up against them needs to be extra careful. For now...DODGE!" He finished with a yell as the sound of a cannon fired, shooting (of all things) a baseball at the approaching group. It was quickly clear that this was no ordinary baseball, however, as it started ticking when it landed and soon exploded! Fortunately, the Straw Hat's mounts were too fast and were able to dodge the explosion.

The group then started to split up as they had earlier planned, with Chopper (in Heavy Point) and Sanji went to the Southern Gate of the city, Usopp and Eyelash to the Southwestern Gate (with one of their mounts running over a peeved Mr. 2), with Zoro and Nami went to the Western Gate.
Vivi, Carue, Naruto and his mount all stuck behind in the rocky terrain, the latter staying behind in case Vivi needed backup. They witnessed the agents going after the decoys and got ready to depart themselves. Naruto turned to the princess and asked, "Are you ready?"

Vivi, with a look full of determination, said, "Whether I'm ready or not is irrelevant. I have to do this if the rebellion is to be stopped. All I can do now is pray the others will be alright."

Naruto placed a comforting hand on Vivi's shoulder and gave her a reassuring, if somewhat sharp-toothed, smile. "Hey, don't worry. While I haven't been on the crew long, I know my bro and the others can take care of themselves. Now," he gave her a thumbs up, "let's go stop a rebellion!"

"Hmph, looks like I was right. Vivi wasn't part of the initial group," an unfamiliar male voice spoke gruffly, causing the small group to tense up.

"Yeah, yeah fucktard. You and your goddamn super hearing can get off your high horse before I kick you off," a harsh female voice grumbled.

Vivi paled, "The Mr. 6 team…" she bit out weakly.

Naruto for his part got off his duck and gave a serious look at Vivi. "I'll hold them off, you go on ahead and don't look back." Vivi looked ready to protest before Naruto shot her a confident grin and said, "Hey, I got this. After all, I'm a Straw Hat pirate too!"

Vivi hesitated for only a second before smiling at the young pirate and giving a nod before snapping the reins on her mount and streaking off towards the city, Naruto's duck following after.

"Do you honestly think we'll let you get away?" the male voice asked in a mocking tone before Naruto's sharp ears picked up a sharp sound filling the air. Noticing that the sound seemed to be heading in Vivi's direction, Naruto acted fast and used 'Rabbit's Peace' to knock one of the large boulders in the area into the path of whatever it was they were going to attack Vivi with. And none too soon, as the second the boulder got in the way between Vivi and the unseen attack, it shattered into a pile of pebbles.

Once the dust settled, it revealed that Vivi was now just a spot in the distance and was unhurt if the speed she was traveling was any indicator. Seeing this, Naruto heaved a mental sigh of relief before turning towards the source of the voices and attack before calling out, "Looks like she's the one that got away after all! Why don't you settle for me instead? After all," with this he narrowed his eyes and cracked his knuckles on his hand, "I won't run."

"...Very well," the male voice stated with barely concealed anger at being thwarted in his voice. With that, two figures came into view.

Naruto vs Mr. 6 and Miss. Mother's Day

Naruto grinned as he eyed his opponents. Mr. 6 was a young man, probably in his early teens who looked largely like a mummy in that most of his face was wrapped in bandages save for one of his eyes. He also wore a large poncho with long sleeves that went past his hands, a snake patterned scarf around his neck, and a straw raincoat covered his back. Miss. Mother's Day was a girl around the same age as 6, with brown eyes that were accentuated by her eyelashes extending into the corners of her eyes and had an impassive expression on her face. Her hair was long, untamed, and blood red that fell past her shoulders with long parted bangs framing either side of her face and one between her eyes. Mother's Day's attire was a black shirt under a tan tunic with elbow-length sleeves and black skin-tight shorts. She wore black arm-warmers, black sandals with calf-length leg warmers covered by bandages, and a purple, rope-like belt tied in an inverted bow around her waist. To keep her wild hair out of the way, Mother's Day also wore a black hat with pipe-like stripes and bandaged sides, keeping her bangs in place while the rest was pushed back behind her ears to trail down her back.

"So, I guess I get a two for one special, huh?" Naruto asked casually as he adjusted his gloves. He then gave a wide grin showing all his teeth, "Lucky me!"

Mr. 6 stepped forward, pulling the sleeve of his right arm up to show some kind of metal gauntlet with holes was strapped to his wrist. "I think you underestimate the situation you're in, boy," he said in a dangerous tone. "Miss. Mother's Day and I are more than capable-"

"Oh for fuck's sake, Dosu," Mother's Day spat out, "I told you to stop using that shit awful code name when the Boss ain't around! Call me Tayuya, you mummy prick!"

'Dosu,' let out a long suffering sigh at this as he said dryly, "Could you once act professional, Tayuya?"

"Bite me!" the redhead growled.

Naruto snickered at the exchange, "Trouble in paradise?"

"Screw you too, cottontail!" 'Tayuya' snapped, "I ain't using fuckin' Mother's Day as a fuckin' code name! I wanted to be something badass like 'Halloween,' but noooo! Apparently, Sir Crocodick already had the code names prepared, so I'm stuck with the holiday name that nobody takes fucking seriously!"

Dosu stared flatley at his partner with his visible eye. "You done?"

In response, the assassin flipped the mummy the bird while pulling out a flute from a bag on her back. Dosu simply rolled his eye as he rolled back his sleeve to fully expose his gauntlet. Turning his attention back to the second doctor of the Straw Hat Pirates, he demanded in a professional tone, "Tell us where the princess is going, and we might only incapacitate you."

Naruto gave a sarcastic grin as he put his hands into his signature Rabbit's Peace positions and replied, "Gee, what a swell offer mister! Here's my counter offer; why don't you and Miss. Sunshine over there take the nearest ship out of Alabasta and then proceed to go screw yourselves?"

The two glared murderously at that as Tayuya opened up her sailor's mouth and spat, "Oh, it. Is. ON, you limp-dicked, albino kangaroo, FUCKTARD!"

Naruto lost his grin at that as he narrowed his eyes. "Kangaroo? Get your animals straight: I'm a bunny, bitch!" With that, said bunny literally jumped into action as he began the battle of his life.

Chopper vs. Mr. 4 and Miss. Merry Christmas

Chopper gulped slightly as he viewed his opponents. Mr. 4 was a large, fat man with thick lips and short blonde hair. His outfit was a green shirt with a large number 4 on it along with an orange scarf, black pants, and brown shoes. Strapped to his back was what appeared to be a large cannon, most likely the same one that fired on the crew earlier. Miss. Merry Christmas was a stout, middle-aged woman with wild burnt red hair held back by a green headband. Her eyes were covered in large, purple lensed sunglasses and around her neck was a Christmas tree shaped necktie. She wore a basket on her back while her clothes consisted of a white shirt, purple flowered pants, and sandals.

Since the ducks who carried Usopp and Eyelash showed up, Sanji went to go assist the two when Chopper assured him he'd be fine.

'In hindsight, I think I'm in over my head,' Chopper thought nervously before shaking his head. 'No! I'm a Straw Hat now! Besides, Naru and I have been training for years taking on tougher looking opponents then these two. I can do this!' he finished his mental pep talk with a steam filled snort.

"Areyoufinallyreadytogo? It'sabouttimebrat, mybackwasstartingtoactupfromallthisstandingaround! Youmustbeprettycockytakingusonwithoutthatblondebastard'shelp! We'regoingtocrushyouintothesandandthenfindyourfriendtheprincess!" Miss. Merry Christmas shot off in a very rapid way of talking.

Mr. 4, meanwhile, said in a slow, stupid sounding voice, "Le...t's...fi...gh...t!"

"Here I go!" Chopper stated as he balled his hands into fists and got into a ready position.

Omake

"By the way," Bon Clay added as he finished his performance, "I simply love the outfit! It really compliments your fur well."

"Huh?" Naruto wondered in confusion before awkwardly scratching the back of his head. "Uh, thanks?"

"Yes, we simply must share fashion tips some time. Specifically in a more...private, setting?" the drag queen concluded with a flirtatious wink.

"Uhhh...I need an adult?" Naruto croaked uncomfortably and wondering where in the hell was the older members of the crew.

"I am an adult," Mr. 2 countered as he began his advance.

"GAH!" Naruto gasped as he jolted awake in his hammock. Realizing it was all a dream, the rabbit boy shuddered as he muttered to himself, "Okay, no way in HELL am I fighting that guy! And Sanji's gonna pay for adding in those hot peppers to my dinner!"

Omake 2

"So, Naruto, what did you do to Chopper when you found out he'd eaten some of your ramen without permission?" a curious Nami asked.

Giving the navigator a cheerful grin, Naruto responded with, "Well, let's just say that the following payback involved a pair of scissors, some quick drying glue, and several pillowcases full of feathers. And, you didn't hear it from me, but the people of Drum will swear that the doctrine had acquired a chicken with antlers for the next three months."

Nami, who was now pale and sweating nervously, just nodded in response and swore to never, ever get on the rabbit boy's bad side. She also silently swore to step up her disciplinary measures. Can't have the new guy upstaging her, after all!

AN: Some of you might be wondering from last chapter why we gave Chopper throwing needles and Naruto boomerang shuriken. Well for the former, Dimension Distorter got the idea from This Bites! where Chopper learns to be quite adept at throwing syringes and scalpels during his time with the Straw Hats, so we figured, why not give it a Naruto twist and add to Chopper's arsenal? For the later, mellra actually got the idea from the movie Rise of the Guardians, where the character Bunnymund (a Hugh Jackman voiced version of the Easter Bunny) used boomerangs to fight, so why not give our ninja based ninja a shuriken version of the boomerang?