Notes: I have no excuse for this. It's entirely self-indulgent, and it's only loosely based on Sailor Moon. I'm borrowing a lot of names, concepts, and basic plot points, but I'm combining it with tons of KHR! stuff, too. It's been about six years since I've seen Sailor Moon, so my knowledge is kind of shaky anyway. This will probably be only five or six chapters - if that. This was hastily written and edited by me just now, so please excuse any mistakes. Otherwise, enjoy!

I.

"Moon Prism Power, Make-up!" Tsuna yells with much more confidence than he feels, holding his hand adorned with the Moon Ring high above his head as Reborn commanded.

Almost immediately, his vision grows to a blinding white, forcing him to close his eyes, and he's overcome by strong feelings of familiarity and warmth and home. He's not sure what this strange, welcoming power is, but when it beckons him to move, he does so willingly. The transformation almost seems like a dance, and though Tsuna doesn't have an elegant bone in his body, even he can admit his motions during the dance-like trance are smooth and regal. When it's over, however, his weight and control over his own limbs suddenly return to him, and he wobbles a little on his feet.

Once stable, he looks down at his body. White shorts that barely reach the middles of his thighs and sturdy, white boots have replaced his jeans and sneakers. He exclaims dumbly and then examines his hands, which are covered in white gloves that end just before his elbows, and he notices his ring is still somehow on the outside of the glove. There are earrings in his ears - they weren't even pierced! - and some sort of steel headband or tiara with what he thinks is a jewel is nestled on his forehead. His shirt is also white with short, puffy sleeves, an orange collar, and a big, orange bow in the center.

"What?! What is this?!" He shouts, panicking as he tries to pull the shorts down to cover the indecent amount of leg that's now showing. "Reborn! Change me back!"

The sadistic 'adviser' only smirks at him, and Tsuna's not even sure why he bothers at this point. He's only known Reborn for a few weeks, and it's already become quite clear that Tsuna won't receive any genuine sympathy or concern from the other. "That's the official Senshi uniform, Dame-Tsuna, and I won't have you tarnish centuries of tradition just because you're embarrassed," Reborn says with far too much amusement.

"Well, this is Earth, and here, this is completely inappropriate!" Tsuna shrieks despite knowing that this battle has already been lost. The shorts won't budge, maybe because they're weird, alien magic clothes, and he doesn't know how to change them back. As if reading the resignation on his face, Reborn practically reeks of satisfaction. Tsuna groans in utter dismay.

II.

The bad guy Tsuna's supposed to take down or something is actually a bad lady, and since he's never bought into the whole 'women are weaker than men' thing, he's suitably terrified of her. The zombie-like people in this restaurant she's running are scary, too, and Tsuna wilts a little at the prospect of- of fighting anyone.

"See that, Dame-Tsuna?" Reborn pulls his hair to the left, and he obediently turns his head toward whatever Reborn wants him to see.

The bad lady walks into the back (presumably, the kitchen) and then comes out with two huge platters of truly awful, toxic-looking food. "Why would people eat that?!" Tsuna whispers, horrified, as a man happily digs into the purple mush on his plate. Is that a bone sticking out?!

Reborn says, sounding serious for once, "It's because they can't see what you're seeing, Dame-Tsuna. To them, it's delicious, high-quality food when in actuality it's from the Netherworld, and every bite they take drains a significant portion of their life energy."

"What?! You mean that gross stuff is killing them?" Tsuna asks, shakily, glancing around at the dull-eyed people of Namimori with concern. Some of those are students at his school! And worse, his mom was talking about heading here tomorrow to check out the restaurant that's on everybody's lips. He can't let that happen.

"Then go in there and stop her," Reborn orders, and Tsuna wonders not for the first time if his adviser can read minds.

Tsuna gulps as the meaning of those words - and what he has to do - sink in. He's clumsy and forgetful and dame, and someone else would definitely better for this job than he. But there is no one else. He'll have to do. He stands up, equally determined and scared, and Reborn smirks at him.

"What do I have to do?" Tsuna asks now that's he decided to go along with this.

"You'll need this," Reborn says, and his lizard, Leon, spits out a pair of mittens with little crescents on them. He throws them at Tsuna, who barely manages to catch them, and instructs, "Put them on and say, 'Moon Prism Power Gloves.'"

Warily, Tsuna does so, and the cutesy mittens glow a bright white as they transform into black leather gloves with silver coloring the fingers and blue orb-like things on the backs decorated with the word "MOON" in curly text. "Whoa," he murmurs as he checks them over - because these actually look really cool.

"Remember your training," Reborn advises as he hops off Tsuna's shoulder and lands softly on the ground in the alley they're hiding in. "You'll be fine."

Said training had begun almost three weeks ago when Reborn had showed up out of the blue and declared Tsuna the long, lost Prince to the Moon Kingdom and himself to be Tsuna's adviser. Tsuna had been understandably skeptical and had tried to shoo the crazy baby away, and Reborn had quickly proven to be as weird as he'd claimed when his lizard turned into a gun and had been used to shoot at Tsuna.

His mom had taken a shine to Reborn as soon as she met him despite Tsuna's fervent wishes, and so he'd been stuck with the adviser from that day forward. The past three weeks have been wild and life-threatening feats one after the other, and Tsuna had quite reluctantly been forced to learn some hand to hand combat somewhere along the way. That's probably what the gloves are for anyway, and Tsuna supposes he really should have seen this coming.

"Get going," Reborn orders, kicking Tsuna towards the side door to the building that they'd figured leads into the kitchen.

He staggers forward but catches himself, and with an irritated glance at Reborn and a subconscious, futile tug at his way too short shorts, he moves closer and reaches for the doorknob. It turns easily, and he sighs because of course it would. He eases the door open and peeks inside. It is the kitchen, and if he weren't sure, the fowl smell and horrid dishes scattered around the counters and stovetops would certainly confirm it.

No one's around, and he doesn't hear anything, so he steps inside and closes the door behind him. Covering his mouth and nose with his hands, he cautiously navigates the eerily darkened space and heads for the only other door in the room. Going by the light underneath it, Tsuna guesses it'll take him to the main dining area.

Before he gets there, voices suddenly sound from his right, and he hastily ducks behind a counter and crawls into the small space under it as the bad lady emerges from an unnoticeable opening in the floor at the far wall that looks like it might go to a basement.

"The love energy pouring off of these fool humans should be enough to soothe Byakuran-sama," the woman practically purrs to someone Tsuna can hardly see from his vantage point.

"Very well. Keep up the good work, Bianchi," a smooth, masculine voice replies, and then the silhouette flickers and vanishes.

Bianchi smiles cruelly as she wraps her arms around herself and gushes, "Soon, Byakuran-sama will see my worth, and he'll ask me to rule the galaxy at his side as his queen." She hums a jaunty tune as she grabs more food platters and returns to the dining room.

Tsuna shudders, grossed out by the strange woman's apparent crush, and a squeaky voice in his head reminds him, "What are you waiting for? Go after her, Dame-Tsuna."

He jumps, startled, and he hits head on the counter above him. "Oww," he groans quietly, glad no one seems to have heard him. But where did that voice come from?

"Your earrings. They're not just for show. They're a highly advanced communication device developed by the best scientist in the Moon Kingdom," Reborn informs him, and Tsuna only starts a little this time. "You didn't think I was going to leave you to this battle by yourself, did you?"

Tsuna refrains from the immediate 'yes!' that had sprung to mind (because that sounds exactly like something his sadistic adviser would do) and instead says, "Well, what do I do? I've never been in a fight before!"

"Confront her. Fighting is in your blood, Dame-Tsuna. Just let your instincts take over," Reborn tells him, seriously.

"...Okay," Tsuna eventually says, releasing a defeated sigh as he gets back to his feet. 'I can do this,' he thinks loudly over the constant denials running through his head. 'I'm the Moon Prince.'

He scrounges up every last bit of courage he possesses and bursts through the door just as Bianchi is holding up a struggling Mochida Kensuke by his neck. She stops at his dramatic entrance, and they both look over to Tsuna.

Clearly judging him as she does a full sweep of his frilly outfit, Bianchi demands, "And who might you be, little boy?"

Tsuna fumbles for a moment and then strikes (what he hopes is) a heroic pose - with his hands on his hips and his legs parallel to his shoulders. Head held high, he announces brashly, "I'm the Moon Prince! A-and in the name of the Moon, I'll punish you!"

What is he doing?! He regrets the words as soon as he says them, but then again, he's been regretting a lot of things since Reborn inserted himself into Tsuna's life. One more embarrassing incident is just par for the course, really.

Bianchi raises an eyebrow, and after a long moment, she throws her head back and laughs. It's not a kind or pretty laugh, and it raises the hairs on the back of his neck. She drops Mochida in the process, thank goodness, and the middle schooler hurriedly crawls away from her. "Prepare to die, little prince," she drawls and holds up a toxic platter in each hand.

Without warning, she throws them both at him as well as many other horrid, purple dishes, and probably only thanks to Reborn's Spartan training methods is Tsuna able to dodge all of them. When he looks back, the mush has actually burned holes through any surface it touched. And people have been eating this stuff?!

"Stay still, you little pest!" Bianchi growls, and Tsuna does no such thing.

"What am I supposed to do?!" Tsuna mutters fretfully, diving behind a table as three green plates of unidentifiable slabs of meat fly over his head.

Reborn chimes in, "Get close to her and attack. You're not doing anything by just dodging."

Grudgingly agreeing with him, Tsuna moves away from his cover, which has now been partially eaten through by Bianchi's poison cooking, and rushes toward her while weaving in and out of the path of her projectiles. He can see her becoming increasingly frustrated as he gets closer, and once right in front of her, he ducks under a wildly thrown punch and gives her one of his own. She doubles over, and Tsuna grabs her face and brings it up to meet his knee. He spins around and kicks her, and she's thrown back into a table with two of her zombie customers.

Uncertainly, Tsuna watches her struggle to get to her feet. "No... No! My love! I won't be defeated here!" She screams desperately, and her body morphs into something utterly inhuman. "You! I'll kill you!"

"Tsuna! Yell 'Moon Flames'!" Reborn barks into his ear, and dumbly, Tsuna follows the order.

"Moon Flames!" He yells, and his hands are engulfed in bright, orange flames. He feels a thrum of power accompany them, and suddenly, he knows exactly what she's going do, how she's going to move, and what he needs to do to stop her. It's all so clear, and his blind panic has been replaced with calm certainty.

She puts her arms together as she prepares her biggest attack, and Tsuna places his hands behind his back and wills the flames to propel him forward. In an instant, he's across the room and next to her. He grabs her face with his hand and drags her along on his momentum. She crashes into the wall, and he lands beside her, hand still on her face. Instinctively, he pushes his flames to cover her entirely, and she disintegrates before his eyes, purified of the darkness in her soul.

Everything's quiet after that, and the darkness in the restaurant visibly recedes, leaving a normal building behind. The civilians all collapse to the floor, and even they seem livelier and more colorful than before. Tsuna's flames putter out, and he stares unseeingly at the place Bianchi's body had just been.

A familiar weight settles on his shoulder. "Good job, Dame-Prince," Reborn says. "Let's go home, or Maman will worry."

Tsuna nods and exits the restaurant silently, and as soon as he's out of sight of any prying eyes, the transformation reverts him back to his normal clothes. At home, he greets his mom, and he climbs the stairs and heads to his room. Once there, he collapses on his bed and falls asleep instantly.

End Notes: Whaa?! No Tuxedo Mask? Don't worry. This AU will definitely have everyone's favorite hero. I've got all the Senshi accounted for, as well as the Arcobaleno and the Millifiore, but if anyone's got any suggestions for plot points or scenes they'd like to see, let me know. I'm always open to new ideas.