Multiverse Smoke Sesh
Ang3l: Here's a one-shot I've been thinking about doing. Yes, as the title says, this will be basically a smoke session between some of the characters from different anime. Naruto, Soul Eater, Fairy Tail, and Attack on Titan. Obviously there will be heavy use of marijuana references in this, so if you don't like that or it offends you then don't read it. Kurama if you would do the honors.
Kurama: ForsakenAng3l doesn't own Naruto, Soul Eater, Fairy Tail, or Attack on Titan. So suing is pointless. He doesn't even have anything to be sued for.
Ang3l: *glares* Thank you ass.
Kurama: Love you too.
Ang3l: Bite me.
LEGEND: "…" speech
'…' thinking
(…) probably authors notes
italics will purely be flashbacks
- Scene change
"Alright gaki," Jiraiya said as he sat down in Naruto's smoke room. He was wearing a pair of black pants with black combat boots. He had his usual red kimono top on over a green long sleeved shirt. "What are we waiting for?"
"Just a few more people," Naruto said as he leaned back into his chair. He was wearing a pair of jeans with a pair of high top One Stars. He had on a dark blue v-neck with the Uzumaki symbol on the chest. He took a sip of the energy drink he had and put it back in the chair's cup holder.
"Who else is coming?" Jiraiya asked as he looked around the room. The room was the basement of Naruto's house. It was carpeted and had three couches with two lazy boy arm chairs between each couch. (A/N Imagine couch, then chair, couch, chair, couch) The furniture was arranged in a horseshoe shape with a coffee table in the center and a 70 inch flat screen sat atop an entertainment center. A pair of subwoofers were on either side of the entertainment center with four surround sound speakers on the wall in strategic locations for maximum sound output. Behind the couch to Naruto's left was a mini fridge stocked full of food and drinks. On the far side of the basement behind the couches was a washer and dryer. The wall to the left had a door and staircase leading to the main part of the house.
"Just a few other people. Are you gonna fucking hit that or are you just gonna hold it all night long Ero Sennin?" Naruto asked irritated.
Jiraiya looked down in to his hands and realized that the bowl was no longer hot. "Sorry," he said as he lit the smoke after bringing the pipe to his mouth and inhaling. "I was checking out your room down here. I gotta say it's pretty sweet." He blew the smoke from his lungs and handed Naruto the bowl.
"Thanks," he said and took a hit off the bowl before passing it back. He exhaled the smoke from his nose. His phone buzzed on the coffee table right after handing the bowl to Jiraiya. Naruto quickly grabbed it and checked the message. "Alright, Sasuke and Karin are here. Natsu and Lucy are ten minutes away. Levi said he had to go pick up Eren and Mikasa so they won't be coming until later. And Soul and Maka just left Soul's place," Naruto read through his messages. His phone buzzed again. "Kakashi is going to get more smoke for us while Nee-chan said she was out getting food."
Jiraiya took a hit and passed the bowl. "That's out," he commented. "Tastes like ass."
"I'm not even going to ask how you know what ass tastes like," Naruto deadpanned as he pulled open a drawer on the coffee table. "Alright, Chidori, Rasengan, Amaterasu, or Susano?" he asked.
"We just smoked Rasengan, get Chidori out and we'll save the other two for when the others all get here," Jiraiya said as he grabbed the bong off the coffee table and took the Chidori from Naruto. Jiraiya packed the bowl while Naruto began to bring out two more bowls, a wax pen, the other three weeds, and a few joints and blunts. He set them out on the table in an orderly fashion. "Here," Jiraiya handed Naruto the bong.
Naruto nodded to the man and lit the weed and began to inhale. He was in the middle of clearing the bowl when Sasuke and Karin walked down stairs and into the room. "Jiraiya," Sasuke greeted. He had on a faded navy blue pair of pants and black sandals. He had on a black shirt with an opened button up shirt that was slightly darker than his pants over it. (A/N Road to Ninja outfit)
"Sasuke, Karin," he nodded towards them.
Naruto simply raised a hand in greeting as he finished the bowl and inhaled the rest of the smoke for the chamber. He blew out a large smoke cloud as Sasuke and Karin sat down on the couch to the left of Naruto's chair. (A/N. Throughout this I'll update the sitting positions of everybody. Right now, from right to left, it's Jiraiya, Naruto, Sasuke, Karin.)
"What's up guys?" Naruto asked as he packed the bowl with more Chidori before passing it over to Sasuke.
"Not much. Work mostly,"Sasuke said as he took the bong from Naruto. "Thanks."
Naruto nodded. "What about you Karin?" he asked his cousin.
Karin was wearing a pair of knee high boots with black short shorts. Her top consisted of a purple long sleeved button up with the bottom half of the buttons undone. She shrugged as Sasuke lit the smoke and began to inhale. "Just listening to Sakura bitch about him," she said and pointed at Sasuke with her thumb.
"Hang on," Jiraiya said as he leaned forward. "I thought you and Sakura were together Naruto?"
"We are, but Karin and Sakura are roommates and Sasuke is over there a lot of the time with Karin," he explained. "And I'm guessing that the Emo Duck here is being his usual obnoxious self."
"If by that you mean leaving dirty dishes everywhere, leaving his dirty clothes lying around, and being an ass in general; then yeah. His usual obnoxious self," a female voice said from the stairway door.
Everybody turned as Sasuke chocked on the smoke he had inhaled. He nearly dropped the bong he was holding and began coughing his lungs out. "Hey! don't drop my bong!" Naruto scolded as everybody else turned to see the newcomer. A naturally pink haired female with a slender body was standing there with her hand on her hip. She was wearing a pair of short jean shorts and a red t-shirt with the Uzumaki symbol in the center of the back.
"Hey Sakura!" Naruto greeted happily with his usual foxy grin. "I thought you had to go to your parents tonight?"
Sakura smiled back lightly and walked over to him and sat down in his lap. She gave him a quick peck on the lips before she glared over at Sasuke. "Just cause I don't care if you stay with Karin doesn't mean I'm going to clean up your mess," she said dryly. "And no. They decided to go visit my grandparents. They said we could do dinner another night." She shrugged
Karin snickered. "You got told," she said and nudged Sasuke who had just finished coughing.
"Bite me," Sasuke said.
"Don't tempt me," Karin mumbled before she lit the bong up.
"I see you guys started without me," Sakura said as she lightly punched Naruto's arm.
"I started after I woke up this morning," Naruto said as he poked Sakura in the side, causing her to giggle lightly.
"Figures," she said.
Jiraiya took the bong from Karin as she exhaled the smoke in Sasuke's face. "So are you two ever going to move in together?" the man asked Naruto and Sakura.
The couple looked at each other then back to Jiraiya. "We have both agreed that we are going to take things slowly," Sakura explained.
"Especially after what happened with Hinata," Naruto said. "I really don't want things to move that quickly again."
"How are things with that anyway?" Sasuke asked as Jiraiya lit up one of the joints.
Naruto shrugged. "As good as it can be I guess," he said. "I see her every once in a while when she comes by the shop to get something fixed on her car. But other than that things are fine."
"She quit stalking him," Sakura added as she took the joint from Jiraiya.
"That's good," Karin commented. "She's a nice girl, but just way to obsessive."
Naruto nodded as Sakura passed the joint to him. He took a long drag on it before passing it to Sasuke. An orange, almost red, cat jumped up onto the arm of the couch and laid down.
"Hey Kurama," Sasuke said and scratched the cat behind its ears lightly before blowing smoke in it's face. The cat didn't mind in the slightest. Naruto had hot-boxed his bathroom with the cat in it plenty of times, so this small amount of smoke was nothing in its mind.
"I still can't believe you got your cat high," Karin said as she shook her head. She took a drag off the joint and passed it over to Jiraiya.
"He's the one who wanted in the bathroom and wouldn't stop meowing and scratching at the door until I let him in. Fucking stoner cat," Naruto deadpanned.
Sakura chuckled and clicked her tongue a couple of times to get the cat's attention. "Hey buddy," she said as he jumped over to her lap and started to purr immediately.
Naruto's phone buzzed again. He checked the messages. "Kakashi and Nee-chan are back. Nee-chan said she is going to start making some food. Oh yeah that reminds me!" Naruto exclaimed and tapped Sakura's thigh. She stood up so he could stand. Naruto walked over to his mini fridge and opened it and rummaged around before grabbing a large Tupperware dish. "Nee-chan made brownies!" he grinned and set them down on the coffee table.
Karin grinned. "Awesome! Your sister makes the best edibles!" she exclaimed and quickly grabbed one. She took a bite and sighed happily.
Naruto grabbed a couple and sat back down, followed by Sakura right back into his lap. At that point Kakashi had emerged through the doorway and walked over to sit beside Jiraiya. "Yo," he said with his hand raised.
Naruto nodded to him as he took a drag off the joint then passed it over to Sasuke. (Seating/passing order is as follows from right to left: Kakashi, Jiraiya, Sakura, Naruto, Sasuke, Karin. Kurama just gets free rein of any smoke in the area.) Kakashi was wearing dark blue jeans and simple tennis shoes. He had dark green shirt on with the Hidden Leaf symbol on left side of it just above his heart. Over that he wore a light jacket. And, as always, his mask was ever present. He had let his hair grow a little down his face to cover his eye and the scar it had.
"Kakashi," Jiraiya greeted as he grabbed another joint. He was about to light it up, but stopped after he was hit in the head with a rubber band.
"Damnit Ero Sennin," Naruto growled. "Stop lighting up all my shit without asking first."
Jiraiya glared lightly at his godson. "Little shit," he shot back. "I helped buy some of this. So if I want to light some up, then that's what I'm damn well gonna do."
Naruto gave Jiraiya a dry look. "We smoked what you brought earlier with Nee-chan before she went to do a food run," he deadpanned.
Jiraiya scratched the back of his head in thought for a moment. "Oh yeah..." he mumbled.
"Now give me that," Naruto said and grabbed the joint and lit up. He took a long drag off it then handed it to Sakura.
"Alright foods in the oven. Sasuke scoot down, you're in my spot. Sakura keep a hold of that before you pass it along. Like hell am I getting skipped when I'm right here," a new voice said. Everyone turned to see Naruto's twin sister walking over to the group. She had the same whisker-like birthmarks on her face and had her long blonde hair in a ponytail. She wore a pair of skinny jeans and had abandoned her shoes at the door. Her top consisted only of a Kingdom Hearts t-shirt.
Sasuke grumbled something that sounded something similar to annoying blonde, but moved over nonetheless. Sakura smiled at the girl. "Here Naruko," she said and handed her the joint just as Naruto got the roach of the first joint. He put it out on the dragon head incense burner/ash try then set it aside.
"Hey Nee-chan," Naruto greeted. "It's almost time to make a roach blunt."
Naruko grinned the same foxy grin that her younger, by a few hours, brother did. It was almost scary to see the twins pull off the same foxy grin at the same time. Even more so when they both got the idea to pull one of their classic pranks on some unsuspecting victim. A small shiver went down the spine of everyone present who wasn't blond. At one time or another each and every person in the room had been on the receiving end of one of their pranks at some point in their lives; Jiraiya, Kakashi, and Sasuke more so than the other two.
"Sweet action. I've been wanting to roll on of those again for a while now," Naruko grinned.
Naruto was about to say something else, but his phone buzzed again. "Natsu and Lucy just showed up," he read out loud. His phone buzzed again, making him nearly drop his phone. "And there is Soul. Those two are here also."
Kakashi took a drag off the joint, although… nobody has quite yet figured out how he does that with the mask on…
"Alright!" Sasuke exclaimed. "How in the hell can you fucking smoke with that mask on?"
Kakashi gave his infamous eye smile. "That, my cute student, is a secret," the man said as he passed the joint to Jiraiya. A loud beeping could be heard upstairs, followed shortly by knocking.
"Food's done," Naruto said. "And those guys are at the door. Nee-chan, Sakura can you guys come help bring the food down?" He took a long drag off the joint as Sakura stood up. He handed the joint to Sakura.
"Sure thing," Sakura replied who took a drag before handing it over to Naruko then followed Naruto upstairs. Naruko followed not long after and went into the kitchen with Sakura.
Naruto went over to the door and opened it to reveal Natsu with Lucy holding onto his arm while Soul was carrying Maka piggyback just behind them. "Hey guys! Glad you could make it!" Naruto greeted happily.
Natsu grinned. "Hell yeah! Wouldn't miss it!" he nearly shouted and bumped fists with Naruto. "Is your sister making brownies?"
Naruto smirked. "She already made some, and I think she said something earlier about her caramel being ready later," he grinned.
"Hell yeah!" Natsu exclaimed.
Lucy sighed and shook her head. "You're too loud sometimes," she said.
Naruto laughed. "Hey Soul, haven't seen you since work yesterday," he joked.
"I know, it's been almost a whole 24 hours since we last saw each other," Soul joked right back.
They all shared a laugh before Naruto stepped out of the doorway. "Well come in guys. You've got good timing. The food Nee-chan made is done," Naruto said.
"Hell yeah! Food!" Natsu yelled bolting passed Naruto and into the kitchen.
"Damnit Natsu!" Lucy shouted after him. Then a loud crash was heard from inside the house. The four standing in the doorway all turned to look inside. Granted they couldn't see inside, but it was more of a reaction.
"Son of a bitch Natsu! Stop eating everything! I didn't make all this food just for you!" Naruko yelled from inside the house. "And clean up the mess you made!"
"But the food's right there!" Natsu protested. It sounded like he was clearly struggling to move.
"Shannaro! Damn moron," Sakura growled. The sound of a fist hitting somebody's skull could be heard followed by a body crashing into a table.
"Ouch! You hit harder than Erza-nee!" Natsu exclaimed.
Naruto sighed. "Lucy you might want to go save your boyfriend from Sakura," he groaned. "The last time I tried, I got a bloody nose for my efforts."
Lucy groaned. "Idiot Natsu," she grumbled before walking inside and going to the kitchen.
Naruto turned to the other two and was about to say something but a sad whine form Natsu stopped him. "Lucy please don't! It was an accident! I swear!" he frantically shouted.
"Moron!" Lucy yelled before a loud smack could be heard. "Clean up this mess Natsu!'
"Yes ma'am!" he shouted quickly.
Naruto cleared his throat. "Anyway. Everyone else is downstairs," he said and led Maka and Soul into the house. He was about to go downstairs with them, but was yanked into the kitchen by Sakura.
"I'll see you guys down there," Naruto called from the kitchen. He turned to Sakura and in turn, surveyed the kitchen and the state of mess it was in. There was a couple of glasses and a plate all broken on the floor and a large puddle of water. Natsu was holding a broom and dustpan sweeping up the glass while Naruko was busy putting all the food on a couple of platters. Lucy was standing next to Naruko with her arms crossed and a tic mark on her forehead.
"Well this is certainly and interesting scene," Naruto deadpanned.
"Yeah. Grab a couple platters and bring them downstairs. Your sister is wrapping up her caramel right now," Sakura said as she handed two of the platters to Naruto while she took one herself.
"We'll be down in a moment," Lucy said. "After you finish cleaning up your mess."
"Aww!" Natsu whined.
Naruto and Sakura shook their heads as they walked downstairs. When they emerged from the stairway a light smokey haze could be seen. Maka had just taken a drag off a pipe and, realized the hard way that she had taken too big of a hit. She handed the bowl to Soul as she began coughing up her lungs. Naruto sat the platters down on the coffee table followed by Sakura.
Naruto sniffed the air curiously. He looked over at Jiraiya. "Did you pack that with Amaterasu?" he asked.
Jiraiya snickered. "I will not say anything to incriminate myself in this situation," he said and looked over at Sasuke and glared lightly.
Sasuke shook his head and turned to the now on TV. Naruto sat back down in his chair with Sakura in his lap as Jiraiya passed the bowl. (A/N Order now: Maka, Soul, Kakashi, Jiraiya, Sakura, Naruto, Naruko, Sasuke, Karin. Natsu and Lucy will be before Maka and Soul when they get back downstairs.)
"Alright guys, dig in," Naruto said as he blew a few smoke rings up into the air. Nobody needed to be told twice and promptly began eating as Naruto grabbed the remote. "Anybody up for some video games?" he asked.
Sasuke and Soul both smirked and grabbed a couple controllers while Naruto started up the game system. (A/N I'll leave it up to your guys imagination what system he has.) The Black Ops III start screen appeared on the TV.
"Hey dobe, turn on the surround," Sasuke said.
"I'll turn it on teme, but not because you said to," Naruto glared.
Sasuke smirked. "Sure," he said.
"I'm gonna kick you ass!" Naruto growled as he started up multiplayer. "Hey Soul. Me and you against the teme!"
"Why not," Soul shrugged.
"It doesn't matter how many of you are against me," Sasuke said as he crouched down behind a window and fired his sniper. The shot killed Naruto in an instant. "You will never..." He fired another shot, killing Soul. "Be able..." He fired another shot, getting Naruto again. "Take me out." Sasuke finished as he turned and stabbed Soul who was sneaking up on him.
Everyone was wide eyed at the skill Sasuke had with video games. He smirked over at Naruto who glared right back. "Stop screen watching you jackass!" he yelled.
"I'm not. You just suck," Sasuke shot back.
"You wanna go?!" Naruto growled and tried to get up, but realized Sakura was still occupying his lap. Naruto was about to ask her to move, but the glare she shot towards him silenced him quickly.
Sasuke snorted then made a whip cracking sound. Naruto glared over at him then snickered when he saw the glare his cousin was giving Sasuke. "Like you're one to talk Ducky," Karin said dryly.
Sasuke was about to retort but decided not to knowing if he did there would be nothing good to come out of it later. Naruto was about to make the same whipping sound, but Kakashi and Jiraiya in perfect unison beat him to it. Everyone burst into laughter at the expense of Sasuke's pride.
"The Love Triangle Trio are here!" Naruko exclaimed from the top of the stairs.
"Would you stop calling us that?" a voice growled irritably.
"You're the one who made out with Eren at Lucy's birthday party a few months ago," Naruko deadpanned.
"Can you not bring that back up," a female voice growled.
Naruko laughed. "Sure, sure," she said. "Anyway, everyone else is all downstairs. I'll be down there in a minute."
"Thanks," the first voice said. Footsteps could be soon heard coming down the stairs. Soon after Levi, followed by Eren and Mikasa and then Natsu and Lucy all emerged from the doorway Natsu and Lucy sat down next to Soul and Maka while Levi took the other chair with Eren and Mikasa next to him. (A/N. New order: Mikasa, Eren, Levi, Natsu, Lucy, Maka, Soul, Kakashi, Jiraiya, Sakura, Naruto, Naruko, Sasuke, Karin. This is the final order.)
Naruko came downstairs shortly after with a bag full of individual wrapped caramels. "Alright, caramels are all wrapped up. Feel free to have some, but I warn you beforehand. Some of them are made with Susano and I have no idea which ones are which," she said with an evil grin. "Or maybe I do. I'm not telling."
Everyone shared a laugh as Naruko sat down. She grabbed a blunt wrap and the roaches Naruto had been saving and began to roll them all together with a little extra weed added into the mix. Jiraiya watched amazed as his goddaughter rolled the blunt with expert skill. "How you ever learned how to roll anything that good I'll never know," he commented.
Naruko shrugged. "Practice. Mainly when driving down the road when me and Naruto go on supply drives for the shop," she said. "That and any time Naruto tries to roll any sort of anything, it looks like total crap." She looked over to Naruto who was attempting to roll a joint and failing miserably at it. Half of the weed was on the table and the joint paper was ripped.
He looked up from his "project" and noticed everyone staring at him. "What? It's not my fault," he said.
Everyone laughed as Naruko put the finishing touches on the blunt. "And done," she said and set it on the table.
Naruto grinned. "Alright. None of us have to work tomorrow so..." he grabbed the blunt and lit it up. "Let's get fucked up!" he exclaimed as he blew a cloud of smoke out. Cheers of agreement rang throughout the room. "Hey Naruko. Let's hotbox this room!"
Naruko grinned. "Genius!" she nearly shouted and got up and quickly shut the door going upstairs. She went around the room and made sure any and all crevices where smoke could escape were blocked off. Kurama hopped up onto the back of Naruto's chair and laid down.
Somehow he knew exactly what was up and was getting positioned at the highest spot he could find. Fucking stoner cat.
Soon enough there were seven joints in rotation. Smoke filled the room quickly, especially with Jiraiya and Karin attempting to outsmoke the other. Granted nobody really cared if they tried to outsmoke each other just so long as the room was filled with smoke. Naruto and Sakura had, at one point, gotten up and went over to the washer and dryer and began making out. Nobody seemed to care though as they were too busy smoking. Kurama was really enjoying himself. He had moved from his perch on the back of Naruto's chair to the coffee table. From there the cat was able to get as much smoke as possible since the golden rule was as follows: When the cat is on the coffee table, blow all smoke at him.
When Naruto and Sakura had rejoined the group there were two bowls plus the wax pen in rotation. "You done sucking face?" Sasuke asked slowly.
Naruto rolled his eyes as he took a hit off one of the bowls. "Why? Did you wanna join?" he drawled.
"Nah, there's already a threeway going on over there," Sasuke replied and pointed over to the far corner of the room.
Everyone turned their attention to where Sasuke was pointing. Eren, Mikasa, and Levi were sure enough over in a corner making out. It was kinda hard to tell who was kissing who at this point. Naruto shook his head. He looked around the room and noticed most of the others were passed out on the couches. The only ones awake were him, Sakura, Sasuke, Jiraiya, and Kakashi.
Sakura handed the bowl to Naruto who looked at it for a moment before shaking his head. "I'm done," he said.
Sakura smirked down at him, running her hand down his chest lightly. "Well since anybody who wants to leave can show themselves out why don't you take me upstairs," she said seductively as she stood up and walked to the stairway with a sway in her hips. Naruto couldn't help but stare at her ass as she walked. "Unless of course you don't feel… UP to it," she winked at him and walked upstairs.
Naruto stared at the doorway for a moment in silence. Jiraiya broke the silence and Naruto out of his stupor. "If you don't go hit that, I am," he said. Naruto shot up quickly and bolted to the door without another word. He turned back around to glare at Jiraiya and fired a rubber band that he pulled from seemingly out of nowhere at the man. Normally Jiraiya would've been able to dodge, but he had too many hits off a Susano filled bong. The band smacked him right in the face, making Naruto smirk and run upstairs two steps at a time.
Jiraiya rubbed his face where the band hit and glared after Naruto. "Little shit," he grumbled. Jiraiya turned back to the table and was about to ask if anybody else was still smoking, but the rest had all fallen asleep. Well all besides the love triangle in the corner, but they weren't moving anytime soon. Jiraiya shrugged and lit up a joint all to himself. He sighed happily as he exhaled. He felt his shoulder being nudged so he turned to look. Kurama was on the back of the couch looking down at him then at the joint.
Jiraiya shrugged and took a large hit off the joint then blew the smoke slowly into the cats face. The man could've swore he saw the cat grin through the smoke, but with how high he was there was no telling.
Meanwhile upstairs, Naruto had just gotten to his room and found Sakura laying in his bed wearing a very revealing school girl outfit. Naruto had to pinch himself then rub his eyes to make sure it wasn't a dream. Satisfied that it wasn't, he smirked and shut the door and locked it behind him.
"So I noticed you've got an F in my class Sakura-chan," he began, the smirk never leaving his face.
She smirked right back. "Yes Naruto-sensei. Is there any way at all that I can bring my grade up?" she asked innocently while batting her eyelashes.
Naruto's smirk grew. "I'm sure we can figure something out," he said as he walked over to her.
Sakura smiled innocently as she reached for his belt. "Would this help?" she asked, trying to keep the seductiveness out of her voice as much as possible.
Naruto ran his hand through her naturally pink hair. "It will," he began. "It can bring it up a couple of grades."
"Then I guess I'm gonna have to work extra hard for that A," she said and undid his belt.
Naruto grinned. Yeah today was a good day.
Kurama: Why did you have to make me a friggin cat?
Ang3l: Cause this is a reality setting. Not Narutoverse setting.
Kurama: But why a cat?!
Ang3l: Cause having a cat that gets high is awesome!
Kurama: *glares* You really piss me off. You know that?
Ang3l: *shrugs* Like I care. Now do the thing.
Kurama: *sighs* Please be sure to Review this one-shot and Review/Fav/Follow this morons other stories as well.
See you guys later!