Dipper walked out from behind the Mystery Shack's vending machine, carefully closing the door to Ford's lab in an attempt to keep as quiet as possible.

Which meant nothing when the least quiet person he knew was standing right behind him.

"Hi, Dipper!"

"Gah!" Dipper jumped up in surprise, his hat nearly falling off his head in the process as his sister nearly keeled over in laughter. "Mabel!"

In-between fits of laughter, Mabel managed to reply, "I'm sorry, Dipper, but you just looked so ridiculous trying to be all super-spy sneaky! It was too easy!"

"Shh!" Dipper ushered Mabel away from the vending machine, looking side to side. "I was trying to be quiet because I didn't want Grunkle Stan to find out-"

"That you've been hanging out with my brother again?" Dipper gulped as he heard Stan's gravelly voice from right behind the twins. "You know, I said you guys could hang out. You don't have to be super-spy sneaky about it."

Mabel burst into another fit of laughter as Dipper groaned in exasperation. "I know, Grunkle Stan, but you always seem so annoyed when I hang out with Ford!"

"That's just because you've been down in that lab near every single day!" Stan kneeled down to get to eye level with his nephew. "Look, it's fine that you wanna spend time with him. The stuck-up nerd probably needs the company once in a while. Still, you've got the whole rest of summer just waiting for you and Mabel-"

"And Waddles!"

"-yeah, him too. Take my advice-don't spend it cooped up in that lab." Stan looked at the vending machine, his expression souring. "I've spent too many summers in there to count. You shouldn't have to." His eyes widened as he felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked ahead to see Mabel standing next to Dipper, a worried look on her face. Stan's grin returned in a split-second as he ruffled the twins' hair (or, in Dipper's case, hat). "But enough about that! Who's up for some ice cream and lemonade?"

The twins' eyes lit up in joy and their mouths each burst into a wide grin, though neither were as wide as Stan's own.

"Grunkle Stan, I don't wanna sound rude," Mabel began as she shook a plastic bag filled with ice and a custard base, "But isn't there an easier way to get ice cream? Like, the grocery store?"

Stan laughed as he took a sip of lemonade, letting out a satisfied sigh. He leaned back in his lawn chair, adjusting his shades as the sun beamed down on the trio. "1. Grocery stores charge twice as much for half as much as we're making! 2. Look at this weather! How can you sit there and tell me you don't want to be out here? 3. It builds character!"

"How's that, exactly?" Dipper asked as he squeezed more lemons into the citrus squeezer.

"It prepares you for the real world!"

Mabel looked at her hand-the cold ice had positively pruned her fingers! "Are you sure about that, Grunkle Stan?"

"Look, kids, when you get to learning about this thing called "capitalism" in high school, you'll thank me for the crash course." Stan took another swig of lemonade, finishing off the glass and holding it out to Dipper. A few seconds passed by, and Stan didn't feel the cool, refreshing chill of freshly-brewed lemonade. Something was very wrong there. He flipped his shades onto his forehead, glancing at his nephew. "Dipper, what's the hold up?"

Dipper, for his part, was still grinding a lemon into the juicer. His attention, however, was focused on the crawlspace under their nearby porch. Stan whistled, grabbing Dipper's focus as the boy snapped back to attention. "Sorry, Grunkle Stan!" He poured the juice into the pitcher, adding in cold water and sugar before mixing the whole concoction up. Partway through his fourth stir, he paused. "…say, Grunkle Stan?"

"Yeah?"

"How…how well does Ford react to being…"Dipper searched his vocabulary carefully as he tried to find the right words. "…disagreed with?"

Ford took a sip of coffee from his mug as he walked back to the console. With Stanley and the kids outside, he was able to go upstairs and get some of the good stuff from Stan's "secret stash." Secret. Ha! If he wanted it to be secret, he wouldn't have hid it in Ford's old room. He did wonder where Experiment 78 went, and why Stan's employees Soos and Wendy were playing video games when he went there. Stan must have turned it into some sort of break room.

Not that it really mattered; he wasn't using the room anyway, and the two had seen him now and again since he had arrived. Neither were too bothered by his presence in the Mystery Shack. Soos treated him like a god amongst men, much like the treatment he gave Stan, (though if he was a god, Stan was God with a capital G to the handyman). Wendy treated him the way she treated any adult, with a mixture of respect and apathy-there wasn't much else to it.

Ford placed the mug on a carefully designed cup-holder adjacent to the console before proceeding to open up his laptop. He probably should have gotten straight to work on containing the interdimensional rift that had the capability to destroy the universe as he knew it, but he was ever-so-slightly more curious about the results of his poll. It wouldn't take long, right?

"Disagreed with?" Stan shook his head. "Not well, really. Ford talks big about 'discussion' and 'discourse', and sure, he's usually cool with wherever things go-as long as he's on the winning side. When people think he's wrong, though, there's a weird process he goes through."

"A…process?"

"Yeah. First, if it's something public, he'll try to see who agrees with him."

Well, this was a pleasant sight, though not an unexpected one. It warmed Ford's heart to see that poll ticker read "2e-75%." The comments directly below the poll correlated to that number nicely, with at least three people agreeing (rightfully so) that 2e was far more advanced than even its successors. Something nagged at him, though-that last 25%.

"Then," Stan continued, "He'll try to find out why everyone else doesn't agree with him."

As he scrolled through the posts, Ford was mortified. People were actually insisting that the 5e was the superior text! He'd be fine if they just had a preference, but some of the comments baffled him. They were saying that 5e was "more balanced," "less brutal," and worst of all, "more fun to play" than 2e! Had they all simultaneously gone mad?! The worst of it was from DeathEvilSong. He called 2e an oversized doorstopper, and said it was outdated and dull!

Then it hit him-they simply hadn't played enough of 2e to really appreciate it! DeathEvilSong and his compatriots couldn't have started on any edition before 3e, and most of the comments were from members whose profiles stated their age as under 21! It was as simple as that-they were just too young to realize what they had missed out on. Ford wasn't going to let that go unchanged. He just had to handle it with tact and civility.

"After that, he'll explain his 'findings' to everyone who'll listen." Stan finished.

Dipper breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, that's good."

"Good?" Stan raised an eyebrow. "You kidding me? That's when things really go off the rails."

FordEscape221

After reading through the comments on this poll, it has become unbearably clear that those who feel that 2e is a "brutal" or "painful" experience simply haven't played enough of it. This is not all their faults'-no, they are simply too young to truly appreciate the intricate mechanics, concepts, and (I wouldn't be surprised) lore of 2e. They've been raised on 3e and up, with "Probilatizzle" or however that's spelled and his ilk, and as such take for granted the true beauty of DD&MD. To those who voted for 2e, I thank you greatly for making your voices heard. To those who voted 5e, please, educate yourselves as soon as possible. It will be extremely beneficial to you and this forum as a whole. You'll thank me later. Trust me.

"Does it really matter, though?" Mabel asked, scooping the now-finished ice cream from the bag and placing it in a series of bowls. She handed spoons to Dipper and Stan and pushed the bowls towards them. Stan snatched his bowl up and dug in, putting spoonful after spoonful in his mouth. As Dipper picked up his bowl, Mabel began scoop ice cream for her own bowl. "Grunkle Ford's just down there doing science-y stuff. It's not like he's actually talking to anyone down there, right?"

Dipper tugged at his collar nervously. Stan stopped mid-bite, catching the motion. "Dipper," he mumbled through his spoon, "Who's Ford talking to?"

"No one, really…" Dipper looked down. "…except a whole forum of Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons players."

The look of horror on Grunkle Stan's face was evidence enough.

Ford was about to make a whole lot of people very, very angry.

Dipper suddenly didn't feel very hungry anymore.