Chapter 1:

Leo sighed. How had Annabeth manage to convince him to do this again? Oh right, the dumb Chase had threatened to tell Nyssa about how exactly her favorite project exploded.

So that was why he was now in front of a smart looking door, wondering what he had ever done to deserve this (besides the occasional burning down of cabins and people's shirts….. never mind). A godsdamned psychiatrist! He nose started smoldering.

Why would Annabeth suspect this mortal knew anything in particular about the gods? Besides, if he did, they could always just use the Mist. Why did he have to come?

He then rubbed the smoke off his nose before he actually burst into flames and was arrested for burning some rich guy's house down.

'Well, I might as well be done with it.' He told himself, and walked through the door.

He almost burst into flames again at what he found.

Leo was used to most things. Dragons were great (go Festus!). Talking cows were fine, as long as they didn't try to chew on his shirt. He liked the stayrs even though they had goat legs, and the nymphs were mostly friendly. But really, this he could not deal with.

Annabeth had sent him here for a pasty skinned mortal that Leo was older than by a little, guessing from his looks ! What the heck bro, was that even legal?!

As if by reading his mind, Artemis grinned evilly and said: "I have more degrees than a gathering of university professors put together. Also, it doesn't matter, really, if it's legal or not. You can be surprised at what technology does." Not really. Leo thought. After all, I am the son of Hephaestus. "Right now, the police think that I'm an overweight old man with a paunch. That is, those who don't have me as their psychiatrist."

"Are you really sure you should fool around like that?" he questioned.

"I don't think it is any of your business to ask that. Though in comparison to running a criminal empire and stealing famous works of art, being a psychiatrist isn't that bad. I've written whole profesional books about the field, under aliases, of course."

"Man, the Stolls would love you. Criminal empire and a thief."

A smile tugged at the boy's lips. "I'm not sure I would characterize these Stolls of yours based on their preference of character."

"They are asses, of course." Leo stated resolutely.

"I myself don't prefer such crude language, but I'll let it slide. Leo Valdez, what did you come her for?"

Immortal shit. thought Leo. How in Olympus does he know my name? "A friend of mine told me you might have some information that is... important... to us."

Artemis' eyes narrowed and became wary. "I have lots of information that could be considered important, to the point of global secrecy. I find it useful to store 't even try to blackmail me. I'm sure I can dig something up on you."

"Woah, no. That's not what I'm talking about. Um... do you know anything in particular about the Greek gods?"

Artemis scrutinized him. 'He probably thinks I'm crazy.' thought Leo.

But instead of saying anything what came out of his mouth was instead: "Duck."

Before he had a chance to say anything back, an invisible hand dragged him down. Naturally, he struggled (in more ways than one. Did you know how hard it was to not burst into flames when someone invisible had you dragged down?).

"I knew it." said Artemis from under his desk.

A gorgon flew in, and flew at Leo. Leo promptly incinerated her by bursting into flames.

"What the hell?" Leo hissed, pissed.

"Those monsters had something to do with this. And those disgusting Cyclops everywhere..." Artemis shuddered, and for the first time, Leo noticed the bags under his eyes.

"Let him go, Holly." he said, nodding. Leo knew it was the person holding him down, because duh, who else?

"I don't actually know anything. I just remember..." his voice faltered.

Artemis was drowning. Someone save me! he wanted to call, but he was too far down, with the pressure from the ocean tugging at his lungs. He knew he was going to die.

Suddenly he could breathe again.

All the rest were blurry voices, fading in and out. He also remembered coral houses and talking dolphins. He really was going crazy.

"But then I began to doubt that, after I got back home safely. I kept a scrap of a orange shirt, and after that all these things started popping up. Prodigy that I was, I managed to figure out it most likely had something to do with the greek gods. What other religion has and underwater palace and controls the seas?"

"Well, what were you doing down there in the first place?"

"I was pushed off a helicopter during a mission." Leo raised his eyebrows but Artemis remained unsmiling.

"Exactly what kind of mission was that?"

"We were taking back a super nuclear bomb from the Germans, as they planned to bomb America."

"Oh... I get it."

"No you don't."

"I don't get it."

"I know the person who saved you."

" I know that."

"Then what was all that stuff before for? Leo said, smoking again.

"I only just figured out, you know."

"Whatever." He calmed himself down. "I'll take you to the camp now."

"Wait." said Artemis. "I have to make a few phone calls."

" Mr. Awesome offers to take you to the camp were demi-gods live and you have to make a phone call?" Leo said, voice laced with disbelief.

As if speaking to a five year old, Artemis only reply was: "I promised certain people that I would take them along on my adventures in case I die or get into big trouble."

Leo understood that, at least. He understood that without his friends, he would probably be a gold statue, or worse.

"That's nice, Artemis, but could you please explain how you got to be in a helicopter handling the Germans' nuclear bomb?" said the invisible voice.

"Holly..." Artemis groaned. " I forgot you were there."

"Which is good for me, because I heard everything."

Standing in front of them was a very short woman with pixie-cut auburn hair.

"How is it that you became involved with women with snake hair and people who burst in fire without any of the LEP noticing?" Holly said, menacingly quiet.

"That's because...?" Artemis gasped, not finding a reason but too scared to be his usual cheeky self.

Holly put on an evil smile, and gave his shoulder a bone-jarring slap. "You can go do what you were going to do. I'll let you off easy this time."

Leo thought rightly that her statement was not true, as she gave Artemis a continuous round of 'pats' from which he could hear bones breaking.

He backed away slowly, and awkwardly said, "I'll be back after lunch!"