GREETINGS MORTALS! BILL IS BACK!

AND THIS TIME, WE HAVE A VERY SPECIAL GUEST!

NO, NOT CAPTAIN AMERICA, BUT CLOSE ENOUGH. SAY HELLO TO MY INTERNET FRIENDS, KID!

"Let me go, Bill!"

PINETREE, HOW'D YOU FIX THE CAPSLOCK?

"Not telling. Let me go! I don't want to be part of your demented- what did you call it? Fanfiction? How did I get here in the first place?"

THE FANFICTION GODS ARE QUITE POWERFUL, YOU CAN DO ALMOST ANYTHING ON FANFICTION.

"I don't care! We defeated you! Why can't you just leave me alone?"

DID YOU KNOW PEOPLE ACTUALLY READ THIS?

"I find that hard to believe."

NO, I'M SERIOUS! SOME OF THEM ACTUALLY SOUNDED PRETTY EXCITED TO SEE YOU! ARE YOU REALLY GONNA LET ALL THESE PEOPLE DOWN? DO IT FOR THE FANS!

"Excited to see me? Well- fine, okay. I'll do it."

EXCELLENT! ONTO THE QUESTIONS!

"Questions?"

HEY BILL, WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO GO ABOUT WORSHIPING YOUR MAJESTICNESS?

"Why would you ever ask that?"

I'M LIKING THIS QUESTION.

WELL, I DO ENJOY A GOOD SACRIFICE.

YOU KNOW, SOME CANDLES, A FEW BAGS OF DORITOES, A SMALL CHILD OR TWO, AND A DASH OF SALT. AND TRIANGLES. TRIANGLES EVERYWHERE.

"Please don't."

THIS IS FLAWLESS, I LAUGHED SO HARD I SPIT ALL OVER MY SCREEN. BILL YOU MAJESTIC CREATURE.

WHY THANK YOU, I AM QUITE MAJESTIC AREN'T I?

DIPPER'S GONNA BE A GUEST NEXT TIME? AWESOME. DIPPER, HOW DID YOU FEEL WHEN BILL WAS POSESSING YOU?

"Ugh, it felt horrible. Having your soul ripped from your body isn't fun in the first place, and it felt like my arms were made of jello or something when I was a spirit. The inside of my skin was itchy for a week!"

AWW, C'MON PINETREE, PAIN IS HILARIOUS. ESPECIALLY YOURS.

BUT LET ME TELL YOU, I HAD A GREAT A GREAT TIME, YOU ASIDE FROM THE FACT THAT HUMAN BODIES ARE WEAK AND WIMPY.

"Hey!"

HAVING NOT ONE, BUT TWO EYES? IT WAS DELUXE! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO WATCH 3-D MOVIES WITH ONE EYE? WITHOUT DEPTH PERCEPTION?

SO BILL, DO YOU SHIP DIPPER WITH WENDY? ALSO, PLEASE VISIT ME IN MY DREAMS TONIGHT TOO!

"Do people usually ask you visit their dreams?"

ALL THE TIME. WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO SEE ALL THIS WHILE THEY SLEEP?

"You are literally a triangle with stupid little arms and legs."

WELL YOU KNOW WHAT PINETREE? I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT I SHIP YOU WITH THAT REDHEADED WENDY GIRL THAT YOU LIKE SO MUCH, BUT I DON'T THINK I WILL.

YOU GUYS CARE TO INFORM HIM ON WHAT EXACTLY "BILLDIP" IS?

DO YOU LIKE CHOCOLATE?

OF COURSE, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES IN THE SHINY GOLD PACKAGING.

"Same here."

HEY MR. ILLUMINACHO DORITO!

SO... BACK IN Q/A 2 GUNNA, YOU MENTIONED YOU WERE CALLED STORMAGEDDON DARK LORD OF ALL... WHOVIAN MUCH? :)

BTW I GO BY ECHO SONG, DAUGHTER OF 11 AND REVER SONG/ MELODY POND.

NO SHAME!

NO SHAME FOR POSSESSING THE BABY EITHER.

AND... YOU'RE AS GOOD AS GOLD! ;)

(PUN INTENDED)

WHY THANK YOU. I WOULD WINK, BUT AS I'M SURE I'VE MENTIONED BEFORE, IT WOULD LOOK LIKE YOUR AVERAGE BLINK.

THE STRUGGLE OF BEING A ONE EYED CREATURE IS REAL.

"Who's the wimp now, Bill?"

I WILL STAY POINTY.

ALSO, I DON'T SHIP BILLDIP.

DIPCIFICA FOREVER.

YOU DO THAT, MORTAL. YOU DO THAT.

"Okay, but what's Billdip?'

OH, YOU'LL SEE PINETREE.

HEY DIPPER. WHAT'S YOU'RE REAL NAME?

"My real name? It's Ma-"

C'MON, THERE HAS TO BE MORE INTERESTING QUESTIONS THAN THAT! LET'S MOVE ON!

"But-"

ONWARDS!

SO BILL, HOW MANY FORMS DO YOU HAVE AND COULD YOU POSSIBLY DESCRIBE SOME OF THEM?

I HAVE FORMS WITHOUT NUMBER! AN INFINITE SUPPLY. YOU'VE SEEN SOME OF THEM IN THAT TV SHOW OF ALEX'S.

FOR EXAMPLE, I HAVE A HUMAN FORM, WHO IS QUITE ATTRACTIVE IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF.

ONE OF MY PERSONAL FAVORITES IS WHEN I DIVIDE INTO ABOUT 100 ORANGE MINI-BILLS. I CALL IT DORITO MODE.

AND I'VE THOUGHT OF ANOTHER SHIP NAME FOR YOU AND BEYONCE: BILLYONCE.

LOOK AT THIS, KID! THEY SHIP ME WITH BEYONCE!

"Poor Beyonce."

ACTUALLY I DO HAVE NOODLEY ARMS AND LEGS, THANKS FOR NOTICING. AND FOR ANSWERING ALL MY QUESTIONS. MUCH APPRECIATED. ;)

(HEY PINETREE, THIS SKINBAG HAD NOODLEY ARMS AND LEGS TOO! YOU TWO SHOULD BE FRIENDS!)

AND OH A GUEST APPEARANCE? I SHALL BE WAITING...

"Sup?"

WISCONSIN. (BY THE WAY, THE WORDS WERE JUST SDRAWKCAB)

UOY T'NOD YAS.

"lliB, yhw era ew gnitirw ekil siht?"

ESUACEB EW NAC.

WATCHA DOOIN?

"Being held against my will."

FOLLOWING MY DREAMS!

OH YEAH, AND I MIGHT'VE GIVEN ONE OF YOUR MANY FANCLUBS THIS LINK, SO YOU MAY GET LIKE A MILLION AND ONE QUESTIONS. XD

(AND YES, I WAS MEMBER NUMBER ONE IN THE FANCLUB.)

I HAVE A FANCLUB? PINETREE, I HAVE A FANCLUB!

"The people in this dimension are messed up."

DON'T BE SO HARSH KID, THEY'RE NOT SO BAD.

FOR MORTALS THAT IS.

AND I THINK THAT'S IT FOR THIS TIME.

IT'S BEEN LOVELY.

SAY BYE, PINETREE.

"Please save me from this insane dorito."