A/N

This is set sometime after the Cullen's have left but after Bella has found out about the pack however in a different manner to cannon.

This is mine, anything you recognise is not.

This is unbetaed so forgive me

Cold

She was cold

The cold penetrated down to her bones. She had lost the feeling in her toes long ago. Her fingers were stiff inside her pockets. Her breath iced over as she breathed out into the dark and still night.

She hated being cold.

The last few months she had felt like she couldn't shake the cold. It had permeated every cell in her body. It refused to leave her no matter what she tried.

She had tried to get better, she had tried so hard, tried to start living again. It had happened in part, she started to live, started to engage in school, began to spend time with her Dad again. As much as she tried though she couldn't do it completely, the cold was too much. No matter what she did it just wasn't enough.

It didn't bother her therefore to walk down a freezing cold street in the darkness. If everything was cold she didn't notice it as much. That is what she told herself anyway, it wasn't true though, she would always feel it. She knew she always would. She knew that no matter what happened she would spend the rest of her life with this cold. It was unstoppable, unfixable; there was nothing to be done.

So she walked.

Charlie was spending a few days in Seattle, on a big case or something. The house was empty, her school work done, laundry done, everything in its proper place. She had thought about calling Angela. She had wimped out though, telling herself she would do it tomorrow. She wanted so badly to be able to call on Angela, to invite her and others over, to veg out watching American Idol and eat pizza. But something stopped her. The cold, the cold stopped her.

She kept walking.

She was over halfway to La Push now. She wasn't planning her route. She just walked and walked. The cold had even imbedded itself into her brain. She had tried to make plans. Sat down and picked out Universities. Renée had suggested Florida, told her that she had done her time in Washington, to come back, but she couldn't. Maybe it was guilt. She had spent most of her time here wrapped up in the Cullen's. She hadn't been the best daughter. Staying in Charlie's part of the world would mean that she could try and make that up. He hadn't asked where she was thinking of applying but had smiled and kissed the top of her head when she showed him the list. She was staying in the cold. That felt right somehow. It felt right.

The wind battering against her skin intensified, she was nearing the coast. It stung her face. The stinging had its usages though; it had given her skin some of its life back. She had begun to put some weight back on, her face had lost its gaunt look and her clothes had begun to fit better again. The cold still left its mark though, the colour had not returned properly to her face. It wouldn't, no matter what she tried.

The air smelt better down here, less polluted, less manufactured, less stale. The ocean refreshed it constantly, giving it new life with every crashing wave. She wandered down towards the sand, the wind battering against her. She paused to kick off her shoes, pulling off her socks and stuffing them into the abandoned shoes. She already couldn't feel her toes, what did it matter if she walked on the freezing cold sand. She left her shoes and walked further into the wind, towards the water. The cold wind stung her eyes. The battering against her forced her to be more aware of everything. She had spent so long not being aware of what was happening around her, ignoring the shifts of life. The wind forced the world at her, forced her to be aware of it, forced her to realise that life went on around her. She wanted to feel that. She needed to be battered by that, she needed to know that the world was living.

The sea lived; it didn't stop for anything or anyone. She liked that. She liked how uncompromising it was, how unapologetic.

The cold remained though, it always remained. The sea was warm only when the land was cool, they operated on different plains. Only ever meeting to fight it out against the coast. They didn't fit together but yet they needed each other. What was the ocean without the land? Their existence was dependent on the other. She enjoyed the battle. It was real; it reminded her that those things mattered.

She watched the sea, enjoying the cold water against her feet. It stung her skin, the temperature difference shocked her. She walked along the beach, staying in the shallow waters. Her feet, slowly adjusting to the tickling water.

She breathed deeply. The cold air spreading down into her lungs, the salt seeping into her nostrils. She wondered what it would feel like to be in a sauna, if the air would still feel cold when she breathed. She had taken to having scolding hot showers. They made her skin red, caused her face to sting when she washed it. She had given up on the hot water being able to warm her though. That wasn't happening; she kept the hot water though. It was a human act she now relished, every time a small part of her hoped that today would be the day that it did warm her, that it did take away the cold.

She kept walking.

The beach went on and on. She thought for a moment that she could just keep walking; eventually she wouldn't be able to go any further. She wondered how far she could get. She let the thought settle in her cold mind before shaking at away. She would have to turn back at some point.

She went to her pocket for her phone, before remembering she had left it charging on the kitchen side. The moon was a sliver in the sky, shielded by the clouds.

She wondered if the clouds felt like a warm blanket. If the sky appreciated its ever constant blanket. That blanket though made it impossible for her to read the time off her watch.

She wasn't sure why she bothered. If Charlie had been home that would have been different but there was no one waiting for her.

Maybe she should get a dog? She was sure that Charlie would agree. Perhaps the dog would keep her warm. Give her affection. She wanted that, she wanted a hug.

It wasn't that Charlie didn't offer affection, the affectionate head kisses, the quick hugs but they weren't deep. He cared, he loved her, she never doubted that, not for a second. That was obvious. That didn't take away her desire for human contact though. She wondered if that would take away the cold.

She shivered.

She stopped walking.

She looked down at her feet.

They were encompassed in the darkness but they were probably blue she mused. She was still staring at her feet, wondering if the moonlight would hit them and she would see the paper thin skin tinged blue. She wiggled her toes in the cold sand, burying them deeper into the sand, loving the squelch as it crept over her toes.

"You will catch your cold" the deep voice shocked her, but she couldn't seem to take her eyes off her feet as they sunk further into the sand.

"Can't catch what you already have" her reply came calmly as she turned her head slowly away from her feet towards the dark, ominous male shaped body standing a little way from her on the beach.

"True, hypothermia then" He misunderstood her, the body moved closer towards her, so he towered over her.

"I'll be fine" She replied, looking up at him. She tried to work out who it was. It was too dark to see distinguishable features. She knew it wasn't Jacob, it didn't sound like Quil or Embry either, it had to be another wolf. The body was too big to not be.

"I don't doubt it" the body eventually told her softly, "still, you probably should be getting inside."

She shrugged, then realised after that he probably couldn't see the shrug. She breathed in deeply, turning her head towards the sea for a final time. The wind had not let up, it still battered against her, still whipped the ocean into a frenzy against the land. She turned then and began to retrace her steps, still walking through the shallow water. She supposed that it didn't matter about her feet now. It was when she was nearly at the point where she had walked down towards the ocean that she realised that the towering body had followed her.

She wished the cold would go away, maybe she would be more aware then, aware of her surroundings, aware that a large man was following her. Logically she should have been scared; her self-preservation button should have been pressed. Maybe he had been right, maybe she didn't have one. Maybe though, she thought, she did have one but this towering body simply wasn't a threat. Maybe she trusted her gut in knowing he wasn't going to attack her.

"Are you following me?" She asked as she reached her shoes. Her feet were too sandy to bother to put them on so she picked them up as she carried on walking to the edge of the sand.

"Yes" the towering body replied. She could hear the smirk in his response. She shrugged again, before realising once more that he couldn't see her.

They didn't talk until they walked off the sand. The hard and cold ground stung her feet, it shot up her legs. She almost wanted to jump up and down. So cold it almost burnt. Bizarrely that was nice; it felt good to feel a changing temperature. To feel something of the resemblance of heat.

"I'm parked over here" the towering voice informed her.

She looked up at him, still clouded by the darkness, "That is nice for you" It felt nice to be sarcastic, felt like she was engaging with something.

She got the feeling that he was sending her a withering look, but she was guessing.

"Very funny, come on, I'll even put the heat on" he eventually told her.

"Huh?" she was aware that the lack of movement was causing her feet to feel colder, that her already cold body was feeling stiff, her blood felt cold, like it was solidifying.

"Don't be stupid Bella" the towering voice told her as he began to walk in the direction she assumed his car was. She still remained still; she half thought that she couldn't move, that her muscles may have frozen. It wasn't until she saw the car illuminated by the inside light that she found herself able to walk towards the car. The cold ground still sent shocks up her legs as she walked but this time she wasn't as conscious of it. It wasn't until she was sat in the passenger seat that she properly looked at the towering body who seemed to take up most of the car. He was studying her with a light smile that didn't quite meet his eyes.

It was Paul, she remembered Jacob telling her that he was the most volatile, the one that kept the wolf the closest to the surface, but he didn't seem that way sat in the car. He seemed big and large and dominating but not scary. Meeting his eyes, she smiled gently in thanks.

"Sorry, I'm getting sand in your car" She told him, tugging out her ponytail to redo it higher on her head and tighter since the wind had loosened it.

"We live on the coast" he told her in reply. He was still looking at her, following her hands as she tied her hair. It was only when she settled her hands into her lap, conscious of the hot air the car was producing, wishing it would permeate her body, that it would actually warm her up, that Paul smiled truly, this time with it reaching his eyes gently. He didn't say anything else, instead he turned back to look out the front window, taking the car out of park and slowly creeping away from the beach.

She just let the still warm air of the car surround her, wishing it would be more comforting but still enjoying how it surrounded her ice cold bubble. It took a while until she realised he wasn't driving towards Forks but instead deeper into La Push.

"Where we going?" She asked, sitting up straighter as she looked out the window.

He didn't reply straight away, eventually though as he slowed down he quickly glanced at her, "Mine."

She studied him hard as he pulled the car up in front of a pretty average looking La Push house and turned the ignition off.

"Why?"

He didn't make a move to leave the car, instead he just looked at her, "Jacob mentioned that The Chief was away, can't have you alone if you get ill" he offered in explanation. He didn't offer anything else, he just left the car.

She thought about staying put. Going into a strange man's house was not on the sensible list but he was a Wolf, he was safe and she couldn't seem to shake the idea that it might be worth going in.

She waited in the doorway of his house. He had turned the light on but had disappeared. The living room looked comfortable and friendly, mismatched furniture that didn't look out of place.

"Are you in or out Swan?" His voice came from deep inside the house.

She looked down at her feet, coated in wet sand still.

"Forget about the damn sand" his voice seemed closer now. Looking up she saw him leaning against the back of one of the sofas. "Bathroom is the 2nd right" he said, indicating down the corridor to her left, "Have a shower. I left a towel on the side and some clothes."

"Ummm" she whispered, not really sure what to say. His attitude towards her was confusing. But his house was warm and the idea of washing the sand off was attractive, "thanks."

He didn't reply as he watched her walk away.

The bathroom was very white, she would have to clean the tiled floors after she washed, the sand on them would be obvious.

Her clothes were stiff with cold, the bottom of her jeans soaking wet. She dumped them all in a pile next to the toilet, clocking the large towel hanging over the seat as she did. She should have been colder, standing naked in a tiled bathroom but the she felt no different. The cold was still bone deep.

The hot water of the shower didn't remove the cold. There was a part of her that thought that it would this time. But it didn't. The sand was washed away down the plug though, her skin felt better for it, less grainy, smoother even as she used the single bar of white soap on the shelf.

She was still cold.

"Hot chocolate?" he offered her as she entered the kitchen that stood off the living room.

She just smiled in reply. While he went back to boiling the milk she realised that he had changed into jogging bottom but was still shirtless as was usual.

As she watched him stir in the powder she shivered slightly. Her toes still cold, her fingers still stiff, her body still ice. The hot chocolate wouldn't help that, she had tried before. She wished it would help, that getting rid of the cold was that easy.

She was occupied in her own thoughts to such an extent that she didn't realise that Paul was standing offering her a cup of steaming liquid.

Her fingers gently brushed his as she took the mug, shocking her to the bone.

The heat from that small brush remained on her hand as she held the mug.

It remained.

She felt the heat of the mug only through that point of contact. She couldn't take her eyes off her fingers. It was the first time she had felt the heat since September.

She relished in it.

She wanted it to seep into every bone, cell and orifice. She wanted it to never leave; she had wished for the heat but had forgotten how glorious it was.

"Bella" Paul's gentle voice took her out of her thoughts, "You okay?" his voice was tinged with concern as he studied her.

She did not know what to say, how to explain, how to say that she wanted the heat all over. That she had missed it, that she wanted it never to leave again. That would be odd though, he would think she was crazy and she was too scared to say it. Just as she had been too scared to call Angela earlier. She was scared and she hated it. She just nodded instead, sending him a small smile as she did.

He made no effort to move, he kept looking at her before he pushed himself from leaning against the table and gestured towards the large looking sofa.

The fire in front of them was beginning to grow; she could feel the heat creeping towards her as she perched on the edge of his sofa. Paul dominated the other end. He leant against the side, his legs on the seat, bent only so his feet didn't touch her. She focused on the growing flames, gripping the mug, hoping the heat that had touched her fingers would spread. She lost track of the time, focused only on the flames in front of her.

"Hey" Paul said gently, as he did his foot gently pressed against her thigh.

She jumped, her face pulled from the flame and to stare at him before flittering down to her leg. The point where his toes had touched her was full of heat just as her fingers had been, spreading slightly along her leg. She couldn't take her eyes off it. It was more glorious than her fingers. She wanted it to spread, to warm her blood.

"You are warm" she eventually said in response, still staring at the point on her leg.

"Oh, yeah, sorry" he seemed embarrassed as he ran a hand through his short hair, his eyes didn't leave her's though as she met his.

"No, I mean..." she stumbled over the words, "it is nice" she offered him a small smile.

She wanted to beg him to wrap her up in him. To touch every part of her, to see if the heat would reach her bones, to see if it would remain. Hoping that it would force the cold away, never letting it enter her again.

He studied her, making no attempt to cover it up. He placed his mug on a table carefully before shifting his body so he sat more upright.

"Hug?" he offered.

The words shocked her, she didn't know him, he didn't know her, it was an odd thing to offer a relative stranger. But she welcomed it, welcomed the offer, welcomed the offer of affection. She knew it was only out of politeness, out of concern for her being so cold.

She obviously had taken too long in responding because Paul took the mug straight out of her hands himself, "come on Swan, Jacob will have my pelt if I didn't at least try to warm you up," teasing laced his voice that was still tinged with concern.

The heat was glorious.

It spread and gripped every part of her that touched him.

She felt like it should burn, the shock of it, but it didn't.

Her body wanted more and more

She wanted it in every cell in her body.

She had tried to stay stiff against his arm, simply per-functionary but the minute her side had touched him she was lost.

The heat was too seductive, too welcoming, too wanted, too needed.

She was weak at its power, she had no willpower.

She sunk into him, relishing in the warmth he offered, the way it encompassed all of her. She buried further into him, causing him to pull her further into him, gripping his arm more firmly around her.

It wasn't just the heat she relished in but the comfort he offered. The uncompromising grip he had as he held her, the feel of his hard but still welcoming body next to hers.

Edward had once talked of her being heroin, she now knew what he meant. This was addictive, the heat, the comfort, the strength.

Time passed.

They just remained in the same position. Paul made no move to change their arrangement, his grip never lessened; she never made a move away from him. She wanted to bury further into him, get the warmth to truly penetrate her. She wanted the heat to go deeper. It wasn't enough just yet; she still didn't feel 'normal' the cold was too strong to be dislodged so easily.

"Warmed up?" His voice was gentle, deeper from the quite they were in

She just nodded, turning her head into him, trying to warm the other side of her face. Every time part of her skin touched him it was glorious, the heat imbedding itself into her.

"Bella?" He jerked his chest so she had to peer up at him.

He was studying her so intensely, running his eyes over every inch of her face. Shock ran though her when he settled on her lips, hovering around them for a while before flittering back to her eyes.

She could feel them moving closer, the space between them becoming smaller.

She shouldn't be doing this.

She shouldn't be about to kiss a man she didn't know. She shouldn't want to be consumed by a man with the reputation Paul possessed. She should be pulling back; she shouldn't be so absorbed in him.

All the doubt though evaporated with the heat the moment his lips touched hers. It was hesitant to begin with, his warm lips burnt against her cold ones, his warm breathe against her was glorious, is seeped into her pores. The moment his tongue brushed against her lower lip, she was done.

Any residual doubt she had vanished the moment his tongue breached the opening of her mouth. Having the heat within her was so intoxicating, so addictive and she never wanted it to leave, she wanted it to consume her completely. This would dispel the cold; it would banish it back to where it belonged.

Her musings were interrupted when Paul's large and warm hands manhandled her over him, so she was forced to straddle his large lap.

She was aware of noises being admitted from her but she was too consumed in the heat to be conscious of them. Too wrapped up in the feel of the warmth against her thigh, the burn of his hands as they gripped her neck and back. The scorch under her hands as they ran over his bare chest, the bubble of heat that surround them.

She was warm but it wasn't enough. The warmth was sublime but it needed to be more, it needed to be a blaze, it needed to be harsher, it needed to truly seep into her bones, deep within her.

Paul had lost any resemblance of politeness, any element of restraint as his mouth grew more intense against her, as his hands burnt the skin under her t-shirt, so hot it should have left burn marks, He pulled her closer, trying it seemed to pull her into his very skin. His mouth left a trail of burning skin as he ran it over her chin, her neck, down to her clavicle, over her shoulders before returning to her neck where he settled, pulling the skin into his mouth, scorching it.

She didn't know what to do, it was all so new, so unknown. All she knew was that she didn't want it to stop. The heat that he offered was too intoxicated.

She gripped his shoulders, relishing the taught muscles under her hands, the heat that emanated from them as she held them.

The heat given from his mouth was pulled from her suddenly, before she had a chance to comprehend what was happening, her t-shirt was pulled over her head with violence, he didn't stop to ask permission as he threw it away or when he swiftly and expertly disposed of her bra.

She should be embarrassed, she should be shielding her nipples from his piercing gaze; she shouldn't be straddling a bare chested man she had only met a few hours before.

She didn't seem to care though.

The part of her that had been told to not act like this had long since been too intoxicated by the heat to care or function.

She was too exhilarated by the headiness of the heat he offered.

It wasn't until his head dipped down and enveloped her left nipple that she became more aware of what they were doing.

She was too far gone to care.

Her back arched of its own accord as he sucked.

Her hand ran through his hair as his teeth grazed her

Her hips ground into him without thought as he moved to give the same treatment to her right nipple. His large hand gripped her waist, doing nothing to stop her hips.

She wasn't warm enough though, she still needed to be warmer, to be burnt from the inside out. She needed the heat to consume her, to devour her.

Paul seemed to understand, or maybe he felt the same, maybe he felt the same need to be closer than they were, to be consumed.

"Bella..." His voice came out with a strain as he pulled his lips off her chest. His eyes were hooded and dark. His chest thumbing under his skin, his breath coming out in short bursts.

This was her get out, she could pull away, tell him to stop but the heat was too wonderful. The intoxicating shocks of heat caused by being close to him were too addictive; the way her body reacted to him was too exciting to ever let him stop.

"Just shut up Paul" Her response felt so foreign from her lips but not wrong. The heat had caused a shift, a shift she relished. This felt like the ocean had, that this was life hitting her, forcing her to participate, filling her with its heat. She never wanted it to leave.

He smirked at her, pinching her nipple causing her body to jerk, "With pleasure" he smirked before pulling her neck down to grasp her lips in-between his teeth once more.

His ministrations never let up, they gripped her skin, his hands were uncompromising as they ran over her stomach as her hips moved against him.

He shifted under her, meeting her. She could feel the hardness under his jogging bottoms, a hardness that felt wonderful against her.

The heat where they met was almost too much, but it wasn't. She wanted it to be more, she wanted it to be bigger, stronger more encompassing. She rotated against him. It only served to spur him on more, running his nails down her back, over her nipples and stomach as he gripped her neck locking her into place.

She felt pliable under him; his manhandling only caused voices to be expelled from her now warmed neck that she had never heard before.

The cold rug under her back caused her to arch away from the floor. Paul had forced them onto the floor, depositing her unceremoniously on the floor in front of the fire. His graze was intense on her skin as she lay below him, even his eyes seemed to warm her.

She was half conscious that she could feel the heat form the fire but it paled in comparison to his hands peeling off her borrowed shorts and knickers in one, throwing them over his shoulder.

His eyes were dark as he studied her exposed body.

She should have been embarrassed that she lay naked on his floor but the heat had taken away any shyness.

His presence was too intoxicating, it made her feel to alive, too warm, too everything.

A smirk graced his face, "Fuck."

Her mouth lay open slightly, her chest thumping away, her body on edge to what he would do next. How he would keep the warmth permeating every cell in her body.

He started with her mouth, kissing her passionately, forcing his tongue against hers.

His lips ran down her neck, taking short nips at the skin.

Her body moved without thought, her hands running over every part of his body that she could reach.

He moved down to attack her nipples once more, causing her back to arch further off the floor, forcing him to suck harder. He ran her now hard nipple over the edge of his teeth while his hand snaked down over her stomach causing it to contract. He didn't stop, he kept moving his scolding hand downwards, resting for a split second on her soft trimmed curls, his pause was fleeting. He shifted to the other nipple as his fingers slipped down, touching her gently, circling her hood with expertise.

She had never felt heat like it.

Never felt so warm

She wanted it to never end.

She wanted it to remain this scolding

This searing.

His mouth had left her nipples, travelling down over her soft stomach, his fingers never stopping their circulation as the other traced her opening. The heat leaked out of her.

It was glorious.

His mouth kept going until it reached his first fingers. His tongue reaching her clit caused her to jump off the floor and sink further into it at the same time.

He was lazy in his movements, tracing over every part carefully, always returning to gently suck her clit into his mouth before leaving it once more.

His hands gripped her hips, anchoring her, controlling her.

She relished it.

Relished the control that vibrated off him with the heat

Relished in the scalding heat that he offered.

He tore his mouth away suddenly, retracing his previous path, eventually covering her body completely with his.

Every part of his body covered her, locking the heat between them. His tongue was harsh in her mouth, unstoppable.

The heat was glorious under her hands as she tried and failed to pull him further into her, she settled instead for pushing at the elastic of his trousers. It was unconscious. The heat had evaporated conscious thought away.

It had burnt the doubt to nothing more than ash

The heat was too glorious to ignore, too much but yet not enough.

His hips rotated more as her hands slipped down, causing her to be pushed further into the warm floor under them.

"Fuck" This time it came out half strangled from Paul's throat as he pulled his lips off hers.

He just looked at her, his hot and short breath hitting her face. His dark eyes studied her, piercing into her. She should have shrunk away from it but it only served to warm her further, causing deep scolding shockwaves down her body.

When he pulled away, a blast of cooler air attacked her body.

It shocked her. The heat had been so consuming.

She wanted it back, wanted the cold air to be banished.

Her arms moved without thought up towards him, she needed him back to banish the air, to destroy the cold that threatened.

"Patience Swan."

She didn't have any though. She needed him back.

The fire next to them was dying and she dreaded that the heat within her would as well. That the heat would go the way of the glowing embers.

He could bring it back though. She knew he could. He could bring back the heat if only he came back. If his body covered hers again he could fight it off.

The heat was back.

His hard and all-encompassing body was back coating hers with a blanket of heat.

He was all heat.

He drove her further into the floor with his kisses, his hands were everywhere, burning her skin as they moved over her body, stroking, pinching , gripping.

She couldn't keep track of his movements, it all felt so hot, so glorious, every touch burnt anew.

His ministrations slowed.

He was hard against her.

The idea that the heat could be inside her was too seductive.

Her hips moved up towards him.

The heat slipped into her.

It wasn't deep enough.

The heat of his body forced her to open more.

Her hips rose further off the floor.

His hands gripped her hips.

He slipped further into him.

Pain is subjective.

She should have whimpered as he entered her, should have been focused on the foreignness, on the bizarre feeling of something hard invading her.

The heat was too strong though.

The warmth spread from within her.

It was more powerful than any pain.

Her body moved instinctively as his did.

The heat was all encompassing

His grip tightened.

His movements became more haphazard.

The heat was coming from within her.

Every cell within her was warm, rising in temperature.

A hand pinched a nipple as the heat spread.

It grew and the fire embers faded.

The heat forced her eyes to open.

Hit her with such force. He was the waves and she was the sand.

The boiling waves battered against her, fighting against her body. Her body forced into his and he hammered against.

The waves of heat got bigger as she was forced further into the floor.

Her hands gripped his back, burning her palms.

The waves grew.

His movements became harder, quicker, warmer.

She should have been aware of the noise coming from him as he shifted, his mouth latching onto her shoulder as his hips grew more erratic

.

The heat was unbearable

He pulled her further in, sucking harder on her neck before he stopped and held her to him.

The waves had stopped but the heat remained.

It seeped out of her not just where they connected but from every cell, every part of her body. It settled into every molecule, every atom within her body.

It was some comforting.

She had wanted the heat for so long but she had forgotten what it felt like to be truly warm. To be able to feel the warmth in the air.

His hand traced her side, warming the skin under it. She wanted to crawl into it, to be consumed and never let it go, for it to remain always. She didn't need to talk, there were no words to describe the warmth. It was too good for words, to glorious to be described adequately.

She curled into him, his nails gently tracing her spine, the affection was sublimely deafening.

She was warm