A/N: I literally had no time to write this (in a play) so I wrote this super fast and poorly. I'm sorry but… here is your dribble :D Next holiday is… Easter?

Roses Are Re- Really Morgana?

Arthur had been slightly more than skeptical when Morgana told him they were going out to eat on Valentine's day. It wasn't exactly the holiday for siblings to dine out or a holiday he felt like celebrating anyway.

All that pink and glitter made him feel like he was stuck in the nightmare of a toddler's favorite coloring book. Who ever thought inventing glitter crayons was a good idea anyway?

Therefore it was almost anticlimactic when he saw Merlin sitting at the table they were walking to, turned away from the door and speaking with Gwen.

He still felt the need to sigh when they locked eyes.

Merlin too shared the sentiment because his sigh was twice as dramatic as Arthur's, cutting off Gwen's greeting.

"Why am I not surprised?" Arthur mumbled and turned to his sister. "Morgana when are you going to stop?"

"Um. I don't know." She smiled sweetly as Gwen got up and she pushed him into the empty seat. "When you get your head out of your ass maybe."

Merlin turned towards the exit but there was no way around the tall wall of intense sisterly meddling. He smiled and said, "We all know that's not going to happen. He hasn't seen the light since the day he was born."

"Huh." Arthur righteously kicked Merlin's shin. "I would have thought that was you with the way you're dressed today. Seriously. I know ugly sweaters are a thing for Christmas, but really? Did you sew those hearts on yourself?"

Merlin looked down at his read and white sweater, perfectly acceptable for getting into the holiday spirit. "Why do you have such issues with my clothes?"

"Because they're always awful."

Merlin kicked Arthur that time.

"Boys," Morgana said sternly but they both ignored her. "Behave."

They continued to glare at each other so Gwen jumped in with, "Dinner is already paid for so you may as well enjoy it."

"And it was expensive, so you will." Morgana added. "Or I'll pass around that photo of certain someones in a very particular closet doing very scandalous somethings at the New Year's party."

"I thought you deleted that," Arthur growled.

"Off my phone, yes. I had." Morgana smiled.

Then they glared and glared and glared. To the point where Merlin and Gwen shared a worried look and Gwen poked Morgana as Merlin kicked at Arthur.

"It had better be very expensive," Arthur threatened with his fork raised.

Morgana was unperturbed.

Arthur continued to point with his fork as he said, "I don't know what you hope to happen here but Valentine's day is just like every other. I'm not going to magically do as you want just because I'm surrounded by reds and pinks and- I'm sorry. Is that a glitter crayon, Merlin?!"

Merlin looked up from the drawing he had been doing on the restaurant's table paper. The doodles had mostly been of badass unicorns and elves, though he could see how the glitter made the elves look like cupids. "It's the only crayons they have out!" he said and gestured towards the cup.

"Why are you drawing? How old are you, five?"

Merlin gave him another smack in the shin. Arthur took solace in knowing at least his bruises would be matching ones.

"Alright!" Morgana said and clapped her hands together, pulling Gwen towards the exit. "Let's leave these two lovebirds alone. Maybe one of the ceiling hearts will fall on their heads and knock some sense into them. I'll check in on you guys later. Be nice!"

"Bye guys!" Gwen shouted over her shoulder.

Merlin and Arthur snapped their attention to one another the moment the girls were out of sight.

Merlin spoke first, "You do realize that they are going to be watching us through the window."

"I am aware," Arthur gestured towards the window near their table and the clear easy access the girls would have from across the street. "You want to pretend we're arguing just to make them mad?"

"That depends."

"On?"

"Do you really not like this sweater?"

Arthur rolled his eyes, "It looks like a shitzu ate a bag of Sweetarts and threw them up all over your chest."

"You are the Scrooge of love, you know that?"

"I will take that to heart."

"Oh, so you do have one?"

"I said pretend to argue, not actually argue."

"Sorry, it's just so easy with you." Merlin kicked out again but Arthur was ready and got him back first. As he hissed through the pain, Merlin asked, "Why does your sister and Gwen keep pushing this anyway?"

"Who knows what goes on in that malevolent mind of hers. She's been single too long and wants to live vicariously through me. She swears we share a bond or something just as ridiculous."

"Gwen told me it was our chemistry. Whatever that means."

"Hmm. You would need some form of chemicals to make someone fall for you, wouldn't you?"

"Are you saying I can't get anyone without drugging them?"

"If the chloroform smells-" Arthur was cut off by Merlin's glitter crayon hitting him square in the face. Arthur chuckled and gestured towards the pink and red drawings. "Don't worry. I'm sure you'll find someone else who loves donkeys just as much as you do."

"They're unicorns."

Arthur snorted, "Even better. Princess," and then burst out in a fit of uncontrollable giggles which caused Merlin to throw his spoon at him as well.

Meanwhile, across the street, Morgana threw up her arms. "They're not even holding hands! They're just arguing! That's it. Kidnapping it is."

Gwen sighed, "Morgana-"

"If they won't even hold hands on the most romantic day of the year-" She gaped like a fist out of water and then decided with a sharp nod, "This requires some drastic measures."

"I am not helping you break the law."

"Is it really breaking the law if it's your friend you're kidnapping?"

"Yes!"

Morgana groaned aloud and shook her fists at the two idiots in the window, mentally trying to shove their faces together. "I just ship them so hard."

"I know." Gwen sighed and pat her arm. "You're still not kidnapping them. Now let's get somewhere warm. You can bother them for details tomorrow."

Gwen did not like the look in Morgana's eye as she led the way down the street for their girl's only, drunken Valentine's day fun. She even felt a bit of pity at the thought of what was in store for those two.

Back in the restaurant, the two continued to argue over the coolest fantasy creatures, taking turns kicking until Arthur had enough and locked his ankles around Merlin's.

They were both smiling as the waiter brought over their orders and in that moment had simultaneously decided to omit the footsie part of the night from their retelling to Morgana and Gwen in the morning, no matter how many times the girls asked about their flinching whenever anyone came too close to their shins.