All right, I got several reviews asking when this was going to update, despite the fact that I'd marked it as a one-shot, you silly silly people

well, you're in luck: I had an idea, and realized that it could be used as a second chapter for this story

so this is now officially a series of one-shots set through Seras' life as a vampire, the upshot of which is that I am now officially calling for suggestions

Also: for those of you wondering about Blood Moon Rewrite, fear not for the current chapter is about 80% finished, I just need to finish out the last two little bits. The hard part is going to be the next chapter, for which I have to create an actual introduction for Uryuu Ishida because Quetzelcoatls didn't

but that's enough about that, on with the show

(note: I accidentally deleted the first chapter instead of updating it and had to get creative to get everything back in place, this is not the updated chapter, chapter 1 is)

(also: this chapter has now been updated as well, thanks to Moontan for giving me the idea)

It should have been raining.

For one, funerals were simply meant to be held in the rain, it was like an unwritten law of reality. Of course, the real reason Seras was annoyed was that as a newborn vampire she had to resort to extreme measures to keep from bursting into flames where she stood, which meant the head-to-toe covering of her full mourning dress, oh well, at least it would help hide her identity.

See, by all rights she shouldn't be here. Not only was this no longer her world, but this was a memorial service for those who had died in the village of Cheddar that night, and she was one of those people. And so as she listened to grieving widows, parents, and children lamenting the passing of their loved ones, she couldn't help but feel a small measure of guilt. After all, the only reasons she was still upright and walking around were luck, circumstances, and a certain capricious vampire.

Speaking of whom, he had seemed somewhat perplexed that she had wanted to attend this service. She was a vampire now, a creature of the night, why would she ever want to look back? Perhaps it had simply been too long since he was human, the very concept of mourning seemed to baffle him. He'd lost everything so long ago, what was the point of dwelling on the past?

Integra, on the other hand, had understood. This was her last chance to say goodbye to the life she lost, to the people she had come to know and trust as her comrades in arms. And so, Integra had given her the day off to finish severing her ties to life she used to live.

Being an orphan made it easier she supposed, she had no family left behind to mourn her passing, no teary faces questioning God as to why he saw fit to tear her away from this life so soon, just 19 years old and with her whole life ahead of her, a promising career in a special operations police unit cut short just like that.

She wasn't sure she'd have been able to prevent herself from standing up and shouting "I'm still here!", as badly as that would have gone. So yes, all for the best then. And even as it was, it was hard not to try to comfort the families of those who had been lost, to tell them that she would remember them for as long as she lived, and there was every chance that was going to be a good long time yet. But she was supposed to be dead, and in every way that really mattered she was dead.

so she stayed silent, and tried to ignore the guilt that was steadily eating at her. to call it "survivor's guilt" was a bit of a misnomer, given that she hadn't actually survived, but why split hairs? she was still here, and they were gone.

But that just raised the question didn't it? Alucard hadn't needed to save her, hadn't needed to turn her. So why? What was it he had seen in her?

Well, either he would tell her or he wouldn't, no real point dwelling on it, who knew how the centuries-old vampire thought? Perhaps if she managed to live as long as he had she might begin to understand, but for now it was best put out of mind.

and so she did.

And when the service finished, she got up, walked out of the church, and left the world of the living for good.

The rain was a welcome relief.

she hadn't known these people very well, being one of Hellsing's secret weapons meant that her social life was just this side of "nonexistent", but she did know that they had all given their lives trying to protect her, her master, and the members of the round table council. As such, she felt she owed them all this much at least.

The only thing she'd been able to do as a vampire was put down their torn and broken bodies when they'd risen again as ghouls, and she honestly wasn't sure whether or not she felt guilty about that. On the one hand, she had nearly lost herself in bloodlust, tearing them apart with her bare hands, but then they .

Seras was certain of two things: one was that this was far from the last time she was going to be faced with such a moral quandary, and the other was that she wasn't going to enjoy those to come any much more than she was this one.

The service was simple, there were no families in attendance, just the handful of surviving soldiers, only alive by virtue of having been off the premises at the time of the attack.

Even if Seras hadn't known these people personally, such massive loss of life got to her.

You see, dying had given her something of a new perspective on life, and a new appreciation for just how precious life. Something about being a creature of death that fed on life had forced her to see just how important all aspects of life were.

perhaps that was why she had so much trouble drinking blood.

It was one thing to know on an intellectual level that she was no longer human, and that she was a predator whose primary source of food was humans. It was another thing entirely to be faced with the prospect of drinking blood. She knew she would have to at some point, else she would starve, but that didn't make it any easier to ignore the little voice inside her telling her that this was wrong.

But that was neither here nor there right now, and as the short service ended, Seras made a silent vow never to let anything like this happen again.

not while she had the power to stop it.

The sun no longer bothered her.

so many things had been lost that night, among them her left arm, her blue eyes, and the last shreds of her humanity.

However, even among all the pain and loss, something had been gained.

"why in the world would they put me in a suit to bury me?"

Pip Bernadotte may have lost his life, but Seras had managed to keep his soul. Drinking his blood, freely given, had granted her power which, while still a pale imitation of her missing master's, was more than enough to send the remnants of Millenium screaming down to the abyss, this time for certain.

"you know as well as I do that it's about respect. You gave your life for Queen and Country after all, the powers that be figured that was the least they could do to honor your memory"

"that's bullshit and you know it"

"I know that, and you know that, but try convincing them of that. Besides, you look good in a suit"

"Bah, there's no point flattering me, I'm stuck with you for the rest of time remember?"

"or at least until someone manages to kill me"

"well yes, but we both know how unlikely that is"

And the good-natured bickering continued on in that vein unabated, unheard by any of the few other mourners at this small state-sponsored affair. Pip had had no living family left, all of them having given their lives under similar circumstances, fighting like dogs for employers who barely knew them, all for the promise of a few dollars. And so the only mourners were a handful of military officials and the remnants of the Wild Geese. All of whom knew the truth: that the good Captain was not truly gone, but living on in the form of the small blonde girl in the front pew, seemingly lost in thought.

However, all this really meant was that this was not the true funeral for the man known as Pip Bernadotte. No, that would come later, most likely at some sleazy bar where the beer was cheap and the women were easy, telling tall tales and half-truths and seeing just how far they could aggrandize his image before Seras started shouting them down. Or perhaps he would even manage to materialize, drinking with his men one last time before they all parted ways.

well, whatever happened, it was going to be a night to remember. A night of revelry and remembrance that would only end with the coming of the dawn.

It was hard to believe that she was gone

Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing had been a fixture in Seras' life since the night she'd died, and contemplating a world without the iron-willed firebrand in it just seemed...wrong. In many ways it was the end of an era, the Hellsing Organization, as per Sir Integra's wishes, would be taken over by the civilian government, the time of lords and knights having long since passed.

But then, where did that leave two tame vampires? or...well...one and a half, Alucard always had been one to push the limits of authority. But that really just brought the point into sharper focus. Seals or no, Integra had been the only human that Alucard had deemed truly worthy of being his master. An unbreakable will, capable of burning the world to ash if she deemed it necessary to fulfill her goals, and she was his, no one else's but his. Her death may have freed him from his bonds, but he would forever be bound by the memory of her. However, the loss of the seals still meant that he was now free to do as he pleased.

Fortunately "what he pleased" turned out to be "go back to Romania and terrorize people there". Which, while not exactly ideal, at least moved the problem far enough away that it could be safely ignored.

As for Seras, she'd never needed any kind of coercion to fight for humanity, and even now, free vampire that she was, she intended to continue doing just that.

And so as she sat there in the darkness of the church, long after all the other mourners had left, she vowed to protect humanity with all that she was, she rather doubted that the newly reformed Hellsing Organization would tolerate keeping one of the very monsters it was made to fight in it's employ, but that was fine. There were other options available to her.

Even if she had to fight alone with no support at all, she would continue to be the light against the darkness

In the end she never stopped going to the funerals

It turned out that her fears had been unfounded after all. Hellsing worked the way it was, why fix what wasn't broken? And so as the years went by and Hellsing changed hands time and time again, each new director would find Seras Victoria waiting for them, ready to offer her knowledge and expertise. Some were more willing to accept her help than others, but then she had expected that, and it wasn't as if she couldn't leave if things got too bad, benefits of never having been bound.

And as the decades turned to centuries, slowly, inexorably, Seras Victoria forgot her human life. But even then she still never missed a funeral, she refused to forget the value of a human life. And after all, they say no one ever truly dies until they are forgotten, and Seras would remember for a very long time.

yeah I'm playing a bit fast and loose with canon here, but it's more fun this way

anyway yeah, I'm much happier with this now

see guys? This is why you feed me reviews: sometimes I give you things because of them!