a/n: Revisions: Sentence-level edits.
Hello, I'm back! Chapters 1 and 2 have been posted.
Here's the update schedule: I'm going to post up to Chapter 5 (where we left off), one chapter every two to three days, so we'll be up to speed by the end of the week. After that, updates will come as soon as I'm done with the next next chapter, i.e. I'll post Chapter 6 once I'm done writing Chapter 7, to ensure a steady flow of updates. In the case that I don't finish, I'll post the next chapter two weeks after the last, so the longest you'll have to wait is two weeks. Thank you for waiting!
Chapter 1: Polaris
It had been a quiet thing, revolution.
But for the people of the Southern Isles, revolution was an inevitable truth. Theirs was a kingdom lumbering towards its death, a stagnant beast bloated and laboring for breath. One day, they knew, it would fall. Deep in their hearts they prayed for revolution, for deliverance—for change. And when the skies twisted from white to grey to black, when the billow of stormclouds gathered at the height of the castle, they would all bear witness to the face of their salvation.
A terrible, beautiful thing.
Sol had been there to witness it, the ascension of the queen who answered their prayers—the goddess who brought with her the light of the Polaris.
"My name is Anna, and I am your new queen."
Where she stood at the balcony, she could look down and see the gaggle of commoners congregated on the castle grounds. Not many were present.
Fear was a completely rational thing.
Anna surveyed the small crowd and found them unremarkable, save, perhaps, for the one wide-eyed girl who had the gall to return her gaze and even smiled. Anna curled her lips. Treacherous, this one. There was a rot there, festering beneath the surface; and it reminded her of him. But she didn't matter at all, and he certainly didn't anymore, because he was part of her but also gone. Anna forgot the face of that girl as soon as her gaze moved on, and she looked now to the trembling soldiers, the shuddering peasants. Not many at all, and standing so high above them, Anna spoke too quietly to be heard even by those few; but everyone in the Southern Isles would know her voice regardless.
It carried on the winds of her storm to every stone, every home.
Anna moved her finger and the Mirror cast its light throughout the kingdom, so that the people could see her image, witness her as she was—perfection. She could hear the mortals gasping for breath below.
"Elsa has tormented you all long enough," Anna said.
It was true even for Anna. At this very moment, that beautiful snowflake heart thrummed in time with her own. With every trickle of blood that ran through her veins, Anna felt a rush of warmth; and with every pulse of her heart, she felt such love for Elsa that she could barely stand, could barely breathe. Just the thought of Elsa brought a thrill, and she reveled in the pleasure as much as she reviled its sin.
"I come to deliver you now."
She had been graced with deliverance as well. There was no more pain. That realization had dominated her mind since her rebirth: no more pain, no more aches in her heart, no more of the old hunger in her soul. Being free of it was ecstasy, pleasure distilled to its purest form. Every breath of air was ambrosia.
"From this moment on, I will be your protector, your savior…your goddess."
And she felt so powerful. For once in her life, she had control over her fate. Here and now, she was no longer a plaything to be positioned at the whim of others. She wasn't the girl taken from her home anymore…or the boy robbed of his future. She could do anything. With nary a thought the elements obeyed her will. She could move the wind and the sky as though they were her limbs. She was the world.
"Watch," Anna said, letting her audience see the image that she could see, the solitary ship sailing its desperate escape. Elsa. "Watch as your oppressor sinks to the bottom of the ocean, and know freedom."
These were her words, of course, not her own. Anna had never learned how to put on an air of regality, and Edmund had always worn his mask of naivety, but Elsa was noble. Elsa exuded nobility as though it were her birthright. Anna would carry this part of Elsa even after her passing. Their hearts would beat as one for the rest of eternity…so she wasn't killing Elsa, not really. She was setting her free of a shell. What was important…was already here, with her, forever.
Don't be afraid, Elsa.
You'll be with me, always.
Anna danced.
And all those present witnessed the divine judgment exacted by their new goddess, as the sky tore apart like a gaping maw and revealed the tempest within its starless depths. There would be no reprieve from this. Even the ancient earth shook from the force of her magic, this magic that bent all things to her will, ripped them asunder and remade them at her whim. It would be seared into their minds—the memory of absolute power, the vengeful majesty of a goddess.
Anna danced, and lightning howled.
Feeling even this fraction of her divinity would no doubt drive the weakest of these mortal men into madness, as her magic seared through the fragile tissue of their minds. It hardly mattered. At the end of it all, there was the suffocating heat of a ship set ablaze, the crushing darkness of a pitch-black sea; and then, finally, silence. Relief from the ecstasy of torture that was her magic.
It was over in a second.
Elsa was dead.
Could you feel my love for you…?
In your last, perfect moments…?
"Let there be light," Anna murmured, wiping away the tears that had fallen, and the twisted canvas of the sky unraveled. Released from the horror of her magic, her spectators dropped to their knees. There they lay, prostrate, foreheads pressed to the snow, mewling and keening incoherent words of praise.
These were her people, howling and echoing her despair.
Anna felt comforted that she was no longer alone.
Whatever light filtered through the stormclouds was cold on her skin, and that was a surprise. Even when she spread her arms wide and raised her head, let the sunlight wash over her face, she felt nothing. She doubted she would ever feel warm again. An unexpected drawback, but one she could accept. As light reflected over the snow, her silhouette became bathed in that pure white radiance.
And that was the Queen Anna who would be remembered by the Southern Isles.
She was…a beautiful sight.
A̱͔͉̙n̷̖̜̥n̷̖̜̥a͍̗̙̻͎͎͎̗ w̗̼̞͎̞͍̳͜͝a͙̱̗̜͖̹̤̙̥k̴̨̺͍̥̜̭̠͉͟ę̴̬̖̳ u҉̝̰͈p̷̰̫͍̼͓ p̷̰̫͍̼͓ļ͕̲̩̯͇̺͚è̜̗̫̯̜͖͎͟a̟̼̠̩s͜҉̠̞̖̰̞̜ ̸̪̦̭͔͕͖̪̪́e̶̮̳̠͝ .̞̩̗̬̼̰͙̜͟ͅ
A̱͔͉̙n̷̖̜̥n̷̖̜̥a͍̗̙̻͎͎͎̗ A̱͔͉̙n̷̖̜̥n̷̖̜̥a͍̗̙̻͎͎͎̗ A̱͔͉̙n̷̖̜̥n̷̖̜̥a͍̗̙̻͎͎͎̗
W̟̲͔̺͙͕̥̪h̷̸̤̜̙̹̰̺͎͘é̢̘̳͔̥̕h̷̸̤̜̙̹̰̺͎͘ y̴̧̡͇o҉̥̺̥ų͏̹̲̤̼͖̱ s͓͍̝̩͚̣̘a̢̫̥y̨̞͙͓̳̞ ̵͙t̷̯̕͠ḩ̶̫̼̕a͙̱̗̜͖̹̤̙̥t̷̠̗̺͉̜͈ n̹̺͟a̺͢m̵̟̖̜͚̺e̡̨͍̕҉̜͕
W̟̲͔̺͙͕̥̪h̷̸̤̜̙̹̰̺͎͘o̲̪̬͍̠͉͠ͅd̴̷̺͕o y̴̧̡͇o҉̥̺̥ų͏̹̲̤̼͖̱ m͝͏̬̯͇é̢̘̳͔̥̞̕a͏͍͓͎͉̻͕͍n̹̺͟?
"Hello, Elsa."
Against all odds, Elsa had returned—but Anna had been expecting her all the same.
She still had too much faith in the one she loved.
A storm of lightning and ice erupted between them, but despite the singing in her blood that came from battle, Anna had been distracted. Perhaps this would be insulting for Elsa, if she knew just how much; Anna knew how prideful she could be. Queen Elsa, always invincible; and now even at her best, she was not just matched but overpowered by the slightest effort. Anna appreciated the lengths that Elsa would go to, though. She adored the concentration on her face, the dedication, as they tore into each other.
Sometimes, distracted, Anna suffered wounds she ought not to. Ice in her flesh. Lightning in her bones. Not that it mattered she was beaten and broken; Anna relished every bit of pain that Elsa gifted. How very much like Elsa to be able to hurt the person she loved! Anna had expected nothing less. They were sharing in this pleasure together, the only constant of their lives. It was the purest form of love…punctured skin and broken bones, cruel words and shattered promises.
It was just unfortunate that Anna couldn't give as much to their battle.
She was still working on her magnum opus.
Let there be light.
"You didn't notice," Anna said, lying on the ground as her wounds healed, and Elsa whipped her head towards the Mirror which had supposedly lain dormant throughout their battle.
How careless, Anna thought, and she laughed at the familiar dismay on her face.
Pale light burst forth, striking the heavens with all the rage that she nurtured these long years, these unbearable years of frozen time. Because that was what her life had amounted to. Time had been frozen still from the moment she lost her heart, lost her self.
Time has always been stopped still inside…us.
They had never been more than that frightened boy locked in the dark…that terrified girl caught in the currents of something so much greater than her insignificant existence. Anna laughed louder as pain assailed her mind, as the schisms in her psyche widened and everything she knew bled together into a pulp, the two lives and the two sets of memories. So afraid…they had been so afraid…always, afraid…
Why shouldn't time be frozen for everyone else?
"Oblivion," Anna said.
"Please, Edmund." Elsa made a movement, minuscule, likely on reflex. Would she help her up? No. Elsa stopped as soon as Anna pulled herself to her feet, and it hurt to see Elsa so cautious. "Stop this."
You really don't see me then, do you…?
I'm still here, Elsa. I still love you like I did.
Anna laughed, tasting blood in her throat, and she swallowed it along with her amusement and distaste. Elsa was still saying that name, Edmund, like he was the only other person here. How deluded. But then, Anna had always loved that about Elsa. Elsa could delude herself better than anyone. How else would she have willingly created a reliquary, to not even realize what she had lost for so long? Still, they would be equals here. Elsa had finally done something of her own choice, and part of her heart had returned. Now if only she would admit the truth she knew just as well as Anna…
Such a laughable thought that Anna was unaware.
Anna knew that she wasn't just Anna anymore.
But did that matter at all? It meant nothing. She was still Anna. No, she was more like Anna than Anna had ever dared to be. All those years doing nothing, standing on the sidelines, weak and powerless…
She had found her lost time.
Light spilled down from the skies and radiated around the world. What she was bringing to life now dwarfed any feat of magic ever before performed. She would freeze the entire world. They could know the despair of nothingness and be free, free as she was now, knowing the truth of meaninglessness.
Bathe in the light and return to darkness…
This feeling… Like the floor is collapsing… Like the sky is falling down on me...
I know it well.
I know this feeling of despair, and now you'll know it too.
Anna closed her eyes.
"̴̧̳̠́T̢̹̥͝ḩ̶̫̼̕e̡̙͔͈ ̜͔̯̭̩̻̺̰͜͠r̷̻̮̘̺̜͜ȩ̗̙̩̞͉̦s̩̰̦̖͖̪̺̕ͅt̷̞ ̴̣̞͉̦͢ì̥̣̝͡s͍̮͖̭̝̗̪ ͏͏͍̻̯u̸͔̮͓͟͜p̞̯͕̻̪͢ ̛̫̤̻̪t̶̖̖ͅo͏̵̨̱͈̝͙͓̠̲ y̴̧̡͇o҉̥̺̥ų͏̹̲̤̼͖̱.
͈̝̳͇̫̙̠̗͢h̷̸̤̜̙̹̰̺͎͘o̲̪̬͍̠͉͠ͅp̷̰̫͍̼͓e̡̨͍̕ h̗͔̞̳̻͙a҉̦̺͖̟̫̦͎̀s̖̣͢͝ ҉̶̯͖͎̟͜ę̴̬̖̳n̹̺͟ḓ̣̫e̢̯͍̰̠̕͢d̴̷̺͕.̮̝͜͟͟ ͈̝̳͇̫̙̠̗͢
ḑ̨̞̤͕̲̞̜̹͖͈é̢̘̳͔̥̞̕ṣ̖͚̩̺̝́p̴͈̠a͍̗̙̻͎͎͎̗i̸͏̣̺̬̹̺r҉̩͕̪͢͜ ̹̣̳̬̹̼́ h̷̸̤̜̙̹̰̺͎͘o̲̪̬͍̠͉͠ͅp̷̰̫͍̼͓e̡̨͍̕ ḑ̨̞̤͕̲̞̜̹͖͈é̢̘̳͔̥̞̕ṣ̖͚̩̺̝́p̴͈̠a͍̗̙̻͎͎͎̗i̸͏̣̺̬̹̺r҉̩͕̪͢͜ ̹̣̳̬̹̼́ h̷̸̤̜̙̹̰̺͎͘o̲̪̬͍̠͉͠ͅp̷̰̫͍̼͓e̡̨͍̕ ḑ̨̞̤͕̲̞̜̹͖͈é̢̘̳͔̥̞̕ṣ̖͚̩̺̝́p̴͈̠a͍̗̙̻͎͎͎̗i̸͏̣̺̬̹̺r҉̩͕̪͢͜ ̹̣̳̬̹̼́
R͙̻͢e̷̛̙̳̳̙̟̤̼ͅm̸̴̛̠̰̮̰̟̼̘͖ḛ͈m҉̡͔b͙̝̥̫͈̫̟̱̮e̗͕̠͕̲͞r̵͕̮̮̤̟̞ ̝̜̲̺̙̠͇͙t̯́͝h̨͚̹̯̮͈̬̺͍͟͝ͅa̟̼̠̩̠t͙͉̪̪͔́ ҉͏͏͎̞̗̪̗̫̫h͉̭̳̬̠͓̠̜̬e̥͔̩͢͢ ̶̷͖͍̩͙͕̲d͙̜͙͖̝̙͎̖̀̕͢e̳̖͖̺̬̼c͍̰̘̙͕ͅi̮̫̘̫̠͘͘s͇̙̜̯͙i͞҉͇̖͕ò͎̳̫̹̜̙̟n̶͍͚̱͇̮̜s͜҉̠̞̖̰̞̜ ̸̪̦̭͔͕͖̪̪́you҉̝̰͈ ̶̵̠͎̮̗̱̮̼ͅm͝͏̬̯͇ạ̴̙͞k͈͍͈̰͔̕è̜̗̫̯̜͖͎͟ ͏҉̴̙ẃ͉̰̫͔͜͡i̴̧̲͕̳̱͘l͏͏̩̪̪̪͙l̷͕͔̕ ̮̱̥̹̙̼͜͡
u͎͇̙̗͙l̨̲t̲͇̀i̲̬͎͝m̶͙̜͔͜͢a̜͓͚̪t̗͚͈͉͝͡e̲ļ͕̲̩̯͇̺͚y͚̮̝͕ ̷͕͈̕͡d͕̦̦̳͢e͎̹ć̣̯̟̭͜į̨͓͕̦̻͞ͅd̵̻é̛͓̬̩̘̲̗͍͎͠ ̶̰̮͕̣̠̬͡ͅy̷͢͏̼̙̫̮ò̤̣̝̜̙u̡͓̤̪̞̮̯̻͟r̩̟̯̗̯̰͠ͅ ̥̭̫͕̟͕͉̀͘͞f̨̼̗̦͇̫̰͡ u͔̤̖ t͖͞ u̴̩̻̯̼̤̻̳̠ ŗ̜͚̥͘ e̶̮̳̠͝ .̞̩̗̬̼̰͙̜͟ͅ
A̱͔͉̙n̷̖̜̥n̷̖̜̥a͍̗̙̻͎͎͎̗!
Anna jolted awake, eyes snapping open at the sound of her name. But it was too bright. It hurt to look. Her eyes fluttered as they adjusted to the unfamiliar light peeking through the window, but the world was strange. In place of what should have been vibrant hues were muted colors and washed out monochromes, like it had all bled away. Anna seized at a sudden pain in the back of her skull, and her hands flew up to cover her eyes.
"Take your time. It'll be okay, Anna."
She felt a comforting presence at her side pull her close. Slowly, the miasma of her dream faded. Her nausea passed, and the gentle rocking of the ship reminded her of the present. She was no longer standing at the top of a dying world, but on a voyage with Elsa. Anna pulled her hands down, and the world reorganized itself into what it should be. It was a bright, beautiful day, blue skies and golden light.
Not grey skies and white light.
"It'll be okay," Elsa said again, smiling at Anna and brushing her hair back.
"I-I was dreaming about…" Anna didn't know how to finish that sentence. She shook her head, mouth dry. Had she been dreaming about him, Edmund? Or had it been her, Anna?
"It's all in the past," Elsa said. She pointed out the window, and Anna saw that they were sailing towards the golden sun. "Look. We can just…leave it all behind us."
"…Yeah." Anna turned away, content to close her eyes and settle into the gentle darkness. Sometimes the light still hurt her eyes. Sometimes she preferred not to look. "It's all in the past."
All in the past.
But it's still my past.