Title Change: From 'Fortunate Misfortunes' to 'The Broken Up'

*reposted 27/04/2020;

**previously removed on 01/11/2018

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[THE BROKEN UP]

one-shot

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Breakups are horrible; it's what they're designed to be.

My best friend's been dumped. And, to be honest, I should be finding this situation horrible. I really should be. I'm meant to be his support person, the one to be there for him. Yet, here I am, sucking in my cheeks and trying not to let any tears contaminate my eyes. Why? Because I'm finding this fucking hilarious.

Taichi's ex didn't cheat with another he, but another she.

Cue laughter – well, repressed laughter. The subject, himself, happens to be on his phone, browsing through his ex's social media, back hunched, hair poking at his eyes, cursing at every image he sees of her. His pitiful sight makes me want to laugh more. The more I hold it in, the more my ribs begin to hurt.

"Yeah, shut up," he growls, running the back of his sleeve against his mouth. Taichi coins out another beer from the bartender, then grouchily swears at me, "Asshole."

"I didn't say anything."

"I know you," Taichi glares at me over the heavy bass of some classic 80s rock song that I know but fail to place. "And you're finding this humorous."

"But it is amusing."

My face dissolves into a grimace when Taichi punches me on the arm. If the bartender hadn't been present, I'm sure that Taichi would have doused me in beer by now. I mean, I don't blame him because I know that I'm being a bit of a dick. He's drowning in misery while I'm no offering him any form of sympathy.

With slumped shoulders, Taichi groans into his almost-empty pint of beer, "What should I do? Should I write her a letter?"

"That's gay," I catch the words I've just uttered, and realise it's too late to take them back. I'm already guffawing like the said asshole I am.

"What," he hisses at me, "did you say, Yamato?"

The expression on Taichi's face is acidic and so angered that he could possibly make the devil want to dig himself further beyond hell. If only the music had been an ounce louder. Taichi rarely gets pissed off, but when he does, he's volcanic. I remember that one time he rammed his prized jeep into another car. He hadn't done a head-check, yet he immediately was quick to blame the other driver. Taichi had spouted a series of colourful curses, with each second word either being composed of 'shit' or 'fuck'. I, ironically, had been inside his car and had witnessed the chaos and when I told him that it was his fault, he began attacking me about it.

"What," he refuses to let what I've said go, "did you say?"

Taichi rarely gets pissed off, but when he does, he's intolerable, he's volcanic...he's one big headache. One time he rammed his prized jeep into another car because he hadn't done a proper head-check. He was quick to blame the other driver despite it being his fault. I know this because I was there. I hadn't taken any of his bullshit, flat out telling him that he was wrong...then, of course, he had attacked me with a fountain of curses instead for not taking his side. Sometimes I don't even know why we're friends. But hey, what are friends for?

Granted, Taichi does have the right to be peeved at me now. I may be being a bit of a bastard...

"Well, Yamato?" His arms are crossed, wrinkles creasing his forehead, as he waits for my apology.

I wave my hands in front of me, desperately attempting to defend myself from his impeding wrath. "Sorry. I didn't mean that, what I was meant to say was – shit!"

Wincing, I rub my arm where the stinging is radiating. It's the same area that he had punched me previously. It hurts like crazy.

"Serves you right, asshole," Taichi smirks, savouring the pained look on my face.

Breakups may be difficult for the person who is going through it, but let's take a step back and consider the rest of the world. The people that surround 'the broken up' are the family, the colleagues, the friends. Unfortunately, I fall under all three categories. Taichi conveniently works for the same company as I do. He, also, happens to be my childhood best-friend. And yes, Taichi's now officially affiliated to my family because my inconsiderate, stupid brother and Taichi's sister had eloped in Hawaii four months ago (don't ask, I'm still pissed off about this).

What I'm trying to say here is that since I'm in almost every aspect of Taichi's life, bearing no escape from his limitless whining, complaining and moronic bad habits. It's implausible that my ears haven't bled out from dealing with him.

When he talks about writing his ex a letter again, I roll my eyes.

Does he think that one glorious letter will make a woman change her sexuality? I don't bother offering my advice anymore because I know none of my words will get through his thick skull.

He orders another drink, then another.

Soon enough his cheeks are burning red like bad sunburn and his arms are wriggling around in the air like there's no gravity. I slap his arms down, pocketing his wallet from spending any more on drinks. If he keeps going on like this, we'll get kicked out of the bar. As much as I'd love for this to happen, he needs to sober up before we can even think about getting an Uber home.

Unlike myself, Taichi has this bulky, athletic build, which is problematic when he's in this drunken uncooperative state. The last time he was like this, was at a company party and I had to herd five of my colleagues to assist me maneuvering him out of the facility. Therefore, it'll be impossible for me to drag him out this bar on my own. I usually have Taichi's back, though I am not literally going to risk my own back over his stupid actions.

I do care about my friend, but not that much.

Glimpsing my surrounding, I know that Taichi isn't the only one moping here. Everybody is emitting a partnerless vibe. Some people are crying their Sunday night away with liquor, others trying to score, and some customers have been tirelessly hitting on the bartenders too. Valentine's Day does take its toll on the single population. I was looking forward to lounging on my couch and watching a movie, but Taichi had to interrupt my relaxation time. So here I am, out in the public, sitting amongst partnerless strangers and the recently broken up idiot.

"This photo was when we went to the zoo and I bought us matching lion keychains," he reminisces, staring far away in a nostalgic haze. "She'd scrunch up her nose and would impersonate a lion, making a cute 'roar' sound. Do you know how cute that was, Yamato?"

"Delete the photo," I order.

"But it's a good photo of her. Don't you think?"

I ignore him. If I encourage this nonsense he'll get worse. I mumble to him that I need to hit the men's, and after my short trip, I return to to bar and note that my tactic had miraculously worked.

Taichi's undivided attention is not on his ex's Instagram, but on the LCD screen that's broadcasting tonight's soccer game. I'm not surprised that his eyes are glued to game because he is quite the soccer fanatic. I yawn. Sports has never been my thing, so I signal the bartender for another beer. During high school, basketball was the only sport that I had excelled in, but it soon became forgotten when I stumbled across my dad's old guitar in the basement. From then on, instead of basketball, my interest had shifted to music.

"We've grown up, haven't we?"

"Huh?"

The sporadic change in subject makes me focus back on my friend. Taichi's an unpredictable drunk. His abrupt mood swings always throw me off guard. He can be rowdy and the life of the party, then he can delve to the opposite spectrum of lunacy – contemplating life and being overly emotional. Like now.

"You know you're old when you have to sell your dreams to make a living." His speech is no longer slurred as he surveys the screen, observing the soccer ball being dribbled from one player to the other. "I really wanted to play pro. It was my last chance, and I still wasn't good enough."

I shrug. "I think you're doing well now. Our boss is happy with your progress. Why do you reckon he promoted you?"

"It's not the same," Taichi disagrees. "I really wish that I could go back in time and practice more instead of-"

"LIVE IN THE PRESENT!" a shrill voice breaks Taichi's sentiments.

The vacant seat that was next to Taichi is now occupied with a woman. It's hard not to miss her when she's wearing this flowy lilac dress on, matched with a pair of glittering, silver heels. Appearance aside, what's got us focused on her is the way she's shakily pointing her index finger at us, leaning forward, demanding that we listen to whatever rubbish she has to say.

"No, you can't go back in time. You must face what's in front of you head first! That's the only way how to live life!"

She spouts advice when we clearly haven't asked for any of it. I really am in no mood for a sermon when I've already endured Taichi's migraine-inducing state. If she wants to lecture about life lessons, couldn't she save it for somewhere else? Unfortunately for me, as I pull Taichi away from her, he shoulders me off and turns to her like she's his saviour.

He slurs, "Then what do you suggest I do?"

"DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO! DON'T HESITATE! "

She preaches, slamming her glass onto the counter to emphasise her opinion. The glass somehow doesn't shatter from the impact, but Taichi and I are drizzled with wine. It's a good thing that her glass wasn't completely full because then we'd be drenched. I gape as the mad-woman doesn't stop there. She keeps going.

"LIVE WITH NO REGRETS AND-Ajwgrh!"

A new woman appears, clamping a hand over the other woman's mouth mid-speech. "Can it," she whispers. Her gaze lifts upwards, sending Taichi and I an apologetic look, then she flashes a meek smile at the bartender whom furrows his eyebrows back. Her auburn hair stands out more than the lilac dress.

"Don't mind her. She's-"

"Intoxicated?" I offer.

"I guess you can say that," the woman mutters, still covering a hand over the other woman's mouth. "Sorry. She's just gotten fired today and-"

"No, I did not. The drunk woman somehow has managed to tackle herself out from her friend's hold, further disputing, "I've resigned. There's a difference!"

"Mimi." The woman leers at her, wiping her palm against her jeans. "Did you just lick my hand?"

"You wouldn't let me go." The drunk lady points out, "It's not my fault they lost a star employee! The management team is horrible – making their workers do overtime and not getting paid for it! And don't get me started on how we never had any breaks-"

"You've told me this," Mimi's friend tells her, impatiently.

Taichi chooses to dive into the conversation, empathising his repulsion, "But that's devastating."

If I've been eavesdropping, it's only natural that Taichi has been too. However, Taichi getting involved meant it would be more strenuous, on my part, to get him out of this bar. While he's taken a break from talking about his ex, he has found a new problem – even if it happens not to be his own. And whenever Taichi is drunk and trying to solve another person's problems, that's when I know everything is going downhill.

This is great...just great.

"It is, isn't it?" Mimi says. She briskly holds onto Taichi's hands. "The world is an evil place, but we mustn't give up. We must keep going moving forward. There is a road to true happiness!"

If I hadn't known she was drunk, I would have sworn this Mimi person was a hippy that polluted people's minds with rainbows and butterflies. That, or was a talented motivational speaker in her past life. At least she's not screaming out her beliefs anymore. Yet, whatever she's doing, I can see that she's getting to Taichi, and I can't tell whether it's a good or bad thing. Scratch that; definitely the latter.

Mimi's friend gives a loud sigh. She's still standing behind Mimi, holding a set of car keys between her fingers. She glances at her wrist to check the time and immediately frowns. From the look on Mimi's friend's face, I can tell that she knows her unfortunate fate because our two friends seem like they're not even close to ceasing their pointless chatter.

"Want to take my seat?" I ask. "It's going to take a while."

Her eyes finally meet mine. I can feel her sizing me up and I don't really care that she is because I'd be lying to say that I'm not either. While Mimi's dressed in something to impress, Mimi's friend is attired in black jeans and a grey tank top. It may be a simple outfit, yet it worked wonders on her. It emphasised her toned upper body, her long legs, lean figure and fine bust. Her hair is short, auburn in colour and there was a unique, elegant flare at the tips. Whatever she was doing, it suits her.

"It's fine." She smiles.

I had expected her to continue standing on the same spot after she had declined my offer. Rather, she had moved over to my side of the bar, furthering her away from her drunk friend as she takes a seat besides me.

"I could get Taichi to swap with you and-"

She shakes her head. "Don't worry about it. They're deep in conversation and I'd rather be away from it because I've already witnessed her give her inspirational speech one too many times. It gets boring. Anyway, sorry for interrupting your night out with your friend."

I chortle. "Trust me. If anything, you've saved me."

She gives another of her kind smiles, leaning forward ever so slightly as she holds out a hand.

"I'm Sora."

"Yamato," I say my name, giving her hand a firm shake. Since I know I'm going to be here longer, I decided to order myself another beer. "Want anything?"

"Designated driver." She dangles her car keys in front of me as proof before zipping it inside her bronze purse. "Thanks anyway though."

"So she's your Valentine's date?" I tease.

She smirks back at me. When she's about to respond, Taichi interrupts as he points back at Mimi and the redhead next to me, "Are they lesbians?"

Groaning, I roughly push him on the shoulder so that he almost falls off the stool. Mimi's blinking in bemusement and Sora's laughing lightheartedly. It's then that I see that he's got another beer in his hands. Had the idiot asked Mimi to get him a drink? Shameless, absolutely shameless.

"What is wrong with us? Why am I surrounded by lesbians? Is there something wrong with me? Am I a lesbian magnet?" He doesn't stop going, complaining, "What have I done wrong to deserve this? Is this karma for when I had that one-night stand with your hot French cousin behind your back?"

"Taichi, shut up. Stop being overdramatic over this-What?" I feel sick when his what he says finally reach my brain. "You've slept with Catherine?"

Sora is continuing to laugh at my disgust.

And Mimi?

She's just slammed down her drink for the second time this evening. And yes, this time most of my face gets hit by the sticky mixed drink. While Taichi greedily grabs the last handful of serviettes at the bar and selfishly dabs himself dry, Sora slides me over some tissues from her purse.

"Thanks." I murmur.

"Do you need more?" Sora asks me, but she's already reaching inside her purse.

She hands me the tissues and as I'm about to dry the liquid that has reached part of my neck, I notice that the tissue is harder than usual. By harder, it doesn't even feel like a tissue anymore.

It's not hard, but it's not completely soft either. I glance at it and scratch my head. So it's an unopened pack of tissues? Shrugging, I tear the thin plastic at the top of the small packet. As I dip my fingers into the opening, I don't find the thin dry sheets of paper.

When I stare closer to examine it, my cheeks heat up.

A pad?

I glance at Sora who is looking at me in realisation, mouth gaping wide. She snatches the plastic packet from me. "Um-uh...I guess I've ran out?"

"It's fine. I'm dry enough," I say, quietly.

When her hesitant eyes meet mine, I can't help but awkwardly laugh at the situation. In seconds, she collapses into an uncontrollable fit of giggles. Sora uses her hand to block her eyes from me, making a great act at pretending to hide in shame. It's quite endearing, actually.

There's something about her that makes me feel like I've known her for a long time.

"S-stop!" Taichi stammers.

Our attention snaps back to our drunk friends. Taichi's holding onto Mimi's wrist from slapping the glass down again. While Mimi is staring daggers at him, looking him directly in the eye with unadulterated fury.

"Do you have something against lesbians?" Mimi dangerously hisses at Taichi as he cowers back. "What's wrong with two women loving each other? If they love each other, let them! You shouldn't discriminate you...you old man!"

"Old man?" I repeat to myself at the lame comeback. I kind of wanted something more brutal than that. It's bad that I'm finding this really amusing, but as I cast a side glance at Sora, I know she's getting a kick out of this too.

"I'm sorry that my ex-girlfriend left me for another woman!" Taichi yells. He gets Mimi to stop talking, as well as the rest of the small bar who are now eying him in pity. "From now on, maybe I should marry my darn brother-in-law? What do you say, Yamato?"

"Leave me out of this," I snort, turning back to Sora. "What were we talking about again? Oh right...pads, yes? I think talking about pads is a more interesting topic that dealing with these nutcases."

Sora gazes at me, incredulously. "And you think talking about pads is a captivating conversation for normal people?"

"We're normal when they're next to us," I scoff.

She's bursts into laugher again, making my irritation dissipate into thin air. The sound of her laughter is short-lived when Mimi hastily screams out.

"I'M SO SORRY!"

Mimi dives onto Taichi, tightly strangling him into a hug as she begins to noisily sob into his shoulder. I give a cough when I see Taichi's arms fall around the drunk lady. He looks at her deeply through his blurred vision and licks his lips. His eyes shut, holding her closer and as he's taking in the scent of her perfume, I know I have to rescue him out of this.

As I aim for Taichi's collar, he's already made his sneaky advance. And, ironically, Mimi's following his lead. Right now they're behaving like sinful teenagers with their tongues battling in each other's mouth in a hormonal, liquor-driven desperation. When his hands rest on her hips and she's running a hand up his shirt, I look away.

Shit.

"Let them get it out of their system," Sora mutters. "It's better not to watch because Mimi gets more devious when there are people looking."

"I was more worried about my friend. They're equally as bad as each other."

"Ah-huh." Sora gives a grin.

We talk a bit more. I don't even remember what we're talking about. One conversation transits from one to another. She's entertaining in her own sense. While Mimi seems to be the more dominant person in their friendship, there is a hidden dry wit that Sora possesses which makes her equally, or more, intriguing. Every word that comes out from her lips are precious. If I hadn't been listening to her properly, I would have missed her sense of humour. I don't recall the last time I've laughed this much.

We drone out the making-out couple until their untamed attraction spikes up again, causing Taichi's beer to spill all over the counter. Right now I wish nobody knew that I'm associated with Taichi at all. The bartender's unimpressed. He's looking at me, pleading. I can't even claim not knowing my best-friend because everybody has seen me with him the whole time.

I weigh up the options in front of me. I could call a cab and get security to assist me taking the idiot away? But I don't want to. I could ditch Taichi by himself? I couldn't...he'd be alone then. If I had planned to do that, I wouldn't have gone out with him at all tonight. However, he has Mimi now. And, after all, I do want to spend more time talking to Sora. There's an unspoken chemistry that makes me feel comfortable around her. I can't just let her disappear...

Then what am I meant to do?

The bartender continues to scowl at my direction. I gulp. I need to take action before they call security on us and once security is here, that means that my night is over...and I haven't even asked for her number yet – or Facebook. That's what they use these days, right? How am I meant to know? I scratch my head, pondering which solution is the best way to go around this without sounding like a douche.

Sora's gaze meets mine, as if we're reading each other minds. She takes out her car keys and whispers softly, so softly that I can vaguely hear her voice. "Wanna ditch them?"

I give a sly smile. "I wouldn't call it ditching if we leave them together."

So we do.

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(a/n) Just realised I never put this back up after entering it in a random competition...which was two years ago. I've renamed the titled.

Anyway, it's back up :) Hope you enjoy this random read!