Epilogue

"No, seriously. How do you not see it? Annabella is totally going to be pregnant by next season! She has to be pregnant now!"

"No way!" Emma shook her head and popped a few beers, handing one to Red and one to Heels - who apparently also answered to the name of 'Mer'. "She can't be pregnant."

"Then why does she keep falling asleep all of the time!"

"Because she's tired?"

"But she's that kind of tired."

"Or! And this is a crazy theory. Sam was running her into the ground looking for Jake all last season and she's fucking tired."

Mer scoffed and mumbled something suggestive, nudging Red with her elbow.

"I'm with Emma on this one," Zelena said, tossing her arm over Emma's shoulder. They had finally progressed over the last few months from Emma kind of hating her guts to - a weird understanding. Zelena wasn't so bad after all. She was rude - and in your face - and kind of a bitch - but she - had her moments...when she wasn't reminding Emma that she was going to be making out with her girlfriend on the set soon, that is. Zelena thought that was hilarious and, perhaps it was all the Colstead fics that she had read, but Emma had a hard time with that one.

Thank god Red and Mer had finally shown up. It had put an end to the running joke because Zelena and Regina weren't allowed to give away spoilers about the upcoming seasons.

"I mean," Zelena continued, "a baby would mean that Anna would have to be sleeping with Charlie and no one wants to think that, now do we?"

Red scoffed but grinned, "Alright, that's fucking true." Mer said something unintelligible and Red laughed, "Right? Not with a ten-foot pole and gloves!"

Emma and Zelena looked between the couple blankly but decided not to ask - for the hundredth time - what the hell the redhead had said.

"I dunno, guys!" Tink shook her head, entering the kitchen and looking for another drink, "Some of those looks that Anna gives Charlie-"

"Oh shut up, multi-shipper!" Emma handed her a bottle with a grin and a wink. Tink totally already knew about Colstead becoming canon. She was just stirring shit.

"Oooooooh, don't let your girlfriend hear you say that!" Tink's eyes grew wide and threatening.

"Don't you dare!" Tink took a calculated step back toward the door. "TINK!"

"Ooooohshit. She's gonna get you in trooooouble." Red whistled.

"TINK!"

But Tink and spun around and was bolting toward the living room.

In the last few weeks, Regina had begun a new campaign, 'Love the Show; Not the Ship'. It was supposed to help fight fandom bullying.

Emma tore after her yelling, "Whatever she says, she's lying!" But Tink simply dropped back into Pete's lap with a smug grin.

"What did you do now?" Regina asked, looking up from her conversation with Robin, Zelena's new fiancé.

"Nooothing." She dropped back onto the couch and immediately curled under Regina's arm.

"Regina!" Red called, still arguing with Zelena, "You, at least, have to agree with me!"

"About what?"

Red pulled her girlfriend and Zelena back into the living room.

It had taken both Red and Mer about a week to normalize when they first got into town. Emma had brought Regina to the airport to meet them, not only as her girlfriend but as the woman whose house they would be staying in since Emma's apartment was kind of small.

Mer had presented herself well, calm and cool, though unintelligible but Red, well, she had all but had a fangirl meltdown in the middle of the airport. 'I can't even - how are you - I just-' then she had leaned over and whispered in a voice that was not as well hidden as she thought, 'Does she even need to touch you to make you come or does she just take her clothes off and that's enough?' Emma had turned beet red and Regina had pointedly coughed and looked away. 'Yeah, kind of. But not for the reason you're thinking.' She thought of their drunken tryst a long while back where Regina literally hadn't needed to touch her - then Emma had hurried them from the airport before more people could turn and stare.

Then she had another meltdown when Zelena had shown up a few nights later.

Glad to see Red had graduated from, 'I'm your biggest fan' to dragging her from the kitchen to prove her point.

"Anna is totally secret pregnant right now, right? I mean – Charlie – ew, but totally pregnant, right?"

"Why do people keep saying that? No! Anna is not pregnant." She and Zelena exchanged amused glances. Not only was Anna not pregnant but also she was soon to be broken up with Charlie and in Samantha's bed.

Red flopped down on the couch next to Emma and pulled Mer down with her. "You have to agree with me at least, right? She's totally pregnant. She's been sleeping a lot and grumpy and - her tits have gotten huge!"

"Ah go take a running fuck at a rolling doughnut!" Mer cried and they all burst into laughter.

"Red, you realize that Annabella is me, right? I'm not pregnant - so my breasts have not grown!"

Red looked at her skeptically, "Are you sure you're not pregnant?"

Regina pulled her shirt up exposing her ever tightening abs and then glanced at Emma who suddenly had a hungry gleam to her eye. "Emma, will you please vouch that I am not pregnant."

"Unless there's something I do not know about then no, she is not pregnant."

"She's not carrying your baby?"

Emma turned red again.

"Allllright, fiiiiine. Em, gimmie your phone."

"Whhhhyyy?" Emma asked suspiciously. "Why do I have a feeling that whatever you're up to is gonna get me into trouble?"

"I wanna show her that picture."

"No!"

"Emma!"

"You have a photo you don't want me to see, Duckling?" Regina teased, nuzzling her jaw.

"No?"

"Well, now I have to see."

Emma rolled her eyes and handed the phone over.

"'Kay look." Red clicked open the photo app and began scrolling through. "Jesus, you've got more pictures of the kid in here than anything else."

Emma scoffed, "Because he's so cute! Look!" Emma made her stop at a picture of the moppy-haired Henry fresh after a haircut, "Looook at that face!"

Red just shook her head and tisked.

"Oh come on! Look!" Emma grabbed the phone and scrolled to a picture of him pretending to be a monkey. "Right?" Red just stared at her, "Right?"

Regina's reaction when she turned to her was much more satisfactory. Her face melted and she began to laugh, "That was at the zoo! He was so excited to see the monkeys but then when we got there he was so afraid of them."

"Anyway, look, look at this!" Red scrolled and handed the photo back to Regina, "Look. Those are definitely bigger. You mean to tell me that they haven't given you a push-up bra or anything? Because I call bullshit on that, honey."

"Okay, this photo is clearly very doctored. Those are not my breasts." Regina suddenly smacked Emma on the arm, "Why is this on your phone?"

"You won't let me have the real thing on there!" she cried in response.

"Why do you need pictures of my breasts on your phone?"

Emma cleared her throat and purposely didn't answer, "So uh, how long before the live tweeting begins?"

"Another five minutes," Zelena answered with a chuckle.

"We forgot the popcorn!" Tink cried. "Pete! Pleeeease!"

Pete rolled his eyes but rose and got it, "If I miss the beginning then it's your fault!"

"Thank you!"

"Oh look, Regina, the tweets are already starting. I just got some asking if we're going to be watching. Should I answer them?"

"Uh, I guess so. I can't imagine what the harm is."

"Alright."

Both Regina and Zelena picked up their phones, clicking away.

Emma watched Regina type responses, laughing at some of the awkward questions.

"God, a lot of people want to know about Colstead," Emma muttered.

Regina gave her half a grin, "Always!"

"An all new season of Crime & Punishment starts now."

"PETE! IT'S STARTING! PETE!"

He came running in, carrying a bag of popcorn.

The screen came up on August's face, bloody and squinting.

"Oh god," Regina sighed, "I was so worried about August in this scene. He seemed so scared up in that crate."

"He's in a crate?" Red cried and Mer gasped something.

"Hey! No spoilers, Reggie!"

"Stop calling me Reggie!"

Zelena rolled her eyes and went back to her phone.

"Oh look at that one!" Emma pointed to Regina's screen. It read " ReginaMillsOfficial, it's my 18th birthday! Will you send me a birthday selfie?"

"Awe, that's so cute!"

"You realize it's probably not her birthday, right?" Emma asked, teasingly tickling her girlfriend's side.

"Oh, I suppose it probably isn't."

"Does it matter?" Red asked, through a mouthful of popcorn.

"Absolutely not! Come here." Regina pulled Emma in.

"But wait!" Emma cried, they hadn't exactly been hiding their relationship, not since that interview all of those months ago. Still they had never openly flaunted it, either. "Are you sure?"

"Of course, I'm sure!" Regina gave her a radiant smile and pulled her against her. "Alright, say Remma forever!"

"Remma forever!" Emma smiled, laughing at the last moment and kissing her face.

"Oh, that was just too fucking cute." Red groaned. "God damn it, guys, stop it."

"You ready, my love?"

"Mmm."

Regina typed a quick response and clicked send.

"Welp. There it goes. My face will now be the face every hopeful Colsteadian will hate."

"Envy!" Tink cried, "And shhhhhhh! We can't hear!"

Regina got a response almost immediately, " ReginaMillsOfficial, OMG# #!R %$Y&U*&%*$&#! YOU TWO ARE SO FUCKING CUTE! YOU'RE SO CUTE, I HATE YOU!"

"See! Hate!" Emma grinned her giant crooked grin.

Regina laughed, cuddling Emma closer, "Or. She hates me because I have the goddamned cutest girlfriend in the world."

Emma rolled her eyes but accepted the long, deep kiss that her love gave her. Then they turned and, sighing contentedly, snuggled in to enjoy the premiere with their closest friends and family.