She said she only loved him.
Rin told him herself- she loves him. He is her precious best friend.
Spending days together, a childhood that can never be erased. Ice cream shared on a hot day, games played competitively together, laughter that made the dreariest day so much brighter.
Len cherishes those days. He cherishes being by her side, seeing her beautiful smile and watching her face glow with happiness.
It's always been his heart's desire to have her smile to himself.
Being in love with her burns him, acid engulfing his heart and slowly eating away at him. Fire races through his bloodstream with each syllable she utters.
"You know I love you, right?"
Of course he knows. How could she love anyone else? He's always been by her. He cannot be replaced, and neither can she- she is a kind angel and he her guardian.
A sweet, unplucked flower that he has carefully kept safe.
...How could she say that word so easily?
"I love you, silly!"
She loves him. She is the only one whose affection matters to him. Her words, the caress of her fingers when she tousles his unruly hair, the softness of her gaze and the cute giggle she tries so hard to hide.
And it is all his.
...Or rather, it should be.
He loves her. He's made it painfully obvious- and yet.
...When Rin says she loves him, why does it not each her eyes? Why does she not mean it sincerely, the way he means it?
Why is the ringing of truthfulness in those words not meant for him alone?
She said she only loved him.
Those words- spoken to him in silence, in rain, on a bright and happy day.
She loves him.
But not like he loves her. Of course not.
...but surely, she does? She hides it, pretends not to see his own feelings, but he catches on to hers. Rin loves him exactly the way he loves her.
So why does she hide it? Why does she play around the truth and pretend that she doesn't feel anything? Why does she pretend she finds interest in others?
(Who is he? Why is she talking to him?)
(He can't have her. Over Len's dead body.)
Does she like hurting him? Does she enjoy twisting the serrated edge of a knife into his heart when he sees her, sharing that perfect smile with someone else?
(He won't allow anyone else to take his precious Rin away.)
Len loves her, treasures her. He treats her like a princess and protects her, the knight by her side and the sword she uses. He's happy to be the pawn in her game- as long as the reward is her smile.
That brilliant, gleaming smile that blesses any who see it.
...No one else can see it but him.
She said she only loved him.
She tried to explain it to him.
"I love Mikuo. He's funny and smart- but he's so shy and doesn't get nearly enough credit for his artwork. Have you seen it, Len? His art is so amazing and I-"
Rin always appreciated art. Her own is magnificent- shades of baby blue mixed with ruby red. Sunset orange splashing a green and white horizon she claims is far from good enough.
(She has always been good enough for him. Why can't she see him and not that bastard tealet-)
Mikuo. Heh- Smart? He couldn't tell his right from his left, let alone what kind of girl he has in his grasp. Funny? His jokes always leave room to be desired.
However, Len doesn't mind. If Mikuo wants to try anything with Rin, it doesn't matter in the end.
She loves him anyway. She told him so.
She loves Len far more than she would love anybody else. It's already been proven. He has nothing to hide, nothing to impress, nothing to show.
Maybe, if he paints her his own picture, made of shimmering shades of teal and red-
-she would finally realize. Rin needs him, just like he needs her. Len wouldn't be able to live without her. She is his air and she is his lifeline, what keeps him afloat in the darkness and guides his way.
(Her hand will not be taken by someone other than him.)
She said she only loved him.
How could she?!
Her glistening, oceanic orbs had bore straight into his without second thought, though after the words were uttered she looked away, as if afraid.
As if she was trying to hide something.
"I- I'm so sorry, Len. I love Mikuo. It's not because of you, no, I just-"
Excuses. Damned excuses, flowing endlessly from his perfect, faultless angel's throat.
How he longed to make it end, to stop the stream of infuriating lies.
...Lies. Of course. This isn't her talking at all. It's the tealet, wormed into her head, making her say such things to him. How could he have thought differently?
Rin would never say such things to him.
She loves him. Len is absolutely certain of it.
It's Mikuo who doesn't understand. How could he? No one could ever realize the bond Len and Rin share- it's practically written in blood.
(Or perhaps, it should be.)
He won't listen to another word of Rin's brainwashed babbling. He'll pretend, for now, that it's all fine, that it won't matter. Once he takes care of the problem, it will no longer be a concern for him.
(Mikuo will learn his place.)
She said she only loved him.
"Stop it! Stop it, Len, stop, please!"
Flashes of red color his vision, his face, his hands and the bedspread. He can't see so well in the dark, but maybe it's best. Unfortunately, he can still hear her. The melodic, bell-like voice of his jewel being forced into an ear-piercing screech. Such a painful sound, like his own soul is being ripped in half.
(He quickly silenced the tealet's pleas. They had annoyed him, made his head throb- how could she have enjoyed such a voice?)
He hadn't quite meant for it to have happened this way.
He had tread to Mikuo's room, knife in hand. Upon hearing noises, he had frozen, uncertain.
Peering through the door, he had seen the unthinkable- his sweet, darling Rin pinned under the hands of that filth. Her full, rosy lips pressed to those of a monster's.
(He's touching her he's touching her how dare he touch her-)
He had come just in time, it seemed, before his white-lipped flower's petals were eternally soiled.
He had saved her- thank goodness.
Why wasn't she grateful? Why was she weeping as if Len had committed some horrific crime? She has to realize he's just doing what he knows is right.
"I loved him!"
She loves Len. She loves him more than anyone else. Everything is a lie except for his own words.
Forever and always, like he had promised her so long ago.
(Stop screaming dammit you need to stop right now-)
Tonight, now, she will become his and his only.
He won't stand for it any longer. Rin's smile, his perfect princess, the chance of her being taken away…
...he will not allow it.
She said she only loved him.
Dots of blood fleck her porcelain skin, mixing with her tears. He reaches out to brush it away, and she flinches, her eyes snapping closed, as if he'd hurt her.
(What a strange concept. He'd never hurt Rin.)
He forces her to meet his gaze. His reflection stares back at him, and he's only a tiny bit surprised at what he sees- wild eyes, his jaw clenched with determination, his bangs mussed and curled in haphazard directions. Blood coats his shirt, but it doesn't matter.
He has Rin now, right here with him. She's safe, she's unharmed- she's his.
(She'll be his forever.)
"D-don't touch me," she mumbles, leaning as far back into the wall as she can, her thin frame trembling. Even as afraid as she is, she still keeps eye contact.
Her eyes have always held such fire. Bright, blue, kind and gentle- but he's seeing shades he's never seen before in her gaze. Ebony shadows lace her vision, and it's unsettling for him.
(What is that? Why does it hurt him, why does he hate it don't look at me that way.)
"I did it for you," he murmurs quietly, his thumb tracing the line of her jaw. "I did it for us, Rin. Aren't you happy?"
"H-Happy?" her eyes widen in shock. "Y-you killed him, Len. You killed Mikuo…!"
She winces when his hold on her tightens in unleashed rage, before he reminds himself that this is Rin. His lovely angel.
(She's just brainwashed. It's not her fault she doesn't understand.)
"Shhh," he hushes her gently, and he watches her swallow hard. Len's other hand brushes along her neck, her skin velvet softness under his sticky fingertips. She shudders, and he vaguely pictures her as a delicate doll- able to be broken with the slightest flick of the wrist.
(What he wouldn't do to be able to touch her like this all the time.)
"Why?" she chokes out. "Was I cursed when I decided to love him, or was I cursed the moment I met you?"
It takes a moment for her words to really register with him, and his eyes darken.
What does she mean? Cursed by him? How? He's done nothing but love her- he has loved her, given his everything, has even killed for her sake and yet- even still, she-!
His mind snaps, unable to take the crushing feeling imposed on him by her accusing words.
(This can't be right I love her she's mine no one else can have her Rin is mine!)
Len leans in and captures her lips with his own, earning a muffled protest from her. Her mouth tastes of honey and blood, warm and mind-numbing. His fingers thread through her golden strands, tugging her forward to deepen the kiss and letting the other trail to her waist.
This is everything he's ever wanted, everything he desires, she is his and nothing can take her away-
(Then why doesn't she respond to him?)
She is immobile, a statue under his hands. Unwillingly, he parts from her to see her expression. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Where is her smile?
"...Rin?" his voice is pathetically quiet, sorrowful in the silence.
She doesn't answer, and he grows frustrated. Where is her smile? Where is the love he used to see in her face, the affection she held for him?
Where is his angel?!
He pinches her smeary cheeks roughly, earning a slight cry of pain from her. "Smile. Smile, dammit," he curses heavily, trying to make her see, trying to find his beloved within the cold mask of the girl in front of him.
Her fingers wrap around his wrists, and she whimpers as he painfully tugs at her skin, trying to accomplish- what? What is he trying to do?
He stops as something seeps into his mind. The realization is so chilling that he lets go of her.
"...Rin, don't you love me?" he presses, his eyes searching hers.
The subsequent pained look in her eyes and the abrupt shift of her gaze is all the answer he needs, and a scream of anguish rips from his chest.
(She loves him- there are no other options!)
As he reaches for his abandoned knife, he can hear her voice joining his in discordant chorus, and his cries change into something else, far darker. Thick laughter that sounds wrong, that is tinged with hatred and disgust.
She said that she loved him. She was his only, and he- he will be her only. Rin is his sweet flower. He won't let go, not now, not ever. He'll make her see, he'll make her understand the truth, one way or another.
...She said she only loved him.
He will keep her to her word- up until the end.
.X.
i·dée fixe
noun
an idea or desire that dominates the mind; an obsession.
A/N: You have every right to hate me right now.
This is an Unbeta'd work. I didn't want to trouble Piri with it, since I'm- um. Not even sure about this.
I may actually delete this. I honestly don't know what I was trying to do, but it turned into an angst fest of yandere weirdness. *scratches head nervously* Uh, but for now I'll post it and see what happens. My muse wills it so.
I wrote this in the space of four hours of actually focusing on it. (I was highly distracted.) The main idea was to use emphasis on the one sentence 'She said she only loved him' and create different paragraphs based on the way it was worded, etc. I don't actually know if I accomplished that, but... eh. Um. This was also a slight practice/dabble in other writing style, and an experiment. *facepalms*
Let me know what you think, okay? And I so promise I'll have more fluff up soon. Just ignore me for a bit if you've become worried- I'm in a dark rut thanks to RTI .-.
Anyways, thanks for reading this- um. Weird fic.
Read on~.
~Disclaimer~ I own terrifying laughter, focus, and a dark obsession, but nothing else.