Pop-up window...and a stupid video ad... ugh, I thought I had AdBlocker on.

Clicking the close button just maximized it, it had to be a drive by JavaScript worm.

Oh, it's an Old Spice commercial - it must be a new one, I haven't seen any of those in years.

"Hello men, do you wish to look like me?

You might be able to look like me if you smelled like me, look left now look back at me, where am I?

I'm floating in space having an adventure with hot alien ladies, like you could be if you smelled like me.

The new "Old Spice Adventure Scent" cologne is your ticket to excitement!

Look right, now look back at me, I'm a superhero battling monsters and saving the day like you could be if you smelled like me.

Click YES to be sprayed with adventure!"

I couldn't help as a bit of a chuckle escaped my lips after the screen turned into a giant Yes button.

Rolling my eyes, I clicked yes to infect my computer with whatever virus the JavaScript had already installed and shifted my fingers over onto the ctrl-alt-del keys to close the browser window the hard way. Afterwards I would start the disinfection process.

I was suddenly knocked back as a firehose worth of scented liquid gushed impossibly from my screen and drove me painfully into a brick wall behind me, blacking out instantly from the impact.

Chapter One

I woke up sopping wet on my back, staring upwards at the night sky and reeking strongly of some Old Spice blend. Less intense foul scents crept into my nose, informing me of the stale urine and rotting garbage nearby. Still a bit dazed from the collision I stared upwards a bit up at the clear night sky. Surprisingly I had no aches or pains from my unpleasant and unexpected trip into a brick wall that hadn't been there this morning.

Feeling intensely nauseous I rolled over onto my side and heaved up the scented liquid that I had apparently swallowed onto a few pieces of washed out and soaked paper stuck to the grimy alley floor. Sucking in air like a drowning victim I almost choked when I saw my blue, clawed, furry hand.

Perfectly normal.

I flexed it and the other three a few times before wondering why I was startled by it.

Shifting onto my feet, I grimaced a bit at the visible indent my body had left in the old brickwork of the building behind me. The opposite wall was dirty and old but otherwise undamaged brick, giving me no clue how I got here other than the memory of being blasted by the Old Spice man into a brick wall.

I briefly wondered if that had destroyed my laptop or damaged the interior wall behind me. Not going to get that security deposit back with cologne soaking into the wood flooring. I could do the actual repair work on the wall myself, having worked in various constructions jobs before.

I leaned against an undamaged portion of the brick wall, wriggling my small toes and running all four hands down my sides to help shake off the brick dust which was quickly turning to mud within my short wet fur. Checking around for other people briefly, I went ahead and shook like a dog to get most of the cologne out.

Still something seemed off, but I wasn't sure what it could be. The alley seemed much larger than it should be, like the perspective was off somehow.

Come to think of it, it's nighttime and the alley isn't lit by any lights but that doesn't seem to have any negative impact on my ability to see.

Was my night vision this good before?

Oh bliznak

where are my glasses?

I quickly searched around for them for a few seconds before realizing that I didn't seem to need them. I could have sworn I had some really bad vision, I shouldn't have been able to see my hand clearly when outstretched much less the alleyway or even the bricks around me.

Come to think of it, where the hell am I? Maybe I should check my phone. I patted my furry sides and then my rear.

Oh, Bliznak! My wallet and smartphone are gone. I could have sworn I had them in my pocket.

Wait, where are my pants?

Why would I wear pants?

I usually wear pants!

Did the Old Spice man strip me naked?

No, why would he do that, I'm covered in fur so why would I bother with pants?

I sagged in pain from a massive headache that seemed to slam into my head, my thoughts racing around in circles. I slapped myself across the face to distract myself, which somehow instantly banished the headache as well.

"Ok, ok calm down. Let's take this step by step."

"I was..." I gritted my teeth in the sudden recurring headache.

"Sitting at my computer, surfing the internet after getting home from work. I'm a system administrator who works in a datacenter, I usually wear a light jacket everywhere because it's cold and drafty in the datacenter."

I grabbed my head as the pain increased, my memories were harder to reach as the pain caused my head to throb with every heartbeat. It felt like my head was fighting me, trying to stop me from reaching memories exclusively about myself.

Gritting my teeth I spat out angrily in defiance of the pain, "I was wearing pants and clothing and a belt. I wear clothing because everyone wears clothing."

The pain became blinding, and my vision swam as I struggled to continue with the train of thought. "I wear clothing because..." I stumbled into the wall as my knees gave out and grabbed the wall with my hands, digging my claws into the mortar joints.

"I," I slammed my head into the brick wall.

"Didn't," again.

"Have," and again.

"Fur," I slammed my head into and through the wall and into the other building, which was thankfully empty. I pulled my head out quickly, some of the bricks collapsing to partially fill in the hole I made.

I sagged a bit in relief as the headache left me just as suddenly as it came and collapsed onto the ground on my back staring upward at the night sky, panting loudly for a few minutes as I rested. I reached up at nothing with all four arms, clenching the clawed hands at the sky as if seeing them for the first time.

The hands seemed so familiar and "right" but I now knew that they were new. I could use them as if they had always been a part of me, but it didn't take much of a jump in logic to assume my entire body had been changed alongside the addition of fur.

It was extremely difficult to focus on what my body "used" to be and only resulted in a quickly increasing headache.

"Na La Queesta Old Spice Man!" I cursed, shaking both right fists upwards at the empty air.

A nearly blinding flash of light lit up the dark alley as the sound of a generic digital camera going off suddenly echoed off of the brick walls.

Lifting my ears upward, I quickly spun towards the sound, some Asian guy at the entrance to the alleyway with his phone out and an "Oh shit" expression plastered over his face.

"Hey, oh is that a phone can I borrow it?" I asked him sweetly, flashing a friendly smile and pointing at his phone.

He looked like he was about to drop his cellphone and muttered "Tā shuōhuà! Zhèyàng, rú fēnglì de yáchǐ.." backing up a bit away from me.
(Holy shit, the little demon is talking..)

I grinned and motioned at his phone, pointing at it with a claw with one hand and making grasping motions with the lower one for him to bring it over to me.

"Come on just give me the phone Asian guy... I just need to make a few calls on it."

He shook his head no.

"Just give me the Bliznak phone!"

I shook my head no, then I made strangling motions with my own neck with my upper arms and pointed at myself with one lower arm and then at my upper arms and him with the other and then my at my "being strangled" neck and then pointed at his phone and make a give-it-to-me grasping motion with the other hand.

He didn't like that and screamed out "Bāngzhù, yěshòu huì chī wǒ!" before running away.
(The little demon is going to kill me!)

Bliznak

I ran towards the entrance of the alleyway and looked around, only for about a dozen people to look back at me and then at the screaming running man.

I smiled at them and waved, only for some of the women to shriek at me and duck behind a few men.

A few of the men decided to make threatening noises and started saying things in more Asian-sounding languages a few of them chucked a few pieces of garbage at me while some non-shrieking women pulled out their cellphones.

I pulled back into the alleyway and slouched against the wall. Great, so I'm a six-limbed blue-furred creature in some Asian country and people are already calling the police on me.

Fantastic, Bata Naba Gata Old Spice man. Just fantastic.

I really needed to get out of here before the police show up and decide to add a few holes to me or some knife-wielding cook decides it might be a good idea to see how I taste in a soup. Looking around, it's obvious I'm trapped, it's a small boxed-in alleyway with the only exit being the street-one.

And the entrance now has a couple of the adventurous men who are now armed with random easily grabbed objects like sticks and brooms.

"Huòqǔ yāo!" one of them cried as they ran towards me.
(Kill the demon!)

I quickly backed up into the end of the alleyway

"Keep away from me!" I shouted at them

They briefly paused and looked at each other before one of them seemed to take charge and shouted, "Shā sǐ wàiguó èmó." and waved his steel pipe in the air. The others seemed to agree with the sentiment and warily pointed their makeshift weapons at me with their faces scrunched up in expressions of anger.
(Come on, it's just a weak demon!)

I pressed my back against the brickwork and all four hands against the wall, pushing upwards to try and get away from them. Which seemed to work fantastically as I was suddenly eye-level with most of them. Not really understanding I just continued backpedaling upwards and away from them.

One of them shouted out "Xiǎo èmó shì táopǎo!"
(It's getting away)

I rushed up the brick wall backwards at an impressive speed and quickly made it up to the roof. The angry crowd below took to grabbing small pieces of garbage and tried lobbing them at me with hilariously bad aim.

The "leader" said "Diàoyòng Yàngbǎn"
(Call the Yangban)

I stood on the edge of the rooftop and mocked them, immature I know but I was just so relieved at my narrow escape that I couldn't help sticking my tongue out at them and blowing raspberries. Culminating in me mooning them and patting my rear with a lower hand before a thrown shoe hit me and threw me further onto the rooftop and away from the edge.

I took that as a signal to stop. I looked over the sprawling city from the rooftop, trying to find an airport or something that might hint at a location or a way out of this Asian city. Hmm, a couple of those pagoda style buildings off in the distance, I think they're Chinese... or Japanese... Bliznak! Do Koreans have those too?

I don't know much about Asian cultures!