Note: This is a fic for my favorite (and only) sister's birthday. Her favorite character is Erza and mine is Gray, so we ended up with this.

As a side note, my sister is the one who forced me to watch Fairy Tail and got me obsessed with it. Without her, I wouldn't have written anything for FT at all. So thank you, sis, and I hope you have a great birthday. You are my most favoritest sister in the whole wide world :)

This story would be set shortly after Oración Seis. The first part focuses more on Erza and the second part is more about Gray. I personally like the second part better, but I'm also terribly biased because I love Gray XD

For my dearest sister:

Thank you for the smiles and laughs, the long talks and the fun times.

We've had our ups and downs, our celebrations and fights, and yet you're still the person I always want to turn to.

I'll be here for you in both the good times and the bad. And in your darkest times, remember that you don't have to rely on a riverbank of your own.

The world is a much less lonely place when you let someone else in.

No matter how badly we're fighting or how angry we are, if you tell me that you need me, I will always

-always-

come for you.

"What did I tell you about crying alone by the river?"

Erza's head jerked upwards in surprise and she twisted around to see Gray standing behind her, his hands buried in his coat pockets as he stared down at her. She quickly swiped away her tears and offered him a wobbly smile.

"Not to do it."

"Mm."

Gray took a few quick steps forward so that he was standing directly beside her and then dropped to the ground unceremoniously. Erza twisted back around so that she was facing the river once more, sighing in relief now that she didn't have to crane her neck to look up at her friend. The two sat in companionable silence for a few more seconds before Gray looked away from the river and locked gazes with Erza.

"I thought I told you to stop trying to hide your pain. You don't have to deal with everything alone when you have friends."

Erza let her gaze drift away so that she didn't have to see the quiet intensity in Gray's eyes. "I know. I just…I guess it just feels like this is something you wouldn't understand."

Gray sighed, and when she looked back at him she realized that his face had taken on a weary cast.

"Try me," he offered. "You don't know how much a person understands until you give them a chance."

She hesitated. She knew that Gray had suffered quite a bit in his lifetime and had experienced unimaginable pain—perhaps even more pain than she herself had—but she wasn't sure that he would understand this particular brand of pain. This strange mixture of betrayal, longing, failure, nostalgia, need…It was something she didn't think most people could comprehend.

"This is about Jellal, isn't it?" Gray said when she didn't respond right away. She grimaced faintly. "You've been horribly out of sorts ever since he was taken to prison. Now, if all you were upset about was that he's been taken away and likely locked up for life, you wouldn't be so convinced that no one understood your feelings. So it must be something more, but I'd bet it has to do with Jellal.

"You know, it's easy to say that no one understands you when you don't bother trying to explain things to them. If no one understands you, it's because you won't let them. Tell me what's bothering you, Erza. I think you'll find that the world is a much less lonely place when you let someone else in."

Erza smiled ruefully. There was a lot of truth in what Gray was saying, but she still wasn't quite sure that he would really be able to understand the jumble of emotions that overtook her every time she thought of Jellal, or even the importance of the current problem at hand. Especially considering the ice mage's intense dislike of her childhood friend.

"Are you sure that you aren't just going to tell me to let him go?" she asked softly, looking out over the river's sparkling waters. "I know that you and the others don't particularly like him."

Beside her, Gray shifted positions slightly and let out a breath. "No, I don't care for him overmuch. He made you cry and he hurt you terribly, perhaps more than any other person has ever hurt you. But he's an important person to you, and you're an important person to me. You see, it doesn't matter whether or not I like him. I like you and if you need him to make you happy, then I'll be willing to overlook my dislike of him in favor of my consideration for you."

Erza bit her lip and fought back fresh tears. Perhaps she wasn't giving him enough credit, because he always seemed to have the right words to make her feel better when she was hurting. It really was unfair of her to accuse him of being unable to understand her when he was trying so hard and she was refusing to let him in. He had helped her so many times before that she felt she owed him something, so she would do as he asked and give him a chance.

"You're right. I'm sorry for thinking so poorly of you."

"It's alright, Erza," he reassured her quietly. "I'm just trying to help. Let me help you."

She took a deep breath and started talking. "Well, you're right in that this is all about Jellal. When we were children in the Tower of Heaven, we relied on each other. We cared for each other and looked out for each other, and I really did look up to him. And then…he changed, you know? One day he was my best friend and the next he was my worst nightmare. That betrayal was terrible and it devastated me, but at least it was just a simple betrayal. There was a clear separation between who he had been and who he currently was. I could be upset over the friend I lost but still hate the person he became. And I thought that it was all over when he supposedly died after the Etherion explosion."

Erza took a shuddering breath and squeezed her eyes shut, tears leaking out of the corners of her eyes and slipping soundlessly down her cheeks despite her best efforts to contain them. She could still vividly remember the pain of Jellal's betrayal and the anguish of his 'death', which had signaled that the person he had once been was irrevocably lost to her. There had no longer been any chance that she could find a way to change him back to who he had been, and although his death had been painful, the finality of it had also been something of a release for her.

She opened her eyes as cool skin skimmed across her fingers. Gray's hand brushed hers in a comforting gesture for just a moment, before it dropped to the ground again. His dark eyes were sympathetic and understanding, and the depth of his care for her made her want to cry again. Instead, she offered him a wobbly smile and kept talking.

"And now I find out that he's actually somehow alive again, and he's more like the person I knew as a child. I mean, his memories are gone, but he was so kind and caring again, and it was almost like I got my friend back. But at the same time, I can still remember all the horrible things he's done, even if he can't. I really am upset that he got taken to prison because I really do want him to stay with me so that we can work things out and move on.

"And yet…I can't just forget what he did to me and my friends, even if he isn't exactly that same person anymore. I feel like I should be able to just forgive everything since he's so different now, but I can't just let go of it so easily. I've been trying and trying to forgive him, but even though I desperately want him back, I can't quite manage it. I still care about him and I still need him, but I can't trust him the same way I did before. In order to really feel at peace with myself and with him, I feel like I need to be able to forgive him completely. I want to forgive him. But…I've been trying, and I'm not sure that I can do it by myself."

She looked over at Gray with haunted eyes. "Tell me, Gray, what do you know of forgiveness?"

Her tone took on a pleading edge as she stared at him, a glimmer of hope welling inside her. She needed him to tell her how to move on when she couldn't seem to do it by herself. She still wasn't completely convinced that he would understand all the things she felt for Jellal or her desperate need to forgive him, but perhaps he could offer her something.

Gray let out a harsh bark of laughter and his eyes darkened as he looked away to gaze out at the river again.

"What do I know of forgiveness?" he repeated softly, his voice almost amused but also slightly bitter. "Is this what you thought I wouldn't understand, Erza? That I wouldn't understand the difficulty of fully forgiving someone who has wronged you but who you still desperately need to love?"

Erza flinched back, a stricken expression on her face. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean–"

"It's okay. I understand." Gray's voice softened and mellowed out, the bitterness fading away. He glanced back at her and offered her a melancholy smile.

Erza relaxed a little as she realized that whatever he was angry at wasn't her. She hadn't meant to insinuate that he wouldn't understand forgiveness. It was more that she wasn't sure he could understand what it felt like to struggle to forgive someone who quite literally couldn't remember what they had done and had pretty much changed into another person altogether. In addition, she wasn't sure that he would comprehend how much she needed to forgive Jellal and how much of a failure she felt like when she couldn't quite do it.

Gray sighed quietly. "I understand what it feels like when someone you're extremely close to suddenly turns on you and rips your heart out. I understand how it feels when they try to make it up to you and you want to forgive them and let them back in because you still need them and you're hurting yourself by being unable to look past the things they've done. I understand that even when you care about them deeply and want to forgive them, you still can't bring yourself to fully trust or forgive.

"Because every time you look at their face, you see all of their past wrongs written there, overlaid on the person they are now. And even when just the sight of them makes you want to smile because you still care about them, you can still see the traces of your demons in their eyes. You want to be able to look at them and not see your pain and betrayal reflected there, but no matter how hard you try, there's something in their face that holds you back and refuses to allow you to completely let go of everything bad they've done. And you feel terrible because you should be able to let it all go but you can't. It feels like you've failed because you can't bring yourself to really see them the way you saw them before they hurt you.

"No, I've never been in quite your situation, but I think that I have a pretty good understanding of at least some of what you're going through."

Erza blinked at him, hardly daring to even breathe until he finished talking. Gray lapsed into silence and stared out pensively at the swirling waters, a faraway look in his eyes. Erza let out a breath and studied him for a few moments. Yes, she could believe that he understood now. His words had a quiet certainty that spoke of recognition and comprehension, and he had done a good job of describing some of the things she had been feeling. In fact, it sounded as if he had a Jellal of his own in his life, although she didn't know who that might be. She considered it for a few moments before coming up with a guess. Before she could ask, he added something else.

"But then again, there's someone I've never been able to forgive no matter how hard I tried, so perhaps I'm not the best person to be giving you advice," he said quietly, his eyes never straying from the river.

Erza frowned at that last comment. It seemed to invalidate her previous guess, but she had to ask anyway. "Are you talking about Lyon?" she asked curiously. "I thought you forgave him."

Gray glanced back at her, a startled and confused look in his eyes. Then he tilted his head to one side and his expression took on a contemplative edge as he seemed to consider her words.

"Lyon? Hm…" He considered it for a moment longer before nodding slowly. "Yes, there are some similarities between what happened with Lyon and what happened with Jellal, I suppose," he mused. "But you're right—I forgave him a long time ago."

Erza's frown deepened. His surprised reaction made it clear that Lyon wasn't who he had had in mind. She didn't know who else he could be talking about.

"Who is it that you can't forgive then?" she questioned. Perhaps if he could tell her more about how he himself dealt with a situation similar to her own, it would give her insights into how to handle her current problem with Jellal.

A hint of bitter amusement touched his face as his mouth curled upwards into a sardonic half-smile. "No one terribly important," he said, the mildness of his voice in sharp contrast with the bitterness in his eyes.

Erza was dying to question him further, but something in his expression told her that she wouldn't be able to coax anything more out of him on this topic.

"Alright," she said with a sigh. "But if you really have had a similar experience as me and you've also been able to forgive other people like Lyon, could you help me? I just…I need to be able to forgive Jellal as completely as possible. It's not fair that I look at him and see the boy who tore my life apart and the man who killed Simon and brainwashed my friends. I mean, he's a different person now. But I don't–I don't understand how to let that go."

Gray's expression softened once more as he searched her face. Then he looked back out at the river as he considered her request. "Well, I don't know how much help I'll be, but I suppose that the least I can do is try. At this particular moment there are three main things I can think of that are important for forgiveness." He began dissecting the problem clinically, his voice emotionless and detached.

"First, the person you're trying to forgive must recognize that they were wrong, and they need to try to change their ways and make things up to you. I think that this might be where you're having the most trouble, because Jellal can't actually do that right now. He knows that he did terrible things, but he can't remember them. He might be sorry, but does he even know what he's sorry for? He changed, yes, but that change was caused by outside factors beyond his control and not by a conscious effort. Is it fair to blame a man for things he can't remember? Yet how can you forgive someone who hasn't recognized how they hurt you? That's something you'll have to figure out how to reconcile. Now, if we're using Lyon as an example then you can see how this should work, under normal circumstances. He realized that he made a terrible mistake when he resurrected Deliora and he recognized that his actions hurt me. And I'm sure you can see how he has changed from Galuna Island. That made it easier for me to let go of what he did.

"Now, the second thing is that you have to realize that the person you're trying to forgive has both bad and good qualities," he continued, dropping his hand to idly swirl his fingers in the river. "It's easy to get caught up in how they hurt you and in all the things they've done wrong. If you really want to forgive them, you have to recognize that they have good qualities too, the same as anyone else. I don't think that you're having a problem with that. You remember all the good qualities Jellal had as a child, and you've seen his better side coming through now that he isn't burdened by his past. I had something similar with Lyon, since I could remember how close we were as children and how much he meant to me before we had our break. He made some pretty awful mistakes, but when he's started showing his better side again. He can be annoying and stubborn, but he's also loyal to a fault and always ends up treating me like family when I'm around. Because I keep in mind his better characteristics, it makes it easier to forgive him for his worse ones."

He paused and seemed to be lost in thought as he stared at his pale fingers drifting in the clear water. Erza waited for him to continue, but soon grew impatient. She was eager to hear the rest of his advice, and didn't want to deal with delays.

"And the third thing?" she prompted.

Gray let out a breath and withdrew his hand from the river, drying his wet fingers on his pants. He tilted his head upwards to study the slowly darkening sky.

"The third thing," he began, still not looking at her, "is that you have to remember that you have both good and bad qualities as well. It's easy to blame other people for their mistakes and shortcomings when you conveniently forget about your own problems. Recognizing your own flaws and mistakes makes it easier to forgive other people for theirs. No one's perfect. If you want a second chance after you screw up, it makes sense that you'd give other people second chances as well. The thing that made it the easiest for me to forgive Lyon was recognizing that I was partially at fault as well. I've made mistakes, and some of those mistakes started a chain reaction that was at least partially responsible for Lyon's poor decisions. I'm not saying that you've made mistakes anywhere near as terrible as Jellal's, but it's easier to forgive when you remember how imperfect you are."

He finished speaking and silence fell over the duo for a few minutes as Erza mulled over his advice. She knew that she wasn't perfect and she could bring to mind any number of mistakes and character flaws that had plagued her over the years. Perhaps keeping those in mind would help her have an easier time forgiving Jellal for what he had done, but she had to agree with Gray that it was the first point that was the real issue here. She knew her own flaws and she knew Jellal's good side, but it was the memory thing that was causing problems. It might not be fair to blame Jellal for something he couldn't remember, but it was also difficult to let go of what he had done when he couldn't really understand it. She felt that she needed him to understand how he had hurt her in order for her to really find closure.

She sighed as she studied Gray's profile. He had so neatly summarized the things that she should do that everything seemed so simple, even though she knew it wasn't.

"You make it sound so easy," she said wistfully. "I don't understand how you have such an easy time forgiving everyone."

Because, despite his assertion that there was one person he was unable to fully forgive, Gray had always been a rather forgiving person. He was always quick to excuse others for their mistakes when they hurt him and he didn't hold grudges against them. Erza could be forgiving for smaller issues as well, but she had nothing on him. Gray could hold grudges against people if they hurt his friends, but he was almost always quick to forgive anyone who hurt him. She didn't understand how he could do it so easily.

He looked over at her again, that startled light flashing in his eyes once more. His lips twitched upwards into a sardonic half-smile again. "Easy?" he asked dryly. "No one ever said it was easy. No, forgiveness is rarely easy. And if, as you claim, I have an easier time forgiving people, then perhaps it's just because I'm more aware of my mistakes and flaws and have a lot more to go around.

"Easy." He snorted derisively and shook his head. "I'm sure you've realized by now that forgiveness can be far from easy. Just because you're having a difficult time doesn't mean that you're doing it wrong or that you're failing. It just means that you're human."

Erza bit her lip as they met and held each other's gazes. She could see the sense in everything he was saying and she could take comfort from his reassurances, but that didn't stop her from feeling like a failure.

"I just…I guess I knew that it wouldn't be easy. But all this time I've been trying so hard to forgive and forget, and I just can't do it. I guess it feels like I'm failing because I still haven't been able to forgive him completely, despite how much I care about him. And I'm scared, because I'm not sure that I'll ever be able to."

She turned her head away, but Gray reached out and grasped her chin, gently twisting her head back around so that she was looking into his eyes again.

"Your first problem," he said quietly, "is that you should never forgive and forget. If you forget, you'll end up like Jellal is now, your relationships only hollow imitations of what they once were. It's forgive but not forget, Erza. It's possible to forgive someone without forgetting or ignoring the things they did to hurt you. Relationships are built off the good and the bad. Taking out all the mistakes and fights and betrayals will completely change the dynamic of a relationship. My friendship with Lyon would be very different today if I chose to completely ignore what he did on Galuna. He made a mistake and we both overcame it, and that altered our relationship. It's not necessarily any better or worse, but it is different. You have a right to remember how Jellal hurt you, even if you do find a way to forgive him."

Gray sighed and leaned back, although he kept his eyes fixed on Erza. "Secondly, you're calling yourself a failure way too soon. No wonder people have such a hard time forgiving others when they don't understand what forgiveness really is. Forgiveness isn't just some end product. Forgiveness is a process. It doesn't happen in a day—it's something that you work on, for days, months, years, a lifetime. You feel like a failure because you haven't been able to completely forgive Jellal yet, but you aren't looking at any of your successes. Haven't you come closer to forgiving him today than you were a few weeks ago? Or a few years? Forgiving him might be something you have to work at for the rest of your life, and that's okay. Forgiveness isn't a 'yes or no' kind of thing. It's not like you'll wake up one day a year from now and realize that you've suddenly forgiven Jellal. You've already started forgiving him. Perhaps you haven't been able to forgive him completely yet—and perhaps you never will—but you've begun forgiving bits and pieces. That's an accomplishment in and of itself."

Erza stared at him speechlessly, turning over his words in her mind. Everything he said seemed so well thought out that she had to assume that the topic of forgiveness was something he had spent quite some time considering before. His insights had to come from a great deal of previous introspection and thought, and she was grateful for them. He had said a lot of helpful and encouraging things, but she chose to latch on to the idea of forgiveness as a process.

She had begun to suspect that her need to fully forgive Jellal might turn out to be impossible, and that had made her feel horrible about herself. But here was Gray saying that it was okay because she had at least partially forgiven him and was learning how to forgive him more and more each day. Put like that, the progress she had made so far seemed more like an accomplishment than a reminder that she hadn't been able to reach the end goal.

"I suppose you're right," she said finally. "I think that this talk has actually helped a lot, so thank you for that. And thank you for coming to find me again."

Gray's eyes softened as he relaxed and gave her a crooked smile. "Of course. Anything for you, Erza," he responded fondly.

She smiled back. He always was taking care of her, and that was something she would always be grateful for.

"And if I can do anything for you in return…"

He chuckled softly and his smile widened. "Anything?"

Erza was immediately suspicious, and narrowed her eyes at him. "Anything within reason," she clarified, her tone cautious.

Gray's grin softened at the edges and melted into a warm smile. "Well, there is something you can do for me."

"What is it?" she asked, still wary.

"I want you to promise me that you'll stop hiding out here and crying alone when you're upset. Next time you have a problem, come to me or one of the others instead of just assuming that we won't understand you. Even if you don't want to tell us all the details—or even what the problem is—just come to us so that you aren't all alone."

Erza swallowed hard and looked at the ground as tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. "Yeah," she rasped. "I'll try."

"All I ask is that you remember that you aren't alone," he told her in a quiet voice. "You don't have to face everything by yourself. Even if we can't solve your problems for you, we can still stand by you every step of the way. Alright?"

Erza gave him a wavering smile through the silent tears dripping down her face. "Alright," she agreed in a whisper.

Gray gently wiped away her tears with his thumb, his skin cool against her cheek. Then he stood in one fluid motion and leaned down as he reached out a hand to her. She grasped it in one of her own and he pulled her up easily. Once she was on her feet, he gave her a lopsided smile.

"I never like to see you cry, but if you do have to cry, make sure that you aren't crying out here by yourself." He glanced back towards the guild, squinting slightly into the slowly darkening dusk. "Now, what do you say we leave this old river behind?"

Erza looked up at him. "As long as you come with me."

His smile didn't waver. "Always."