A/N: Don't take this too seriously because I'm sure not. It's heavily inspired by the song, "Joey is a Punk-Rocker" by Joe Iconis.
Clarke was dealing with a monumental problem. It was huge. Bigger than the ACTs, finally getting her license, and the new presidential campaign combined. She had a crush. Now, usually, this would be pretty big on it's own, but it was who she had a crush on that was really the issue. It was Lexa Woods. The thought alone gave her so many mixed emotions, she was almost overwhelmed by it all. Having a crush on a girl wasn't really the important part; Clarke had known about and accepted her bisexuality for years. Besides, she lived in a pretty liberal area, so she wasn't too worried about that aspect of things. It was just that… did it really have to be her? Clarke had no qualms with the girl, obviously, but people would absolutely not accept her dating such a, such a… such a punk. As much as she didn't like it, there was a very clear social hierarchy in high school and the head cheerleader just couldn't date someone like Lexa. Besides, her mom would have a total fit if she ever found out. God forbid, Clarke though to herself.
"Hey, Clarke!" Octavia greeted excitedly, nearly jumping on her back in her haste to give her a hug. Clarke just about jumped out of her skin and clutched her heart, trying to force it to calm down.
"Holy shit, Octavia, you scared me!" she said, trying to catch her breath.
Octavia giggled, pulling away from her. "Sorry, I didn't mean to. You were just staring into your locker like some kind of zombie robot weirdo, so I came over to see what was up. Are you freaking over yesterday's history quiz? I know totally bombed."
Clarke smiled at her friend, thankful for the girl's distracting, energetic personality. "No, it's nothing like that. I mean, yeah, I definitely failed that test too, but that's not it. I was just… thinking."
"About what?" Octavia asked, looping her arm through Clarke's and steering them towards the gym. They needed to be ready in five minutes for their mid-day cheerleading practice, so Clarke let Octavia lead her away from her locker.
For a moment, Clarke considered telling Octavia how she had been feeling recently, remembering fondly how well the girl had taken the news of her sexuality. She knew her friend would never judge her for something as silly as who she liked, but Clarke just couldn't bring herself to spill. Plus, it would be a disaster if someone over-heard her and people loved to eavesdrop in the hallways. Her peers were basically vultures.
She shook her head, "Nothing important. Come on, let's get a move on. I really don't wanna run extra laps for being late," she tugged on Octavia's arm so that she would speed up, missing the suspicious look on her best friend's face.
A little over an hour later, Clarke was sitting at her usual lunch table with Octavia and a handful of other people (mostly jocks). She was pretty sure Octavia was icing her, but had no way to ask her about it without drawing attention to herself if the reason behind her friend's attitude was what she thought it was. She really hadn't thought Octavia would be this upset and, though Clarke hated being the cause of it, she felt her own annoyance bubbling up as well. It's not like we have to share everything, she thought to herself, knowing that that was bullshit. The two literally did share everything, from clothes to their most closely-guarded secrets. So… whatever. Clarke knew Octavia had a good reason to be upset, but that didn't mean she couldn't be upset over her being upset. She groaned, rubbing her temple. She could feel a headache coming on and the more she thought about everything, the worse it got.
"What's eating you, Queen Bee?" Raven asked, sitting down beside her.
Clarke rolled her eyes, "Nothing."
"Alright, so Blake is ignoring you over nothing," she said, shrugging. Clarke turned to scowl at her, but Raven just smiled and shrugged. "Look, I know you and I have weird history-" Understatement of the fucking century, Clarke thought to herself. "-but we're kinda pals, alright. Basically, what I'm saying is, if you two are fighting and you need to, like, vent or whatever, I'm not a bad listener. Don't ask for advice though. The last piece of advice I gave, was telling you to give Finn a chance and we both know how badly that shit turned out."
Clarke's stomach churned sickeningly at the memories Raven's blasé comment stirred up. Last year had been hard on both of them. Last year, Finn, Raven's boyfriend at the time, had cheated on her with Clarke (who didn't know he and Raven were dating at the time). When both of them found out, Raven had been understandably crushed but told Clarke to give Finn a real chance, thinking he was still a good guy despite everything. Then he cheated on Clarke too and she dumped him immediately. She and Raven had never really been the same afterward. They had never been close friends, but it was still incredibly awkward between the two for a long time.
Clarke shook the thoughts away. She eyed the other girl with open apprehension, but couldn't detect any insincerity. "You're being oddly mature… What would be in it for you?" she asked, unsure if her 'pal' was being genuine or just playing at some game.
"Shit, nothing really. I guess it's kinda funny watching you get all red and huffy when you're ranting, but that's just a bonus." Raven sighed and turned to fully face Clarke, meeting her eyes. "Look, I've just realized some shit recently and I'm still dealing with it all. One of those things is that I've been a little hard on you for bad reasons. You're cool. I'm cool. We can be… cool."
Clarke giggled at Raven's unusual rambling and inability to properly vocalize her feelings. Such a jock. Technically, Raven wasn't really a jock, but she definitely acted like one at times. The girl didn't fit in any specific social group because she was so multifaceted and flat-out refused to play by high school rules. Clarke envied her for that. A lot of people did, but none would ever admit it. It was thanks to that knowledge and the fact that Clarke generally believed in second chances that she found herself agreeing. "Okay, Raven. We can be cool. Don't make me regret it though. I hear cheerleaders can be pretty mean when we wanna be."
Raven smirked and nodded, knocking her shoulder against Clarke's. "Hear ya' loud and clear. I'll catch you later, alright? I got some stuff that needs handling."
Clarke said goodbye and quirked an eyebrow as Raven took off, noting that she hadn't actually eaten anything. Shrugging, she went back to her own food, catching Octavia's worried look as she did so. She smiled, shaking her head to let her know that everything was fine and felt her grin widen when Octavia gave her one in return.
No more than five seconds had passed since Raven's leave before someone else took her place.
"Hey," she heard a familiar voice say. I can't have one moment of peace, can I?
"What, Finn?" Clarke groaned, barely suppressing an eye roll.
"I was thinking about taking you out this Friday. How does eight sound?" he asked, giving her what he must have thought was a charming grin.
She actually did roll her eyes at that. "No."
"No? Just like that? You're not even gonna give me chance?"
"Nope. You had your chance last year. You blew that chance last year. Twice. So, no." she replied, not even looking at him as she did so. If she was being honest with herself, which Clarke tried to be as often as possible, the pain of being turned into a cheater and then getting cheated on still burned a little and she didn't want Finn to see that he still affected her in any way.
She heard him huff and had to suppress her mounting urge to punch him as he leaned closer. "Come on, babe. I'm a different guy now. That won't happen again. I promise."
"Really? So you're not dating Eve Holly?" she questioned in a tone that said she clearly already knew the answer. "We're all in the same English class, moron. You can go away now," Clarke finished, dismissing him in her practiced, HBIC tone. She mentally grimaced, having never been fond of needing a HBIC voice, though it definitely had is perks.
"I'll dump her, I swear-" he started, but was quickly interrupted as a carton of milk was poured in his lap. "What the fuck!?"
Clarke gasped in shock, her eyes traveling up her current savior's arm until she was facing Lexa Woods in all of her punk glory. She seemed to have appeared out of thin air, but she must have been close enough to notice Finn being an ass. Clarke's mouth hung open in shock as she stared at the girl before her, taking in everything as quickly as possible. The girl was dressed in her typical punk garb (ripped jeans, ripped band tee, ripped jacket, lip piercing). Clarke's eyes lingered on the lip ring for a few extra moments before continuing. Lexa had an obscene amount of eye make-up going on (Really, what else is new?) and her hair fell in messy curls in a way that made Clarke want to bury her hands in it. Clarke was all but mesmerized, not even noticing as Finn jumped out of his chair, glaring at Lexa with barely contained fury, his hands clenched into fists.
"Sorry. My hand slipped," Lexa offered blithely. The corner of her lips quirked up almost imperceptibly as she looked back at Clark and then she was gone, walking off to wherever she spent her lunch period. Probably smoking in her car or something else equally disgusting. Clarke continued to stare at the place Lexa had been standing for several more moments before the sound of Finn growling and stomping away snapped her out of her Lexa-induced reverie.
She glanced around to see if anyone had noticed her behavior and sighed when Octavia gave her a look that clearly said 'what the fuck?'. She mouthed a quick 'later' to her friend and got up to leave, her appetite long since lost.
The rest of the day seemed to fly by and before Clarke knew it, she and Octavia were sitting on the couch in her living room, pretending to watch a Top Chef re-run. Clarke knew it was only a matter of time before Octavia questioned her again and Clarke had waited on pins and needles for over an hour before her friend finally turned the tv off and faced her with a determined glint in her eye.
"Alright, Clarke, this is ridiculous. You have to tell me what's going on."
"Okay, well-" Clarke started, but was drowned out as Octavia continued.
"You've been weird all day and I saw the way you looked at that Lexa girl, so don't even deny it."
"I'm not-" she tried again, only to be talked over again.
"I'm your best friend! Doesn't that mean anything!?"
Clarke rolled her eyes and huffed, "Octavia, come on-"
"Do you not trust me? Is that it? Ugh, just tell me!" she whined, giving Clarke her best pout.
After waiting a few moments to see if Octavia was going to start whining again, she smiled at her friend. "Chill, okay? I already decided I was going to tell you. I was just waiting for you to bring it up again."
"Oh," Octavia muttered, looking slightly chastised though no less curious.
"Right." Clarke patted her friend's knee and scooted closer, lowering her voice. She felt like she couldn't admit to her feelings at a normal speaking volume. Secrets had to be shared in hushed tones. It was basically a law. "Octavia, we are best friends and it means everything to me, so there's something important I have to tell you," she began, biting her lip.
"Jeez, this is bringing back a lot of memories from the big Coming Out Day," Octavia joked, trying to ease Clarke's nerves a little.
Clarke shook her head and continued. "Look, it's about Lexa Woods. That girl from earlier-"
"Yeah, I know who she is," Octavia interrupted.
"Do you wanna know what's going on or not?" Clarke scolded her, glaring without any real ill will.
"Right. Sorry." She mimed zipping her lips and looked at Clarke with her full intention.
Clarke sighed, feeling like she had completely lost her groove. Just get over with. Do it like a band aid. "I-kinda-have-a-crush-on-her," she mumbled, rushing through the words.
Octavia furrowed her brow and shook her head, looking wholly confused. "Could you speak like a real person? I thought I heard you say you like Lexa Woods."
Groaning, Clarke buried her head in her hands. She could feel her face heating up and couldn't face her friend right now.
"Oh. My. God. You do! You have a crush on Lexa Woods?" she exclaimed, pulling Clarke's hands away from her face to confirm it once and for all. "How fucking Twilight Zone!"
"Ugh, don't say it like that!" Clarke whined, resting her forehead on Octavia's shoulders. "Is it that weird?"
She felt and heard Octavia chuckle. "Well, considering it's you, yeah. She's totally not your type, Clarke. Like, you know I'm all for slumming it, but you always go after the pretty, rich hotties. What happened?"
"I don't know!" Clarke whined again, pouting. "It was just like one day things were totally normal and fine and the next day, I see her and it's like that Cupid prick shot me right in the ass! What am I going to do, Octavia!"
Octavia laughed lightly, pulling Clarke in for a comforting hug. "Hey, it's okay. Have you thought about maybe talking to her? Does she even have any interests besides smoking and dumping milk on your asshole ex?"
"That was so cool, right?" Clarke grinned, remembering the look on Finn's face. Priceless. "I have no idea why she did it, but I can't stop thinking about it."
"Why don't you ask her?"
"No! No no no no no no. Nope. No way. I can't talk to her! Have you seen her!?"
Chuckling, Octavia shook her head fondly at Clarke and rolled her eyes. "So… what? You're just gonna watch her from afar for the rest of you high school life? Clarke, I've seen you pine. You're way too obvious."
Clarke smacked her friend with a couch pillow. "Don't be rude. I'm having a serious crisis!" She sighed and shifted so she could rest her head on Octavia's lap. "I could never be with her anyway. My mom would die and who knows what everyone at school would do."
Octavia frowned. She was pretty sure no one at school would care half as much as Clarke seemed to think they would, but Abby was weirdly obsessed with maintaining a certain image. She had been okay with Clarke's sexuality because it didn't matter who Clarke dated, so long as they were from a proper background. If Clarke ever brought Lexa home… Octavia cringed at the prospect of the fight that would cause. Not knowing how or even if she could console Clarke at the moment, she settled for playing with her hair and turning the tv back on. At least it was a distraction.
The next few days passed uneventfully. Finn left her alone, Raven was treating her like an actual friend, and she was still watching Lexa from afar. Octavia had teased her about being a chicken shit every time she noticed her pining, but it was all in good fun. Clarke couldn't really be mad at Octavia for the jokes anyway; she kind of had a point.
Clarke rolled her eyes, having gotten lost in her thoughts again, and forced herself to focus on the notes her history teacher was writing on the board. It was just so boring and even if it was interesting, Clarke was sure she wouldn't have been able to concentrate anyway. Lexa was in this class and Clarke found herself staring at her way too often to be healthy. Octavia had noticed it as well and kept shooting her teasing grins. The whole thing was really becoming an issue. Especially academically. She had never been a perfect student, but she had never failed a class before and she was suddenly facing the very real possibility of failing this one. It was all Lexa's fault. If she wasn't so intriguing, Clarke would be fine.
"Clarke, come on!" Octavia snapped in her face and Clarke startled, realizing she had been daydreaming again. She glared at her friend but the other girl just smirked. "The bell rang, like, thirty seconds ago and you were just staring off into space. Again. People are going to start thinking you're a stoner if you keep doing that."
Clarke rolled her eyes and gathered her stuff. "It's not my fault this class is so boring," she grumbled, gathering her things.
"Right… Anyway, I wanted to ask you if we could ride together next Friday?" Octavia asked as they walked, heading toward their lockers.
"Why? What's next Friday?"
"Um, fall break and the Junior class camping trip? Seriously, you've been excited about it for months!" Octavia looked at her like she had grown a second head.
"Oh, right!" Clarke beamed, feeling her mood lighten considerably. She had never camped before and was convinced it was going to be an amazing trip. It was completely optional, being a student-organized activity and generally frowned upon by the teachers and parents, but the idea of being away from all of her troubles for three whole days was too good an opportunity to pass up. Plus, the landscape would be a nice change for her sketches. "Yeah, I kinda already assumed we'd both take my car."
"Yay! I can't wait!" Octavia grinned, bouncing on her toes with excitement. Clarke felt her own smile widen at her friend's enthusiasm.
"Can't wait for what?" Raven asked, sidling up next to the pair.
"The camping trip, eavesdropper. Are you going?" Clarke bit her lip and then continued, "If you need a ride, I have a car. Octavia's riding with me too."
Raven shook her head. "Nah, but thanks. Monty, Jasper, and some randos are going with Lexa and they said I could hitch a ride with them."
"I didn't know Lexa had a car. Clarke, did you know Lexa had a car?" Octavia asked with an obviously exaggerated interest, trying to goad her into a reaction.
"Why would I know that?" Clarke responded flatly. She could feel Octavia's eyes on her and pointedly ignored her.
Raven eyed them suspiciously, crossing her arms. "What's going on? You two are dorks, but you're not usually this weird."
Octavia scoffed, but didn't say anything further, her eyes still boring into the side of Clarke's head.
"It's nothing," Clarke sighed. "Octavia's just being a pest," she stated, forcing herself to remain nonchalant. Octavia smacked her shoulder, though she didn't vocally defend herself.
Raven looked like she was about to question further but, thankfully, decided against it and settled for a smirk instead. "Whatever, I don't care. You two losers better set up camp next to me by the way. There's only so much of Monty and Jasper I can handle before I start lose braincells from just listening to them."
Clarke nodded in understanding. It wasn't that the two were unintelligent – well, Monty wasn't – but, they had a reputation of being huge stoners and it was hard to be around them for extended periods of time. "Yeah, okay. That sounds-" Clarke's sentence dropped off as she realized who else she'd be camping near if she agreed. Her eyes widened and she began worrying her bottom lip. "Is, uh… Are you guys gonna be set up with- with, um, Lexa?"
Octavia tried to stifle her laughter but failed spectacularly and that, paired with Clarke's awkwardness, had Raven furrowing her brow. "Uh, yeah? I'm riding with her, so it'd be fucking rude as hell if I didn't. What's up with you two and Lexa? Every time she's come up in the last couple days, you-" she pointed at Clarke "-get this dork ass deer caught in headlights look and you-" she turned her attention to Octavia "-immediately look at Clarke and get all secretive. So, don't lie to me. I know something's up. Did you three kill someone over the summer and now you're starting to crack up?"
Clarke rolled her eyes, scolding herself for her lack of subtlety. "I really don't want to talk about it. At least, not here," she said, glancing around at all the students milling about.
"It's not even a big deal. Clarke's just being dramatic. You know how she is," Octavia added, sticking her tongue out at Clarke when she elbowed her.
"Fine. But I want to know eventually. We're trying to be friends and that can't happen if you keep stuff from me." If Raven wasn't too cool to pout, Clarke was sure she would have whipped it out right about now. It would go perfectly with the guilt trip.
"I will. Later." Grabbing her things, Clarke marched off, not wanting to give the other two a chance to try anything. She did feel bad for keeping Raven out of the loop, but they had only been trying the friend thing for a couple days and Clarke wasn't sure she trusted her. She knew she should. Raven had always been good at keeping secrets and Clarke had been thankful for that last year, but she was still wary. Clarke sighed and shoved her thoughts away as she reached her class, deciding to think more about it later.
That evening, as Clarke was lying in her bed and ignoring her mother due to another fight, she heard her phone chirp. She smiled when she saw it was from Raven but it quickly disappeared when she read what it said.
'hey, you never said if you were gonna set up camp with me and the others. so?'
Clarke bit her lip, considering her options. If Raven wasn't going to be camping with Lexa, it would have been an easy choice but that, unfortunately, wasn't the case. Still though, who else would she and Octavia hang out with if not Raven? She really didn't want to spend the whole trip with her squad, having little in common with the other girls outside of cheerleading and she didn't talk to many other people outside of school. Sure, they could just hang out alone but, now that the option of spending their days with a larger group was on the table, Clarke felt like things had the potential to be much more fun that way. Also, she kinda just wanted to be near Lexa for a little while despite how nerve-wracking that thought was.
'yeah, sounds like fun. bring extra marshmallows. octavia can eat a whole bag by herself.'
Clarke sent her response and then rolled over to bury her head in her pillows. She had a feeling things were going to get a little more interesting come next weekend.