And I'm back at it again for the last time of the year. This is a shorter chapter I wanted to get out before the year ended, and I promise I'll be working on the longest chapter yet to follow hopefully early next year.

Thank you for all the recent love and support given to this fic, especially within this year. It might not seem like much but the fact someone was able to take a few minutes of their time to review my story means a lot. So thank you all for the support.

Hope you had a wonderful 2019, I'll see you all next year...

Journal Entry #43 1/2

I've been finding some weird stuff under my bed recently. Like, a lot of gunpowder.

I don't even...

James POV

I was dead...

I had to be...

I barely feel a thing, if you can call sudden, uncontrollable waves of pain as feeling. But it was more like someone reached in my chest and grabbed my heart but didn't bother to pull it out all the way. Other than that, I don't feel a thing. I don't even know if I have arms or legs anymore, it's like im a prisoner in my own body. I can certainly think, but that's about it. And the only thing I could think about was what happened not a moment ago.

The last thing I saw before darkness imprisoned me was Cupa, the creeper girl whom I'd just confessed my feelings toward after mere weeks upon discovering her in the woods. Yet those weeks felt like a lifetime after living years as an outsider myself, and what a lifetime it was. It was always hard for me to imagine someone else experiencing the same feeling of loneliness that I felt...before I met her.

And now, I may have just lost her.

The last thing I saw was Cupa on her stomach as she crawled towards my downed body like an Enderman desperate to reach the shadows during the day. I had thrown her away from the spider, which caught us off guard. I tried my best to keep it away from her, and its fangs away from me, and I failed at both. What a cave spider was doing so far from the underground was no longer a question I had in mind.

The only thing that concerned me was Cupa...

Oh Notch... this can't be how it ends. Being trapped in this limbo like stage knowing that Cupa was most likely being attacked by the spider. Powerless to do anything other than what?...wait until my body eventually fails me? No. That won't be how I go out.

But before I was actually aware of what was going on, I've already opened my eyes... and I see nothing.

No light... no sound.

No sound except for a rapid beat that echoed all around me. My heartbeat maybe? I was hyperventilating…I could feel it in my chest. Maybe fate was mocking me. Not allowing me to die suddenly, but rather slowly. I can already imagine what I must look on the outside. What Cupa must be seeing. And its more horrifying than any mob i'd ever seen. Despite not being able to move, I imagined my body shaking in a cold sweat.

N-No… No… This isn't right...

This wasn't supposed to happen, but here I am in this cold, dark abyss. Waiting... waiting for death I suppose.

I have already lost my parents, whoever they were. I lost the only father figure I ever had. Even still, I lived a decent life made all the more interesting when she came into it. All the more perfect...And now, I can only lie here idly and wait until Notch finally decides where to take me. And even worse... there is little to nothing I can do about it...oh notch, I have to try...I have to wake up. Somehow. There has to be something...

How am I supposed wake up when I don't even know whats real and what isn't? The unreal silence between heartbeats is going to drive me insane but I don't have enough strength to even block it out...

W-Why…? Why am I still here? If I can't live then at least let me die... This can't real...I spent my life being an outcast...the last few years trying to be the best I could be... the last few weeks being a caretaker… the last few hours contemplating my life...and the last few minutes confessing myself to someone I wish I had had more time with.

All of that just to lead me here?… It just can't be… The world can't be that cruel…

… Just please… tell me this is just a bad dream… Its bad enough I don't know what to expect...but I can't leave Cupa alone. She's been alone long enough...she can't go through this again… what will she do? Will she get help? Will the villagers even help her? I don't have the strength of mind to bear the idea of her lying next to my dead body...just, hoping to notch I'd wake up.

...wake up and tell her everything was going to be OK...

My breathing hitched as feeling returned to me for the first time in a while. Hot tears ran down my cheeks, whether they are my own i'm unsure off. But I can tell you with full confidence that I have only minutes left. Somehow, I knew that much was true. I couldn't fight, i couldn't wake, so the only thing left to do was wait... Perhaps, notch willing, my life will flash before my eyes before I go.

At the least I could relive the good parts of my life one last time...

''James?''

My breath hitch once more at the sound of someone calling my name. Sitting in silence for a few moments before it was repeated, this time much louder. ''James my boy... it is you!'' ...That voice...it couldn't be. I mean, I guess it can but...that just means im...

''What are you doing here?'' I heard it again. The voice of the man who raised me, but I still couldn't see a thing. For all I knew it was just my dying brain going through shock, attempting to deny the reality of it all by mimicking the voices of those I loved. But even with a head full of imagination could I ever create such an accurate vocal depiction. ''I'd say I welcome you but...you're a few, good years away from this, don't you think?'' There was no mistaking it now. This was the voice of the late Sam Blackdraith. This means im either dead or on my way to...

How was this possible?

I was never much of a believer of an afterlife. I kinda assumed you had this one chance and, maybe if you were lucky you'd get to see the face of Notch. But no matter the case, I still couldn't see and tried calling out with my voice, but found that I couldn't make a sound. Other than my ever slowing heartbeat and uneasy breathing. It was almost as if my vocal cords had simply shut down. Yet somehow I could still feel the tears that rushed down my face. Whether they're from thoughts of Cupa being so close to my dying body or Sam being so close to my dying soul, I guess i'll never know.

''Don't try to speak, James. You'll waste your energy, and you need all of that to get up.'' I heard him say from all directions. Unable to turn my head any which way, I tried calling out with my mind before suddenly feeling as if my entire nervous system had been struck by lightning. I couldn't feel it per say but I had this, notion that something just pushed hard against my chest. It happened once more before Sam's voice came from the darkness...

''Listen to me... you know very well that you can't give up now. And I'd be a terrible parent if I let you leave that poor girl alone again.'' Sam said as the pressure on my chest increased. Like iron ingots being stacked on my lungs, one by one. The echoing of my heartbeat slowing to uncomfortable levels. To a point you couldn't even tell what they were supposed to be. My father figures voice becoming background noise to my excessive breathing. ''I don't know much about her, but I know how you feel for her, and how she feels the same, even if love is still a mystery to both of you.''

The impact of something even heavier atop the already stacked ingots was, in a way, incredible… if not very painful. My entire head felt like it was split in half, even my ears were ringing strongly and even my already blackened vision somehow became darker. I felt another on the base of my chest. My lungs began to burn...even still, Sam's voice kept on.

'But what I am certain of is this... it is not your time to leave. And if you want to stay there, you have to get up. Now!'' I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my skull and I could no longer feel the pressure increasing. Then...I suddenly began to see things, speeding past me faster than lightning strikes the ground. I could feel again too, mostly things I'd become associated with. Certain tastes, textures, sounds. Remembering it all in a matter of seconds as I felt the metaphorical stack on ingots fall from my chest and pave way to everything I'd ever known...

I could feel the arms of another human who hastily left me at the edge of a forest...

The rain dropping down upon me like an endless wave of pellets as I relived the moment I first met Sam...

The scrape on my knuckles the first time I lifted a shovel...

The pain in my ankles from working in the village fields...

The softness of Pickles fur when I found him hiding in an apple tree...

The firm bear hugs Sam would greet me with...

The cold touch of Cupas frozen body when I carried her to my home...

The warmth I felt when I held her in my arms...

The heartache from when I accepted Sams passing...

The feel of Cupas lips against mine melting all my problems away.

I opened my eyes again to see nothing but pure white through watery tears that rained down my face. My breathing returning to a stable pattern. My hands grasping my chest, searching until I found my heart. Running my hands through my hair until I was sure I wasn't hallucinating. Feeling a sudden burst of energy as color began to return to my vision that accompanied the voice of Sam.

''James...I'm sorry I left you so sudden. Had I had the choice, I would have stayed. But that says very little... what matters now, is that you wake yourself up.'' He said with a hint of concern in his voice. To me, this indicated time sensitivity. Who knows how long I have... but he's right. I can't give up now. I have to wake up.

I have to wake up.

''If not for me, then for her. She needs you as much as you need her.''

He was right... I mustn't give up now. Not after everything...

In that instant, I lashed out with everything I had. I focused all my energy into waking myself up from this...from this death. I couldn't let it take away, not from her...I couldn't leave Cupa alone..Somehow, I know she's still going on, fighting off her doubt as long as she can... doing whatever she can. If she sees me back down now, she will be devastated… And then, I'll have lost her forever.

Like waking myself up from a nightmare, I began to grow a sense of where exactly I was. Starting with a deep breath for the first time in forever, tasting a strange mixture of melon water as air filled my lungs. Feeling wet grass against the back of my head, in the palms of my hands. I'm exactly where I was before I passed out, at the edge of the house.

Smelling the moist air and feeling rain against my skin as a familiar sound entered my waking ears. It was crying, and crying I knew all to well. My eyes opening to the blurry sight of Cupa clutching my body as if her life itself depended on it. Her head buried under mine. I attempted to move my arms but found that they were still somewhat asleep.

Still, the sight of an uninjured Cupa was more than enough comfort for me.

Taking in air for the first time in a while made me feel like I had fallen from a great height as my lungs burned. Yet still I couldn't move much, but I did feel the rise and fall of my chest around the same time Cupa raised herself from me. Through a violent muscle reaction, I sat up and nearly coughed my heart out at the moment her arms wrapped around my neck, with feeling returning to my reciprocating arms. Still somewhat dizzy from the whole experience and my shoulder still in considerable amounts of pain. Groaning slightly when Cupas head made contact with my chest, nearly knocking me over again.

My now restored eyes took in everything around me, like a well needed confirmation that everything was as it seemed.

3rd Person POV

''I...T-thought I lost y-ou...'' Cupa sobbed below him with the most elated yet still traumatic look possible. Likewise, James was more than thrilled to be alive and even more so that she was relatively unharmed. Pulling her closer and wiping the tears from her face as he confessed...

''I thought I was dead.'' before they buried themselves in each others arms. The horrific last few minutes seemingly disappearing from their minds for the moment as they focused on keeping the other within arms reach. The smaller of the two still sobbing if not slightly into the shoulder of the other, who blinked twice every few seconds to ensure him with 100% certainty that she was really here.

Shifting his grip on her as to release some pressure on his still injured shoulder, James noticed the empty potions bottle to his left. The faint taste of watermelon on his tongue combined with the sudden, almost surge of energy felt when he awoke now starting to make sense. A gentle smile edged the corner of his lips and an overwhelming feeling of clarity and comfort filled his chest before Cupa raised her head from his shoulder to follow his gaze.

''You s-aved my life!'' He said with a level of gratitude that spoke for itself when he pulled her as close as humanly possible. With a tearful Cupa practically in his lap.

''You saved mine first...'' she said, closing her eyes in contentment as what little sunlight that remained kissed her cheeks. Feeling her eyes become sore as she couldn't release any more tears. Reopening her eyes upon feeling her forehead press against his. Their respective heads of hair now matted down by the endless sheets of rain that at this point didn't seem to bother them. James own features carried a sense of happiness as his ocean blue eyes gazed at her emerald greens.

Those amazing green eyes that somehow, despite everything that had gotten in their way within the last few minutes, twinkled under the light as he offered a smile towards her. A great, sweet, affectionate smile that warmed Cupa more than anything ever could or would. She knew she could not blush any more than she already was, there was no need to.

The two turned towards the sky for a brief moment as if to thank whatever force it was that brought them together, be it supernatural or otherwise. In their heads, reliving the moments that brought them here. Their bodies wrapped around each other as they found themselves in a rather familiar position. With James on his knees in front of a crouched, rain soaked girl with a creeper hoodie. Only this time there was no arrow, no spider...no nothing.

''D-id you really mean everything you said?'' She whispered meekly, as they brought their heads back together, almost feeling embarrassed for asking it. At her core she knew James hadn't lied once since they'd met on a similar rainy day, but still. A little confirmation couldn't hurt right? Her question might as well been answered when his hand went for her cheek, giving her an almost mirrored look of her own.

''Every. Last. Word.'' His voice was as soft as the lips they came from. Feeling her take in a short, joy filled breath that filled her stomach with butterflies.

Arms wrapped around his neck and her waist respectively holding their soaked bodies against one another. One of his hands traveling up her arm to take her hand. Glancing down to her bandaged ankle which was now soaked beyond belief. Yet despite the small trickle of blood that bathed into the wrap, there was no sign of pain in Cupas eyes. Not anymore...

Their faces were only mere centimeters away as the boy said tenderly and ever so sincerely...''I love you Cupa. That's all that matters to me."

Cupas smile grew even greater as she allowed the affectionate and endearing words fill her ears and melt into her heart. Closing her eyes to block the incoming tears before looking back at the human boy and whispering between her joyful weeping: "I l-love you too, James." Merely saying such words made her heart flutter in joy. But her heart began to flutter even more as they both closed their eyes and leaned in to lightly kiss each other on the lips, entwining them under the setting sun behind the rainy blinds.

Title of Chapter

Nothing Else Matters by Metallica