Hermione clutched at her head, the shock of the pain making her eyes well up. Through her tears she saw Sirius' wide eyes on her, stood stock still.

"I'm okay," She said quickly before pulling her hand away from her head, checking that she wasn't bleeding. She wasn't luckily though she knew Remus would have sensed it quicker than her if she was. Her hands were trembling as she went back to putting pressure on the back of her head. She thought it was finally over and Sirius had calmed down... but then Remus lost control of the wolf. Remus slammed Sirius back against the wall, his eyes amber and bright through the darkness. Hitting Remus had been something he could cope with but Hermione? No, hurting Hermione had crossed a line.

"Stop!" Hermione said quickly, stumbling to her feet, her eyesight going blurry for a second as all of the blood rushed to her head. Steadying herself on the end of the bed she looked up to see the two men squaring off against one another and she was honestly terrified. She scrambled for her wand, shakily pointing it at them.

"Stop it! Both of you!"

"Leave right now before I fucking kill you," Remus growled. Sirius' jaw was tight as he stared back at him defiantly. A tense couple of seconds passed before Sirius backed down, leaving the room without another word.

Immediately Remus went to Hermione's side, cupping her face in his hands, fussing over her and trying to figure out where she was hurt.

"I'm okay Remus, I promise I'm okay," She said quickly, though the pain was still there.

"I'll kill the bastard-" He said it so viciously that it made Hermione step away from him, fear blossoming in her chest which she quickly tried to swallow down before he realised.

"Remus," She said his name as sternly as she could, "It was just an accident, he's not himself right now, you know he would never intentionally hurt me." She took his hands in hers, squeezing them gently. Remus studied her face before stepping away with a small sigh. He sat down on the edge of the bed, placing his head in his hands.

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't control the wolf," He grimaced. Hermione stood in front of him, running her hands through his hair, "He's not himself when he has an episode. I just… he hurt you… and I just saw red." He looked up at her and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, stepping closer so that she was between his legs. He hugged her to him, burying his head into her stomach and breathed deeply, trying to ground himself.

"It's okay," She spoke softly, stroking his hair.

"I haven't seen him lose it like this in months."

"I should go and check on him, he shouldn't be on his own right now," Hermione said softly but Remus looked up at her quickly and she immediately knew he was going to argue. "He needs one of us and I think it should probably be me right now after everything that just happened." She kissed him softly before placing her forehead against his. The metallic taste of blood met her, his lip still bleeding, "I'll be okay."

"Shout me if you need me, okay?"

"Okay," She chastely kissed him again.

Hermione found Sirius in the living room, sat in the dark, a bottle of whiskey clutched tightly in his hand. He was staring into space when she edged into the room, not wanting to startle him but not wanting to run in all guns blazing either. He just stared ahead though as if he hadn't even seen her. She knelt tentatively at the end of the futon.

"Sirius?" She said softly but he didn't move, his eyes staring straight ahead, past her at the television screen. She was starting to wonder if he was there at all but then he took a shaky swig of whiskey before looking down.

"I'm sorry," he spoke numbly, threading his hand through his hair, balling his hands into fists and pulling at it.

"Are you okay?".

"Go back to Remus," He sniffed hard, his voice cold.

"If you honestly want me to leave you alone I will, but please know that I do want to stay. I want to be with you right now."

"I don't deserve you," He muttered and Hermione crawled towards him on the futon, placing her hand on his knee, "after everything that just happened you shouldn't even want to be near me. I fucking hurt you."

"It was an accident and I'm fine," She said softly, "look at me and see for yourself Sirius." He slowly raised his head, pulling his hand from his hair that was dishevelled and matted from where he had been pulling at it. She could just make out his eyes in the darkness as he looked at her, glossy from tears.

"See," she gave him a small smile, "I'm fine."

"I'm sorry you're trapped in this house with me, I'm a fucking pyscho-"

"You've been through a lot," she scooted closer to him, hugging his knees. She pushed his hair out of his face so that she could see him properly, stroking her thumb across his cheek gently, "I know that, Remus knows that."

"You shouldn't have to deal with it."

"None of us can be blamed for the demons that continue to haunt us, all we can do is be there for each other." Sirius looked at her blankly before squeezing his eyes shut tightly.

"I don't deserve you at all," he sniffed.

"Well tough, you've got me," She smiled softly and he breathed out a small laugh, looking at her, tears falling. He breathed in shakily before leaning into her hand and closing his eyes.

"I'm so sorry for everything Hermione."

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

"You're trapped in this house because of my family. I couldn't even control myself around you, I fucked everything up and I still can't even push you away now when I've physically hurt you," He pulled away from her touch and took another swig of whiskey, "I didn't think any of this would happen. Hell I didn't know what to think at all when I first saw you, let alone what to think when I realised who exactly you were."

"Sirius," She sighed, "Do you care about me?"

"Yes," He groaned as he said it, squeezing his eyes shut, "Too fucking much."

"Then why does any of that matter? We've had a good thing going, let's just focus on that."

"And when you inevitably leave? Remus will leave me too, he's only here for you-"

"That isn't true."

"It is," Sirius banged his head back against the wall, "and I don't think I can handle it when it happens. Honestly I don't blame him either, after the shit I just blamed him for. I've fucked everything up, it's fine, I know I have, I always do. I just," He inhaled sharply, "can't fucking control myself." He closed his eyes tightly, "I wish more than anything that I could go back and change what happened. I wish I had just grabbed Harry and run. He needed us and both Remus and I abandoned him."

"You were framed Sirius, it's not as straightforward as that, we all know that." He looked at her and shook his head slightly.

"You and I both know that things could've happened differently Hermione if I just hadn't acted on impulse. As fucking always."

"And what if things had been different?" She asked and he looked at her numbly, "You can't assume that Harry would be the same person, you can't assume you wouldn't have been hunted down and had it all pinned on you anyway. You can't live your life thinking 'what if', it'll kill you." He didn't say anything, he just looked at her numbly before looking down, his hair dropping down over his face again. They sat in silence, Sirius' shaky breathing being the only sound that filled the room. She moved around to his side. Pushing his hair away from his face she held her hand in his hair, stroking her thumb against his neck.

"I can't make everything better and I can't make the nightmares stop," Hermione said softly, "but Remus and I are both here for you Sirius and we will try and help you in anyway that we can but we really need you to help in pulling yourself out of this. I know you can, I know how strong you are."

"Hermione," his voice was so broken as he lifted his head, looking at her through the darkness, "I don't deserve you, I don't deserve either of you. Not after…" He inhaled and exhaled shakily, "not after everything that has happened."

"Sirius-"

"I know, I know," he sighed, taking her hand from his hair and clasping in his, "Sometimes I just feel like I've had enough, like you'd all be better off without me. I feel like I can't cope anymore." He avoided Hermione's eyes, instead focusing on their hands, his voice so uncharacteristically small. "Harry keeps me going but he has so much of James and Lily in him that even seeing him can be hard. You being here has helped but even that is only temporary. You're going to go home and then my days are numbered anyway. I'm a dead man walking."

"Sirius," her voice cracked as she struggled to keep it together and he finally met her eyes. Sniffing hard he let go of her hand and wiped roughly at his eyes.

"I guess I should be at peace with it; as long as Harry is okay, that's what matters."

"No, no that's not right," Hermione frowned in frustration, "you have so much more to live for than just Harry."

"Really?" Sirius tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice, "I can't leave this house, this house that I despise every inch of. I can't even go out into the garden just in case someone sees me. I'm wanted for a crime I didn't commit. I have you and Remus but that isn't going to last." Hermione stayed silent; she couldn't argue any of what he was saying and it was inevitable that she would be going home sooner or later, that much was obvious from what Dumbledore and Snape had been doing with her memories. It tugged at her heart painfully to think of that though.

"I've just made everything so damn complicated," he carried on with a small sigh, "I shouldn't have started whatever this is. I shouldn't have. If anyone knew… Merlin, they'd crucify me. Can you imagine Molly's face."

"We're not doing anything wrong," Hermione said softly, "We're all adults and frankly it's nothing to do with Molly or any of the others anyway."

"I guess."

"It's not worth wasting your time thinking about all of that," She said softly, "it's our business what we do and that's that." He took another swig of whiskey, letting the bottle hang limply from his fingers. Hermione watched it for a second before taking it from him. She took a swig of it herself before looking at Sirius.

"How about we put this down and I can make us a hot drink instead?" Sirius looked at her and breathed out a tired laugh, bowing his head slightly before looking at her and nodding.

"Okay."

"Okay I won't be long." She kissed his forehead tenderly before getting up, whiskey bottle in hand.

Opening the living room door Hermione almost leapt out of her skin; Remus was sitting on the floor in the dark, opposite the living room door.

"Merlin, Remus," She placed her hand on her heart, trying to calm it down.

"Sorry," He whispered, pulling himself up, "I just needed to know you were both okay." He went to step away but Hermione caught his hand.

"Go and speak to him, I think he could do with knowing you don't hate him." He studied her face for a second, torn on whether that was actually a good idea or not before finally he nodded.

She watched him enter the living room before heading into the kitchen with a small sigh. The cold bit at her bare feet as she walked across the stone kitchen floor, going onto tiptoes to try and escape it. Placing the whiskey on the side she set about heating up some milk on the stove, making the three of them hot chocolates. Wanting to give them both time to talk, she took her time, making the drinks without magic. It felt like such an age since the three of them had been in there having dinner together, Sirius laughing and joking. What a long night it had been and it was only 3am.

When finally she couldn't wait any longer, she picked up the three mugs and headed for the living room. Remus and Sirius sat on the futon side by side, without as much as an inch between them and Hermione couldn't help but feel a sense of relief flood through her.

"That smells amazing," Remus said as soon as she stepped around the doorway.

"Thought it might be a bit more comforting than water," She smiled, handing them their mugs before climbing over them and sitting to Sirius' right. Remus had relit the little bulbs that were bobbing around the room still from earlier that evening and they sat there together, the three of them in silence, huddled together as they drank their hot chocolates.

Once everyone was full of hot chocolate they curled up on the futon together, Sirius safely between Remus and Hermione. He was so quiet and it scared Hermione.

"How are you doing? "She whispered finally when she couldn't stop her thoughts. She pressed a kiss to his shoulder, her arm slung over his hip. For a second she didn't think he was going to reply but then he exhaled shakily.

"I really don't want to die," Sirius said and it took a second for the words to register with Hermione and Remus. Hermione tensed at his words whilst Remus turned towards him, facing him in the darkness. She had seen the many moods of Sirius over the years, and had even witnessed his extreme highs and lows over the past few months but this was a new low that she hadn't seen yet; this was rock bottom and she couldn't help but feel like it was her fault. She should have told him from the beginning how soon his death would be, he shouldn't have had to find out from Snape of all people.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you," Remus whispered turning and pressing his lips against Sirius' forehead. Sirius buried his face into the crook of Remus' neck. He felt safe like this, Remus holding him tightly whilst Hermione wrapped herself around him from behind. "I've lost James, I'm not losing you too." Hermione stroked her thumb against Sirius' skin, holding him tightly.

Not knowing what to say, Hermione placed another kiss against Sirius' shoulder which prompted him to turn to face her. He kissed her softer than he ever had before. It was filled with a vulnerability that she hadn't experienced with him before and it was filled with so much more than just passion and it made Hermione's stomach clench. When they parted he turned back to Remus, hesitating before stroking his thumb against the stubble on Remus' jaw. Sirius then leant forward and placed a small kiss on the corner of Remus' mouth as well, ultimately asking for permission. When Remus sought his mouth and kissed him properly, he knew it was granted. Sirius sighed as they pulled apart, tucking his head back into Remus' shoulder.

"Is this okay?" Remus asked tentatively.

"I should be asking you that," Sirius breathed.

"Sirius-"

"You know I'm okay with this Remus, I've always been okay with it," Sirius mumbled humourlessly and Hermione tightened her hold on him, suddenly feeling that there was something more to this that she didn't know about.

"Me too," Remus said softly and Sirius nodded his head slightly before the three of them fell silent again.

The three of them were exhausted the next morning. Remus still had to meet with Moody though despite everything that had happened so he was up at the crack of dawn. He quietly slipped out of the room and got ready whilst Hermione and Sirius lay curled together, fast asleep. He was pulling his coat on when Hermione stirred. She blinked at him sleepily, watching him move around the front room before calling out to him.

"Remus?" Her quiet sleepy voice stopped him in his tracks, "Where are you going?" She blinked up at him in confusion, it was the middle of the night wasn't it?

"I've got to meet with Moody," He said softly, dropping down to kneel next to her.

"Maybe you shouldn't go, aren't you tired?" She pushed herself up slightly, rubbing her eyes tiredly before cupping his face in her hand, studying his tired eyes.

"I'm used to being tired around this time of the month anyway," He shrugged with a small smile, "I'll be okay, I'll be back later I promise."

"Okay," She said softly, smiling contently as he leant down and kissed her.

"Go back to sleep," he gave her a small smile, "and make sure he's okay later, yeah?"

"Okay." Hermione curled back into Sirius, not being able to stay awake long enough to hear the rush of the floo as Remus left.

It was a couple of hours later that Sirius woke up. His brain was in overdrive as he thought about Hermione, Remus, their situation and his limited future. He wondered if he should start smoking again, maybe that hit of nicotine would be a good way to distract his mind from everything that was going on. Or maybe a drink of something nice and strong would help clear his mind for a while. He studied Hermione's face as she slept; how innocent she looked laying there, her hair a tangled halo around her head. She really was something else.

When Hermione awoke again it was with a jolt, Sirius' movements having awoken her as he rejoined her beneath the duvet.

"Sorry kitten," he said softly.

"S'okay," she mumbled sleepily. Sirius lay back down so that he was facing her, smiling at the fact that she was struggling to keep her eyes open.

"What time is it?" She yawned before rubbing her eyes in an attempt to wake herself up a little bit.

"Around 11."

"How are you feeling?" She asked. Sirius closed his eyes briefly as she pushed his hair away from his face.

"I'm okay."

"You can tell me the truth if you want to," she said softly and Sirius felt a rush in his chest. There was a moment's hesitation before Sirius met her eyes again.

"I've been better," He admitted, "I feel low." I don't really know what I'm going to do without you here.

"Is there anything I can do to help."

Stay?

"Just being here is enough," he said softly and he drank in the small smile that played on her lips. He knew their time together was coming to an end now. He knew Dumbledore had a plan and if Sirius was right then this time next week his Hermione would be gone and his life would be against the clock. They fell silent as Hermione shut her eyes again and Sirius thought she had fallen back to sleep when she suddenly piped up again.

"You and Remus, have you done this before?" Hermione asked softly, her eyes blinking open briefly before closing again, "I won't be mad if you have, I'm just curious."

"I'm not sure what you mean Hermione," Sirius admitted.

"Sharing someone. Both of you sleeping with them. You know, this," she gestured between them, Sirius' stomach clenched.

"No, not really."

"Not really?"

"I mean there were times when we were around your age, before everything really kicked off with the war - we'd go out with James and Lily and we'd end up with a third person between us. They were just one-night stands though. It never meant anything. Remus always regretted it the next day, he just used to refuse to talk to me about it, he always acted like nothing had happened."

"That bothered you?"

"Yeah," Sirius breathed, it had always been something he had taken so personally when they were younger. It was something he and Remus had never talked about since but it was definitely something that Sirius had thought about. "I guess he meant a lot to me and it hurt that he would pretend it hadn't happened."

"And now?"

"He'll always mean a lot to me," Sirius shrugged slightly, "We fight like cat and dog sometimes but he's the one that knows me better than anyone else." He uttered and Hermione quietly studied his face in response. He knew Remus would leave him too when she left. Because no matter what Remus said to him now, he knew he would never stick around once Hermione had gone, he never did stick around. But, if he didn't want to spiral, Sirius knew he couldn't think about that, he just couldn't.

"I'd rather not think about this right now," he admitted quietly, taking a lock of Hermione's hair between his fingers and playing with it, focusing on that instead of the pitying look in her eyes; he couldn't cope with that look. Hermione whispered a small okay in response. He kissed her before resting his head back down against the pillow, closing his eyes, his body pressed tightly against hers. He would just focus on that, focus on the grounding feeling of her body against his, he wouldn't think about the future, he would think only about the 'now'.

"Sirius," Hermione whispered and he opened his eyes again to look at her. "I'm falling for you harder than I anticipated," She admitted and Sirius' chest tightened. She was watching him, waiting for his reaction. When this had begun it had been different, Hermione had arrived a beautiful woman who had been through a lot and he had been enamoured by her. Then everything progressed and she, Sirius and Remus had become something else; feelings had deepened and all three of them had been ignoring the obvious of how serious this was for weeks now.

"Same," he said simply.

"You're not just saying that right? You can tell me if I'm in too deep," Hermione forced a small laugh and Sirius just looked at her for a second before stroking his thumb over her cheek.

"I promise I'm not just saying that," he kissed her, his hand moving to her hair before trailing his kisses down to her chin, "You have no idea how much I want you to stay. If I had my way I would just stay in this bubble with you and Remus forever," He breathed before moving carefully so that he was above her. He kissed her neck, Hermione's breath hitching as she shifted beneath him, pressing her hips up against him.

"Just stay here with me," Sirius whispered, his words so damn appealing, shifting so that he was between her legs, meeting her hips. She didn't say anything but she didn't need to, both of them knew in reality that it would be impossible for her to stay there.

Author's Note: Sooo hi... I know it's been forever. I'm so sorry, this chapter was really tough to get out. I think now that I know where exactly I want this to go we're all good. I'm also rewriting The Attic in general (just tidying it up a bit) so that's been taking me a while to sift through too. Thank you to anyone that has stuck with me after all this time and hello to the new readers, you all mean the world to me.