Title: Holding On and Letting Go (1/2)

Author: LaueHime

Rating: PG.

Genre/pairing: Angst, Hurt/Comfort. Gen.

Characters: Mainly Barry Allen, Leonard Snart and Joe West, with glimpses of Caitlin Snow, Cisco Ramone, Harrison Wells, Zoom and Lisa Snart.

Word count: 4k+ for this part (9k+ total)

Warnings: Spoilers for season 2, up to the mid-season finale.

Summary: Post mid-season 2 finale and going slightly AU after that. It takes one of his friends getting hurt to break Barry down and it takes an unexpected frenemy to pick him back up.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Flash or intend to make any profit out of this.

A/N: Hey there! This is my first Flash story. I started watching the show a while back and became completely hooked. I didn't think it would take me so long to write this story, though. I haven't written in a long time, so I was a bit rusted I guess... Still, I hope this is enjoyable (if that's your kind of story, of course). I'd like to hear what you think, if you don't mind. I'd really appreciate it!

Also, this was meant to be after the mid-season finale… Before seeing it, I was hyped because I knew Captain Cold was supposed to be in it. But then, I gotta say I was a little disappointed by how quickly he was in and out of the episode. So I wanted to write more of him for my greatest pleasure!

Finally, this was meant to be a one-shot but it got a little out of hand… So I cut it in two because the whole thing is like 9k + words.

Thank you for stopping by and enjoy the first part of the story!

FLASH

His hair stood straight from his skin; goosebumps travelling their way up and down his arms like race cars. Even though he had created him, Harrison Wells had never gotten used to being around Zoom. The dark speedster's energy weighed on him in a way that made his knees feel numb; almost begging to give out their supportive hold.

He closed the door behind them and turned to his enemy. "Just promise me you'll keep her safe," he demanded gravely. His whole frame was hardened by fear.

A grunt came from the masked speedster. Zoom's abyssal stare scanned the hallway before turning back to Wells.

"As long as you're of use to me…"

His deep guttural tone did nothing to stop Harrison's stomach from dropping three stories from where it should stand. The pit that was left in its wake felt like nothing short of a black hole.

"Do what you have to do," Wells finally granted. He felt terrible for what was about to unfold, but Zoom had leverage. Powerful leverage it was, for he had kidnapped his daughter. Harrison wasn't ready to lose the most important person in his life. It still broke his heart to have to do this. After all, the Flash's team had grown on him, even if it had always been more of a mean to an end.

"You say that's gonna get me the Flash?" Zoom asked, as if validating that his plan would have the desired effect.

Wells sighed deeply and rubbed his forehead with the tips of his fingers.

"There is no doubt he'll come to you," he confirmed.

Zoom nodded before disappearing in a flash of sizzling lightning. Harrison watched him go with profound sorrow. He could see it with his eyes that Barry was nowhere near the other metahuman's speed. He didn't even know if the kid would ever be.

But as awful as it made him feel, he would still pick his daughter's life over the Flash's.

FLASH

Caitlin had gone out to get something to fill their stomachs with, leaving their local engineer to his musing. Indeed, Cisco was deep inside his creative mind trying to come up with new ideas for tracking down metahumans. As far as he knew, Zoom hadn't sent metas from Earth 2 since his own visit to their Earth. He remembered it clearly as that visit had almost cost them Barry's life.

Bearing that thought in mind, he'd racked his brain for days in hopes of preventing an encore to that memorable tragedy. He wouldn't be able to stand it if anything like that were to happen in a near future, especially if he could do something about it.

Only, Cisco was realistic rather than idealistic.

He was expecting a reckoning and working to be prepared for when it unfolded.

He just realized too late that he could not have foreseen how soon it would actually come to be.

When he felt the wave of particles in movement from behind him, a chuckle of surprise escaped his lips. Here he had thought Barry was spending the day with Patty.

For him to be back so soon sported a list of implications.

"Don't say it, I know. You missed me already!"

As he said it, Cisco turned around to face the entrance of the Cortex. He frowned when he didn't see anyone in the arch of the door.

He stood from his chair and made two steps forward.

Had he hallucinated? The feeling of a speedster coming in was nothing new to him. He could recognize it with his eyes closed.

Still, the only thing he faced was the echo of his voice, coming back to him from the silence.

"Barry?" he tried. His confusion thickened as his question went unanswered.

Cisco's frown deepened while he moved to turn back to his computer. His movement met resistance and he realized that he had just bumped into a speedster.

Only, it wasn't the one that he was expecting to see.

His breath caught in his throat when he saw the dark suit and the deep black eyes glaring down at him. Before Zoom even made a move, Cisco tensed to the point of feeling his heartbeat inside his ears. The vital muscle had gone into overdrive the moment Cisco's brain had registered the danger for what it was.

"You… no way… how?"

Cisco started walking backwards until he almost stumbled on his own feet.

Zoom looked him up and down, not moving from his spot.

"You shouldn't have tried to stop me. Now you must die."

The rale-like voice was everything but human. It seemed to suck the life out of Cisco. His geek side wondered if that was what meeting a Dementor felt like.

His legs buckled despite his best efforts and, as he tried to run, he landed with little grace. His heart beat seemingly fast enough to break through his ribcage.

Cisco felt the impending doom of death looming closer. Zoom hadn't yet moved, but he knew that he was done for when the speedster would.

It happened so fast; all Cisco was aware of was the feeling of overwhelming power-force surging towards him and the searing pain that followed.

When darkness came, he embraced it.

FLASH

Barry inhaled when Caitlin's broken voice had spoken words he wished he would have never had to hear. His legs sprang into action before his mind could even process the news.

He didn't feel the ground under his feet as he ran towards S.T.A.R. Labs.

He only exhaled once he reached the Cortex.

He still had his phone in his hand. Hanging up hadn't even sounded like a concept when all he heard was 'Cisco's critical'.

Barry's usually fast brain was slow to fathom the unbearable truth.

Still, when Cisco wasn't sitting where he was supposed to be, big grin and chiming greetings at the ready, Barry had to come to his senses.

He turned to the medical bay where Caitlin was. That's when he saw his friend and partner in crime lying helplessly through an array of medical equipment.

"Caitlin! What happened?"

The speed at which he joined her side would seem like teleportation if she didn't know any better. She knew he was panicking for she felt the same way.

Pushing the plunger of a syringe into the IV port, Caitlin finally allowed herself to look away from her patient and into her friend's direction.

"… I… I was out and when I got back…" she started sobbing as she recalled the moment she got off the elevator to reach the Cortex.

The composition that she had managed to maintain while trying to save Cisco's life was quickly withering away now that Barry had joined her.

It worsened as Barry reached out to pull her in for comfort. She buried her head into his chest and started crying.

"Shhh… I'm here now. You did good. Tell me what happened when you're ready."

His reassurances soothed her until she could breathe steadily enough to talk without her voice breaking from her crushing emotions.

She wiped her bloodshot eyes from the remaining vestiges of the previous waterworks and looked into Barry's. He could see that her hair was disheveled and that her clothes were stained with dried blood. She had also made an effort to wash her hands and forearms, but smears of blood had still dried on her skin.

Barry's eyes drifted to Cisco's unmoving form before they rushed back to Caitlin. She then realized that his eyes were filled with pain and fear.

"He was here, Barry. It was him. Zoom is the one who did this," she cringed as she had to convey the bad news.

She watched his face change and the way with which he took a step back. His muscles visibly rigidified and his eyes widened until they looked like they were twice their size. Their depth scared her.

They were silent for what felt like an eternity.

Caitlin was the one to break it.

"I saw him leave. I didn't understand until I found Cisco… I thought he was…"

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, her eyes burning with the desire to cry.

It had looked like that at first. It was probably Zoom's intention too.

Their friend was barely holding on when she found him. He was lucky she had gained undeniable experience in the past year, as Barry had frequently brought life or death situations in.

The dark speedster had almost killed two of the most important people in her life. She caught herself wondering how much more of this she could take.

"You kept him alive…" Barry finally replied, his eyes devoid of their usual spark.

She could tell that there was more to it than what he was letting on. She could feel a distance forming between them, even though they were still physically close. He was distraught, that much she could tell.

"He's not out of the woods yet, but he's holding his own."

Caitlin wasn't trying to sugarcoat it, but she did mean well when she spoke. Barry had visibly blanched and she found herself wanting to comfort him.

He nodded and sought the closest chair so that he could crash. She stayed close just in case.

When he buried his face into his hands, she started to worry.

"Barry, are you okay?"

She was glad for small mercies when he didn't flinch or pull away from her touch. He just looked completely broken.

She wasn't estranged to the feeling since the previous events made it easy for her to relate. She was tired of seeing her friends in pain.

He finally shook his head to her question.

"It's my fault…"

Tears welled up in his eyes. He searched for comfort in Caitlin's, but turned away when she gave it to him. It was unbearable as guilt made him feel like he didn't deserve the comfort.

"You didn't do this. Zoom did."

At least she was trying. But Barry wasn't seeing things the same way.

"But if I hadn't failed to stop him, none of this would've happened." The conviction he bore when he said it was disarming.

"You didn't fail! Zoom nearly killed you!" She waved in disbelief and her face spoke her disapproval. The more she tried to convey it with her body, the more his became stable; defeated.

"I don't see the difference. I wasn't fast enough to stop him and now Cisco might die because of that."

His eyes found their refuge on the floor, under the bed his friend was lying on. He was afraid to look up.

From the way he saw it, he might as well have been the one to hurt Cisco.

He missed the way Caitlin crossed her arms to shield herself, or the way she pursed her lips when she recognized the guilt-party her friend was prone to.

She finally put her hand on his shoulder and put her face in his line of vision in order to get his attention. The result was beyond what she expected when he jumped at the contact.

His eyes landed on her.

"I'll do everything in my power to keep that from happening. In the meantime, beating yourself up won't do anything to help Cisco."

Barry blinked at her.

He opened his mouth to say something but closed it before any words could find their way out. His eyes traveled to hers, to his hands and to the floor on the right while he remained silent.

"Then I gotta get faster," he suddenly announced before bouncing out of his chair.

He went up to Cisco's side and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Man, you gotta beat this, okay? I'm gonna make this right."

Caitlin watched the scene from behind. Cisco remained motionless as Barry stood there for some time. Then, he turned on his feels and started walking back to the main division of the Cortex. His steps held some form of assurance with a hint of boldness.

Caitlin could tell Barry had some unspoken resolve he was going to get to.

"Please, just be careful," she asked quietly, knowing how trying to stop him would not make a difference.

"You call me if anything changes," he replied while pretty much ignoring her plea and concern for his well-being.

"I'll be right here."

He nodded in her direction before disappearing in a flash, his red suit gone from its storing space.

Caitlin sighed sadly when she realized Barry had left his com behind.

He wanted to be on his own.

She didn't know how that would bode for him and prayed that she wouldn't find out that he had been killed on the field.

FLASH

Joe West was sitting at his desk at the CCPD precinct, filling up reports about the last criminal he arrested. The office was crowded and buzzing with activity.

Joe rubbed his forehead to wipe off the fatigue that had been building up for two days. Ever since he had heard about what had happened at S.T.A.R. Labs, he'd been on constant lookout for danger.

More importantly, it was Barry's reaction that affected him the most. His kid was all but fine. Cisco was still fighting for his life but he was alive. Still, Barry acted as if his friend had died.

At least, that was how it looked like from the outside since his reaction reminded Joe of those long and difficult months after Ronnie had died saving the city.

He knew Barry. He knew the kid had a penchant towards self-loathing whenever something happened for which he felt responsible.

It didn't make it any easier to watch him self-destruct.

Joe was brought out of his thoughts when a red blur burst into the office. It was gone as soon as it came. When he turned his eyes back to his desk, he came face to face with a gruff looking man. The guy was sitting in the chair across from his, handcuffed and looking just as surprised as Joe was to find him there.

"Well. It seems like we caught you at last," he remarked while recognizing the man.

The latter grunted and sunk into the chair. There was no way out of this for him.

Joe took a deep breath and pushed his current report to the side in order to convict the criminal.

As soon as the procedure was over and the man handed over to the right authorities, Joe slipped out of the office and pulled out his cell.

He had to have a chat with the kid he considered his own.

He thought Barry wouldn't pick up until he heard the kid's strained voice on the phone.

"Hey, Bar. You were in and out so fast, we didn't get the chance to say hi," Joe spoke sadly. He knew the gist. Barry didn't really want to talk.

It didn't mean that he wasn't going to try.

"Well I've been kinda busy," Barry replied over the phone. Joe wished that he could see him so that he could gauge the kid's state by the way he looked.

He knew the drill. He just wished that Barry wouldn't be too hard to reach this time around.

"I can see that. That's the fourth criminal you've brought in in two days. Are you planning on clearing the APB board by the end of the week?"

He let out a weak smile because he knew his attempt at joking would most likely be fruitless. Barry would be able to take it seriously.

"I'm doing my job. Captain Singh keeps saying that we're behind on our schedule since Zoom's last attack. I'm just trying to pick up the slack."

Joe wasn't born yesterday, though. He knew Barry wasn't doing this to please their captain.

"Look, Barry. I know how you feel about what Zoom did to Cisco, but that's not on you! Wearing yourself out won't do much for anyone."

Barry's impatience became perceptible, even with the distance separating them.

He'd heard the speech plenty of times and he wished people would just understand and let him do what he felt that he needed to do.

"I need to up my game, Joe. And staying put doesn't feel like I'm doing that. I can't just sit around and wait for Zoom to hurt the people I care about."

Joe's heart pinched in his chest.

"I know. I hear ya'. Believe me, I do. But Bar, when was the last time you slept?"

That felt like a rhetorical question.

"I won't be able to rest until I know the people I love are safe."

Leave it to Barry to put everyone else's well-being before his.

"Listen. I don't mean it in a bad way, but don't you think it's time you start trusting us? You don't have to protect everyone, Barry. We can take care of ourselves."

Barry took an audible breath.

"You've seen what he can do, Joe! It's not some low-class criminal we're talking about here! It's Zoom! Nobody's ever been able to stop him. As long as he's out there, none of us are safe!" Barry exclaimed. He had a hard time grasping the fact that Joe couldn't see that.

"I know he's bad news. I just think it's all the more reasons for you not to go after him alone. I know you want to, but we're going to figure something out together and then we'll take him down. Together."

Joe was about as close as it got to pleading. Zoom had almost killed his kid once. There was nothing to assure him that he wouldn't do it again.

"For that, I still have to get faster. Plus, it helps me get my head straight. I feel like this is what I need to do right now. It's all I can do. So I'm gonna get back to it," Barry announced, implying that he was about to end the conversation.

Joe could feel the incoming dial tone and sighed in resignation. He knew that he would not be winning this one over his stubborn kid.

"Just don't get yourself into trouble..."

"Watch out for yourself, Joe. I don't know what I would do if something happened…" Barry couldn't finish his sentence.

Joe had always been a father to him. He couldn't imagine a world without his father figure in it.

"That goes for you too, kid. Take care of yourself for me," Joe replied with an emotional smile.

He felt the same way about the kid he'd adopted all these years ago and raised like his own. If anything were to happen to the kid… there was no telling what effect it would have on him.

FLASH

As soon as Barry heard about the hostage situation, he ran towards the bank where a robbery had taken place. Fast as he was, he was entering the bank seconds after getting the call.

From the entrance he had taken, he couldn't see much of what was happening. Surely enough, there wasn't anyone in the perimeter he was approaching.

Wasting no time, he sped to the center of the building, where the action was most likely going to be taking place.

It didn't take any time for him to localize the first hostages.

The room was a complete mess. People were hiding all over the place. The floor was littered by discarded stacks of papers and lost bags and purses; obviously dropped and abandoned by their owners.

The door to the central vault was opened and he could only assume that whoever was responsible for this was currently inside the vault.

He could hear whispers, but nothing clear enough to identify the perpetrator. Actually, he was expecting more than one perp. To take on a bank, one had to be incredibly smart to get away with it or incredibly stupid to go it alone.

"Hey look, it's the Flash," he heard from his side.

He turned to meet hope in a man's eyes. The latter had to be mid-forties, probably a father, and seemed utterly relieved to see the crimson-clad hero. He was holding an older lady close by; probably trying to comfort and protect her.

Whispers grew louder as people started to recognize him.

He feared that the robbers would hear the chatter and that this would ruin his rescue plan.

Whatever he had been expecting though, the reality was something else entirely.

A man in a blue parka and wearing black goggles came out of the vault with a special kind of gun in his hands.

Barry sighed in disbelief as he recognized Leonard Snart, the villain Cisco had baptized as Captain Cold.

"Well, well. Took you long enough," Snart remarked with a satisfied grin.

"Snart. What the hell are you doing?" Barry snapped.

He wasn't in the mood for games.

Captain Cold toyed with his gun, the one that he had stolen from S.T.A.R. Labs.

"It's nice to see you too, Flash. I'm good, thank you for asking."

Barry rolled his eyes. He was already feeling irritated and he had just gotten there.

Meeting with Leonard Snart hadn't been part of his agenda. He'd actually been busy enough to forget about the guy and, for a while, that had felt liberating.

"What's this all about?" Barry finally asked after working hard to regain his cool.

Snart chuckled and raised his arm until he rested his gun on his shoulder; taking a more comfortable stance for a chat.

"I heard you've been very active in the past couple of days. Many people I had to deal with have been taken care of and I hear that's all thanks to you…"

Snart's smirk widened. Barry could tell the guy was getting off on this.

On the other hand, he didn't share that amusement that seemed to radiate from the thief.

"So? What's your point?" Barry's impatience was starting to show again. He tried to dismiss the fact that this had happened a lot in the past few days.

Captain Cold's contempt turned into petulance as he plastered an overdone pout to his face.

"You've been visiting the likes of me, but you haven't dropped by for coffee. I must say I do take it personally. I thought we were starting to get along." Snart chewed on his bottom lip as he adopted an accusatory look, however weak it came out.

Barry rolled his eyes, too baffled to dignify his nemesis' statement with a response.

Unaware, Cold went on with his tirade.

"So I wondered what I would have to do to get the Flash's attention. Welcome to the party, Scarlet!"

Snart opened his arms in a wide motion to show Barry what he had done only to get him to pay him a visit.

Barry was seriously debating against using violence.

Snart was losing his precious training time for his personal amusement. The speedster was obviously far from pleased.

"You put all these people in danger to get to me? What, you couldn't pick up the phone like everybody else?!" Barry spat, clearly reaching the end of his short-temper.

Snart grimaced childishly and shrugged.

"What can I say? Social interactions aren't my strong suit," Snart admitted, his lips turning back to his former smirk.

"Well, that is certainly downplaying it, Lenny," a female voice joined their conversation.

Barry followed the direction the voice came from and his eyes met Lisa's, Snart's sister. She was also carrying the gun she had Cisco build for her except but, unlike Cold, she didn't waver it around like some kind of fancy toy.

"Hello, Flash," she added when she spotted Barry.

She stopped walking forward when she stood alongside her brother. Snart's gaze went to the floor, but Barry didn't miss the lopsided grin that lit his face. These two really were a pair.

"What do you want from me?" Barry asked, regaining Snart's attention and eyes on him.

It was Lisa's turn to flash a smile before turning to her brother.

Barry could only assume that she'd been dragged into this. The one who really had plans for him was Cold.

"Chill out, Scarlet. I'm here to talk."

Barry had a hard time deciphering his interlocutor's intentions.

He could only count on the fact that nobody had been hurt yet to foresee no major damage. Still, nothing was certain when dealing with Captain Cold.

It could very well be a show for him.

"What's in it for me?" Barry asked, when he realized he was running low on clues to further deduce the motives of their impromptu meeting.

A sliver of madness shone into Snart's eyes. It fit the crooked smirk he bore next.

Barry could tell that he was in for an inconvenient afternoon.

"You can walk out of here with a clear conscience or you can bear the guilt of not being able to save so many lives. Your choice," Snart offered.

FLASH

Here was part one. Does this deserve a part two? You tell me! I'm waiting to hear your thoughts. Thanks for reading!