Here's the 2nd chapter, and I assure you, this is better than the 1st one. Like. This is idk.. lighter? Idk, but ye this where most of my effort went, so I really hope you enjoy it =)
(.x.)
Chapter II
And That's How I Kissed Her
- Jun 26th -
The library has been undergoing renovations for two days (means I haven't seen here since then) Somehow I feel restless. It's not as worse as the time she got sick, but still frustrating enough to make me feel empty— as if something important is missing from my routine.
So, after school, as I'm heaving this big, heavy sigh, I spot her. She's there, lying down on the slope of the school football field. The place is desolated (all the clubs are on break due to the incoming exam) I notice how defenseless she looks, as she has placed one hand underneath her head and the other on one of her sides- her stomach slightly exposed. She's smiling faintly, as if pleased by the cool breeze.
Being the opportunist I am, I trudge along the trail, reach her and lay down next to her- making as less noise as possible.
"The wind sure is nice." I say softly.
She's startled.
"Oh— Gray— You surprised me! When did you get here?" She says hurriedly, arching her neck.
"I saw you and thought, maybe I should join you. Or do you mind?" I gesture.
"Not at all! Feel free." She smiles.
"Thanks." I grin at her.
Somehow I've been smiling a lot around her lately. Maybe it's because of her words from the other day.
"It's been a while since we last saw each other..." She whispers.
I feel my heart leaping.
"Is it? Did you... miss me?" I say with my breath at my hand.
"..."
She doesn't reply.
Seconds pass.
Minutes go by.
I'm starting to sweat now as a plethora of expectations and ideals clash in my mind. When it becomes too much to take, I turn up to look at her.
She's sleeping soundly.
I feel like an idiot.
oh well.
"This is a memory, too," I murmur.
The next moment I know, she's no longer next to me, and I turn gloomy at the sight of spot where she laid a while ago— orange rays of the setting sun falling on it.
"I guess you can say, we slept together..."
A muffled chuckle is automatically let out at my poor (but intended) choice of words.
- Jun 29th -
My face turns sore, as I enter in the library. She's not in her seat.
"Maybe she's sick again..."
And then I recall the announcement from yesterday: something about the library staff being on leave till the exams are over.
"I was sleepy back then... Damn."
Now that I think, I do feel like someone shook me by my shoulder (albeit lightly) but I shook it off, too sleepy to care. And then I shudder.
"It must have been her..." I mumble, pressing my knuckles against my lips.
The regret.
"Ah. Maybe she'll come study in the library," I reflect, and cling to the thought.
So I wait.
The clock ticks.
And ticks.
But she doesn't come.
And I blame myself more, because maybe she really did have something to tell me yesterday. It must have been something important. I could totally imagine the look on her face, all sad and troubled...
"Argh- Why did I have to doze in the library? Why did I pull an all-nighter on some silly game? Damn me!" I curse myself.
"Maybe tomorrow... she'll come." I reassure, clinging on one last hope.
"Guess all I can do is wait, huh."
- July 3-
Just as I feared, she didn't come yesterday, and today, too. I don't have any way to keep in touch with her, I never asked for her phone number. Worse of all, our exam time periods are different -with her starting two hours prior to mine- Even if I try to come earlier and (if luck's on my side) meet her through some sheer miracle, what after that? It'd be awkward, because of the already existing mishap between us. Better wait till the promised day to keep my chances up (even if it's hard to endure. But fate shines on those who wait patiently— I tell myself that)
Besides, my exam have started, so I've a lot on my plate. As a result, I'm not too depressed; at least that's why I show on my exterior.
My friends— the idiots tell me that I'm love sick, but I yell at them. I am conscious of it, but admitting it is a little... not my style.
Besides, it makes me seem clingy, and I fear a certain fire-idiot will call me lame (which I'm not for your kind information, he is) Above all, I'd rather avoid the trouble.
Avoid it while I still can.
- July 5 -
It's getting worse. My regret. My feelings. My expectations.
Regret because I didn't listen to her last time I saw her.
Feelings because, well, they are self-explanatory. I'm an idiot in heat, yeah.
Expectations because we made a promise (and I arrogantly believe that she has feelings for me.)
I fear that she might change her feelings because I didn't hear her out. I know, this isn't a shojo manga, or a soap romcom, but the persisting thought irks me throughout the day.
"I just hope I see her soon..."
I sigh, and begin to tap my pencil repeatedly on my notes.
- July 7-
Finally. Last day of exams: the day every student dreams for. I selfishly believe not everyone has been going through what I do. As a result my happiness (on being released from what seemed like life-in-jail) is no ordinary either.
At this stage, I don't care about results. I mean, I'm sure I did well, but nah.
My heart palpitates as I think about the next day, I amble on the path leading to school gate. Without knowing, I'm grinning; or so I get told by Natsu as he collides into me (once again ) At this stage, I'm beginning to think he does it on purpose— that bastard.
"Say, ice princess-"
"Call me by name or I won't bother." I say, rubbing my forehead.
"Fine, " He snorts, "Gray..."
"That actually feels gross but oh well." I observe that he felt the same, or so I notice from his face which has turned blue with disgust.
"You've been pretty gloomy lately, but boy, do you look happy today..." He whistles, hands behind his head.
Just who was trying to fool if even it- I mean- Natsu read me? I tremble.
"Not really..."
"Hmmm, well, I don't care. Aw man, I'm looking forward to these holidays!" He hums, pacing up.
Wait. Did I just hear the word... holidays?
"What did ya say, flamebrain?"
"Hah, calling me that, you wanna fight or what?" He exlaims, readying his fists.
"Tell me what you meant by holidays first!"
"Tch, what's with you..." He pouts, as if he was looking forward to the brawl. How gross.
"We are getting four holidays till we get our results, idiot! You seriously don't know nothing." He narrows his eyes. "Well then, I'm off."
And then he leaves, while I die and turn into dust.
Great. More hours to count.
- July 9 -
It's only the second of my holidays, and I feel so done with everything. It's frustrating, and its nerve-wrecking. What is this- some kind of cliche phone romance novel? Why must I suffer?
Just when I finish eating my third cup of icecream, my mobile phone rings.
It's Erza, and she has invited- cough- threatened me to hang out with her and the other.
I can't sweat enough.
Well, this might be good, too.
"Maybe she's being considerate of me. "
My eyes soften at the thought, but I shook it off.
Oh how wrong I was.
.
"I'm back..." I say tiredly as I drag my feet in. My mom looks worried, and her worries are legit, because I look too worn out to stand.
"Hang out? More like, rob your friend in the name of kindness..." I mumble, plopping on my bed. Oh how soft it felt... for once.
Throughout the day, I was dragged along for shopping, and karaoke, and whatnot. Honestly, I wouldn't have minded so much, if others actually bothered paying even a damned cent's worth of money. Instead, I was force to pay for every. freaking. thing.
Lunch? Let Gray buy it. Drinks? Gray's the man. Bags? Let Gray carry them.
When asked why, I get the answer that apparently, they bothered to do this only for my gloomy self's sake, because otherwise their oh-so-busy schedules might get hijacked.
Great.
It's strange but I actually do feel better now. Maybe, I'm just too tired to care about anything. I just want to sleep. Maybe this is what they were aiming for? They definitely didn't do in the nicest way possible, though.
"Guess, they are just not honest..."
I say quietly, burying my head into the pillow.
"Like I was hiding stuff from them, about me being lovesick and all..."
At this thought, I turn stiff, but soon soften, smiling faintly. Resting my eyes, I take deep breathes. I definitely feel much lighter now.
"Honestly, what idiots."
- July 11-
The last two days of my holidays passed with relative ease. My anticipation was still there, but the thought that "my friends are worried for me" gave me an unknown strength. For that, I feel grateful (but gross. I'm sarcastic.)
What I'm feeling right now, though, is on whole another level. It's the much-awaited last day of our school term- oh how long I've waited for it. Frankly, I feel full of excitement, and energy, and delight and just about every positive emotion I know about.
"Finally... I'll see her..."
My chest feels heavy all of a sudden.
Crap. I am probably gonna die today.
I say and begin to measure the beats of my heart.
.
In the class, we barely study- other than discussing our course for next term, all we do is joke around and enjoy. It's all supposed to be fun, yet I spent the entire day in agitation; rapidly tapping my feet, moving my neck around and spacing out. Once, Erza spots it me grinning absentmindedly and smiles playfully at me.
Another, Levy beams mischievously.
Awkward.
I turn red and feel like burying myself deep into the earth for showing such an uncool self to them. All I hear is, giggles in return.
.
As soon as the class finishes, I practically smash in all of my stationary and the books in the bag- desperate to make everything fit in. It's like everything has doubled in sizes.
Or maybe, it's just my feelings which have doubled. I cringe at that cheesy line, and feel my ears heat up.
I look around carefully, hoping no one is looking at me. I want to wait till everyone leaves the class. As everyone looks too excited to leave, it's the last day, after-all. I get restless.
One step forward and I already realize demonic stares on me. I prepare myself for the worst- only to be smiled a bunch at.
"Today's a big day, isn't it?" Levy chirps.
"I can sense my 'shipping senses' tingling!" Mira winks at me.
"Ohoho!" Cana does the drunk laugh.
"Good luck." Erza says thoughtfully.
"Take her in!" Gajeel remarks, only to get stared at by Levy and Erza- pretty much everyone.
Meanwhile, I just look dumbfounded. I look at Natsu, expecting him to say something, too; except he looks away.
The nerve!
"Awh... Well... Good luck..." He mumbles, rubbing his neck.
And I can't help but laugh heartily. It's too much to take. Everyone else surprised, too, at first; but join me in the laughter soon enough.
"Thanks... I guess."
I say after a while.
And then I look at the pinkette— the very personification of the word "awkward" He's making this weird face— I don't know if he's pouting or if he's angry, or just plain embarrassed.
I just chuckle at him, and just when I detect his anger meter rise ; I leave, laughing at his face.
Hah, feels great.
From my behind, I can feel everyone trying their best to hold down the pinkette, before he tries and claw at my face (not that I would let him)
Well, they owe me this much for the money I spent on them.
.
The moment I enter in the our sacred place (that is, the library) my heart begins to thump hard and fast. For some reason, I feel like if I don't slouch, it might leap out to my throat and emit out.
I look around desperately, searching for what I desired for so long— fearing that it might not be there today, too. An immeasurable amount of disappointment hits me when I don't find her in the chair; the very same place where I used to see her sit, everyday, an eternity ago. My heart aches, and I slump down my shoulder.
Just then, I hear a voice from behind.
"Gray..."
It's her.
I go crazy for a minute.
still the very same. Neatly combed blonde hair, an earbud stuck in her left ear, and the chocolate brown eyes; the very same eyes I've looked deep into so many times.
I arch my eyebrow as I look at her, sighing with an immense relief. And that's when I realized I am feeling a very weird emotion. I don't know how to explain it, but I feel... fluttery and itchy. It's like what I feel is on top of my tongue, but I can't interpret it very well. All I know that I love her- love her- love her. That's all I can think. It's the weirdest I've ever felt.
And then I see her shaking her head excitedly at me, and I lose it. I'm grinning wide, as I jog to her. My heart is about to burst, I've never felt this amount of happiness. It's like, everything is colors and sunshine, and I'm bathing in all of it.
"To hell with pride!" I remark in my head.
"It's been a long time!" I utter with an unexpected amount of energy. I don't care if it is out of character for me, it feels only natural to say it now. All I know is that I really missed her and her company -and her smiles- and just about everything.
"I know right?!"
There's much vigor in her voice, the same as me. I can sense a sort of longing in her eyes, this makes me gulp whatever's coming up my throat.
"I thought you wouldn't come today... haha..."
I already feel nervous.
"Oh, I had to hand over the library keys. You know, It's going to be summer break soon and all.."
"Mhmm."
"Besides..."
She looks away for a moment.
"Besides what?" I speak out my mind restlessly.
"N-nothing..."
My expectations reach their peak point.
I won't mind no matter what it is..."
At this, she just stares blankly at me.
I probably said something incredible again.
"Well, I thought you would be... here... so..." She mumbles.
"I-is that so..."
"Mm."
Crap.
"... I missed you, too."
And my cheeks burn. I look at her, and hers are the same, if not even redder. She's wetting her lips with short intervals, as she nods lightly.
Seriously, it's bad news for my heart.
"D-do you wanna talk outside...?" She suggests, rubbing the back of one hand with the other.
And I die a little.
"Sure..."
.
So, we take clumsy steps, trying to match each other's pace, but alas. We keep getting out of sync and it's just hard.
It looks like our feet are leading the way to the same place. Before we realize, we are standing at the very same pasture, the only place where we have had an outdoor memory.
"I guess, it only makes sense to come here." I state breathlessly and grin.
"Yeah, we slept together..."
She continues, voice dwindling, "Here..."
She's flustered, maybe she has realized that she has just uttered an improper innuendo.
The urge to hug her tightly gets stronger.
I decide to take the lead and suggest on sitting the very same patch of land, the one where there's a descend and the sunset is directly visible.
"Looks beautiful..." She says, and I search for the image of the sun in her orbs.
"It does..."
The timing is right, the mood is perfect, too. I need to ask her now. I need to know the answers to all my questions before the sun sinks into the far away horizon- before the chance slips by.
"Lucy... What did you want to say me on that day?"
She gives me a puzzled look.
"I mean, on the day we last met... I'm sorry I was sleepy— I had put an all-nighter..."
She lets out a titter, and takes off her earphone.
"Oh... It's okay!"
"I just wanted to say that I won't be coming for a while, because of exams..."
I awe at her.
".. That's it?"
"That's all."
She finishes, chortling.
All along, I searched for an answer, only to listen something so obvious. I feel dumb.
"Are you alright?"
She says with concern. I just nod it off.
There's still one more thing I need to ask her— more like, she needs to tell me. It's the promise we made.
"Lucy..."
"Hmm?" She says amusedly.
An inner brawl, as I whether I should say it not.
"You decided to throw away your pride, didn't you? Say it!" A voice echoes inside me and I feel courageous enough.
"The other day, you promised something... Can you tell me now...?"
A thousand emotions hidden behind a line. I wonder if she was able to even guess half of them.
But then I look at her and can't take my eyes off- What a face she was making. Beneath the remaining faint rays of the sunlight, she's there. Tucking her hair behind her ear as a mild breeze of air passes by, she parts her mouth; her cheeks hot-red and eyebrows knitted, she's blinking lovingly at me.
I die more and more. I'm so in love.
"I... I feel a connection between us."
She finally says it.
She's sweating.
I'm already drenched.
"M... Me, too..."
I reply.
I'm surprised, because the moment passed much sooner than all of my imaginations combined— I expected it to be more slow, and heavy except it felt just as quick and light. I did feel heavy before saying it, but as I said it, my body turned light just as soon. It's like a huge weight is finally off my back, and I couldn't be relieved enough.
"D... does that answer everything...?"
She stutters, and turns her back on me, this time putting of her earbuds in. Obviously, she's being conscious of me, and of her own words.
As if I can resist that. I threw away my pride, and I blame it on her.
I take a deep breath, and pretty much yell,
"Not yet!"
And, she just looks at me, pressing her lips tight, wondering just what's gotten into me.
"Can I... kiss you?"
"N-"
"Ah, just so you know, saying 'no' is not allowed..."
I say breathlessly. And then I widen my eyes at my own words, I have said something amazing again. I feel sadistic, and I've got no control over it.
"D-do whatever you want..."
She stutters, and ties her arms around her legs tightly.
And I simper at this, successfully regaining my desire to tease her (just like I did in the not so old days) Placing my one head on the inclined ground as I use it as a support to bring my face near her. I halt— our lips inches away.
She shuts her eyes tightly, and tightens her grip on her legs.
I can't, not when she's feeling so uncomfortable. But if I am that concerned about it, then why am I... grinning.
So I land a quick peck on her forehead, and back away; sticking my tongue out at her.
And that's when I see her break, she has started landing soft punches on my chest repeatedly.
"Idiotidiotidiot—" She chants.
I apologize to her (it takes more than just one attempt for her to let it go) She finally shows mercy on me.
And just as she does, and gives me this cute-as-hell vibrant smile, I feel a sudden desire to monopolize. My feelings have reached her, hers have reached me and I still can't believe. So I need a reason to believe.
"Sorry, I lied, after-all..."
So, I pull her in, grasp her back softly. As my dreams and reality mesh into one color, I abruptly land a quick peck on her lips. I back away, and look at her. It takes her a long while to comprehend this situation. The guilt hits me, but I'm too deep in to ask for forgiveness.
So I do what a real man would do in this sitation: I run away.
And that's the fastest I ever ran in my life.
.
"And kids, that's how me and your mother kissed for the first time. Romantic, huh?" I announce proudly to my twin daughter and son, having completely read the diary. They've persisted me long enough to read it to them, and I'm weak to their cute expressions, and all.
"So... so cool...!" They finally manage to retort, hands up in air.
"Ain't it—"
I pause, hearing footsteps.
"Like. I. said. Don't tell them such made-up stories!" My wife beams, nerve popped up as she kicks me in the chin. She calls it the "Lucy Kick" (and you don't want to underestimate its strength, trust me.)
"Ah babe, you still mad at me for that? All of it did happen when we were freshmen." I say straightforwardly to her, rubbing the spot which stinged.
"Shut up! Just like that, you stole my first kiss and..." She remarks.
I raise an eyebrow at this.
"And?"
"I wasn't even ready... Yet you..."
I sweat. Sure doesn't feel like we've been married for ten years. She's still adorable, and I'm an idiot.
"I'm sorry..."
She looks up to me, surprised at my so-called-honesty.
"To make up for it, I can kiss you right now." I say with a straight face.
"Wha—"
"Don't worry." I whisper, leaning in.
"You idiot... The kids are watching..." She mutters, pushing me away.
Slowly but surely, she's giving in. Nice.
"It'll be quick and nice."
"N...no..."
And that's when the inevitable happens.
"Ohhh, that's just like a shojo manga!" My daughter exclaims, stars in her eyes.
Just one sentence, one harmless sentence, and my wife turns hotblooded and fiery. Meanwhile, I prepare for the incoming storm in advance.
"Shut up, Emily!"
And then, we both sees tears forming in the eyes of the precious little girl, as she falls on the ground and begins to bawl her eyes out; hiccuping in between. And that's when Lucy realizes how harsh her words sounded. I facepalm.
"That woman- She should get it already who sensitive and easily depressed Emily is... Honestly, she worries too much for others, just like her mother."
Before any of us steps ahead, our son; Shadow, quickly rushes to his sister's side. His eyebrows are knitted as he tries his utmost best to calm down the younger sibling.
"He's totally opposite of what his name suggests: so kind and bright. A little aloof and introverted, but that's cute, too. He's my son and I'm proud of him!"
While I'm busy admiring my two precious little dorks, my wife does everything in the world to calm down Emily— not that any of it actually works. I snicker at the sight.
"Seriously, these daughter and mother are actually more alike than they think. Then again, I can totally imagine them fighting even after, say, 20 years or even 30 years..."
I chortle.
"I wonder how we would look at the age of fourty... I hope I still look cool and young." I sweatdrop at the thought.
Then, I look at the scene in front of me again, and burn it in my memory as I find myself stepping towards my family.
I squat on the floor, and begin to pat my daughter softly on the head. At this, she clings hard to my leg, hiccuping badly. Gradually, she begins to calm down. Slowly, she lets my leg go, still sniffing. My son shouts at me, saying how cool it is that I can calm down (unlike his mom) Lucy just pouts at this.
"Hey, now, don't sulk..."
"Hmph. She's only your daughter. I'm not jealous."
She says, crossing her arms, staring in a general direction.
And I prepare myself for another onslaught. Emily is sniffing hard again, as she cries out.
"M-mama, you idiot! Emily is both of yours yet you... yet you said all that! Emily hates mama now waha—"
And all hell breaks loose again. I spot my wife apologizing to her daughter over and over again, doing her utmost best.
"These two are unbelievable..."
Too tired to care, I begin to picture ourselves in our fifties again, and then I suddenly feel worries. How much will everything change? Will I still be in touch with my friends? Heck, will I be able to even walk without using some kind of support?
Horrifying.
I come back to reality, because something unusual has happened. Lucy has managed to stop Emily from crying for the first time ever since her birth. It was always me who did that, but just now, she did on her own. I'm surprised. And then I see her smile heartily, as she hugs the two of them tight. And I can't help but think of the past— the library, the coziness and us two engaged in a rather cliche high school romance. What great days...
In that instant, I have a grand revelation. So grand that I'm smiling to myself.
So I do what a father often does in these kind of situations; I gather my family together around, and hold them tight.
"For now, let's live our lives to the fullest in the present..." I say softly.
"Just like we did back then."
"And just like, we'll... from now on."
I spot my kids clapping with big, wide eyes, showering words of praise at me. I can't guess if they really got it, but oh well (they're still very dear to me) And then I look a bit higher— a very confused Lucy is staring right through my soul.
I let them go, wondering if I sounded awkward. And that she probably didn't get what I meant.
But then I notice her face softens. I awe at her, as she beams; this time initiating the family hug herself.
The four of us share a quiet laughter.
And I just think my feelings probably did reach her, after-all.
[The End]
Writer's Corner
I live... Okay, this was hard to write. You can probably guess, I put a lot of effort into it.. The dates were a pain to keep up with. Oh God.
I... just lemme say I had a lot of fun writing this, esp. the 2nd chapter AND esp. the family part: wish I could make that part longer somehow. hmmm. Emily and Shadow are very cute, I can totally imagine their faces. Btw they are both 8 years old. Emily is basically mini Lucy, she has twintails and brown eyes, just like her mom; except that she has a beauty mark on her right cheek. As for Shadow, his hair is grey (unlike Gray's more blue-shade) and he looks like his father.
Okay, lemme lay down now as I await for your kind reviews. I sure hope you send them!