x_beneath this skin_x

This is wrong, she thought, as she felt his hand edging between her quivering thighs, his moist breath trailing down the valley of her breasts. Her hands were cradling his face against her chest, letting him hear the resounding thumps of her heart, stubborn enough to beat for him. She began to feel the corner of her eyes pricking with assailing tears, and she inadvertently let out a small whimper.

Sasuke immediately propped himself up, searching her eyes for an answer. She saw him lift his hand to her face but hesitated until he completely removed himself off her, pulling up his trousers and hastily picking up the discarded polo on the floor, visibly convinced that his presence was no longer wanted.

Sakura reached out for his wrist. "I'm sorry," she choked, the beginning of a sob making her voice thick.

"You don't have to. But you could try to be more honest," Sasuke said flatly, not sparing her a glance.

"No, Sasuke-kun, I didn't – "

"We should stop this. It was wrong for me to agree to your offer. Wasn't fair."

Sakura shook her head frantically even though Sasuke couldn't see the desperate gesture.

"No. Please, I just – " Sakura insisted even though she still couldn't phrase her feelings and get it out there for him to take.

"You don't need to worry about the rent. I will no longer be asking for any compensation. Just stay here for as long as you like," she heard him let out a sigh, "until you find a reason to move out."

Sakura's eyes widened with an overwhelming pain, and she had to take in shaky breaths. Her chest was twisting into cruel knots, and she just wanted him to hold her again, feel his warm breath and gentle kiss against her skin, and go off the edge with him.

"You...want me to leave?" she asked, her voice almost collapsing on its own, her eyes staring blankly at the floor.

She was met with silence, and she didn't realize he had freed himself of her grip until he spoke again, now standing at the doorway, his hand on the knob, his back unforgivingly meeting her gaze.

"You're not obligated to stay here. You've paid off your debt."

Sakura could only let out a strangled sob as he finally walked out of the room. She clutched the bedsheet to her naked form, her mind racing with thoughts of him and flashes of tentative intimacy.

She finally cried into her hands, regret filling her as she thought about all those moments she had failed to make him realize that their relationship was no longer just about her compensating for his unwarranted kindness.

xxx

Her parents died from a car accident two years ago and with no relatives living nearby to support her, she had to take on as many jobs as she could in order to feed herself and pay for her apartment rent. She also had to stop schooling due to her situation even though there were only few months before graduation. But it seemed like there were only worst things in store for her. One day, she got home only to find out that a thief had broken into her small apartment, taking everything lootable. The jar containing her saved money that she was hiding deep into her closet was also taken away. Her creased clothes and the photo frame containing the picture of her parents were the only things that remained.

She finally got a stable part-time job at a coffee shop, and Sasuke was a regular customer, his office or rather his company, only a few blocks down the road. From the first moment she laid her eyes on him, she had known he was some unfriendly, stuck-up brat who could only think of other people lowly. She had avoided serving him because she didn't want to give him a perfunctory smile. She thought that he didn't deserve even a fake smile.

But then as fate would have it, the day before Christmas, the shop became short-staffed, with the employees having 'valid' excuses to not be there and help. Sakura volunteered to be the substitute for all those employees and do all the work and the services that the other employees had left unfulfilled just so the manager could raise her meager earnings even just for a day. And so despite the headache tormenting her and the soft grumble of her stomach, she dutifully attended to all the customers.

But while she was carrying the tray containing his cup of espresso and was just about to greet him with a "Thank you for waiting, Sir!" the pain in her head pounded so hard she staggered forward. The tray teetered off her weak hand until it crashed down on the floor, the hot coffee almost splattering on his polo sleeves had he not been able to get out of his seat as quickly as possible. She crumpled to the floor, eyes brimming with tears as she prepared herself to say sorry. But her vision swayed as she looked up at him and she felt her cheek suddenly pressed against the cold floor.

She woke up to the sound of a faint drone, and when she opened her eyes, she realized she was in a car.

"Feel better?"

Her head snapped to the side, her mouth opening in puzzled surprise as she registered the face of the very person she was trying to avoid. She sought for the words to say.

"You shouldn't be overworking yourself."

She could detect the concern in his voice, but his remark still didn't sit well with her.

"Well, excuse me for not being a prince like you who can eat three times a day, possibly even more, without having to overwork," she bitterly scoffed, feeling the yet another grumble of her stomach. She wanted nothing more than to get this over with, go to a convenience store and get herself a cup of ramen.

"Here. I bought you food," he simply offered.

Sakura's mouth watered at the sight of the takeout meal, and she almost grabbed it if not for her pride.

"You don't have to feed me," she said tersely, looking away.

"I'm not letting you die inside my car so eat up." He then pushed it further until she could no longer resist the delectable smell of sautéed meat.

She then took it from him and immediately opened the box, gobbling down the rice and meat, not caring anymore about how messy her eating habit must have looked for him. He didn't fail to give her the large iced tea that came with the meal, and she slurped it noisily.

In less than ten minutes, she was done with the food, and as she dabbed her tissue on her mouth, she chanced him a look.

"Sasuke," he said, meeting her eyes.

Sakura slowly nodded. "Thank you. Thank you, Sasuke-kun."

She bowed her head in embarrassment as she recalled how harshly she had treated and misjudged him before.

"I'm feeling better. I'm going," she smiled shyly at him before pushing the car door open. "Thank you again." Still feeling guilty, she no longer looked at him and just ambled off.

xxx

The next time they saw each other was during a rainy afternoon, when she, failing to pay for her rent for the third time in a row, had finally had her ass kicked out of her apartment, and she had no place to go except to the dark alleyway beside the coffee shop. She didn't plan to stay there, but it was raining hard and she had not time and money to buy a new umbrella, and it was just too much for her. She slid down the wall and cried until she was spent and shivering, thinking if she would still decide to live for another day.

But then she felt the raindrops halting even with the splashing sound around her, and she looked up to see a figure hovering over her, with an umbrella in his hand sheltering the both of them from the onslaught of rain.

"Why are you here?" she asked, not wanting him to see her at her most vulnerable point (probably) in her entire life.

He remained silent, and she angrily stood up. "Go away."

"No."

"I don't need your pity."

"Come with me."

"What?" she bit out, confused.

"You can stay in my apartment," he said, his tone heavily serious.

She laughed dryly. "And why am I gonna do that? Is living with a complete stranger the norm now?"

"You don't have a choice."

He merely stated the truth, but it was enough trigger for her to bring her hands to his chest in an attempt to shove him away.

He caught her wrists though and held her dripping figure against his warm, iron-pressed suit.

"Trust me, Sakura."

And the downpour continued.

xxx

She still felt wary around him even when he had practically made sure that she would be comfortable with their living arrangement. He gave her the guest room which was really big and had its own washroom inside. He also silently showed her that the doorknob was working. He had assured her that he wouldn't be home most of the time because of business matters and so, she could always have the whole apartment to herself. That and the fact that there would be no chance for him to do any of the suspicions she had been harboring against him.

Sasuke stayed true to his word. They merely saw each other regularly even though they were living under the same roof. By the time she woke up, Sasuke was no longer there. And Sasuke still wasn't there by the time she turned off the bedside lamp. He would bring her groceries every now and then, so Sakura could actually cook for herself. She once contemplated cooking for him but was afraid it could signify another meaning.

Then one night, she had just come out of shower when she heard a bang outside. She quickly wrapped a towel around herself and went outside her room to check. She then saw Sasuke leaning heavily against the door, his face crumpled in distress and fury. Sakura was just about to open her mouth when Sasuke suddenly lunged at her, clasping his hands on her arms and vehemently kissing her, pushing her against the nearest wall. Sakura was so shocked that she felt paralyzed. Only when Sasuke's hand slipped inside her thigh did she find the strength to shove him hard and slap him.

"What the hell are you doing?!" she growled, feeling betrayed.

Sasuke just went to her again and cupped her cheeks, pressing his mouth against hers before pulling back quickly. "Please, just this once. I'm lonely," he whispered desperately before catching her lips again.

Sakura's mind was telling her to get the hell out of there, scramble away, but definitely not before delivering a punch to his face. But her heart was taking pity on him. She couldn't resist the miserable look in his eyes as he told her that. He was feeling lonely, and during those times that she was feeling the same thing, hopeless, and ready to give up, he was the only one who was there to catch her. So she felt responsible to pay him back for all that he had done for her, and if it was to be in this form, then so be it.

She then responded initially with hesitation. But Sasuke ran his hands up and down her arms until he hoisted her up, making her gasp at the sudden movement. Sasuke took the opportunity to plunge his tongue in and taste hers. Sakura had never been in any relationship before, and she didn't know anything about this activity, but she just followed her instinct, letting her tongue wriggle against his as she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck.

Suddenly, Sasuke was leading them towards his room, and she felt him tug at her towel. She broke the kiss for air, blushing madly as she realized how close their faces were. She gave a sharp gasp when he laid her down on the bed and pulled the towel off her. She immediately covered herself helplessly and turned her face away, but Sasuke just kissed the inside of her wrist and trailed his lips up her arm until he reached the shell of her ear.

"You're beautiful."

She gave herself to him that night. She almost cried at the pain of sudden intrusion, but Sasuke had uncharacteristically whispered sweet nothings into her ear, distracting her as she felt the pain rapidly ebbing away, quickly being displaced by immense pleasure. Their melded bodies followed an erratic rhythm, but soon enough she was crying out his name, and he was mumbling a sorry into her hair.

The morning after that was very awkward that Sakura had to pretend that she was still asleep when she felt Sasuke stirring beside her, shifting to face her back. She then felt his hands brush across her naked waist, and she swore the hairs on her skin stood up at the slightest of friction.

"Sakura. Stop pretending."

She then rolled to face him but still averted her gaze away.

"I'm sorry about last night," he began softly.

"Uhm...no. It's...I understand," she said, still not looking at him. She really didn't regret it because he had told her his reason, and she had found her own justification for agreeing. He also made it easier for her, and she felt a little thankful.

He moved to lie on his back, his arm draped on his forehead.

"It's a lot of pressure about there. It's killing me."

She felt her heart clench at his statement, and she didn't know why.

"I'm sorry. For all the things I said to you before..."

"Don't. It's true anyway. I've got the money to do anything I want."

"Yes, but you're not as happy as I accused you to be," she said apologetically, a sad smile marring her face.

She then felt his finger lightly brushing across her cheek. "Sometimes, I am."

His smoldering eyes were boring into hers, and she reddened at his gesture, forcibly looking at anything but him. Sasuke then sat up and gathered his clothes.

"Rest for the day, Sakura." His eyes lingered at somewhere below her stomach, and she caught on his meaning.

"No...I'm go—"

"I didn't know. I'm sorry."

"I don't mind. Not like I'm reserving it for someone anyway," she half-chuckled, not wanting him to make a big deal out of it.

"But I'm a stranger."

Sakura also moved to sat up and without thinking, held his hand.

"No. Not anymore, Sasuke-kun."

xxx

She didn't know how it had happened, but all of a sudden, she was seeing everything in a new light. She found herself wanting to cook for him, wanting to ask him about his work, staying up late to wait for him, watching TV with him, feeling butterflies in her stomach whenever he'd tell her he'd pick her up from work. Many times, he'd offer to give her money so she could get back to school, but she'd always refuse it saying she was saving up on her own, and Sasuke always respected that, never failing to assure her that his assistance would always be available for her if she needed it.

It didn't come as a surprise to her when on the night of her 21st birthday that they celebrated together, she found herself knocking on his door. She couldn't sleep, and there was an aching need to touch him.

She was only in her flimsy nightgown when he opened the door, startled at the sight of her. Forgetting about all her hesitations, she jumped up to him and kissed him hard, seeking entrance.

Sasuke lightly pushed her away.

"You should go back to sleep," he said sternly.

She just shook her head. "No. You've been too kind to me and I owe you a lot, Sasuke-kun. I figured this is the only way I can pay you. I will make you feel less lonely."

She pressed a kiss to his forehead and slid down the bridge of his nose, muttering against his lips, "Please let me."

He held her gaze for a second before finally accepting her invitation, pulling her in and crashing his mouth against hers. She smiled against his lips, delighted that they shared the same need for each other's company.

Three months into the routine, and Sakura had been trying to convince herself that it was just nothing more than a physical relationship, something that each of them could benefit from, some sort of a stress-reliever. But every time she thought of it as casual, every time she found Sasuke absent when she woke up in the morning, and every time she thought of the reasons why Sasuke wouldn't come home on some nights, she found it difficult to breathe.

She spent away the restless nights crying because she wanted him to know that things had become different, that it was never the same for her, and that she wanted him to feel that way, too. She was tired of telling her co-workers that they were nothing but friends, tired of seeing his picture on TV or on the newspapers getting rumored about having another blonde girl as his girlfriend, and she wanted so much more from him. He had never opened up so much about himself and his family, and she thought it was because she didn't have the right to know. But she wanted to share his every pain. He was always there for her. He consoled her the whole night during the death anniversary of her parents, and she wouldn't forget how gently he rocked her to sleep, never leaving her side until she woke up and pushed him to go to work. She wanted to be the one he'd immediately go to for emotional comfort. She wanted to be his strength.

But every time, she lacked the resolve to tell him just how much he had been growing on her, just how much she couldn't contain her feelings anymore because she was afraid that he didn't want the same thing. Even when they made love, she couldn't help but shed silent tears as she thought about what Sasuke might be feeling because she wouldn't be able to accept it if he'd let her know that she was only treated as one of his partners in bed. She couldn't go on pretending that she was doing it just because she wanted to pay off her debts. She couldn't go on pretending that it meant nothing, that he meant nothing to her because she was more than willing to give him more than her body.

And the next time Sasuke came home, she'd make sure he'd know it.

a bit ooc but i enjoyed writing this. will be a twoshot. expect the next chap in two weeks (that is, if i receive enough encouragement). please drop me reviewssss and read my profile. thanks!