Bittersweet.

Bittersweet is such a perfect word.

Hollow victories are so bittersweet. You win but at what cost? Revenge is so bittersweet. You made someone suffer but it doesn't leave you as satisfied as you'd like.

Getting what you want can be so bittersweet. You claw and beg and work your ass off for something. You've been trying for so long that when you finally get it, it doesn't make you glow with as much happiness as you thought it would. Thoughts like, 'I need this to be happy' pop in your head. 'If I get that job, I'll be happy.' 'If I make it on stage, I'll be happy.' 'If I become famous, I'll be happy.' But then you reach those goals and they don't make you as happy as you thought it would.

Bittersweet is left on your tongue.

But on top of reaching your pyrrhic goal, a feeling of fear will follow. Cuz you reached your goal and it didn't make you happy, so what do you do now? Or even worse, your goal is staring you right in the face and you freeze with fear. A bolt of stage fright hits you like a train. You only have to reach out and take it. Accept your goal, hold it in your arms and claim it as yours. But you can't.

Because you're scared. Scared of what this'll mean to you now that you have it. Scared of what it might change in you. Scared of what happens afterwards. What lies beyond your goal is an unknown world.

And that can knock all the courage out of a person. So, they turn away from the thing they wanted more than anything. The thing they struggled to get is left untouched because they were too scared to face their own desires.

So, you back off. You try again. You start reaching for your goal again or you decide on a new goal. And you become happy and content with your struggle all because you were too scared to finish what you started. All because, you were scared of commitment.

Bittersweet.

All one can feel is bittersweet.

"Hey, Delic!" Soka Red called.

The auburn-haired man waved to Delic as he came down the hall, a plastic bag in his hand.

"Hey." Delic pushed off the wall, a twelve-pack of Guiness in one hand and a paper bag in the other. "You ready to get shitfaced?"

"Hell yeah~!" Soka Red smiled.

Delic grinned as he pulled out his room key. The blond opened the door and the two adults walked inside.

"So, why'd you call me so early?" Soka asked. "It's only either…what?"

Soka pulled out his phone to check the time as Delic closed the door.

"8:22." Soka pocketed his phone. He looked up at the blond. "We're four hou—"

Delic kissed Soka. The host's eyes widened to the chaste 'chu' that came from their lips.

"I had a date." Delic said with a smile. "It ended earlier than I thought it would, so I figured we could meet up."

Delic turned from Soka and headed to the bed. He took off his overcoat and hung it on a chair.

"I've got Guiness and Irish Cream. Wanna do some trashcans*?"

"Did something happen?"

Delic paused. His mind immediately went to his interaction with Hibiya not even a half-an-hour ago.

"Um, I um…I have to go." Delic stood.

"Eh, w-wait! Delic!'

"I really have to go." Delic rushed to the door. "I'll, um, I'll see you around."

"Deli—"

Delic slammed the door behind him.

"Not really. It was pretty uneventful." Delic sat on the bed. "Can you grab shot glasses?"

Soka looked at him. "…Sure, yeah."

The auburn-haired man went over to the minibar and grabbed two shot glasses. Delic pulled two plastic cups out of the paper bag. He pulled a large bottle of Guiness out and placed it on the nightstand. Soka came over and sat on the bed, putting the vinyl bag next to him on the blankets.

"Shitfaced, shitfaced, shitfaced!" Delic started chanting.

"Shitfaced, shitfaced, shitfaced!" Soka join in as he pulled the Irish Cream out of the bag. "This is gonna be a great but bad night!"

"Indubitably!"

"So," Delic started opening the bottle. "Why you wanna be irresponsible?"

"I'll tell you when I'm drunk." Soka opened the Irish Cream.

Delic chuckled. He grabbed one of the cups and began filling it with Guiness. "How irresponsible do you wanna get?"

"How irresponsible do you want to get?" Soka filled both the shot glasses with Irish Cream.

"I plan to have you in my ass by the end of the night."

Soka grinned. Delic handed the host a full cup of Guiness. Soka gave Delic a shot glass of Irish Cream.

"Same rules apply?"

"Yup! You got the tequila?"

"Yup." Soka put his drinks on his lap and reached into the plastic bag. He pulled out a bottle of tequila and a bag of limes.

"Hey, no limes!"

"Noh, ples!" Soka hugged the limes to his chest. "I'm gunna dieh without tem!"

"Noh! Put tem down!"

"Noh! Noh, ples!"

"How 'bout this, how 'bout this, how 'bout this!" Delic held up his cup of Guiness and Irish Cream shot. "How 'bout this. If I win, no limes."

"If I win then limes?" Soka said in mock hopefulness.

"Yas, Queen"

"Yaaaasss!"

"Okay, okay, okay, okay, come on!" He held up his Guiness. "To shitfaced!"

"To shitfaced!" Soka put the limes down.

The two clacked cups.

They dropped the shot glasses of Irish Cream into the cups. They fell to the bottom with a *plunk*. The two hosts immediately began to chug their drink. It was a competition to see who could drink faster. Delic could feel some alcohol drizzle down his chin onto his white button up.

'I don't want to think right now.'

Delic felt the shot glass against his lip, meaning he was close to the bottom.

'I want to forget about Hibiya. Forget everything that happened tonight.'

Delic finished off his drink. "Done!"

Soka finished a little bit after. "No~!"

"Hahaha, no limes!"

"I'm gunna dieh!"

"Don't be a pussy! We've drank tequila without limes before."

Soka mock cried.

Delic laughed.

'Everything needs to go away. Just for tonight. I'll figure it out later but for now…'

"Round two!" Soka yelled, pulling out his shot glass.

'I want to forget.'

"Yeah, baby!"

Delic didn't want to open his eyes. He was more than content staying in bed, cuddling under the warm blankets.

But he had to get up. He could hear someone retching, followed by the unmistakable noise of something going into a toilet bowl. Someone was puking.

Delic sat up. He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling a soreness on the junction of his neck and shoulder. He didn't need to look in a mirror to know he had a sizable, deep hickey on that spot. His clothes were scattered on the floor, along with Soka Red's. Puke sat on the corner of the blanket that was drooping off the bed and there was a pile of dried vomit on the floor. Most-likely Delic's.

"You okay, Soka?" Delic tossed the blankets off and stood.

His knees buckled. Delic quickly grabbed onto the nightstand to catch himself. His hand slammed against the hardwood table top. His ass throbbed to the movement. He wasn't sure if it was pleasurable or not, but it rippled through his body. Delic groaned.

Soka continued to make vomiting sounds. The blond felt his strength return enough for him to stand properly. Liquids dribbled down his thighs from his puckering entrance. It was warm and for a moment, Delic felt gross.

"Hey, Soka." Delic took stuttering steps to the bathroom.

His legs wobbled, his back ached. He knew exactly who it was to blame.

"So~ka~!" Delic rested against the bathroom door. "I thought we had a gentlemen's agreement that you'd stop coming inside me."

"Ohgh, not now, Delic." Soka retched.

Delic chuckled and knelt down by his fallen friend. He patted him on the back.

"No, don't touch me righ—hurgh!"

Delic retracted his hand with a chuckle.

"Shall I go get you a greasy breakfast?" Delic asked.

"I hate you."

Delic held back a laugh. "Lemme clean up real fast and I'll go get you some aspirin and bacon."

"I want McDonalds…"

"Bokay~!"

"Let's…I need to clean up too…"

"Wanna shower together?"

"Mm-hm…"

Delic laughed softly. "You sound so sad."

"I am sad. Mine head hurtses."

"You had fun, don't be a baby."

Soka mock cried. Delic chuckled.

"Come on, shower time!" The host beamed.

Delic unwrapped his McChicken. He took a bite as he walked down the Ikebukuro streets. A McDonald was just around the corner from their hotel, so he decided to let Soka rest while he went on a food run. They had the room until five this evening so Soka had plenty of time to recover before work tonight. If he couldn't, Delic would let Akabayashi know why and take full responsibility for Soka Red's absence.

Delic's phone buzzed in his pocket. He held his burger in his mouth in order to pull his phone out of his pants. He stepped over to the guardrail in order to be out of the way of pedestrian traffic and stopped in his tracks.

(5) New Messages

Delic went to his messenger.

(1) Tsukishima

(2) Unknown Number

Delic clicked Tsukishima's.

Saturday, 9:40pm

:Hey, Nii-san, you coming back tonight?:

Today, 7:22am

:What time are you coming home today?:

Delic touched the reply box. :I'll be home in the next our or so srry for notrereplying soonr:

He hit send. Then backed out and clicked the unknown number.

Saturday, 8:10pm

:Delic, why did you leave so suddenly? Are you alright?:

:Had what I said made you uncomfortable?:

:Delic, may we meet up? I wish to speak with you on this subject.:

Delic felt his heart drop and his stomach clench. His brows furrowed up.

'Later. I'll text him later.'

*Irish Trashcans: A cup of Guiness and a shot of Irish Cream. You drop the shot into the Guiness. It tastes like chocolate milk but the guiness will make the Irish cream curdle so you have to chug it before that happens.