Rey's first memory is when she's about three. Ben's pockets are filled with worms, Rey has a frog in her pants, and she's trying really hard not to laugh and give them away. She thinks that it'll always be like this. (She promises that it will.)
She's close to eight the first time she has to protect her big brother. Rey knows how to throw a punch, but she's going to have to use her wits to win this battle.
When Rey's fourteen, she almost loses everything. It's not even Ben's fault.

Heyo! Here's the companion piece to The Guardian that I promised (and look at that, ahead of schedule; I spoil you guys completely rotten)! I decided to go ahead and post this now, because I'm going to be pretty busy this week (thanks a lot, school).

So, writing from the perspective of a three-year-old is super duper hard and I don't think I'm ever going to again. It's awful (fun, but awful). Hope this works out for you guys!

Weirdness dead ahead. Kids are dorks.

*This in no way reflects my actual theories for Rey's parentage or the plot of the official movies.

**Cross-posted on ArchiveOfOurOwn under the username little_yellow_cape

***Everything belongs to George Lucas and Disney. I own nothing.

i.

She remembers warm laughter, a soft breeze, and dirt between her toes. It's insignificant, a drop of water in the vast, limitless Ocean. And yet it's distinct. Untouched by the weathering of Time. It's, perhaps, that first drop of water, the primordial grain of sand, scattered among the shifting dunes. The Rest are vague, half-formed images, mere impressions, loosely carved into the sands, never fully comprehended before the Winds come and disperse the notions.

But this one. She remembers this one. Always. A single grain, a lone drop, refusing to be washed, or worn, or blown away. So entrenched in her being, her very soul, that it is not merely an embellishment, but a part of her essence, a facet of all that she was, had been, could be. This piece belongs to no one else. Just Her. Because it is Her, just as her Hair, and her Eyes, and her Hands are Her.

There is laughter, light and airy and warm, like the tickling of the sun on cheeks in the middle of summer. She is drawn to it, a little planet pulled into the orbit of a star. Reaching the sound, she climbs up, up, up, like going to the tops of the Trees. Arms immediately encircle her (they're much nicer than the Trees' branches), and she feels all warm, like the sun swallowed her up in a caterpillar's cocoon. Her ear is pressed against Daddy's chest, right at her spot, her favorite place for Naps, and Daddy's Laugh rumbles in her head, loud and booming like Thunder, but not nearly as Scary. A giggle bubbles up her throat, like those weird fuzzy drinks that Mama only let her drink when she was being Very Good, and she can't stop it (not that she wanted to). Mama is on the other side of the table, and her Laugh is soft and tinkling, like bells or the Stars that speckle the Sky at Night. Ben's next to her, and if Daddy's Laugh was the Sun and Mama's the Stars, then Ben's was like the Moon, usually quiet and gentle, really beautiful, but never overwhelming.

They're outside. She can hear the Birds in the surrounding Woods, the towering Trees shivering in the light breeze, almost as if they were cold. She doesn't understand why'd they'd be cold; it's a warm day, the Sun beaming down and washing the world in a bright glow. They're sitting out on the Porch, at the Table where she would like to eat every meal ever for the rest of her life (and that's a lot of meals), and she can feel the Wind playing with her hair, gentler than Ben usually did, but not as prettily as Mama.

And they're laughing. She doesn't remember why, doesn't remember what started this scene. But she knows that they're laughing. Deep in her bones, that singular grain of sand in all of the desert, she remembers, and she feels it. That Happiness, that Joy, that Love.

She refuses to let the Wind blow this grain away. Even if the Wind steals everything else, the memories of her Imaginary Friends, of her favorite toys, of all the funny little stories she used to know, even if it takes all of those, she will not let it take this. Never this.

Because this is her Family, and they're Laughing, and they're Happy.

But then there's that horrible chiming from inside, the one that means Mama and Daddy have to answer a Work Call. She's set back on the Ground, and she's off like a bolt, even before Daddy can ruffle her hair and make it messier than it already is. Ben's already ahead of her (like he always is, because he's Older and Amazing and Super Fast and she Loves him for it), and he's leading her on their next Adventure.

The Dirt squeezes between her toes, squirming up into the gaps connecting each one, and the cool green Grass tickles the bottoms of her feet. She's supposed to wear Shoes when she's Outside (it's one of the Rules), but she Loves how she can feel everything so much more when she doesn't.

Ben's stopped in front of her, and she doesn't notice until it's almost too late. She hops quickly from foot to foot, and manages to only smack a little bit into her older brother. He's crouched down, and nearly falls flat on his face when she bumps into his back. It makes her Laugh, because Ben makes the silliest faces. But that's a Mistake, because whenever she laughs at him, Ben pushes her and she falls on her butt. And she lashes back out with a kick (which she knows she's not supposed to, because hitting and kicking is Bad and Mama'll yell at them, but she can't lose to Ben). They scuffle a bit, there in the dirt, and if Daddy were Outside to see it he'd probably Laugh and call them his little Puffer Pigs, but then her back's against the Ground and she's Losing, so she pulls the only trump card she has.

Her mouth's only just opened, ready to scream for Mama and Daddy, before Ben's scrambling up and shushing her, casting frenzied looks in the direction of the House. He apologizes, and even lets her get a Freebie in (she punches him right in the stomach, and cackles at the grimace he returns). But they forgive each other and get back up, and then Ben's searching through the Bushes right at the edge of the Yard.

They're not allowed to go any farther, not with Mama and Daddy still Inside and not Outside, and she tells Ben this. But he shouts in triumph and grabs her arms, dragging her feet through the dirt until she's crouched down beside him. She pushes him a little and Pouts (they're too close to the Woods; they'll get in Trouble), but Ben points one of his long fingers down at something on the ground, hiding among globs of half-dried Mud and Grass and Twigs.

A Frog.

She thinks she squeals, a delighted sound that makes Ben wince and cover his ears. 'Breha!' he hisses under his breath, just as the Frog hops away a little bit. She Pouts again, and throws out her arms to shove Ben (she's not Breha, it's Rey, and it's only Breha when she's in Trouble), but Ben is Older and Bigger and shoving him doesn't really do anything. He pushes her hands away and sneaks back up on the Frog, even farther into the Woods.

Before she can Yell at him (because they're too far from the House), he's lunging for the Frog and scooping it up into his hands. She immediately forgets about getting in Trouble, because Ben shows her the Frog and they both bend over it. It's huge, all green and brown, with long, long legs and dark eyes and a throat that expands whenever it croaks. He's Perfect, and she Loves him.

Ben lets her hold him. Ben lets her hold him. And he's slimy and gross and smells almost as weird as Ben but he's probably the most Adorable and Perfect and Amazing thing she's ever held.

She demands that they keep Frog (the Name that she's already decided up in her head). Ben scoffs and says that Mama would Never let them keep Frog – just like Mama wouldn't let her keep Caterpillar a few weeks ago, or Beetle before that – but then Ben's Smiling, and she knows without a doubt that they're gonna do something Fun.

Ben says that if Mama never finds out, then Mama'll never get Mad. She Thinks it's a Good Idea, so Ben comes up with ways to sneak Frog into the House (they'll do it just like Daddy used to, Ben says). She suggests swallowing Frog, so that he's in her Tummy, and then Frog can pop out and be her Baby, just like her and Ben were for Mama. Ben gives her a Weird Look, like she's Stupid (which is a Mean Word that she's never, ever, ever supposed to say but that Ben calls her all the time) and says that they'll need a different Idea.

But First, they'll need Supplies. (She doesn't know what Ben means by that, but he Explains it to her, and she Understands then.) After all, they'll need food for Frog, because Frog won't like their food, even if she offered to share some of hers. She doesn't know what Frog likes to eat, and she doesn't know Frogese as well as Basic or Shyriiwook or any of the other Languages she Knows, so she can't even really ask Frog what he wants. Ben says that Frog eats Worms, and he's Older and Smarter so of course he must be Right.

If they want Frog to be Happy (and she really, really does), then they'll have to grab some Worms for him to eat. She doesn't really like that, because Ben dared her to eat a Worm once, and they don't really taste very Good, so she doesn't know why Frog would like Worms, but she wants Frog to be Happy, so she helps Ben dig Worms out of the Ground.

It doesn't take long, because there's lots of Worms in the Yard and the Woods, nice big fat ones that are almost as long as her arms they're so big. They stuff them into Ben's pockets, until they're overflowing with Worms and Dirt. But they don't know where to put Frog so that they can sneak him in. He's too big to put into their pockets, but they're running out of Time before Mama and Daddy come back out.

And it's too late, because the Backdoor to the House is already sliding open and Mama's yelling that it's time to go Inside and she panics a little bit because she's still holding Frog but they don't know how to get him past Mama and Daddy. But Ben's Older, and Smarter, and he doesn't Panic, so he comes up with a New Plan. He grabs Frog from her, and she wants to yell at him for it, but then he pulls on the back of her pants and he puts Frog in her pants.

She can feel Frog, all lumpy and slimy and gross against her leg, in her pants, and she wants to Hit Ben for it because it doesn't feel very Nice at all, but he shushes her and says that it'll only be until they get to Ben's Room, and then they can take Frog back out. It feels Weird, and she has to do this awkward hobble-step to make sure Frog doesn't slip down her legs, and she can't Run or else he'll fall, and if she sat down right now Frog would be squished because he's right in the seat of her pants.

She forces herself to slow down, to shuffle her feet like how she always comes Inside, because she likes being Outside and playing in the Dirt and the Trees and if she acted any different then Mama and Daddy would Know and they'd have to get rid of Frog. And they're so close, all they need to do is go up the Stairs and into Ben's Room and they'd have Frog without Mama and Daddy knowing. They're so close that she can feel the Laughter bubbling up again, and Ben notices and elbows her just a little, and it sorta makes her wanna Laugh even more.

They're so close. And then there's a wet plop right behind them. And her and Ben both freeze, and they don't move at all, and behind them she knows that Mama and Daddy are frozen, too. All of them just standing there not really Knowing what to Do. Ben dares to look behind them, and so she does too, and she sees a little wad of Dirt and Worms, wriggling and brown and gross on the clean white floor.

She wants to Laugh. It's really, really hard not to. But Ben has that Look he gets whenever they get in Trouble, and Mama has her arms crossed over her chest and her eyebrow raised, and she knows that her and Ben are in Trouble. (But Daddy looks like he wants to Laugh almost as much as she does, so she thinks maybe it won't be too Bad.)

Frog disagrees. He's squirming even harder now, wriggling around in her pants like he doesn't want to go up to Ben's Room with her and Ben. Mama's opening her mouth, to Ask what they think they're doing, and probably to Scold them, but Frog doesn't want to wait, so he squirms his way down her leg and she bites her lip to keep from Crying because it feels Gross and Weird and she doesn't Like it. And then Frog's sliding down the leg of her pant and plopping down, right on top of her bare foot. Frog croaks once, loud in the stunned silence of Mama and Daddy, before he hops forward a little, closer to the wad of Dirt and Worms.

Ben's looking away and trying to shrink in on himself, she wants to Cry, and Mama's lips have tightened and they're in so much Trouble. But Daddy Laughs. It's his big, warm Chuckle, one of her Favorites, and then she's Laughing too, because it's Hard not to and it's a lot better than wanting to Cry. Ben chimes in, until she has to lean against him and he has his arm on top of her head and they're Laughing so much, and then Mama's eyes are softening and she's Laughing too and everything is Funny and Happy and Good.

Mama and Daddy hug her and Ben, all of them Laughing, and everything is fine, but then Mama's ushering her and Ben back Outside and telling them to empty their pockets, and Daddy's scooping up the Dirt and Worms and Frog and putting them back where they belong. Daddy's in charge of making sure there's no more Dirt and Worms in Ben's pockets, and that's not Fair because Daddy's much better at this than they are, so he finds all of them.

Mama goes Inside to draw a Bath for them, because her feet are covered in Mud and Ben smells Bad, and Daddy ruffles their hair and tells them it was a good try, but they'd have to be more Clever next time. Ben leans down and Whispers into her ear. (Next time, they'll hide the Worms in her shirt.)

And she Laughs and agrees, even if she kinda wants to Hit Ben for that (she doesn't want Worms in her shirt). But they will try for a next time; she thinks that they'll always have a next time. That's what Big Brothers and Little Sisters did, they always came up with new Plans together. Even if that involved Ben stuffing Worms in his pockets and her hiding a Frog in her pants.

Because that's what Siblings were for. For Silly Plans, and Laughter, and getting into Trouble. And even if she sorta wanted to Hit Ben for it, she'd do it again, and again, and again. Until the end of Time itself (and that was a really long time, but that's how long her and Ben would be together).

Sorry if this seemed a little rushed. Childhood memories are weird and confusing and so is my writing style.

Also, thanks to my own three-year-old niece, who was my muse and inspiration for Rey. (Kids are annoying little things, but they're so funny and cute sometimes.)

IMPORTANT THING: Guys, I really need your input on something. Lightsabers. As in, Ben's and Rey's. What color? What style? How do they fight? I need ideas here, people! Help!

But, anyway, ignore my pathetic panicking.

Thank you guys so much for reading! Please leave any comments, questions, ideas, or concerns you guys have for me!

XOXO,

~Cape