A/N: This is the sequel to The Mask We Wear. If you haven't read the first that's okay because the two stories have very little to do with each other, but I highly suggest at least reading the last two chapters or you'll be confused. If you didn't read the story in the past because of grammatical errors, my beta has gone back and edited all of my old chapters.

For those who read the first story, welcome back! The way this story will be set up is very 50/50. While half of this story will consist of Byakuya and Ichigo's life in hiding, the other half with consist of war preparations within the Soul Society. Other than this first chapter, each chapter will take turns consisting of ByaIci or the war, for instance, this chapters mostly about Byakuya and Ichigo, the next is all SS stuff, and the third will be all Byakuya and Ichigo again. This pattern continues until both story intertwine.

Just a fair warning, Ichigo does deal with some depression and anxiety issues within this story. I know some people don't enjoy reading stories with that kind of subject matter.

Good vibes!

xXx

"All I need is somewhere to lay,

somewhere to lay my hat up.

I need someone to love in the middle of the day.

I want someone to be, and someone to drive around town.

I need someone to love when the chips are down.

Love me when the chips are down" -The Kooks "Around Town"

xXx

Old Habits

Two weeks after Byakuya and Ichigo defected, a meeting was held within the assemblage hall of the Elders' quarters. The group of men gathered to discuss the bedlam that has ensued since their escape and what strategic maneuvers should be taken in light of the situation.

A cloaked elder donned in rich maroons and clunky sterling silver jewels addressed the head elder with a stoic glare. "There's been no luck in the retrieval of the defectors. Last night, a soul reaper infiltrated the adoption center in hopes of finding some sort of address, but nothing was on record. They must have taken precautions, figuring something like this would occur. Central ordered the Captain-Commander to deploy a search team, and though he agreed, I could tell it was done begrudgingly. I have my concerns that neither he nor the soul reapers deployed are truly understanding the severity of the situation. Perhaps his alliance doesn't truly lie with us, and that could be detrimental."

Yoshida tapped the monogamy table in contemplation before he habitually caressed his argon beard. "What the Captain-Commander believes is of little importance to me. What about the rest of the Gotei? Are they buying into the story?"

This time a different elder spoke up, "We've been keeping our ear to the ground, and the general conscience is shock but not disbelief. That spirited speech you gave surely helped, since it's been centuries since a house elder has addressed the entirety of the Gotei Thirteen."

Aktyama sat with his legs crossed and gave a patronizing clap of the hands. "Yes, that was some show, Yoshida-san."

Sighing and giving a dismissive wave of his wrinkled hand, he concluded, "Well, it was the head of our household who defected with a wanted criminal. It only made sense for the elders to make some statement. I merely took the opportunity to rile up urgency and express how dire their retrieval is. Though many were shocked, most have no reason to doubt the allegations. In fact, their running only implicates them further."

"Yeah, that's all well and good, but without any actual proof, people will begin to have their doubts. An accusation of an attempted terrorist attack is not convincing enough," said another elder, giving Yoshida a dubious cock of the eye brow.

The head elder let a wolfish smile gape his wrinkled face before he gestured to the maroon-clad elder and replied, "Ah, that's why the news Fukui-san brought me yesterday was timely and possibly a solution to our concerns."

Fukui elaborated, "As you know, we have eyes and ears everywhere. Within the district, there are rumors of a group of soul reapers acting as good Samaritans of sort. It's not clear what they're actually doing quite yet, though it seems to be some sort of reform group."

"I don't think I quite understand. How is this a good thing?" said an elder.

Shaking his head in subtle frustration, Yoshida replied, "Must I paint you a picture? Everything is about perspective. A reform group can easily be portrayed as a resistance, and since they're breaking our laws, it's not completely false. When we announce the new laws, we'll tell the people about the formation of this group. We'll explain that Kurosaki was possibly in cahoots with this resistance group and about their," with a voice of smug condescension, he went on, "deplorable agenda: They want to take the power out of the hands of Central and disperse it to the districts of the Rukongai, a plan to make the Seireitei no more by integrating soul reapers into the Rukongai. Though the ambitions of the resistance are good intentioned, by taking power away from Central, they're marking the protection of the Soul King as low priority and in turn, endangering the whole world. At least this is what we'll feed the Gotei, and why wouldn't they believe us? Central's whole existence is for the protection of the Soul King and the people of the Seireitei."

He smirked and Aktyama rolled his eyes while biting back a scoff, thinking to himself what a load of bull that was, especially in this situation. "We surely won't be calling them reformers, no, we'll call them separatists, separatists who want to dismantle the foundation of the Gotei and distance themselves from the morals of our world. Such a prideful group of individuals are the Gotei, that the belief that this group wanted to break away and degrade the ties that hold the militia together would be abhorrent."

Fukui held up an index finger and added, "The existence of a resistance will be a great addition to our reasoning for these new laws and enhance our probability of a favorable outcome."

As Yoshida nodded amicably, Aktyama pinched the bridge of his nose and said exasperatedly, "Yoshida-san, your notion that the truth is malleable is only triumphed by your malleable morals."

Throwing Aktyama a sharp sideways glance, Yoshida countered, "Feel as you like Aktyama, but you're sitting right here with us. You're just as much morally adaptable as I."

Aktyama wanted to say something like, 'as if I have a choice,' but held his tongue.

Another elder, who had been somewhat nervously fiddling with his fingers, couldn't hold back the obvious any longer. "Why is it no one's talking about Kuchiki-san's disappearance?" At the odd looks he was thrown, he clarified more confidently. "What I'm saying is, this whole thing started because of that damn prophecy, right? Head Elder Yoshida was wrong: Kuchiki-san did leave." All the elders tightened their jaws slightly, gauging Yoshida's reaction towards the man's brave words of dissidence. "So that means the prophecy is wrong, correct?"

A heavy scowl marred Yoshida's face as he clenched his body in anger, his supercilious nature getting the better of him.

Aktyama could practically see animated lines of heat spewing from his fellow elder. Knowing Yoshida hated being called out, he took the liberty of responding. "Not to point out the obvious, but this prophecy never actually mentioned Kuchiki-san by name. The answer could be as simple as he wasn't the head of the household that the oracle spoke of."

Instead of pacifying the head elder, this was merely an impetus for the man's already bruised ego. "Nonsense," he spat while hitting the table. "I don't accept that, besides, if not him, then who else? I haven't given up hope that'll he'll come to his senses."

Completely unfazed, Aktyama ran his hands through his black hair before gesturing with his hand. "Well, there is one other person with the pure Kuchiki bloodline. They could-"

"Oh, not her!" Yoshida groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. In a frustrated yet relatively calm voice he said, "If the idea wasn't so ludicrous I'd almost think you were joking."

Rolling his eyes and plopping his hands back in his lap, he resigned, "She's extremely powerful in her own right, but if you're going to continue to be a stubborn old bat, fine."

Yoshida huffed slightly and turned his attention back to the group, but was still addressing his right hand man. "Just give the situation more time." After a brief epoch , he continued, "Right now, our number one priority is finding those two. We must stay vigilant, for those two hold our power in their hands."

xXx

Opulent onyx hair hung over the edge of the couch as Byakuya leaned his head back, taking in the sensation of tingling sticky sweetness dripping down his naval and Ichigo's tepid tongue lapping up the desert. The mixture of frigid ice cream melting down to his pelvis and Ichigo's warming mouth licking all the right places caused Byakuya to squirm with sensual carnality.

Ichigo, straddling his husband, moved his mouth from Byakuya's effulgent stomach with a tongue full of ice cream, the heat from Byakuya's skin and his wet tongue melting the dessert, making some drip from his parted lips and down his chin.

Before he could meet his dulcet lips with Byakuya's, the man turned his face away and grimaced slightly, saying, "You know how I feel about sweets."

Ichigo rolled his eyes and talked, while trying not to move his tongue too much, causing him to sound like he had a mouth full of cotton, "But It's banana flavored, you like bananas." At Byakuya's continued scowl, he swallowed down the ice cream. While grabbing a full spoon from his bowl and sliding it down Byakuya's body once more, Ichigo noted, "Got it, strictly on your body, not in your body."

For a brief moment, Byakuya's still face gave a look filled with avidity and his hands tightened around Ichigo's waist before he mocked, "You're such a child, the way you like to play with your food."

Once again lapping up the ice cream and swallowing it down, Ichigo smirked at Byakuya before quipping, "No, Milly is a child. I'm an adult. That's why I get to eat ice cream whenever the fuck I want."

Grabbing the nape of Ichigo's neck, Byakuya pulled the cold lips into his and gave a deep and slow kiss. Grasping Ichigo's chin to separate their lips, Byakuya cocked an eyebrow and said bluntly, "You know, if you continue to eat ice cream whenever you want, you'll get fat."

Yanking his chin away, Ichigo scowled at the comment before taking off his t-shirt and showing off his perfectly lean yet muscular torso. "I don't think that's going to be a problem." Pursing his lips slightly, he continued somewhat meekly, "With all this free time I have, all I do is exercise. Plus," he said with a shrug of the shoulders and a playful look in his eyes, "I have youth on my side." Leaning closer so his frigid breath could be felt on Byakuya's elegant neck, the lascivious Byakuya trembled as Ichigo whispered, "You should worry more about yourself, old man."

At the feeling of Ichigo's boxer brief-clad erection twitching against his lap and the sight of his body arching slightly, looking absolutely adorable with the half smirk half scowl he donned, Byakuya ran his firm grip all over the tight body, pulling at the skin in all the right ways.

After a bite of the lip, he pulled Ichigo close and released his passionate cupidity into his mouth. Both of the prurient men frantically tugged at each other's bodies, running wanton hands through disheveled hair and panting through touches of the lips, all while Ichigo ground his hips in circular motions on his lover's lap, causing both their erections to ache at the contact. Through huffs and the intermingling of tingling tongues, Ichigo moaned, "You should come home for lunch more often."

This just elicited a deeper shiver within Byakuya's chest, exuberant with lust. He held Ichigo tighter, moving his hips concurrently with Ichigo's, causing fiercer contact. Using one hand to cup Ichigo's face firmly while the other pressed against the arc in his muscular back, Byakuya groaned, "Why must you do this to me? You know we have very little time. Do you enjoy torturing yourself?"

Still tugging and biting at Byakuya's lips, Ichigo rasped, "Maybe." He groaned, "Can't your students learn about the prevalence Henry Greene had on the twentieth century tomorrow? They'll understand," before continuing with his bombardment of sensual kisses.

Chuckling slightly, Byakuya teased caustically, "I would, but I've become accustomed to luxuries like food and shelter, all which can't be without an income."

Twisting his face slightly, Ichigo agreed, "Yeah, food is nice." Huffing slighting in realization, he jumped off Byakuya quickly. "Fine," he groaned before dropping his briefs and standing fully exposed in front of his lover. He got on his knees beside Byakuya and leaned his stomach against the back of the couch. At Byakuya's puzzled look, he scowled. "I'm not doing this for my fucking health, ya' know. Hurry up and come here."

Shaking his head slightly, Byakuya huffed, "You really don't listen, do you? Didn't we just agree that necessities come before sexual wants?" His yearning eyes glanced over Ichigo's opened body once before he said in a flat voice, "I just don't have the time to prepare you."

Turning crimson and scowling in embarrassment, Ichigo barked, "When you called to tell me you were coming home for lunch, I- well, I-" His scowl melted as he averted his eyes. "I already, you know-" Ichigo was the easily flustered and innocent type. Even with his husband, whom he was very comfortable around, he always felt embarrassed and reserved when it concerned his own desires. At Byakuya's knowing eyes and slight smirk, Ichigo cursed, "Damn-it, don't make me say it."

Giving an amused huff, Byakuya unbuttoned his trousers and dropped them to the ground before moving behind Ichigo, his chest and girth pressed against Ichigo's back as he taunted, "You must have really missed me."

"Yeah, and isn't that normal?" he sneered, arching his neck to allow Byakuya's lips to kiss freely up the length of his back. "You don't need to be all smug about it,"

"And you don't have to be bashful about it," he countered while pressing his hardness into Ichigo. He let out an involuntary moan at the tight muscles contracting around him, swallowing him up. Taking in the sight of Ichigo's entrance practically absorbing him, his body being much more earnest than his words, Byakuya felt heat froth from his chest and radiate through his extremities. "Oh my," he noted in his sultry tenor, "You're so open." He found this sensual part of Ichigo so captivating and somehow still so pure. Sex with Ichigo was the equivalent to having an existential break through each time(;) every thrust was accompanied by the sensation of being completely alive and self-aware that this man was the only one for him. His body and soul were utterly dismantled and rebuilt with the sensation. This must be what it felt like when it was right, being so in love and having that love reciprocated fully.

Scowling halfheartedly, Ichigo said, "Well you're fucking huge. Of course I made sure I was ready. Geez, do you have to narrate everyt- Naahuhhh!"

Ichigo cut off his own sentence as a moan was drawn from his parted lips by the rhythmic penetration of Byakuya's girth. "Or perhaps your body just wants me that badly," Byakuya growled as he deepened and quickened his stride.

Bearing against the back of the couch, Ichigo's hand was balled up slightly while he bit on his ring finger, so overwhelmed by the sensation of Byakuya squeezing down on his shoulder and hip, pulling him into the motions even deeper. At his lover's lewd comment, he half moaned half sneered, "Shut up already and just fuck me, damn-it."

Pulling Ichigo's face to the side slightly, before Byakuya sunk his lips into his, he remarked, "I'm happy to oblige."

Seven months. Seven months had passed since the couple had left behind their homes and lives to begin this opaque journey with Milly. Each day had been a new challenge and a new lesson, but each day Ichigo was also filled with the reassurance that every obstacle was worth it. Life with those two was worth every sacrifice. Sometimes when he woke up to the scent of cherry blossoms and the sound of childlike giggles, Ichigo thought he was dreaming. The reality of such peace had been bewildering to him, as if he could lose it at any moment. How did he get here? When did this become his life? Having his own family to protect, being so helplessly in love, could he really have this? The answers weren't always transparent, but despite that, Ichigo knew one thing: he'd protect this with every ounce of power he had.

At first, it took a while to get into the flow of things. As expected, trial and error were needed to figure out just who was good at what or who would play what roles. It took Byakuya ruining a couple of loads of laundry and Ichigo burning quite a few meals to get to where they were now, especially when they had to move around often within Japan, trying to keep out of the clutches of Central. However, after they had settled down on the other side of the earth and gave it time, things started to flow as naturally as the changing tides. The two of them worked liked a well-oiled machine, two complete individuals coming together to make a spectacular team, both giving and taking, putting in their all.

After five months of inconsistency, the trio settled down in a nice apartment in Portland, Oregon. Byakuya took a job as a Literature professor at Reed College as a result of his fraudulent résumé and Identity. Luckily enough, Byakuya was a connoisseur of all things literature, and not only found the job within his skill set, but fulfilling and rather enjoyable. He indulged in the simplicities of this life, being able to hold the gift of learning in his hands and share that, help expand the worlds and minds of those thirsting for education. This helped him truly not just understood why he wanted the reform movement but for the first time, see the repercussions of such in action. In fact, despite the importance of the work he was doing here, this was an impetus for his want to get back to the Soul Society and implicate the things he had learned in his new human life.

Despite Milly being in remission, because of her condition, she needed more attention than most children. That's why Ichigo decided to work from home as a freelance architect. Though he only had about a quarter of the work he'd had at his old job and made about half as much, it was plenty to pay for Milly's schooling and pay off all of the utilities. Byakuya and Ichigo made enough to be comfortable but nowhere near enough to live the lavish life that Byakuya had once had. In fact, Byakuya had to work as a substitute at an inner city high school that had more students than books as a means to an end, although, this didn't bother him, since material items meant nothing when compared to the safety of his family.

Every hurdle and challenge came paired with laughs and new experiences. For the first time in his life, Ichigo had opened up to another person in complete earnest and Byakuya had done the same. Sometimes he almost felt too open; it was like his skin was itching from this newly formed attachment, his vulnerability aching the invisible scars that marred him. The eccentricities of his torn psyche were bubbling above the surface. These parts of him were as imbedded within him as his DNA; good, bad, or ugly, it was truly unavoidable. Ever since the passing of his mother, he'd walked a solitary path, always surrounded by others but somehow feeling alone. This was a result of the enormous weight he carried on his shoulders, unintentionally pushing others away in the name of protection while also fearing the abysmal darkness he felt at losing his most important person.

Even now, sometimes it seemed all but a matter of time, as if the person he was and the duties he had made him undeserving of this in some way, almost like such a simple happiness was beyond the realm of reality, as if he'd wake up at any moment alone in his loft and memories of this deep attachment would be as far-off as a dream.

Yet he understood that he and Byakuya were very similar in this way. Throughout these months together, Ichigo had grown to know so much more about his lover. Hisana had just been his breaking point; Byakuya was all too familiar with the looming cloud of death at a young age, first with his mother and then his father next, both individuals who were paramount in Byakuya's identity. After Hisana, it had almost felt as if he was alone on a mound of corpuses. He'd buried himself in solitude out of fear of feeling such extreme lose again, but more so, out of a want to protect people from the shadows. As a result, he'd become resolute in building his power to its absolute, focusing only on his duties and protection without the infliction of attachment. He'd protected Rukia without ever showing her even the slightest inkling of affection for the longest time; he'd done this of all the people within his life. Those burdens had become a mountain that Ichigo and Byakuya had to surpass, both valiantly trying to work through their baggage, if only for each other.

Both had to fight the urge to push the other away out of fear and a need to protect. How easy it was to fall back into these old mechanisms, but when the situation arose, they reminded each other that they were no longer carrying these burdens alone. Together they could conquer, and by relying on one another, they could protect their new found life dexterously.

Though you know what they say: old habits die hard. An inner turmoil had been brewing within Ichigo that he couldn't quite explain. Lately he'd felt a daunting sadness that loomed over him. It wasn't because of Byakuya or Milly; on the contrary, spending time with them seemed to be his only salvation from this sensation. It had started after Byakuya had picked up a second job and Ichigo had found himself without the company of his best friend and lover more so than not. Because he worked from home and he wasn't allowed contact with his friends or family, Ichigo thirsted for companionship in a way he never really had before. He had no friends in this new town and found himself alone with thoughts that seemed to grow more worrisome by the day. Despite knowing this is where he wanted to be, he found himself submerged in daily anxiety about the safety of his friends and family, frightened that something could happen in his absence, and more frightened that there would be nothing he could do about it.

Along with that, he found himself worried that he'd make some huge mistake, and somehow undermine his proficiency as a parent and husband. This was all new to him, and the fear of losing it or somehow not being able to shield his family from Central became a habitual concern of his. Adding to his loneliness, his work seemed to sever his sense of purpose; no longer was he using his architecture to help people but instead did simple jobs that gave little creative or personal fulfillment. Most if not all of his fulfillment came from being a father and husband. To make matters direr, this feeling seemed to being seeping into other aspects of his life, making him unmotivated to work on his own art work anymore, or hitting him in the stomach in the midst of a happy moment shared with his family. It addled him; usually he was so strong and positive. When had this ambiguous sadness filled him and how did he get rid of it? He hated feeling weak, and that's just how he felt when this feeling would come about: unexplainably fragile.

That's why he kept it from Byakuya, because he felt so unjust in these feelings. Byakuya was the one who was on Central's kill list, and he'd had to leave his family and life also. There was no way this adjustment could be some simple matter, yet the older man handled it gracefully. Because of this, Ichigo didn't want to burden him with what he thought were trifling issues. Byakuya had his own sadness and anxiety to bare in this situation and Ichigo didn't want to be another worry on that list. He wanted to be as strong as his lover, and he especially didn't want Byakuya thinking these new feelings were somehow because he wasn't happy with him or that he couldn't handle this. Nothing could be further from the truth. If he would ever allow his zanpakutou spirit to enter his thoughts freely, he'd get on him to talk to Byakuya and say it would make him feel a lot better, telling Ichigo he was being the same stubborn punk he always had. Still Ichigo didn't listen; he was determined to protect his family in his own way and stomp out these insistent negative feelings.

After Ichigo and Byakuya's quick tryst ended and Byakuya departed, Ichigo worked a bit on some blueprints before he had to pick Milly up from school. As per usual, when his thoughts were bombarded by a dreary cloud of melancholy, memories of his family broke through like rays of sun fighting against the darkness.

xXx

In the parking lot of some abandoned store, Ichigo's head went flying forward, only to be saved from the mercy of the dashboard by his seat belt. Looking over to his frustrated lover, he put on a smirk and mocked, "Out of all the things you've sucked at since we left home, this tops the list."

The raven-haired man had a ferociously tight grip on the steering wheel and donned a look of agitation. With a set jaw and slight roll of the eyes, Byakuya countered, "Well perhaps if I wasn't driving this-this- tank of yours, I wouldn't have such difficultly."

Turning to the back seat to make sure Milly hadn't flown forward from Byakuya's lead foot, Ichigo sneered, "Don't blame my girl for your crappy driving!" before giving a breathy chuckle.

Scoffing slightly, Byakuya muttered rather indifferently, "I'm merely trying to go back and forth to work, not infiltrate enemy combatants. This thing is quite too much for me to handle." After a transitory moment of glancing thoughtfully out the window, Byakuya suggested, "Perhaps I'll just take a bus."

After a burst of mocking laughter, Ichigo teased, "You? On public transportation? I give you ten minutes before I get a call from the police saying you assaulted a man."

"Let's be fair," Milly interrupted, "Dad could probably last fifteen minutes."

"I'm glad to see you both have such faith in me," Byakuya noted caustically.

Both Milly and Ichigo shared a snicker before Ichigo added, "You know you have a thing with germs, not to mention all those people. I know you don't have a lot of patience for obnoxious people."

Not missing a beat, Byakuya quipped dryly, "We'll I do spend my time with you, do I not?"

Ichigo gave a theatrically fake laugh, "Ha-Ha, very funny," before he turned more to his side to look at the man directly while playing with a strand of loose raven hair painting his face.

He sighed heavy before concluding, "I suppose it is rather pedestrian."

"And you work clear on the other side of town. Transportation isn't as reliable here."

Nodding his head and narrowing his eyes resolutely, the professor declared, "Right, I won't be beaten by a machine."

"Dad?" Milly chirped, "Could I learn to drive?"

Turning his head to give a disapproving glare, Byakuya replied, "Absolutely not, you can't even reach the pedals."

Jumping in her seat slightly, Milly countered wryly, "Yeah, but I could still probably drive better than you," to which Ichigo gave her a furtive high five, not trying to hide his bouts of laughter.

"Don't get smart with me," Byakuya reprimanded halfheartedly.

Putting a hand up to her mouth as she giggled, "So, are you saying you don't want me to be smart?"

Ichigo only laughed harder at his husband's slight scowl turning into a sigh of defeat. "I'm losing an argument to an eleven year old. How did this happen?"

Leaning in with a giant smirk, Ichigo pulled the man closer and kissed him briefly before saying, "Because she's just like me, that's why."

Byakuya chuckled before saying, "Dear Soul King, help me." He turned the ignition and looked into Ichigo's sweet eyes. "One more time, alright?"

Smiling supportively, Ichigo cajoled, "As many times as you need."

The supercilious man cocked his eyebrow and countered arrogantly, "This will only take one more time."

xXx

When it was time for Milly to get out of school, Ichigo made his way over to Catlin Gable private school, one of the many compromises Byakuya and Ichigo made concerning Milly. Ichigo didn't want to put too much pressure on her and thought that kids who go to public schools are not only opened to more 'real life' scenarios, but are able to more freely choose what they want without the pressure. Of course, Byakuya was concerned about Milly getting the best education and thought that could best be obtained through a strict setting. After mulling through a dozen or so private school pamphlets and visiting even more, they both compromised on this school. Another part of the compromise was that they wouldn't push Milly into a copious amount of extracurricular activities, but let her decide. Byakuya had been exposed to a vast amount of languages and instruments, along with archery and fencingat a very young age, but Ichigo thought Milly should be left the her own devices when it came to making such decisions. Though Byakuya didn't agree at first, as he often did, he conceded after some convincing and some seductive kissing from his lover.

Milly chose to play soccer, and because of her condition, Byakuya was not pleased, but after a lecture on how Milly deserved to live her life to the fullest and not be filled with regrets, he once again compromised. To be honest, Byakuya was over the moon to have Ichigo around to make these dictions. He was always able to help him realize when he was being too strict, just as he was able to help Ichigo realize when he was being too hands off. As new parents went, they were both pretty great. They stumbled through at times, but always with the other right there to lean on.

Of course, Milly took English classes, but that was only to help her adapt to living in a new country and help her make friends easier. If only she could pick up friends as easily as she was picking up English. Still, she seemed genuinely happy, and Ichigo had always known her to be a more demure girl anyway. She had always been a little different, even living in her home country, between her condition and her affinity for reading, the snot nose brats of the world just didn't understand her. Still, both Ichigo and Byakuya were sure that with time she would make friends and adjust to this new life.

Standing in front of the sumptuous school, his hands casually slung in his pockets, Ichigo couldn't get pass the notion he had forgotten something. He'd felt it all day, and it was now becoming a thought that was causing unsolicited anxiety. It felt like something rather important, but he just couldn't place it. Interrupting his plight was a halcyon Milly, her head full of tiny ringlet curls jolting in his direction. The jaunty girl bounced back and forth on her heels in front of him with a bright smile. "Hey Dad."

Ichigo's insouciance melted into a half smile at the title. "Hey Kid," he greeted, ruffling her curls. "You ready?"

"Actually," she chirped, grabbing his wrist, "My teacher would like to speak to you. I told her one of my dads was picking me up today, and ya' know, no time like the present."

Narrowing his eyes at the girl, he asked, "What did you do? You didn't try to release your class lizard back into the wild again, did you?" He cringed, " Look, I get it, but yo-"

"No, no, I'm not allowed alone with Big Red anymore." She hung her head slightly. "I'm not sure what she wants, she didn't tell me, but I swear I didn't do anything!" she pleaded.

Smiling at the girl and slinging an arm around her shoulder, he said, "Alright, alright, I believe ya', lead the way." As they walked, he noticed other parents giving him snide looks, addled by confusion at his age. They must have heard Milly call him her dad, and since Ichigo looked much more like her brother than her guardian, they were throwing judgmental eyes his way. He just scowled and kept a tight arm snug around his daughter all the way to her class room.

The pair walked into the classroom, catching the attention of the middle-aged teacher eyeing her computer at the front of the class. Looking over her dark-rimmed glasses, she gave the pair a surprised glare as she stood from her desk to greet them. Her wasp-esque hair style practically bounced as she sauntered over to the two with her glossed lips morphed into a theatrically big smile.

Placing out a hand for the man, she greeted, "Hello, I'm Milly's science teacher, Ms. Patterson, and who might you be?"

Ichigo accepted the hand, giving it a lackluster shake while trying to muster up a genuine smile. "I'm Milly's father, Ichigo Tanako."

Giving him a dubious glare while giggling slightly, she patronized, "You mean you're her brother, of course?"

Ichigo tightened his jaw and gave an inward sigh. He had no patience for people's assumptions today. That was another symptom of this affliction: he felt like a moody teenager, sad, unmotivated, and ill tempered. However, he reminded himself that he was standing here in a teacher's classroom about to have a talk about his daughter- he was definitely an adult, and being an adult meant putting your own shit aside and taking someone else's.

With a fraudulent smile and a contained irritation, Ichigo corrected, "No, I'm her father. Well, technically I'm married to her adopted father, Byakuya Tanako. We raise her together."

Raising her perfectly penciled eyebrows in surprise, her eyes gaped as she gave an evocative look. "Ah, I see." Gesturing a hand to the seats in front of her desk, she said, "Please, have a seat."

Ichigo didn't like the patronizing tone of her voice nor the judgment in her eyes, but still he bit back his comments while taking a seat.

Intertwining her fingers in front of her, she looked at Milly and suggested, "Why don't you go wait in the student lounging area while me and your dad talk."

Holding up a dismissive hand, not holding back his indignant glare, he responded, "No, Milly will stay. Anything you have to say about her can be said in front of her."

At the challenging glare of honey orbs, she gave a relinquished sigh as she widened her grin. "Well alright. Mr. Tanako, I'm sure you're aware that there is a parent-teacher conference tomorrow." She gave Ichigo a brief moment to nod before continuing, "We're recommending that certain parents sit down with a counselor at the conference, and after discussion with Milly's other teachers, we've decided that such a meeting would be beneficial for her continued future at Catlin Gable."

His confused eyes vacillated between his daughter and Ms. Paterson a couple of times before he pondered, "Okay, but why exactly?"

The only thing more preppy than her argyle sweater was her voice of condescension as she responded, "You see, Milly's been exhibiting…" She paused just slightly, "What's the right word, odd behavior? And we've been concerned about her. She seems to be having a difficult time adapting to her peers. Her trying to release our class pet aside, she chooses to not interact with other students, to work alone on projects, and often rather read than socialize with anyone. We understand Milly's gifted, but she uses that as a reason to ostracize herself and, as I see it, look down on her classmates."

"But Ms. Paterson," Milly's urgent voice rang as her slumped temperament became alert. "I don't work with the other kids because they think I'm weird and don't want to talk to me! They even make fun of me," she pleaded, crossing her tiny arms in frustration. "Of course I act like I'm better than them, because I am! Anyone who makes fun of anyone is scum."

Ms. Paterson gave a disparaging glare as she sighed, "Now Milly, the students are just new to you. If you only tried to relate to them, then-"

Scoffing slightly, Ichigo interrupted her concerns with a disapproving shake of the head. "Let me get this straight? You're telling me that these kids make fun of Milly, and that somehow she's to blame? She's done everything possible to adjust to these customs, yet she's the one who needs to try to relate? How exactly is that fair?" he bit back a harsher tone at the woman's criticism. "She's left her home country, learned a new language, and not to mention, she's in remission! Of course she's having trouble adjusting if she's not being welcomed by her peers."

"Mr. Tanako," She gave a placating smile, "Most students at least care to try to fit in with their peers. Your daughter actively avoids her peers and exhibits odd antisocial behavior. We're merely concerned about her-"

"Antisocial behavior?" he barked indigently, now donning a full on scowl. "You talk about her like being shy and liking books is some kind of disease," he scoffed before continuing, "And you know what? What's so wrong with that? You shouldn't be teaching kids they need to change themselves to make friends." He glanced over at his daughter's crestfallen face and gave her an encouraging smile. "There will be plenty of people who will see Milly for the awesome person she is, just the way she is. Milly's nice to everyone. If those kids turned her away that's not her fault," he concluded with a huff, his fervent voice losing some of its heat.

Pursing her lips, the teacher nodded her head slightly, signifying she understood. "Well, either way, we would like her father to come in and talk to the councilor."

Ichigo's irate eyes gaped and his fist clenched before he snapped rather rudely, "Hey, lady, are you deaf? This is the third time I've told you, I'm her father."

Smirking at the man and batting her fake lashes, she didn't even try to hide her mocking tone, "Still, a lot of students like Milly are experiencing some issues at home. We'd like to speak to Byakuya, just to cover our bases."

Sneering at the women, he got to his feet swiftly and turned to Milly, "Come on, Milly, let's get out of here. I've heard enough of this."

The little girl stuck her tongue out at her teacher who retuned the gesture with a scowl. Turning up her nose, she jumped out the chair and followed behind her steamed guardian who was now bulldozing out of the room indignantly.

His murmurs of frustration could be heard as he grabbed her frail hand and walked her down the stairs and across the street. "You don't listen to them, Milly, they're just dumb."

"I know that, Dad. I have made a friend. He's on the soccer team," Milly muttered out, being dragged hastily across a parking lot.

Ichigo smiled in approval as he opened the car door, veiling his frantic frustration. Though he drove in silence, he felt that new and unsolicited anxiety fill him once more. It irked him because even though he knew that teacher was full of shit, it still somehow got under his skin. Had there been problems at home? Was he just not seeing it? And why wasn't Milly telling him about her difficulty with making friends? Because he understood the tribulations of being a new parent and fully grasped he wouldn't be perfect, this only riddled his mind with his own shortcomings, filling him with doubts of his abilities.

It wasn't unusual for the reaper to become irate and indignant, especially when he was passionate about something, but these feelings of deep seeded anxiety were all too new and unfamiliar, all accumulating into a weight bearing down on his chest, constraining his breaths. What was happening to him, what was this feeling of dread that seemed only stimulated by his frantic sharp breaths? Ichigo tried to focus all of his attention on driving while he ignored his heart beating out of its cavity and his proverbial train of thought derailing. Somehow, thoughts of frustration had turned into fears that he wasn't doing his one job correctly: protecting his daughter. Despite comprehending that these thoughts were irrational and fear based, they were as uncontrollable as his steadily rising heartbeat. All he could manage was to not completely lose his dignity and composure in front of Milly as he pulled into the driveway of their home, avoiding her concerned looks.

Then it hit him, the important thing that had slipped his mind. Today was his sister's birthday. Though the thought granted him an ephemeral moment of relief, it just as suddenly stabbed him with the sharp realization that this was the first year since their births that he hadn't been there for this. After all those years spent of being an absentee brother, there physically, but always mentally somewhere else, Ichigo had finally rekindled and repaired that relationship. Under the influence of his already pounding heart rate, this only added to the flood of panic stricken thoughts flying around Ichigo's brain. As if the realization of just how much he missed his family, how much it terrified him not being there to protect them, and how doubtful he was in his ability to keep Byakuya and Milly safe and happy, hit him, and all of the composure and fortitude he built up seemed to come crumbling down. These illusions, like shadow puppets on a wall, dissipated in the darkness. He couldn't deny that he was losing his grip, feeling completely solitary and weakened in the light of his fragility. It was as if his body was having a psychosomatic reaction to these panicked thoughts, and this in and of itself was what pushed him over the edge. This feeling was completely out of his hands; it was his heart that booming uncontrollably, it was his hands that were aquiver, and it was he who was unable to keep it together for his family. Try as he might, his body just wasn't letting him forget this.

Milly kept giving him concerned glances as Ichigo jumped out of the car and took frenzied strides towards the door. When she voiced her worry, Ichigo stated through sharp huffs, "I'm fine, just not feeling good. Please, go to your room for a while," he urged, keeping his tear-filled eyes averted as he now started gasping slightly for breath. He didn't want Milly to see him in this way. After a few more worried glares, she simply did as he said and resigned to her room.

With this, Ichigo barged into the bathroom, his body finally feeling the alertness to its fullest, forbearing all reservations. He slid down against the door, begging his soul for an answer to the questions that addled him. Why was this happening? He loved Byakuya and Milly, he was happy with them, he knew that to be a fact. More so, he knew that the two were doing their best as parents and that his friends and family were all probably okay, safe without him. So why, even with this self-awareness, was he having such an involuntary reaction? Here he was, gasping on the floor, feeling about two stifled breaths away from a heart attack, with silent tepid tears trailing down his trembling features. More horrifying, he had almost subjected Milly to such a scene. Ichigo didn't want either Byakuya or Milly to see him this way. It was his greatest wish to protect them, and for them to see him in such a miserable state - the last bit of his sanity dangling on a gossamer string - it would just break him. Because it wasn't them. It wasn't anything, and yet at the same time, it was everything. Ichigo didn't know why he felt such an abject sadness, all he knew was that he wanted it to end, and he wanted it to end now.

'Is this what they call a panic attack?' he cringed inwardly, his hand clutched to his chest as he lowered his head in-between his bent knees. "Shit… shit… shit," he cursed, trying to somehow focus on anything but his frantic breath, for trying to steady his breathing only seemed to amplify the stress.

Giving a somewhat devious chuckle, the sprit invaded Ichigo's mind,'It's called depression and anxiety, you moron. I'm a zanpakutou spirit and I can even figure out that much.'

Groaning between huffs, Ichigo managed to push out, "Not now, Zangetsu."

Ichigo had long ago taken to calling both of his spirits Zangetsu. It only seemed right since, in a way, they both were. Somehow they could always differentiate which one he was speaking of. Perhaps it was the tonality of his voice when he spoke to them. Either way, Ichigo rarely let his zanpakutou so freely into his own thoughts, not since he'd learned how to control such a thing. Yet, in his dolor, his guard was down and it was inevitable. Ever since the two Zangestu had merged, the Soul Reaper Zangetsu had grown slightly more docile, now instead of representing Ichigo's dark side, he carried a loyalty to his master and became a much truer representation of Ichigo's soul. Though Soul Reaper Zangetsu was an overly energetic, arrogant, loud mouth, wild child, more than anyone, he chided Ichigo for not being open with his own feelings. He reprimanded him for not talking to Byakuya. It was odd really, for his zanpakutou spirit seemed just as enamored by Byakuya as he was, and it was quite the oddity for the vivacious being to be subdued by anyone's presence. Yet, because he was born of Ichigo's soul, and he felt an ineffable connection to Byakuya, it wasn't that odd that Zangetsu felt that same connection to his crux.

More so, from previous experience, both Soul Reaper Zangetsu and Quincy Zangetsu understood how easily turmoil could degrade his inner world, causing the wind of doubt to brew a storm of impervious rain. With doubt and self-neglect causing an unbalance in his world, everything around him was effected. So when Zangetsu scolded his behavior, he would tell him it was his inability to speak up that made him weak, not these unexplainable feelings. That ignoring them and letting them fester would only cause damage.

"If you feel weak, it's your own fault! I tooold you to talk about this; he's your fucking life partner, ain't he?'The spirit continued to ramble as he usually would, 'Yeah, just keep ignoring it, big guy. You look so tough down there on the floor.' Giving something in between his habitual maniacal laugh and a groan, he concluded, 'Do I need to bring the Quincy-fuck out here?'

Ichigo continued to ignore the headache inducing tangent of his zanpakutou, only continuing to heave harder as his breath continued to increase.

Zangetsu could feel Ichigo's body trembling and losing control. At the sight, he did the only thing he could think of. He did the only thing that he knew could truly calm Ichigo down.

Somehow, in the pandemonium that was his mind, maneuvering past a dozen intermingled thoughts of panic and a copious amount of emotion, was a singular memory. The world around him seemed to turn off, as now thoughts of his family became the cynosure of his mind.

xXx

A lethargic and disheveled Ichigo rolled out of bed and went to the kitchen in search of coffee. There he found Byakuya standing rather begrudgingly in front of something that looked like a pile of defeated gift wrap. When he threw a dubious glare between his husband and the papier-mâché calamity, Byakuya said rather indifferently, "Well, how is it?"

His eye gaped slightly as he pondered a repose. "Uhhh-" He cocked an eyebrow at Byakuya. "What is it, exactly?"

Byakuya huffed and turned up his nose. Putting on airs, he said, "It's one of Milly's birthday gifts, of course. I wrapped it."

Before taking a sip of his coffee, Ichigo chuckled slightly and quipped, "It looks more like you attacked it with wrapping paper."

Narrowing his eyes at Ichigo, he replied caustically, "Excuse me if my skills do not exceed your standards, Mr. Artist."

Ichigo snorted slightly, thinking Byakuya's defensive and prideful nature was utterly endearing. It just showed Ichigo how important it was to the man. Kissing his lover's cheek briefly, Ichigo put a sympathetic hand in the dip of his back. "You don't need an art degree to wrap a present, just someone to show you how to do it."

The onyx-haired man put on an earnest yet soft smile, and his eyes gleamed in a way that they only did for Ichigo. "Please, I need your expertise."

Returning the smile, Ichigo moved to the poorly wrapped gift and discarded the unsalvageable paper with a smirk. "That's done for," he remarked, now grabbing some scissors and fresh paper. Looking over his shoulder, he declared, "Watch how I do it, so you can do the next one."

With that, Byakuya moved rather close to Ichigo, watching over his shoulder while letting his tepid breath tickle the back of the reaper's neck. Watching as Ichigo dexterously wrapped the present, explaining each step to him, he complimented, "You're rather good at this. You humans have such an odd array of skills."

Ichigo smirked inwardly. He sometimes forgot how unaccustomed Byakuya was to worldly traditions, but the adorable part was just how much he wanted to learn them, if only to be a better father and husband.

Casually shrugging his shoulders, Ichigo said, "It's something I've done since I was a kid." A smile could be heard in his voice as he continued to work on the present. "My mom and I use to wrap my sisters presents for them. It was like a tradition, something we'd do with just the two of us." Placing the last piece of tape on the present, he continued, "After she passed, my dad tried to keep it going for a long time. Still, it wasn't quite the same."

Ichigo turned to meet Byakuya's cool pools of gray as he leaned against the counter, picking up the cup of coffee he had set down. With a halfhearted smile, Byakuya replied, "That sounds like a lovely tradition. In our house hold, all presents were wrapped by servants, so I've never experienced such a thing- hence my lackluster gift wrapping skills."

Sitting down his cup of coffee, Ichigo ran his hand down Byakuya's arm until he got to his hand, entwining their lithe fingers. "Well now it's our tradition," he spoke warmly, pulling the man a little closer.

Feeling exuberant with warmness at such a simple notion, Byakuya said with a smirk, "I suppose it is," before he brushed Ichigo's lips with his own.

Through warm deep intermingling tongues, Ichigo muttered, "You ready to try and wrap one yourself, or what?"

Lifting the younger man onto the counter and forcing Ichigo's legs around his waist, he growled, "Or what."

xXx

When Ichigo opened his eyes, the air had lost its chaotic energy. No longer were there loud pants of panic, but the soft thumping of his calmed heart. The memory has brought about a calming effect, giving equilibrium to his frenzied mind.

After a brief moment of enjoying the silence, Ichigo asked out loud, "Did you bring about that memory?"

"OF COURSE!" Zangetsu bellowed, "It's the only thing that I know will calm you, so you're welcome, dumbass.'

Though he wanted to be offended, Ichigo just didn't have it in him. If anything, he was grateful. "Thank you," he murmured.

"You can thank me by talking to Byakuya. It was like a fucking tsunami in your inner world. I don't want to deal with that again.'

Rolling his eye and setting his jaw, Ichigo leaned his head back against the bathroom door in frustration. "How many times do I have to tell you, Zangetsu, leave it," he grunted out, his voice dangerously close to snapping.

'Not happening, tough guy. Always going on and on, protect this, protect that. You ain't protecting shit crying on the bathroom floor, which is what's going to keep happening if you don't say something about-"

"Say what?!" Ichigo snapped, "Tell Byakuya that I'm lonely with him gone all the time, like he isn't doing this for Milly and me, like this is something he wants? Should I tell him that I miss my friends and family, that I miss not even being able to talk to them? Like he doesn't know or doesn't miss them too? No, he's given up his title, his duties, and his family, just like me. I'm here to help protect them, not burden them. How can I expect him to understand something that I don't even comprehend?" He cringed slightly, "I won't let them think that I don't want to be here or that I can't deal with this. I won't put that additional weight on Byakuya's shoulders."

"Fool," Zangetsu chided. His usually wicked temperament was oddly somber. "When will you learn that trying to protect things by yourself only makes you weaker? Did you ever stop to think that holding such a burden alone is only making your turmoil worse? Talking about it is the cure. All of this can go away real easily if you'd just put aside your dumb pride and admit ya' need help."

Shaking his head in dismissal while standing up from the floor, Ichigo said, "Just shut it, I got things I have to do."

xXx

Worried about her dad, Milly cracked open her door and tip toed to the bathroom. When she put her ear up to the door, all she heard was the nonsensical sound of muffled pants and tears. The sound made her creep back from the door slowly and put on a giant frown before she returned to her room.

Being as young as she was, she didn't completely comprehend what was going on with her dad, though she did comprehend that this seemed to be a result of what happened at her school. She tried not to think about it often, but she knew Ichigo well before he'd become her adopted father. She knew how young he was and more so, she knew that this had never been his plan. It didn't escape her that he probably wasn't used to this whole dad thing, but she had always thought that this was exactly where Ichigo wanted to be, despite the challenges it brought.

Though when she heard his attack though the bathroom door, she couldn't help but wonder if she had been wrong. She had made Ichigo feel this way; the overwhelming stress had suddenly hit him and he'd realized that this wasn't something he wanted, at least that's what Milly took it as.

At the revelation, Milly sulked in her room, now filled with a mixture of fear and sadness.

She thought to herself, 'Ichi isn't happy, he doesn't want to be with me anymore.'