White Camellia -

Longing/Waiting for someone

(¯`·._ (¯`·._ _.·´¯)_.·´¯) ✾ (¯`·._ (¯`·._ _.·´¯)_.·´¯)

"Sometimes, you find yourself in the middle of nowhere and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself."

When you live forever, time is difficult to measure. There are mornings, noons, nights and most of the time they are not in that order. The young spirit wanders, not heading in any particular direction or towards any goal. He has no meaning, no light to his life anymore but he was stuck, unable to continue on. He was forgotten about as soon as someone saw him, passing through thoughts like a whisper on the breeze.

He is aware of his surroundings changing around him though. The spirit world is random, often changing when there is no need to. Deserts turn to oceans, oceans turn to meadows and sunsets can lasts for weeks. Time and environment mean nothing to spirits. The randomness of their homes offer a little excitement to their dull lives.

He began to detect a pattern though. Somehow, at an unknown point, he had wandered into the world of the living. Seasons were in order. Time had a pattern. Everything seemed scheduled and that thought made something inside him twist uncomfortably. He has no home, no place to stay but he did not want to be here either.

The mortal realm was often dangerous for spirits. The nature of their set world and odd customs twisted a spirit's mind. Mortal creatures of all species feared them too, treating them with hostility and fear. For Kaonashi, a faceless spirit, he was in even more danger than others.

Humans were fickle creatures. He could feel all their emotions as it was his nature to adapt and reflect them back. They were always so dark, so greedy and selfish. Much like the frog he had the misfortune of consuming once. His body and mind was not created for so much dark exposure. He had been told stories of others of his kind going crazy, consumed by rage and greed from being around humans for too long.

Kaonashi had only met one human with a good heart and a bright soul but she was gone now, taken away by a dragon.

It was inevitable. He soon began to hunger. He craved to consume but he could not find a way home. When had he even crossed the border between the two lands? That troubling question did not matter much to him at the moment because if he could not find a way back to the spirit world, he would have no choice but to feed off of human food. It would not be as satisfying as his realm's delicacies but he had no choice. He was incapable of starving himself. If he even tried his body would force him to consume everything in his path, even the nasty mortals.

So instead of staying cleverly hidden, he let his shadowy form be seen. He now ghosted from place to place, leaving footprints as proof of his presence. The trees all appeared the same to him with none of them bearing any food. Fruits and vegetables could not be found in this land and even if they were, he was unable to pick them with his intangible body. He would need offerings.

Afternoon became night, night yielded to morning and the cycle repeated several times. He continued to wander, noticing the trees were growing thinner and in the distance, his superior hearing could pick up the sound of humans. His emotions raged with themselves as he remembered the last time he had been exposed to greed and hatred, an emotion that the humans would no doubt have.

He hungered too greatly to be cautious for long.

He forced his way forward until a silhouette of his body could be seen, shimming between two large trees. The floor beneath him was dotted with white camellia flowers, which contrasted brightly against his own dark form. He chose to wait, watching the small village from a safe distance. In the evening shadows, he blended and at night, the darkness consumed him and made him invisible. It was not until the next morning that his presence was noticed.

He watched as the young girl trotted towards him. He had only seen one human this small before and they were vastly different in appearance. This one had long black hair that tumbled down her back and large brown eyes that were fearful. Why did she watch him so carefully? Did she want something?

He had nothing to give her. His offerings were stronger in the spirit world, not here where mortality reigned. So he stood still, watching her as her fear grew by the second. Tears welled up in her eyes and he could feel her emotions. As she let out a cry and took off for the village, he also grew fearful. He had nothing to be afraid of, confident that the humans could not harm him but the girl's fear was contagious.

So he was weary when the girl soon returned, tugging along an older human behind her. This one smelt of death and herbs, a scent that made his unease grow. He shifted shyly, making a noise of discomfort. The pair stopped a fair distance from him, examining him as he examined them. Despite her odd smell, the spirit decided he liked the woman clothed in red and white better. Her emotions were more stable, without an ounce of fear or greed. He could only detect curiosity and caution from her.

"Why are ye here, spirit?" The older one questioned.

He made another noise of discomfort, unable to speak. He does not remember a time when he could speak. He had a mouth, a tongue and teeth like the humans but he was never able to replicate their speech without a live creature rolling around inside him.

"Do ye mean us harm?"

He was silent. He does not mean anyone harm but he hungers. He craves and being around humans were always a risk for him. He could not promise that no harm would come to them even if that was not his intention.

The older woman hobbled closer and it was then he noticed the odd mask that only covered one eye. Did she not know how to make a real mask? His own mask was carved from bone and painted from fruits of the spirit world. Maybe he could offer her one in return for her help since all humans were weak to greed.

He flinched when the child grew more afraid. For one so small, her emotions were strong. The old woman noticed the action and her good eye flickered to the girl behind her. He too watched the girl, wondering how humans could have so many conflicting emotions inside them at once. As someone who could mainly reflect, his body wanted to repel the onslaught of new feelings.

"Child, go and bring me Lady Kagome." The old one spoke quietly and the child quickly obeyed.

So, another game of waiting was started. He moved his gaze so he could watch the elder and the elder watched him. He liked her. Her emotions were senere and had a calming effect on him after his exposure to the child. He dipped his head in thanks, unsure how else to express his gratitude.

He wasn't sure if it was minutes or seconds that went by but some time had passed before a new figure could be seen in the distance. She was racing forward, a young woman who seemed joyful even from a distance. She skidded to a stop just next to the old woman and her emotions and scent finally reached him.

She smelled so sweet. Stronger than the peaches in his land and sweeter than the candy they served. There was also an underlying scent of something indescribable, something that could only be called, pure.

If he thought he was hungry before, he was wrong. He was famished now, his thoughts focused on the woman in front of her. The pull was so strong and sudden that he wasn't even sure what he craved. Did he wish to consume her physically? Did he want her aura? Or her emotions forever trapped within him, all his and his alone? He wasn't sure but he knew he needed her.

"Hello," she spoke kindly, acknowledging him as an equal.

He made joyful sound, like the whining of a pet who was excited to see his master again. He took a step forward unwillingly, and he was filled with a shot of fear from the young one and a stab of concern from the old one. He took the same step back, staying between his sanctuary of the trees and the flowers.

"He does not speak," the old woman explained.

"What does he want?" It was cute how she thought she was being sly by whispering but he could hear everything.

"I know not."

You. I want you, now.

"He's a spirit right?" The old woman hummed in agreement. "Have you tried giving him an offering?"

So sweet and kind. Thinking of me. Giving an offering to me.

He would have to give something back. That was the way it was done with his kind. An offering for an offering. But what could he give to her when he was trapped in this land? He was without gold, he had no food inside him and his precious items were not available here either.

"I shall gather something for him." He watched as the old woman turned her back and wobbled back to the village, the little girl following close behind her. He could now catch a tendril of some unnamed emotion, something darker, now lurking in her. It was the same emotion an animal preserving his life would have had.

So the old one was afraid, just better at hiding it.

"Guess that leaves just us," the young woman murmured.

He liked the thought of them being alone. He floated forward a few steps, only pausing when the young woman took a step back. They were closer than before but not as close as he would like to be. He still stopped, not wanting to feel such a sour emotion from her.

After a few seconds, she relaxed and her emotions were back to being pure. He felt more comfortable around her and he made a small moan of happiness. The woman blushed at the sound and her emotions turned bashful. He couldn't help the excited wiggle he gave at the touch of such pure, unique emotions.

"Do you have a name?" He watched as she took a seat on the floor, folding her swan-like legs gracefully.

He had only felt lust one time in his life. During that time, a living creature had been inside him, corrupting his insides and fueling his emotions. As he was now, he had no need for lust. Spirits like him were rare and if they did travel together, it was for companionship instead of procreation. Lust was a human emotion and had no reason to live inside him.

However, he remembers how lust felt and what those males had searched for. He had no doubt that this woman before him would be an object to be lusted after. She had appealing curves and her hair flowed beautifully in the playful wind. Her eyes were a memorizing blue, like the waters that use to surround the bath house. She appeared almost holy, sitting on the land with the white flowers kissing her gently. No, he felt no lust but there was an emotion stirring inside him, one that didn't come to her and must belong to him. How unusual.

She must have taken his silence as an answer as she continued to talk, her unease loosening her tongue. "Well my name is Kagome."

Kagome. When was the last time he had learned a name? He remembered a young girl, a sweet one who refused his offerings. The same one who had roused his interest and brought him curiosity after years of a dull time. She was a good girl before she disappeared.

"It feels awkward not knowing your name." His head tilted to the head, just enjoying the sound of her voice. "Can I give you a nickname?"

He made another noise of encouragement.

"Do you have an idea of what you like? Maybe something you favor?"

He considered the question. He was not vain. He hungered but his stomach did not grumble and he could not starve. His body was nearly nondescript, as he was just a pillow of darkness with a mask. Yet, a name lingered on his tongue. A name given to him a long time ago that he wanted to tell her but all he could do was make a faint whimpering sound.

"What do you look like under the mask?" Kagome was persistent.

An arm materialized from his body and he reached up to touch his mask. What did he look like under the mask? Not even he knew anymore. The mask was his face and anything underneath no longer mattered. He formed long tendrils that resembled a hybrid between talons and fingers so he could pulled the mask up to show that there was nothing underneath. There was no face, he was just a figure with a bone mask.

If she was frightened, he couldn't feel it. Instead she gave him a kind smile, one that spoke of understanding and sweetness. Unseen to her human eyes, he inched closer, wanting to be just one step closer to her.

"Nothing huh." Kagome leaned forward to cup her chin in the palm of her hand and he pulled his mask back down. "How about Kaonashi, then?"

Kaonashi. Koa-Nashi. No-Face. Yes, this name was familiar to him. Memories danced in the back of his mind but he was unable to grasp it, as it floated like a cloud of steam. He liked it and the noises he made, along with his bobbing head, conveyed his happiness to her.

Kagome giggled lightly. "Well, it's nice to meet you Kaonashi."

(¯`·._ (¯`·._ _.·´¯)_.·´¯)

Kagome did not linger long. As soon as the old woman came back with a bowl of steaming food, Kaonashi was reminded of his hunger and his playful attitude turned stoic. Bowls of food were offered to him, coming in a variety of colors and shapes. Physically, he had no nose so he could not smell the food but it looked delicious, even for a spirit's standard. So he changed focus, momentarily forgetting about Kagome and turned to the food that old woman was offering to him.

Once his attention was removed though, Kagome took this as permission to leave his sights. Kaonashi was not sure if he was relieved or upset at her absence. With her gone, the powerful emotions left with her, leaving him his normal passive self. His mind rebelled at this thought though as his very center was now craving her unique taste of emotions again.

He consumed the food with little thought. The hunger that had gnawed on his insides was docile once again and he could feel the food resting inside his body. His spirit was rolling the food around inside, feeling the texture and weight but not consuming it. His body would hold onto it, letting it slowly sustain him throughout his time in the mortal world. On the mortal plane, he was unsure when his next offering would be and his subconscious knew this.

When he was finished, he finally noticed that the sky had fallen black once again. The old woman from before was gone and the only proof of her existence was the empty bowls she had left behind. He could leave now if he wanted but something kept him in place.

He had to make an offering back.

So he waited. Two more mornings had to pass before the young girl who originally spotted him came back. She was shy, edging closer to him despite fear filling each footstep she took. Kaonashi did not move, staying as still as the trees that flanked him.

"Lady Kagome says you are kind," her little voice traveled on the wind. "Lady Kaeda said you should be gone by now. Why are you still here?"

Silence was her answer.

"Do you want something from the village?"

Kagome. Kaonashi tried to convey the name through his eager, wordless sounds.

"I can fetch Lady Kagome for you, if you want."

Kaonashi bobbed his head up and down.

A short amount of time later and the little human came stumbling back, tightly holding onto the hand of the young miko. Kagome looked surprised to see him again but Kaonashi was unsure if this was a good surprise or a bad surprise. Humans were sometimes difficult for him to understand. His head tilted to the side as he watched the young girl quickly disappear once the miko had let go of her tiny hand.

"Hello again."

Kaonashi grunted in greeting.

"I wasn't aware that you were still here," Kagome took several steps forward while he stood as still as a shadow. "Do you need something? Or want something?"

In response Kaonashi held out his hands, cupping them together so he could fill both palms. Before her very eyes a mountain of rice grew until it was a small pile and a few pieces fell to the floor. He liked the look of unexpected surprise in her eyes and the way her aura seemed even sweeter at his display. He made another humming noise and moved his cupped hands towards her.

She didn't move to accept his offering though. The human girl, Kagome, just shook her head and took a step back. It reminded Kaonashi of a scene he had experience long ago and the similarity of the situation frustrated him. He made another incessant noise and crept closer, trying to communicate with Kagome without any words.

"No thank you," her reject was sweet even though her actions speared him. His body contorted slightly in discomfort. "I don't want any."

"Ah, ah."

"No," she repeated sternly.

Why? Kaonashi could not understand. Did she not like his offering? Despite her pure aura, was she greedy and looking for a specific offering? In the midst of his dismay, the grains of rice began to bleed through his hands, falling and clattering to the floor.

'Why?'

He just stood there, unsure what to do now. He had to return the offering. It was similar to instincts in his kind. An offering was made to him and he had to return it. The thought of just walking away never even occurred to him. While Kaonashi was preoccupied with his tangled thoughts, Kagome took his silence and stillness as a dismissal and she disappeared back to her village.

He could wait. Kaonashi would not leave until she accepted one of his offerings.

(¯`·._ (¯`·._ _.·´¯)_.·´¯)

She did not come back to him. Kaonashi waited patiently for her but three mortal days passed and he could not even detect her aura nearby. Not even the little human girl that feared him but was curious of his presence made herself known. He grew worried the longer they stayed away. He was not used to being alone as one was never truly alone in the spirit world. It was too full and always bustling with activity so no one ever found peace there.

When the night fell on the fourth day, he could wait no longer. His form was shimmering with anxiety, sometimes becoming transparent for a few moments. Wordless sounds of worry were escaping him as he finally left the sanctuary of his trees. He continued along the path that Kagome and the child had taken before, which lead him to the heart of the village.

He passed by many mortals but it was not often that they saw him. His flickering form made it hard for others to see him when he was surrounded by the darkness of night. It helped that most of the villagers were asleep, hiding away in the homes that protected them from the outside world.

He followed the pull of purity, as he had already memorized the taste and feel of her aura. He found her place of dwelling within the heart of the small village. She, unlike the others around her, was awake and her bright blue eyes had immediately spotted him in the doorway, cautiously peering in.

"Hello again," she did not get up from the spot where she was kneeling. Laying before her, like a forgotten sacrifice, was the small child who was always afraid of him.

The tiny human was injured. He could see blood seeping into the bandages wrapped around her naked chest, the white cloth quickly turning red. Her breath rattled in her chest like brittle bones and her skin was pale, very different from her usual warm complexion.

He knew what death looked like when it was preying on humans and this little girl was caught in Death's grip.

Kagome reached out a cloth and wiped the sweat off the child's head. The little girl murmured quietly, her mind already slipping to the other side. The miko was trying hard to ease her pain but Kaonashi knew it was useless. He kept his distance from the couple but even lingering in the doorway, he could feel Kagome's distress and the girl's fear.

"Can you help her?" The miko's soft voice reached him.

"Ah." 'No.'

Silence rang over the area as the priestess took care of the girl and the spirit watched the miko. There wasn't much that either could do to save the small human but Kagome desperately tried. She stayed awake all night, working hard to keep the injured girl's spirit in the mortal plane. Kaonashi stayed with her but he was not even sure if Kagome remembered he was there, lingering in the doorway.

When the birds started to sing to the rising sun, the priestess' efforts were proven to be useless. He watched as the little girl reached out a weak hand to grip the healer, giving her hand a hard squeeze, before letting it fall limp to the floor. His supernatural eyes watched as her young spirit emerged from her mortal shell, free of pain and smiling gratefully to the miko, before chasing an unseen light to the other side.

"Ah," Kaonashi turned his head to follow the spirit's journey, hoping to see a way back to his own world but whatever the girl's spirit was following, was not visible to his own eyes and unless the spirit invited Kaonashi to follow, he was unable to access the small doorway that opened between the two worlds.

"Can you see her?" Kagome asked curiously.

Kaonashi hummed and bobbed his head up and down. 'Yes.'

"Was she . . . happy?"

Another head nod.

"I'm glad," her sweet voice wavered and he could feel her emotions turning sorrowful. "It was an accident. She spooked one of the horse and it kicked her." Kaonashi turned his face back to her as she told her tale. "I couldn't heal the wound and I know there was something wrong on the inside of her body. I just . . . I failed her." Tears were now streaming down from her eyes. "I couldn't save her."

'Her spirit was ready to leave. She was destined to die young.' Kaonashi tried to convey his word through his wordless noises but Kagome was unable to understand him. She did try to give him a watery smile, her lips trembling with the effort but her tears would not stop flowing.

He didn't think about his actions. He moved closer into the small house, intending on comforting the priestess. He had vague memories of doing the same for a young girl, a girl who cried so much over a missing dragon and he knew that physical contact helped humans. His close proximity to the woman made him mournful even though he did not know the girl who had died.

He reached out a ghostly limb, intending on offering his touch to soothe Kagome's sadness but before he could touch her, she hunched in on herself and cried into her palms. The action stung Kaonashi more than she knew. She had once again, rejected his offering.

"Ah," Kaonashi let his limb fade back into his main body and he just stood there. Unsure what to do after being rejected but not wanting to leave Kagome alone.

He stood guard over her as she mourned for the dead girl.

(¯`·._ (¯`·._ _.·´¯)_.·´¯)

The villagers were not kind to the faceless spirit. They were not physically harmful to him but they voiced their displeasure loudly. They did not trust him. They feared him. They blamed all their bad luck on the visiting spirit. They blamed everything from a pet dog growling at them to the crops dying on the faceless spirit. No, they were not physically mean to him but their emotions were destructive enough since he felt them and would reflect the stronger ones.

So Kaonashi chose to spend most of his time lingering on the edge of the village. Sometimes at night, under the cloak of the stars, he could walk the paths made by men and visit the priestess' home. She would wait for him, sensing his presence long before he actually reached her threshold. When he would peek inside, his white mask reflecting the moonlight, she would greet him with a smile shadowed with exhaustion.

She never sent him away or questioned while he was still there. Sometimes she would leave food out for him, sharing her meager meals with him but she never accepted his offerings back. It was a frustrating cycle, one that bred feelings of exasperation and anger into Kaonashi. Did she not understand that he could not leave until he returned her offering? Did she know about his kind and just wanted to keep him close by?

He had so many questions but no answers. Restricted to only wordless sounds, communication was nearly impossible between the two. Still, they spent time together. Kaonashi had nothing else to do and nobody else wanted to be near him. From his observations, Kagome was just as alone as he was. There was nobody dear and personal to her in the village, just the whiny, sickly humans who would come to her when they needed help. She lived alone and her hut was normally empty unless he was visiting her.

Over time, she opened up to him. She would tell him tales of adventures, journeys, and secrets that he doubt others would know. Not even he knew if it was because she trusted him or because she knew he could not repeat her words. Some of them were so precious to her, he could feel how attached she was to those memories. He found himself unsure if he should count them as another an offering or not.

"I miss them everyday." She was taking refuge in the forest, sitting between some large twisting roots while looking to the leafy canopy above. Kaonashi had followed her like a dog and stood a little distance from her, just listening to her voice. "I think Momma would have liked it here and the air would have been good for Grandpa's heart. I know Sota would have loved running around, trying to learn from the friendlier yokais."

Yokais? Did Kagome have experience with the supernatural? He had seen no signs of any lingering demons or spirits around the village and yet she spoke like she held knowledge to what they were.

"I was going to choose to come back here. I truly loved that dumb dog but I always imagined that it would be my choice. That I would get to say goodbye to my family first."

The wind gently played with her hair, tangling leaves and petals into the dark tresses. In the limbs above, the birds sang a sad melody that reflected the sorrow he could feel coming off of her. Kagome closed her eyes and leaned back against the massive trunk behind her, accepting nature's beauty and touch.

"Ahhh," Kaonashi tried to prompt her to continue speaking but she content to stay silent.

A few minutes later, he caught the sound of her murmuring. "Do you know about the Shikon no Tama?"

Kaonashi tilted his head to the side, giving a sound of confusion. Of course he knew about the Shikon no Tama. The story of the pure jewel was told in dozen of dazzling tales all across the spirit realm. It was similar to a fantasy or a bedtime story that humans told their offsprings. It was impossible to meet someone on the other side who didn't know about the jewel and so, Kaonashi was confused as why Kagome would ask such a silly question.

Unfortunately, Kagome misunderstood his questioning hum. "It's a story that many of the villagers are telling now. A tragic love story over a powerful gem that spans across many lifetimes and destroyed so many lives. I'm no good at telling it but I'm sure we can find a traveler who would love to share the tale with you." She was still leaning back against the large tree but her eyes were now open, watching the clouds above.

"In this story there's a girl, a young woman who's from a different time." Yes, Kaonashi knew this tale well. The well that started this journey was actually a weak point, a thin line drawn between the spirit and mortal realm. When a mortal crosses this line, they are temporarily sucked in the spirit world and spat back out, most of the time in a different time period as the spirit world did not keep track of time well. "I think the gods that pulled this young girl back . . . I think they made a mistake. They were searching for Kikyo's soul, trying to bring her back so she could finish what she started. I don't think the gods understand that just because someone has the same soul as an ancestor, it doesn't makes them the same person. Life, experience and time makes the soul different, makes it change. I think that's where they went wrong. They wanted Kikyo, and I was not her."

It was then that Kaonashi knew who he was with. He understood who he spent his time with and who confided her secrets with him. The priestess of the jewel, the one who was lost in time after her duty to fix the Shikon no Tama was finished.

It explained the powerful aura she emitted that tangled and ensnared his interest.

Kaonashi had never met this Kikyo before but he could imagine no others like the woman before him. Kagome was Kagome and no one had a hope of being similar to her. He had not offered his physical comfort to her since her rejection on the night the young girl died but he did continue to try others ways to comfort her. He drifted closer to her now, wanting to remind her of his presence and show her she was not alone.

She turned her bright blue eyes to him and gave a small smile, just lifting the corner of her lips. "That's the past though." Her moment of weakness faded and determination filled with her aura. "I'm different from her and I live my own life now."

"Ah, aha."

(¯`·._ (¯`·._ _.·´¯)_.·´¯)

He was not the brightest spirit in the realm but he had seen and experienced a lot. He knew more about emotions than most could imagine, not from experiencing them himself but from feeling what others would feel around him. Some creatures, like humans, would feel emotions more deeply than others and other creatures showed a preference to certain emotions. Humans were weak to rage while canines felt loyalty as a key part to their survival. Despite both being mortals with one beating heart and the same need to survive, they were different to be around.

Kaonashi, himself, rarely had emotions that belonged solely to him. He was not emotionless but rather, it was harder for him to express emotions. He preferred to reflect those he felt instead so he did not need to create them but he knew that the confusion he was feeling now belonged solely to him as he was in the middle of the forest, surrounded by only shadows and no living thing to pin the emotion on.

He moved his arm, waving it in front of his eyes. First one way, then another. There was no doubt to what he was seeing. He had hands. It was not the shadowy limbs with the long tendril that acted like fingers that he was use to seeing. No, he was looking at a man's hand. It had the exact same structure as others he had seen and at times when his transparent body pulsed, he could even see the outline of bones underneath.

He gave a groan of confusion as he watched the black fingers flex, following the mental command he gave them. Why was this happening to him? Was the prolonged exposure to the mortal realm now affecting him? He was growing concerned, and panic was slowly filling his body. He stuck out his neck as far as it would go and looked down at his body, glancing at it as best as he could. The rest of him was the same. A nondescript pillow of shadows that sometimes displayed black organs forgotten with time.

His panic and confusion morphed to shame. He, a powerful spirit, had human hands. It did not make sense to him. He let the limbs fade back into his body, hiding the unfamiliar looking limbs from sight.

He was determined to not let them show until he regain his normal form. This was made difficult in the passing days when he would spent time around Kagome. He was use to being able to freely show himself, moving and morphing in different ways. It was also not uncommon for him to grab things to pass to the priestess when the village was busy.

So there was no way for him to hide it for long. Kagome had a sharp mind and she quickly picked up on what Kaonashi was avoiding. He could see the understanding light in her blue gaze and the sharp glare afterwards. He was grateful that she didn't question him about it at the time since there was two sick children in the hut and an elder complaining about stiffness.

When darkness fell and their hut was empty, Kaonashi expected to be questioned about it. Instead, the miko calmly strode up to him and pressed her palm against his dark silhouette. Her touch was blissful but electrifying at the same time. It filled him, satisfying the hunger that had been gnawing at him and gentle his confused, worrisome thoughts. His expression could not change but his posture relaxed, his body displaying the affect she had on him.

"What are you hiding from me?" Why did she have to sound so hurt?

For his answer, Kaonashi formed his arms and held out his human palms. They still looked odd to him, out of place with his body. Kagome's blue eyes assessed the change, a nonsensical hum escaping her throat. Slowly, as if approaching a wild animal, she reached out a hand and gripped one of his hands.

It felt solid, not like a shadow. It didn't flickering like smoke in her grasp. It wasn't squirming or squishy like gelatin. It was a true hand created by his spiritual form.

He felt her acceptance before she voiced it. "I don't see much of a difference." She turned her head to smile at him and in her aura and eyes, Kaonashi felt only the truth. There was a small pink spark from her nails and warmth bloomed in him as her power surged forward.

In her hands, his own hand went back it its normal form. Knuckles, bones and shape morphed back into its original, spidery form. "Uh," Kaonashi moved his face forward so he could peer closer. How did she do that?

"See, it's back to normal now." Kagome assured him before letting go of his hand, which Kaonashi let disappear back into his body.

It was not her acceptance of his changed hand that he appreciated. It was the fact that she pretended there was nothing wrong or unusual about it, despite them both knowing otherwise. He wished he could smile like he had seen other human males do. He wanted some way to show his gratitude but he usually did that with his offerings and she kept rejecting them.

It didn't stop the warm feeling from spreading in his chest. Kaonashi hummed his appreciation but Kagome just waved off the sound. His warm feeling only grew hotter. He knew it was an emotion but he had never felt something like this before. Was it coming from him or her? He didn't know.

Unnoticed by the spirit and the miko, Kaonashi's neck became more distinct.

(¯`·._ (¯`·._ _.·´¯)_.·´¯)

Kaonashi was not sure how much time had passed. It was difficult to remember that the mortal realm followed a pattern. He did know that he arrived when the grass was green and the trees were full of leaves. After some time the grass turned brown and the leaves were gold. During this time, Kagome was busy treating children who wheezed and coughed and adults who complained about their bones. Then, much to Kaonashi's excitement, the world was bare and white.

It was during this time that several times happened. Elders died in their sleep and weren't discovered until the next morning. Babies coughed until their spirits escape and finally, children and adults froze to death, unprepared for the cold. Kaonashi learned that winter that humans were extremely fragile, unlike spirits.

Kagome stayed with all of those who died and Kaonashi watched as their spirits left to the other side, one by one. None of them offered to take the faceless spirit with them and the longer that Kaonashi lingered around Kagome, he found his desire to leave diminishing. He chose to stay with the miko, never voicing his desires to the passing spirits. His place was with his new obsession, the untouched miko. Kaonashi stayed with her through it all. The healing, the grieving, the burial and the mourning. With each death, she blamed herself and Kaonashi would attempt to soothe her fruitlessly.

He knew from the beginning that today was going to be different from their usual days. Unlike his human companion, Kaonashi did not require sleep but Kagome was kind enough to never kick him out of her home when she slumbered. So he was the first one to become aware of the sounds of strange horses and the deep boom of excited males early in the morning. Kaonashi had been waiting patiently for Kagome to awaken or the village to rouse itself and bother her. One of them was bound to happen first but the strange, unwanted appearance of these strangers jolted Kagome from her sleep, disrupting their usual pattern. Kaonashi watched how her muddled mind reacted the new sounds, which was to roll away and reached for the bow in the corner of the room. She righted herself quickly, still crouched on one knee with an arrow poised and ready.

"Aha," Kaonashi tried to calm her.

Frightened blue eyes flickered around the room, reminding the spirit of a startled animal. She was searching for a threat, ready to fight for her life if it proved to be hostile. After a few tense seconds, the miko saw there was nothing there to harm her and her stance dropped. The bow and arrow clattered to the ground and she clasped a hand to her clothed hip. She took several deep breaths, over and over again, until her emotions calmed down to their passive nature.

"Lady Kagome!" A young male, no longer a boy but not quite a man, burst into the hut. "Lady Kagome, Lady Kaede wants to speak to you."

"What for?" Her calm voice completely hid the fear she had been feeling earlier.

"A messenger from the other village wants to borrow one of our mikos," the boy answered.

"Tell them I'll be there shortly," the boy turned around and raced back out.

Kaonashi moved forward and picked up the forgotten bow. Kagome watched him as he returned it back to its resting corner, treating it like a precious artifact. "Ah, ah, ah." 'Are you okay?' Kaonashi questioned.

Kagome tried to laugh it off but there was a dark gleam in her eyes. "I guess some habits never die." Kagome would have been convincing if he could not feel the fear still lingering deep in her aura. "Kaonashi, do me a favor."

"Hmm." 'Anything.'

"Stay here. The other villagers . . . they might not be welcoming of your presence."

The spirit didn't respond in anyway but Kagome was too busy changing her clothes, unmindful of her nude state between outfits, and brushing her hair out to notice. Just as quickly as she woke up, Kagome was racing out the door, calling out to Kaede. Kaonashi could hear the drunken shouts of men and feel the stomp of angry horses through the floor.

Humans could not be trusted. Their emotions are too unstable.

Kaonashi let his body fade and promptly followed Kagome out. He was undetectable to the human eye, which helped him to follow the fleeing miko without freaking out the human village. Kaonashi followed the gathering humans and soon found himself on the outer edge of the village.

Kagome and Kaede, dressed in matching traditional miko garbs were in the center of the large circle with five men before them, each of them mounted on large horses.

"She can't leave," Kagome protested. It was obvious she was continuing some argument that was started before Kaonashi arrived.

"Our village requires a miko!" The largest man boomed out.

"Lady Kaede can not leave us," the villagers echoed Kagome.

Suddenly one of the men forced his stallion forward and harshly grabbed Kaede's arm. The old woman's legs gave out from under her and Kagome cried out at the sight of the rough treatment. Kaonashi's body felt battered as a range of emotions hit him from all sides. It was made clear to the villagers that the men were not going to take no as an answer.

"Enough!" Kagome's stern voice cut loudly through the confusion. Everyone froze, even the invisible Kaonashi and the rude men. Lady Kaede fell to the floor as the man released her and all eyes turned to look at the younger miko. She was standing tall, her blue eyes locked on the leader and her stance demanded submission as her aura spread out like an unseen fog. Kaonashi helplessly drifted closer to her, seduce by the energy she gave out.

"I'll go with you," Kagome spoke sternly. "Lady Kaede can not leave with you but I can."

Kaonashi could feel their lust as their unworthy eyes scanned his companion. He could feel their wants and desires like a heavy fog and for once, he didn't reflect it. He rejected their auras, filling his body with its own emotion from his own soul. Anger at the miko for offering herself. Protectiveness of the fool who could not feel their lust. Hatred of the men and their greed. Fear, for she was only a fragile human.

The new feeling of his own emotions caused his illusion to flicker. People gasped as his form became visible, right behind the miko pair. Unknownst to him, Kaonashi had swelled in response to his violent emotions, appearing like a menacing shadow behind the two priestess. The horses snorted and stomped back, the men cried out in outraged and even the villagers, who knew who he was, were uneasy at his sudden appearance. Only Kaede, who had recently regained her footing, and Kagome stayed calm.

Several men dropped the spears they were carrying, aiming for the unknown spirit as if their mortal weapons could harm him. Kaonashi stood impassive as the men yelled out insults, outrages and demands for more knowledge of the situation.

Like the strong woman she was, Kagome stepped back, pressing her warm flesh against his cold body. Her defiant blue eyes gazed at the men and her stance screamed out that she was going to protect him. Kaonashi couldn't help but to reach out and wrap a humanistic hand around her waist, pulling her deeper into his embrace so he could feel her unique taste of emotions closer.

"He's my companion," she explained to the group.

"What happened to the hanyou?" One of the men demanded.

"I no longer travel with Inuyasha." Kaonashi felt a sting of misery strike through her aura even though it did not reflect in her voice. "Kaonashi has stayed in this village for many seasons now."

There was sounds of disbelief and some murmuring. "Is he dangerous?" "How did a miko tame a spirit?" "What other black magic could Kagome do?" "How did Kaonashi appear?" "Is she dangerous?" "Could they be trusted?"

One of the men in the back forced his horse forward, keeping his spear leveled with Kaonashi and by extension, Kagome. The large, stupid creature pushed his way to the front and it was clear that the mounted pair was going to attack. Villagers, seeing the same intent, raced forward to protect her while Kagome pushed Kaede out of harm's way and the most horrifying feeling spread through Kaonashi. Kagome's acceptance.

Acceptance of what was going to come. Acceptance that the man was trying to kill her. Acceptance. Acceptance. Acceptance.

Kaonashi moved quicker than the mortals. One second Kagome was leaning against him and the next, he had appeared in front of the miko, guarding her and glaring at the horse. The pitiful creature reared to a stop, its eyes wild and its instincts demanding that it leave the spirit alone. The horse gave a high pitch scream and threw its human off. The male landed in a battered, dusty heap, still clutching the spear as he stared fearfully up at menacing Kaonashi.

Kaonashi didn't hesitate to swallow him whole. The villagers screamed, now running away for cover. The men pulled at the reins, forcing their horses back as the beasts stomped the ground and begged for freedom. Only Kagome and Kaonashi stood still. The young miko was speechless but Kaonashi could feel the weight of her eyes lingering on his hunched form. With stiff steps, she moved to stand by Kaonashi's side, despite the fear he could feel on her.

Was she afraid of the men? Of him? Did the situation scare her?

Kaonashi moaned in discomfort as his body warped and bulged to display his meal. The man was still alive, rolling around inside of him. It had been too long since he had devoured a living being. The sensation was unpleasant and this man was particularly foul. He was a living ball of corruption and now he was inside Kaonashi, polluting him and his thoughts. He wanted to vomit but his body was already trying to absorb the mortal, keeping him hostage inside his stomach. The young miko was now looking at him in concern as Kaonashi released another sickening moan.

"Kaonashi is my protector and companion," Kagome explained sternly. "He will be coming with me when I leave to visit your village. I will arrive in a week's time, like you have requested."

They were scared but Kaonashi no longer cared for their pitiful emotions. He had a living source of emotions resting inside him and they were not happy. They were slowly consuming his mind, tearing his attention away from the hostile group. Kaonashi could only watched as the men said something else and then spurred their horses away before Kagome could respond. The stoic pair watched their retreat until their creatures disappear in the distance.

Her strong shield dropped as soon as they were gone. Kagome whirled around to face him, her eyes wide with concern. She quickly placed a hand on his bulging body, assessing the damage. "Are you okay? What can I do to help?"

Kaonashi refused to answer. If he even tried, he knew the living man inside him would answer for him, using Kaonashi's mouth but his own words. He needed to get control before he risked anything more than a few small sounds.

"Thank you," Kagome whispered to him, her breath caressing the side of his mask. "Thank you for protecting me."

"Ah." Always.

Kaonashi looked into the bright blue eyes and wondered if he should leave. The last time he had eaten a living being and was around a mortal, he had shown to have difficulties controlling himself. Nobody had known that that was the first time he had even attempted such a thing and therefore he had been unprepared for the consequences. He had attempted swallowing living beings several times afterwards in an attempt to teach himself but each time ended in disaster. The living thing inside him always gained control sooner or later. Kaonashi doubted he had enough experience yet or the will to keep this one controlled.

He could feel it, like the pollution that would fill the air in the distant future. The man's emotions, thoughts and habits were soaking into him. His stomach rolled again in an attempt to soothe his ache but as long as he stayed in there, Kaonashi knew he would be in pain.

He should leave. Even if he could not go back to the spirit world, he should keep his distance from the miko. He had once attacked a young girl because he had eaten a disgusting frog. He knew he would hurt his miko with the emotions of the vile man, but even stronger than his fear, was his desire to be near her.

Her taste. Her aura. Her purity. She was all he craved now and even if he destroyed her, he was unwilling to give her up.

Follow me on this new, small journey. What do you think of this plot bunny that would not leave me alone? (I just had to write it down to get some peace) I am aware of the OOCness but it is needed for this tale and honestly, I don't think it's as bad as some stories I've seen. Does Kaonashi bring back childhood memories for anyone else?

I am attempting a brand-new, different writing style with this story. Because of this, some areas may sound rough and editing, as it is done by myself, may need some polishing. I will fix mistakes as I found them over time.

Remember to leave a review! Your words, as a reader, help to fuel an author. It gives us confidence, helps us to write and guides us through some tough times. Leave me anything, I cherish them all.

-Nightshade