Gintoki: Could it be, an actual chapter?

Hijikata: She didn't proof read it again, its crap

Gintoki: BUT ITS A CHAPTER! AFTER SO LONG!

I know I know, gintoki, I got...busy

H: Busy doing nothing...

G: Author san, do you have any idea where this is going...?

NOPE! Enjoy

Red eyes blearily blinked open, staring up at the white ceiling that slowly came into focus.

Gintoki groaned, sitting up. He didn't remember going to a hotel last night, where was he?

He looked around. It seemed he was in a normal bedroom. Besides the bed, night stand, closet, window and dresser, there wasnt really much in here. His bokuto rested on the side of the bed, opposite the night stand. Now the question was, how did he get here?

"Ginko!"

Gintoki tensed as there was a knock on the door. Panicked, he looked around the bed. He didn't end up sleeping with anyone did he? Last night was a bit of a blur! He didn't succumb to a mans desires did he?

The door opened, revealing the typical anime mother. Black hair in a side braid (which really meant she was going to die sometime soon, anime style), kind eyes and a bright smile.

"Ginko, get up! You'll be late for school."

Is she...is she talking to me? How does she know my female name! Is Gin-san a chan now? Did Gintoki junior fall off as he slept!?

Gintoki took a quick peek under the covers. Nope, he still had a hard chest and Gintoki junior. Definitely a man still.

"Ginko~ You'll be late, hurry hurry!" the mother rushed as she opened the curtains. Light blinded Gintoki, making him whine and attempt to become one with the bed.

"But mooooom! I don't want to gooooooo! Five more minutes!"

"Nonsense! If you don't go to school you'll end up having to become a hostess! You'll be lusted over by smelly old men with too much time on their hands!"

"Ginko has her own needs too, you cant just- ow ow ow ow!"

Gintoki's rant was cut short as the covers were pulled off of him and the mother grabbed him by his natural perm.

"WHAT KIND OF MAN WOULD WANT A WOMAN WITH THIS KIND OF HAIR ANYWAY! I'M SO ASHAMED!"

"Ow ow ow ow ow! W-wait a second! Let go, you're ripping it from the roots! The roots!"

"NOW I'LL NEVER HAVE GRANDCHILDREN I'LL DIE OLD AND ALONE AND BE STUCK WITH YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!" The mother sobbed as she let go, running out the room. Gintoki rubbed his head, trying to soothe his curls. Well that was...something.

Getting up, went about his normal morning routine before stopping in front of the closet. He didn't see his normal outfit anywhere, so he'll have to borrow some clothes. He opened the closet, immediately wishing he hadn't. THE ONLY THING IN HERE WERE SCHOOL UNIFORMS! DID THIS ANIME CHARACTER DO NOTHING BUT GO TO SCHOOL?

"Ok, Gintoki. You can so this, you've dressed up as a girl before..."

After several minutes of wrestling the skirt on and trying to brush his natural perm, he looked in the mirror, scrunching his face up in disgust. Gin-san was definitely not meant to be a school girl. He hoped the author was having fun...

"OI AUTHOR SAN! WIPE THAT SADISTIC GRIN OFF YOUR FACE!"

The author simply ignored him, enjoying the image of Gintoki in a school girl's uniform, completed with a skirt, bow and pigtails.

"Ginko! It's time for school!"

"Oh no! I'll be late!" Gintoki cried, grabbing a school bag which seemed to materialize out of nowhere and his bokuto. He jumped down the stairs, grabbing the first edible thing he could find and running out the door.

"Oi...this seems to be starting like your normal romance school anime..." Gintoki muttered bitterly around a mouth full of toaster as he ran to school.

"OI HOW IS A TOASTER EDIBLE!? THERE ISNT EVEN TOAST IN HERE! OI!"

He entered the school building, which was really the only school in town, running up to his classroom. He silently slid open the door.

"Excuse me- OW!"

"LATE!" the sensei yelled, throwing an eraser at him. Gintoki's head snapped back, before his hand came to cup his now bleeding nose and he lowered his head to glare at the teacher. She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose, causing it to give off a glare.

"Sorry, sensei, I woke up la- OW! OI OI OI quit it!" Gintoki whined as the sensei started throwing chalk at him.

"I will not accept tardiness! How dare you show up late!"

"Be lucky Gin-san showed up at all! Oi! Quit it! That stings!"

Eventually she seemed to run out of chalk, fixing her glasses once again.

"Go to your seat so I can start the lesson. You're being disruptive."

"The disruptive one here is you, what kind of teacher beats her students with chalk?"

Gintoki muttered to himself as he looked around the classroom for a seat, thinking maybe he should sit in the front. Typical anime seating required him to be somewhere in the back next to the window. He glanced around to see that the only available seat...was in the back, next to the window.

He felt himself sweat drop. What's this? Was he doomed to follow the footsteps of main characters everywhere? Could he not escape this fate?!

Turning around, he headed for the door. "Actually sensei I don't feel well. That toaster might have had too much iron."

He gave a lazy wave over his shoulder as he walked out the classroom. As he walked down the stairs and out the building, he glanced at the window of the classroom and sighed. Was there no way to avoid this? He just wanted to drift around and not have to worry about...anything. Saving people, having people depend on him.

Was there no escape?

He sighed once again, watching as a brother and sister ran by the school gates.

He felt a sharp pain in his chest.

He grabbed his shirt by his heart, clenching tightly. He knew what this was.

He gave a small smile.

Kagura...Shinpachi...how are you guys doing?

He looked up, a soft breeze blowing the petals from the tree around him.

Typical anime style.

He missed them. Kagura. Was she eating right? Was she using Sadaharu to try and find him? And Patsuan. How was he dealing with this? Did Otae want to kill him for leaving? Katsura...what was he up to? And the old lady, who would protect her now? And the gorilla.

And of course, the one he wanted to tear his thoughts away from. Hijikata.

Gintoki couldn't help but wonder what he was doing. Was he looking for him? Did he miss him?

He had no doubt he was protecting the others in his place. That was just the person he was. He'd curse and complain and make murder threats through those kissable pale lips that always had a cigarette between them...

Ok, going off tangent Gin-san. Now isn't the time for such thoughts.

"Do you have a wish to make?"

Gintoki turned to the sound of the voice. It was a weird white cat thing with long ears, rings around each. It was sitting on a nearby bench.

"If you make a wish I can grant it, and in return you can turn into a magical girl."

Gintoki blinked once, then twice, feeling a small sweatdrop form on his forehead. "G-Good day..."

"My name is Kyubei. I can turn you into a magical girl if you would just make a wish. I can tell you have something on your mind."

Gintoki walked towards it and bent in front of it, yanking its ears and pinching its face.

"Umm...that's a bit uncomfortable." it said, sweatdropping.

"Wait wait wait wait. What the hell is a magical girl?"

"A magical girl is a powerful being that destroys witches. The greater the wish the greater the power. I can make miracles happen, things that other people would only dream about."

"So you're saying...I can make any wish I wanted and be eternally powerful?"

"In retrospect yes," Kyubei nodded with a glint in its eyes.

Gintoki thought for a second before nodding. "I see I see. Well then..."

Gintoki picked up the cat...thing. He walked over to the nearby dumpster.

"Hey hey hey, what are you doing?"

Gintoki didn't answer, opening the dumpster and putting Kyubei inside.

"Wait! What are you doing to me?"

Gintoki closed the dumpster, locking it with the bolt and putting a heavy rock on it. He dusted his hands off.

"HEY! WHATS GOING ON! GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

"There we go. Stay out of other people's business. A deal that shady wouldn't ever end well."

With that, Gintoki left the school compound, now changed into his normal outfit thanks to the magic that is author san, and continued his journey, ignoring Kyubei's cries for help as a dumpster truck came by and took it away to a landfill where it will hopefully die like the DEVIL IT IS-

"Author san, your crazy is showing. Has Madoka Magika really messed you up that much?"

Do not be fooled, the anime starts out cute but turns out to be very messed up...

Er, right. Anyway.

Gintoki continued his journey, muttering to himself about crazy authors.

Hijikata leafed through the little book Kagura gave him, waiting for midnight to arrive. The sun was setting and it was already quite dark out. Hijikata already finished his shift, so he decided to sit here with a cup of coffee with a generous amount of mayonnaise squeezed into it and read what Kagura gave him. He already read it a few times, and now he was just taking it all in, trying to piece what little information he had together.

He still had a while before he was supposed to meet Katsura, so here he sat, leafing through Gintoki's old textbook.

He honestly wasn't sure what to expect. A friendly conversation about Gintoki? What did the idiot have in mind? This could also be part of some elaborate trap to bring down the Shinsengumi, but Hijikata felt that made no sense. Earlier in Katsura's terrorist career he might have put more thought on that, but now, he knew Katsura wouldn't go beyond petty pranks and annoying schemes that were meant to piss him off. Ever since reuniting with Gintoki, that changed in him.

Gintoki changed people...

Hijikata suppressed the thought before he could dwell on it too much. It seemed the natural perm was all he could think about lately anyway.

Turning his attention back to the book, he turned back to the beginning and opened it up. There were doodles here and there and the stain, but other than that it was a normal textbook. It was something Hijikata guessed he would have if he had stayed in formal schooling. But that was another road he refused to think about. Ever.

Most of what was in here was sword techniques, morals, codes, samurai stuff.

Hijikata wondered who was it that gave Gintoki this. The china brat said Katsura had one just like it, so if anything it was more questions to ask the terrorist. Hijikata just wondered how much he was willing to answer, and for what price. He knew they both fought in a war, that they both faced things that left many scars, both physical and mental. How do you make someone like that open up?

Hijikata knew he himself was a stubborn bastard. Hijikata faced his own issues, had his own pain and suffering, and it took a lot for him to trust people. Hell, there were things he didn't even tell Kondo and definitely not Sougo. How would he get the perm to open up to him if he was just as hard to open up himself?

A treacherous voice in the back of his head said to trust him and open up first, but Hijikata immediately snuffed that voice out.

Samurai like them never got happy endings anyway.

So what if he wanted to see that annoying face every day, to look into those deadfish red eyes and run his fingers through those permy annoying silver locks. To argue with him over nothing and feel the secure warmth of him by his side, to-

"AUTHOR SAN! WHAT KIND OF IMAGERY ARE YOU PAINTING HERE, AHN?" Hijikata yelled, pulling the author out of the beautiful romantic thoughts she was about to give the mayo freak.

The author ignored him, deciding that she wasted enough time and that it was time to continue the plot before she lost the few readers she had.

Hijikata tucked the book into his vest, getting up and hesitating as he grabbed his jacket. Did he go as the Demon Vice commander or did he go as himself?

Hijikata pushed the thought out of his head. He was Toshiro Hijikata, Demon Vice Commander. There wasn't a difference, it simply was.

Hijikata slipped the jacket on, sliding his sword in place at his hip before lighting up a cigarette and stepping out.

The night was cool, bringing a breath of relief to the raven haired male. He didn't notice how warm and cramped he felt in his office until now, now that he was out and about. The moon was full and large in the sky, giving the normally dark streets a dim lighting. There weren't many people. It was as if everyone knew Gintoki was gone, and thus Edo no longer had a protector.

The thought made him grit his teeth in frustration, as if he'd let his work with the shinsengumi interfere with protecting people. The very thought was insulting. He'd show them, he wouldn't let anyone get hurt with Gintoki's absence.

As he made his way to the snack bar, Hijikata couldn't help but feel like someone was watching. He stopped, looking over his shoulder and surveying with his steel blue eyes. Nothing stood out. A couple going out, a mother and child walking home, nothing out of the ordinary. But Hijikata knew to trust his gut when it said something was off. Instead he just continued walking, keeping and eye and ear out for anything.

By the time the snack bar was in sight, Hijikata felt maybe his gut was playing tricks on him. He had been stressed with Gintoki leaving, so that was probably it. Everyone had taken it hard, but he was the one who promised to bring him back, not just for himself.

The sign to the Yorozuya's was dark compared to Otose's sign in the distance, and it did nothing to ease his nerves. He didn't notice he stopped until someone bumped into him. What if he wasn't coming back? What if the hope those kids and everyone else had was blind? What if Gintoki was really done and Hijikata couldn't find him?

The thought was too painful to continue thinking, so he pushed it aside. He'd get the perm back. He had to.

Hijikata continued forward with new vigor.

That was, until that feeling of someone watching him came back tenfold.

Hijikata stopped in his tracks, hand on his sword when he felt the tip of a blade press to his back.

"I never thought it would be this easy to sneak up on the Demon Vice Commander. You're losing your touch."

Hijikata repressed a shiver, glancing behind him. He knew that voice, the voice of one of the most dangerous people in all of Edo.

Takasugi Shinsuke.

Dammit, he was a fool for not listening to his gut. He was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't notice him.

Fuck.

"Holding an officer at blade point in the middle of the street isn't exactly smart." Hijikata retorted, chancing a glance around. They were completely alone now, the streets empty. His mind was already coming up with different ways to get out from under Takasugi's blade and gain the advantage. He knew Takasugi was no push over, he couldn't be reckless.

Takasugi let out a chuckle, bringing Hijikata back to the present. "I don't think anyone will feel safe with you being so careless. But I guess suicidal tendencies is one way to get over a harsh break up."

Hijikata tensed even more, feeling his anger start to cloud his thoughts. Shinsuke seemed to sense this, chuckling again as he pushed the blade deeper, threatening to break skin.

"How does it feel? To be Gintoki's sloppy seconds? To have damaged and used goods?"

That seemed to be Hijikata's snapping point. With a growl he grabbed the blade with his bare hand, ignoring the sting in his palm as he turned and took out his own sword, making a swipe for Takasugi's head. Takasugi ducked as if expecting the outburst, kicking Hijikata in the stomach and sending him to the ground. Toushi wasted no time getting back up, crossing blades with the bastard, who had the audacity to smirk at him.

"Did I hit a nerve, vice commander?"

"The hell do you know?" Hijikata growled, the sound feral even to himself. Shinsuke only smirked wider, pushing Hijikata back. As the two crossed blades, Hijikata couldn't help but know his anger was making his moves sloppy and predictable, while Shinsuke was simply toying with him. The thought just pissed him off more.

With a roar, he charged at Takasugi, until a gunshot rang out in the night. Hijikata stopped, his body frozen before he registered the pain in his chest. Fuck, there was more than one and he was too angry to notice!

He dropped to a knee, grabbing his chest where it was slowly bleeding as he glared at Takasugi and the girl who shot him arrived next to him. Hijikata recognized her as Kijima Matako.

With a growl, he used his sword to push himself up, only to have a blade pressed against his neck, courtesy of Kawakami Bansai.

Fuck, how did he not notice them earlier?

"As I said before, sloppy." Shinsuke taunted, bending so he was eye level with Hijikata. Hijikata took the opportunity to spit in his face, earning a gasp from Matako.

"HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT SHINSUKE SAMA LIKE THAT?" She all but screeched. Oh great, a fangirl.

Takasugi just chuckled, wiping his face with the sleeve of his kimono.

"A dog until the end." Takasugi muttered, getting up. "Without Gintoki around, it will be much easier to move. Once I get you and Katsura out the way, I'll be unstoppable."

Hijikata chuckled, the sound coming out a bit more like a wheeze, and fixed Takasugi with a defiant smirk. "You'll have to kill me first."

"I intend to." Takasugi stated as if he was discussing the weather. He lifted his sword, bringing it down.

But before it could make contact with Hijikata's neck, another sword blocked it. Before Hijikata could process, something exploded by him, making Banzai release him in favor of not getting blown up.

"Hijikata san. Bastard. I thought I told you I'm the only one who gets to kill you." Sougo's voice rang out.

More gunshots were fired as China jumped into the scene, making Kijima take a step back before she was held at umbrella point.

"Bitch." she hissed at Kagura, who just smirked smugly. Banzai made a move to help her, but Sougo aimed at his head.

"Don't even think about it."

"I never thought you'd make your move so soon, Takasugi." Zura spoke, grabbing Hijikata's attention. Zura spared a quick glance at the shinsengumi officer on the ground. "Never thought a bullet would bring you down, demon vice commander."

Hijikata had to chuckled at that, standing up and wiping away a bit of spit on his mouth.

"It didn't." He pulled out the book, showing the bullet firmly embedded in it. He couldn't help the snort that found its way to his lips. Even gone Gintoki was still saving him...

"You really have fallen low, Zura. Working with the shinsengumi?" Takasugi spoke.

"Zura ja nai, Katsura da. And I told you, the next time we saw each other, it would be as enemies." Katsura spoke calmly.

Takasugi chuckled, smirking. "Without Gintoki, do you really think you stand much of a chance?"

"We will be plenty to keep you at bay until he returns." Katsura sounded so sure of himself...

"Are you sure he hasn't finally gotten tired of you, Zura? Of his little dog?"

Hijikata had his blade against his neck before he even thought of the command. Zura gave him a look, but Hijikata ignored it.

"What are you planning?" Katsura spoke, seemingly unaffected.

"Same as always. Destruction. It's only a matter of time. You guys won't be able to protect anyone. You should know something about that. Don't you, Hijikata?"

The taunting gaze Takasugi sent him spiked his temper once again, but before he could slit the bastard's throat, something exploded on the side. China and Sougo took cover while Zura tackled him to the ground. Then the smoke cleared, Takasugi and his little minions were gone.

Hijikata got up, sheathing his sword and silently fuming. His temper got the best of him. Kondo would be so disappointed...

"Hijikata-san."

Hijikata turned to Zura, who was waiting with China and Sougo.

"I think it's time we had that discussion now."

Gintoki: Oooohhh suspense!

Hijikata: WHY DID YOU MAKE ME SO WEAK

Gintoki: I think that action scene wasnt planned, it seemed pretty bland actually

Shut up, im not good at writing out fights...

Gintoki: Obviously, stick to your day job...