I got this idea from a tumblr post that stated: main character tries to avoid being main character but he ends up in different anime being led to being main character. Something like that. I thought of gintama because it was perfect. And of course, why not add romance? Hijigin is forever my OTP, for gintama at least, but i plan to hint at other ships, sougo x kagura for one.

This chapter is more of a filler to get things going, sorry for the horrible quality if i think of something else I will change it. Enjoy!

The sound of swords clashing could be heard. Steel against wood. A certain silver haired samurai pushed his opponent back. He was battling Amanto after Amanto, having been hired find out more about their illegal trade (he still didn't know what they were trading) and to put an end to it. The amanto themselves looked like normal people, save for the stupid mark on their forehead in the shape of a poop.

Pushing the Amanto back, Gintoki turned to see if he could spot how Kagura and Shinpachi were doing. The human wearing glasses seemed to be holding his own, as well as Kagura, who was currently teaming up with that other sadist-

"OI! PERMY SHIT HEAD! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE FIGHTING!"

The voice that made Gintoki want to violently stab puppies rang in his ears, making him turn swiftly to meet the gaze of the demon vice captain himself, Oogushi-kun.

"ITS NOT OOGUSHI ITS HIJIKATA YOU PERM!"

"THAT'S MY LINE" a familiar voice could be heard by the man known as Zura ("ZURA JA NAI KATSURA DA!"), but both Mayora and Yorozuya ignored him. Gintoki simply turned to glare at the mayo freak, who was glaring right back, tick mark in his head and cigarette crushed between his teeth. They were back to back, trying to work together to take on the hordes of Amanto that were attacking.

"AAHH? Sorry what was that? I couldn't hear you over all the PEOPLE WHO KEEP TRYING TO KILL ME! YOU'RE IN MY WAY!"

"What the hell did you just say you bastard? SEPPUKU FOR YOU!"

"Is all that mayo that you eat clogging your ears? I said-"

"Toshi! We have to work together!" Kondo's voice sounded, somewhere to Hijikata's left. Hijikata just grit his teeth, glaring once more at the sugar freak before slicing up some more Amanto in an attempt to keep his temper in check.

"Is Danna bothering you, Hijikata-san? Why don't you just drop dead? I can help with that." Sougo spoke, suddenly next to him, pointing his bazooka at him.

"The mean mayo freak should just get cut and die, aru." China spoke from next to him, cracking her knuckles. What the hell was wrong with this kid...?

"GIN SAN! The amanto are getting away!" The glasses called, catching all of their attention as the Amanto retreated with their cargo (seriously what was in those boxes?).

Gintoki felt himself sigh, his dead fish eyes sparkling with a bit of annoyance that retreated almost as fast as it came, so no one noticed. If only he could have an easy job, one that payed well so he could just get it over with and go home and read his jump. But nooooo. Kondo had to ask him for help, offering to pay the last four months of rent so Otose didn't kick him out. And what for? The author doesn't even know what she's doing, she just needs a way to start the plot so-

"DOES YOUR HAIR COVER YOUR EARS AND MAKE YOU DEAF? MOVE YOUR ASS!" That voice was once again yelling, following after the Amanto. One day...

Gintoki felt his own tick mark appear in his neck before simply deciding to grit his teeth and follow. The faster this was over the sooner he could get away from this asshole. He wasn't even sure why he hated him so much. He was a pretty ok guy when he wasn't picking fights. There was just something about his stupid face and steel blue eyes that made him want to punch him.

Or kiss him.

But punching him seemed like the better and stress relieving option.

Eventually he caught up to the others, walking into an explosion where Sougo blew up their ship that they were trying to escape from. He stood next to the mayora, watching as survivors (though there was a significantly less amount of amanto than before...) crawled out, holding their hands up.

"We should blow them up, just to make sure they don't run away again." Sougo spoke up, readying his bazooka once again.

"I don't think that's necessary, it looks like they're about to surrender." Hijikata replied, finally lighting up the cigarette that was between his teeth with his mayo lighter.

Noticing a box at the side, curiosity took over Gintoki's brain. He cautiously walked up to it, his senses on high alert. Prying it open with his wooden sword, he glanced in to see what all the fuss was about.

And immediately shut the box.

"Gin san, what was in the box?" Shinpachi asked, coming to Gintoki's side. Gintoki immediately started stammering. Before he could come up with an explanation, Shinpachi opened the box, immediately freezing.

Dildos.

All this fuss was to stop the illegal trade...

Of dildos.

"Oi gorilla. Is this some kind of a joke? It's not funny, where's the cargo we need to secure?" Gintoki asked, trying desperately to sound calm and hoping they didn't go though all this for a bunch of dildos.

"It's true, we specialize in the trade of dildos for the lonely and ugly." One of the Amanto spoke up, trying to explain things.

"These should be perfect for Otae then..." (Otae sneezed, promising a painful death for Gintoki for some reason.) Gintoki immediately retracted his statement when he felt a gloom of sudden death.

As the amanto started trying to explain himself, Gintoki felt something in his heart tug. Was this really it? Was this what he fell to?

Dammit he might have been a lazy good for nothing, but he was trying. Trying to do something other than kill others, other than wage war and watch people he cared about fall, both by sword and by their own minds.

None of the other main characters had to deal with this. Luffy might have been equally as stupid as he was, but he was respected. Goku as well.

And Ichigo? Ichigo had a Bankai. A BANKAI!

And what was he doing?

Stopping a dildo bust.

"OI YOROZUYA! PAY ATTENTION!"

Gintoki felt something snap then. Gripping his sword, he struck at Hijikata, who barely had time to block the blow. The result was simply the snapping of his katana in half. Hijikata skidded back, not wanting to admit he was slightly worried and just a bit pissed at his katana being broken so easily. Sure him and the permy bastard fought all the time, but he never was on the receiving end of Gintoki's anger and bloodlust. It was just like-

The shiroyasha.

Of course. It was easy to forget this good for nothing was the Shiroyasha.

Silence rang through the port, no one dared even breathe. It was a moment before Gintoki sighed, dropping his wooden katana on the floor.

"I'm done."

Done? The hell did this bastard mean he's done?

"What do you mean done? We haven't arrested them yet!" Hijikata yelled, disguising his discomfort with anger.

"I mean, I'm done. Finished. I won't be protagonist anymore."

Gintoki never rose his voice, and for some reason that scared Hijikata more than anything. Gintoki's kids were quiet, no one knew what to say. Looks like it was up to him.

"The hell do you mean? You can't just quit the series? The show will get cancelled without you!"

"Then find yourself a new protagonist! I'm done doing all this stupid shit!" Gintoki yelled, motioning around himself and the boxes full of dildos. Hijikata felt his hackles rise. This wasn't the same type of anger Gintoki always directed to him, one of annoyance. No, this was true anger.

"That's the whole point of this show! It's stupid most of the time but time to time..." Time to time it means so much more.

Time to time you prove you are an amazing main character.

Time to time you change people's lives.

And of course, Hijikata said none of this.

Gintoki sighed, all anger from before dissipating. "Then find yourself a new protagonist then. It's not my problem anymore."

"But Gin-chan we need you!" Kagura cried, tearing up.

"You can't just leave us again Gin-san! We were lost without you!" The glasses shouted, shaking slightly in an attempt to keep from crying.

"You guys will be fine without me, you don't need me."

With that, Gintoki started walking away, ignoring the cries of Kagura and Shinpachi. Hijikata found himself gritting his teeth so hard the cigarette snapped in half. How could he...how could that bastard just walk away from all this?

"YOU CANT JUST LEAVE YOU COWARD! HOW CAN YOU JUST LEAVE LIKE THIS? HOW CAN YOU LEAVE US?" How can you leave me...?

Gintoki said nothing, walking out of the room and leaving a deafening silence behind.

Hijikata spit out the filter of the cigarette, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. He asked himself what everyone else was thinking...

What do we do now?