Rule #1: A marine must maintain good hygiene and personal image. This means that the uniform is to be worn at all time while on duty, in all its constituent parts. The barracks are to be kept tidy, and personal cleanliness attended to no less than once per day.

Admiral Helmeppo could feel the headache coming on long before he met the recruits the fleet admiral had assigned to his care. He knew it was necessary though- they were in desperate need of more officers. Even Admiral Smoker had been conscripted into teaching. The result was- quite frankly- terrifying. Smoker's brats listened to no one but him and Garp, much like White Chase before them. They were, however, brilliant officers in the making. All three followed Smoker's unique brand of obsessive but moral justice. Fleet Admiral Coby had made it clear he would not tolerate fanatics of absolute justice in his ranks.

Friendship with the king of the pirates probably had a strong bearing on that.

As soon as he opened the door of the barracks, Helmeppo knew he didn't have to worry about his brats. Forget absolute justice, the three kids didn't look like they could follow directions. At least one of them hadn't even bothered to read the marine handbook.

The girl sat demurely in her corner, sewing. She appeared to be altering her uniform, shooting glares at the two boys. Helmeppo sighed, but figured he'd leave her to it. Coby would probably approve the alterations without much though. Although how the girl expected to be able to fight in a full skirt and petticoats was beyond the admiral.

On the other side of the room, the boys were total opposites. One had shucked out of his shirt, his clothes tossed carelessly on the floor as he hung upside down from his bunk. That one was doing crunches with a scarily familiar enthusiasm that his fully dressed counterpart lacked. The last member of the trio sat sulkily on his bunk, clearly not pleased about being there. Helmeppo could remember that feeling.

"Attention! Recruits, form up!"

Helmeppo restrained a sigh as his brats moved to line up. The girl was quick, but moved with an annoying softness. She didn't seem like marine material- more like a noble housewife. Her posture and salute were perfect though, which was more than could be said of the sulky boy. He slouched, putting as much distance between himself and the girl as possible.

The enthusiastic boy fell off his bunk onto his face. It didn't seem to bother him, as he raced to stand between his teammates, saluting before he had come to a full stop. Or rather, before tripping over the hem of the girl's skirt and planting his face in the floor at Helmeppo's feet.

Yep, there was that headache.

Helmeppo rubbed his temples. "Alright recruits, introduce yourselves."

"Petty officer Rose reporting for duty, Admiral Helmeppo! Call number ni-ni-yon-go-yon." Rose's voice was as delicate and pretty as her face and clothes. Helmeppo despaired teaching her to fight. She looked like a broken nail would make her collapse.

"Petty officer Lucius, son of Rear Admiral Malfaire. Call number ichi-san-yon-yon-hachi." Helmeppo was going to continue to think of Lucius as Sulky. The voice certainly fit. At least this boy's uniform was clean, pressed, and on.

"Petty officer Brody! Call number zero-zero-san-ni-go!" Brody leapt to his feet and saluted again.

Helmeppo nodded. "As you probably know, my name is Admiral Helmeppo. Fleet Admiral Coby has assigned you to me for the foreseeable future for training. Brody, get your shirt on."

The recruit eagerly complied, somehow managing to trip over his bed while retrieving his uniform. He also fell on his ass while getting back in line. Helmeppo despaired.

"Alright. Before we get to the first lesson, I want the three of you to tell me why you're here. Why did you join the marines?"

"Dad told me to," Lucius sulked. Well, at least his father wasn't a corrupt idiot like Helmeppo's own.

"I want to protect people." Helmeppo tried hard not to think about how unlikely it was that tiny little Rose could protect anyone. Maybe she would surprise him, after all. Coby used to be pretty small too.

The last recruit grinned widely. It was an oddly familiar expression. "I wanna catch Monkey D Luffy and the Straw Hat Pirates!"

Lucius snorted. "As if that's ever going to happen. The pirate king is friends with the fleet admiral, idiot."

"So?"

"He's off limits!"

"No one is off limits to justice!"

Helmeppo didn't have the heart to break Brody's idealistic bubble. The Tenryuubito, the Gorosei- there were definitely people off-limits to justice, or at least, the law. That was why the friendship between Coby and Luffy still worked. As pirate king, Luffy could deliver justice to those the fleet admiral couldn't touch. It meant that the government would always be after his head, but the people would be safer for it. Few marines ever tried all that hard to catch Straw Hat these days.

"Alright then you three. For your first assignment, you're going to clean these recruit barracks from top to bottom. By hand."

"Huh?" Lucius stared. "But that'll take ages! Isn't that what chore boys are for?"

Helmeppo groaned. "Do you think every ship of the lie has a chore boy? No! Marines keep their own bases and ships clean! If it's not done to my satisfaction by dinner, you'll be up all night until it is!"

Brody saluted sloppily and ran off to get started. Lucius sulked.

"But-!"

He was interrupted by a blow to the head from Rose. The tiny girl's fist sent Lucius sprawling as her eyes shone with cold fire.

"I won't share a room with boys who smell like dirty pirates!"

Lucius squeaked and took off to the laundry with impressive speed. Helmeppo raised his eyebrows at his female apprentice.

"You're stronger than you look."

"Of course." Rose smiled sweetly. "I have to be. With Mama gone, who else was going to keep all my little brothers in line? Please excuse me sir; I should probably go find Brody before he breaks something." A smashing sound made the girl wince. "Never mind, it appears too late for that."

Rather than rushing, Rose set off at a sedate pace. Helmeppo placed a hand on her shoulder as she passed him.

"If you see Brody with his shirt off again, please feel free to beat some sense into him. It's against regulations while on duty."

"Of course sir."