AN: Not sure if I should continue, let me know if you're interested.

ASPEN

It wasn't long after my first night at the Winchesters that they hit the road in search for leads of the Darkness but when they turned up empty handed they chose to go hunting instead. First it was the Indiana Basilisk, the lake monster in Kentucky and the killer Pegasus in North Carolina, that turned out to be a conjuring made by a child witch, purely by mistake. All I know is that we hit an amazing stride over the last month and I have never felt more alive. Ive learned to reference things in a flash, find answers to the greatest mysteries and be able to help save lives in the process. The only thing that's missing is my sister and right now I want nothing more than to

tell her how happy I am doing what I am doing with Sam and Dean.

When I wasn't busy manning the station for the guys I was busy reading

books, so many books and I haven't even tapped the surface. I haven't heard too much about the heavens but all I know is that this room, with all these shelves and rows full of books is my heaven. Today the boys are headed home and I decide to make them a genuine home cooked meal, so I head out in search of groceries.

SAM & DEAN

Sam is feeling charged and awake more than usual today as the Impala tears down the stretch of highway, homeward bound.

"I mean she was amazing, wasn't she? Bobby and Charlie would be so proud." Sam says.

"Hell yeah, they would. It's nice having that back bone of info right on hand again. I don't think I've enjoyed the hunt that much in a long time."

Sam smiles over at his brother. "You made a good call, Dean."

ASPEN

"Honey, we're home!" I hear Dean call from upstairs. I smile to myself. I'm kind of sad that the hunt is over for now but I'm starting to become stir crazy from being alone in the bunker, it'll be nice to have them home.

I take the Pie out of the oven and put it on top of the stove to cool. It's been a while since I cooked, I almost forgot I love to do it. I head back into the main room where I've set the table family style with mash potatoes and gravy, oven roasted chicken and veggies and corn on the cob. I

make it just in time to see the boys get to the bottom of the stairs and take in the dinner on the table.

"Omigod, I love this day," Dean says.

"This looks amazing, Aspen," Sam says. I can't help but to notice the strange expression on his face. He looks so happy, yet somehow so sad and I can't quite put my finger on why that is. He looks over the table, taking in everything there and even as Dean sits down and starts making himself a plate, Sam still stands there looking but not moving.

I sit down and glance up at Sam.

"You coming?"

He seems to break out of a trance, "Yeah, uh...sorry."

"Okay, I admit I went full Betty Crocker but It's just been a while since I cooked and it's always nice to have people to cook for."

"There's no complaints here, darlin," Dean says shoveling a second helping into his plate.

"No, this is seriously, so amazing. Thank you," Sam says.

"By the way, you did a great job while we were out there," Dean says.

"I never imagined it would work that well. Like a machine.

"Well thank you," I say." I can't tell you how much I truly loved every minute of it."

After a while I bring out the pie and while Dean eats most of it, they tell me stories about the hunts. Sam shows me a few pictures on his cell phone of the Pegasus, mostly because I insisted on pictures. We laugh, we eat, we have a great time and I feel at home already. It's not until we were all sitting around, miserably full that Dean perks up.

"Guys, this day has been too good for us not to go out and celebrate."

"Celebrate?" I ask.

"Yeah, Sam and I just owned three hunts, all thanks to you, we came home to a pretty girl who cooked an amazing meal. I'm feeling good, lets go have some drinks, get you out of this bunker and play some pool or something."

I laugh a little awkwardly, feeling my cheeks blush from Dean calling me pretty. I've never been good at handling complements.

"Sounds great to me," Sam says, glancing over to me. You in?"

SAM

Sam stands outside watching the suns last signs of life before the night takes over. A nice cool breeze sweeps through his hair and he appreciates feeling a tad bit carefree for once. The darkness, Crowley, childhood trauma and his guilt over Charlie still remain but today at least, they feel far away. He feels a slight tug at his heart, thinking about dinner. He knows Aspen noticed his reaction and he has a feeling there will be questions about it later. He thinks about her blushing when Dean called her pretty and something feels slightly un comfortable. What is ithe's feeling, he wonders.

"Ready to go?"

He turns to find Aspen, her hair practically glowing red in the fading sun. Her blue eyes seem curious and amused all at once. He takes notice of the blackdress she wears. A-line, little slivers of silver sparkle throughout. Shesso much like Charlie but such a far cry from her when it comes to being girly.

"That's a nice dress," He says. He practically flinches. What he wants to tell her is that she looks beautiful, because she does. How does Dean make itseem so easy to tell a girl she's beautiful? He always knows the right thing to say, and how to say them.

A smile stretches across her face and she playfully curtsies, lifting the sides of her dress.

"Well, thank you."

ASPEN

I know I'm overdressed for a bar but I don't really care. I'll wear a dress for anything. I can already tell this is going to be a good night. Dean is buzzing with excitement to win some money playing pool, Sam seems enthusiastic but deep in thought and I plan to get to the bottom of that. All I know is I feel amazing inthe passenger seat of the Impala, I tried to sit in the back but Sam refused. Van Halen is blasting Dance The Night Away and the windows are cracked and the cool air whirls around us. I sing along, to the top of my lungs and Dean joins in, playing the full set of drums on the steering wheel. I start the air guitar during the solo and Dean

flashes a brilliant smile over at me. I look back to Sam who smiles tightly in return.

"You've got the air bass covered, right?! Sam smiles, He playfully plucks away at the air but shakes his head and laughs after a few seconds.

We arrive at the Dusty Moon bar a few minutes later. Dean parks the Impala in a well lit area he knows he can spot easily from the window. Its endearing tome that the car and the brother is the only thing Dean needs to be complete. We make our way inside. Everything is as I expect, loud classic rock, wooden floors, cheap table and chairs and assorted neon signs advertising the lot ofliquors and beers and of course the rowdy Saturday night crowd. The symphony of clanking pool balls, loud drunken conversation and the music is deafening and I almost yell my order to the bartender which is a jack and coke. Dean orders a pitcher of beer and Sam gets the same as me

"There's a free pool table!" Dean says. "I need to warm up before I take money from all these suckers, wanna help?

SAM & DEAN

Aspen wonders over to the pool table and gets it set while Dean and Sam find a table nearby.

"Try not to piss everyone taking their money tonight," Sam warns with a

quiet laugh.

"You know what I wanna do tonight Sammy?"

"What"'s that? Sam takes a seat and grins up at his older brother. To him

theres nothing better than when Dean is in an excellent mood.

Dean smiles over at Aspen who's got the pool table set and leans against it taking a long sip from her drink as she watches the people play at the table next to her.

"That girl cooks like a chef, knows monsters better than me, jams out to the great Eddie Van Halen and sports red hair like a goddess. Tonight, I wanna teach her to play pool."Dean slams his glass down on the table and makes his way over towards Aspen.

Sam feels his smile fade. He knows Dean well enough, more than well enough to know he wants Aspen. Sam feels angry at himself for feeling a growing sense of agitation. His brother should have fun, I mean at least he's not edging towards a psycho killer anymore now that the mark is gone he thinks.

He practically gulps down his drink as he watches Dean flirt with Aspen, he stands a little too close, laughs a little too hard at her jokes, and shows her how to take certain shots with the way too obvious standing up against her and running his arms down the length of hers while they steady a shot.

He thinks about Amelia and wonders how she is these days. It's strange, to

him, Jessica was killed by his lifestyle and Amelia just didn't fit into the puzzle of his lifestyle. He heads back to the bar and orders drinks for himself, Aspen and Dean and heads back, promising himself not to let things get him down, at least not tonight.

When he gets back to the table Aspen is sitting there, happy to see him

approaching with new drinks. He glances over towards the pool tables and sees Dean has started a game with some other people, ready to take their money no doubt. Either way, Sam feels somewhat relieved but doesn't understand why.

ASPEN

Sam sits down and slides a new drink over to me. I cant help but to think how thoughtful it was for him to battle it out at the overcrowded bar for everyone.

"Dean is super intense about pool, huh?" I ask.

"Dean kind of has an alpha male, have to win the competition complex, so yeah, he's pretty enthusiastic." Sam answers with a grin that seems forced.

A group nearby burst into a screeching round of laughter and Sam seemsto flinch.

"The bar scene isn't really your thing, is it?" I ask.

"No, I love going out. Its always a good time,"Sam says, taking a sip from his drink. I smirk at him because its so obvious he's lying.

He laughs, "Okay fine, its not my scene. I like quiet nights at home, the few that come along, binge watching Netlfix and trying to research the next big hunt."

I laugh with him but I understand at the same time. I love a good night out

from time to time but I'm definitely not a party person.

"Yeah, I used to love the party scene while I was in college but once I quit I just didn't have much interest," I tell him.

Sam smiles and takes a few sips from his drink. "College, huh? What were you studying?

"Law." I say.

His eyes light up. "No way! I almost went into Law school!

Seriously?I try to imagine Sam in college, being normal.

"Yeah, I was days away from beginning the process when Dean showed up

and, well—I guess the rest is history." His brows pull together, troubled and he looks down at his drink, poking the ice around.

"You mean the rest went down in history. You turned away from law school and saved the world," I say.

Sams laugh is dry and he wipes the finger he was poking the ice with across his tight fitted flannel shirt. His eyes return to mine. "That's a nice spin on it, I guess" he says quietly.

"It's not a spin, Sam, it's facts."

"Well we might have saved the world but we did it with a lot of help and a lot of sacrifice. Dean and I, we've caused a lot of damage along the way. People died helping us." I watch him speak, his nerves are building and I can hear a tragic amount of self-loathing in his words. I want to know more but I decide that later may be better.

"Have you ever thought about giving it all up? Maybe, walking away?"

Sam smiles, "how did I miss this possible lawyer in you?"

I laugh.

He shakes his head and brushes his hair back, something he does all the time that frustrates me because—hell, its sexy.

"I guess that's the question of my life,"he answers. "I get up in the morning, I hunt monsters, I'm on the road and I get to hang out with my brother and a lot of the times I feel okay with it, content you could say, but my heart has never been all the way in it."

I sip my drink, its rather strong. I can feel the deep buzz running through my veins.

"And just where else is Sammy Winchesters heart?"

Sam gazes at me, a small smile at my question, his lips part and hes about to answer.

"Guys, I just bought two huge bottles of rum off the guy that runs the bar, and I just won an obscene amount of money from those dudes over there," Dean is slightly bleary eyed holding a bottle of rum in each hand.

"Let's get back home and polish these babies off, what do ya say?"

He grins.

Sam almost has to physically assault Dean into letting him drive us home. Sam and I laugh almost to tears on the way listening to Deans drunken tales of how he beat everyone at pool as he lays in the backseat. We get into the bunker, and Dean passes out in his room within a half hour.

In my room I decide to go ahead and change out of my dress and into an

oversized LSU sweatshirt and some undies. I thought that once Dean was out and it got quiet that Sam had gone to bed too but I was wrong. There's a tap at my door and I open it to Sam standing there holding one of Deans rum bottles.

"Oh, sorry I didn't know you were—dressed for bed," Sam looks away and I adore how respectful he is.

"Sam, seriously, its all good." I take the bottle from is hands and he lets his eyes fall back to me.

"Maybe now you could finish telling me the whereabouts of

your heart?

Two scotch glasses and one bottle of rum later we settle in on top of the

teal comforter on my bed.

"Okay, so tell me," I nudge.

Sam sits Indian style a few feet away and nods. "Well I guess I've just always wanted a normal life, you know? I want to fall in

love, get married, have babies. The whole nine yards."

"So you think you can't?"

"Look at my life, Aspen. I've had conversations with Satan, Ive BEEN SATAN. I've died and come back a handful of times, I slaughter vampires,warewolves and everything else on this insane marble called earth. You think I should have a wife, father children?" I watch him as he speaks, I feel like Im near crying. Sam is gentle, kind and good hearted. He doesn't realize this at all. He thinks that hunting the monsters has made him one. "I've been in love twice,"he continues. "It didn't end well."

I feel a flash of jealousy. "Love doesn't end well for a lot of people, Sammie. Maybe you could find a balance between the two lives and stop thinking you'll ever have a normal one. You wont, but that doesn't mean you cant have a nice version of normal for you."

Sam does that thing with his hair and sits back. He takes a long sip of rum and sits his glass down on the side table.

"So, what? You think I could somehow have a life within this life? He smiles.

"I do."

"The whole nine?"

I smile "The whole nine."

He smiles and looks away like he does a lot, like he has trouble holding

eye contact with me. It amazes me that Sam Winchester has gone through what he has but he's still too shy to look me in the eyes for too long.

Well, I should probably let you get some sleep," he says getting up and

heading to the door.

I get up and walk up to him. "Can I ask you another question?"

"Of course," he says turning back to me.

"What was that look on your face when you came down and saw dinner on the table today?"

Sam smiles, "Um, It's just, I've never really had the whole home cooked meal, feels good to come home feeling. It was just, really nice I guess."

His eyes hold mine for long moment.

"Sam seriously, I think if you want something you should make it happen. Stop worrying if it will work in your life and make it work. If you want something, reach out and take it,"I tell him.

His brows pull together and he looks at me, really looks at me. He takes a step closer, and then another, closing the gap between us. My heart starts to pound and I realize that I never realized how truly tall he is. I study his lips and I want them on mine. I want him on me. I look into his eyes and they're pleading with me, asking if its ok to touch me. I reach up and touch his face, brushing my thumb across his cheek. He closes his eyes and puts his hand on mine. When he opens his eyes they look different, they look purposeful and hungry. His lips meet mine and he presses me into the wall, his tongue searching mine, mine searching his and I melt. I feel his hands on my bare leg, sliding up and up, to my torso, to my ribs. I feel weak in the knees and I've never wanted someone so badly. He whispers my name and I beg my heart not to stop.

He steps back suddenly. He holds his hand to his mouth, and then like a sick, cruel move he pushes his fingers into his hair.

"I cant, Im so sorry,"his voice his husky.

"Why not?" I ask, feeling nearly broken hearted.

"Charlie would hate me for touching you. I bring death to everyone. I brought death to her. It was my fault. I got her into that mess and now shes dead and youre alone and look at me. Im just putting you in my web." He turns to leave.

"Sam, you cant blame yourself for everything," I say.

"Yes, I can. But I sure as hell wont be blaming myself for something

happening to you. I couldn't handle it."

I want to say something back but in an instant he's gone.