JLF HQ

Tohdoh's POV

"My lord, with your return, is it now time to enact your holy crusade against the Empire of Britannia?"

The cultists soon hushed and formed a path between their god and myself. I noticed that my student was now surrounded by several new faces, one of which was very possessively grasping his arm in front of Kaguya. It seems that the boy has become a man if he has finally chosen someone. I still remember when he became afraid of the female sex for a period when Kaguya started to take interest in him. I'm glad to see that he has gotten over his fears.

"Probably not. We need to see how well agent M.M. and Kaguya have done their jobs. I am doubtful they have made much headway given how the Eunuchs are the ones really pulling the strings. We also need to ascertain whether or not the Geass collective will interfere with our war. They have been surprisingly silent despite our scouts poking about several of the gates. I also need any news regarding the current state of administration here. Who is in charge, who is going to be in charge, and how long until he/she gets here?"

"Jeremiah Gottwald is currently in charge, we also know that Princess Cornelia will be taking charge of the administration after the frontier has been conquered."

"So that will be a few months then?"

"A couple of days," I said wryly.

Goddamn it Suzaku. I'd be damned proud of your warrior spirit if it wasn't being used to support our oppressors.

"Explain? Last I checked wasn't there a stalemate?"

"Unfortunately, the Empire has found itself a new champion."

"Who?"

"Your childhood friend," I said not wanting to really talk about my wayward student.

"Suzy? That Suzy? She couldn't even beat me in a fight, and I'm literally a twig in comparison."

Muscle and technique aren't too useful when you can literally read all of the moves your opponent will make, plan for it, and react instantaneously when you notice that the opponent becomes surprised and tries to become spontaneous. Though I guess with enough speed (far beyond what a child could muster) the difference could be removed.

"I can sense your disbelief Sensei. Also, Kallen. Suzy is just another friend from way back when. She's the daughter of the late Prime Minister. What do you mean he only ever had a son? I know Suzy is a girl. Look her father kept harping about how much of a little bitch she was for not being man enough. Did I ever ask Suzy if she was a girl? Of course not. That would be rude. I asked if she was okay with being treated so poorly by her father and that she should be okay with the way she was born. Her response? She claimed that she was a boy rather angrily, but wouldn't that be the normal response if you were conditioned to believe that you were never good enough unless you were man enough. Of course, she would reject her birth sex. Did the Prime Minister have any secret children? I'm pretty sure that he only ever had the one. Confirm it with Sensei?"

How strange. This girl must be very close to L.L. if he is communicating with her via his powers as though it were normal. He actively refrained from reading thoughts as part of his moral code.

"Sensei, is Suzaku Kururugi a boy or a girl?"

"My wayward student is, in fact, a little bitch," I said with, what I barely regret, sadistic glee. The little bitch deserves every little bit of trouble for everything that he's done. Plus it is amusing to pull a fast one over someone that is equivalent to the avatar of a deity.

"See, Kallen. Suzy is a girl. Also, that's a pretty rude way to address your student."

"Suzaku is fighting for the enemy to literally enslave other people to put them in a similar destitute situation as ours for the sake of liberating one country. Even if it does become for our benefit, that's a pretty bitch move."

"Except Britannia was going to do it regardless."

"It's very hypocritical and shameful. If I were to see Suzaku on the battlefield, I would hesitate to cut my student down only so that I may prolong the suffering for this betrayal."

"You and Kaguya sound very similar. It's like you both have hate boners for Suzy."

"It's well deserved and there is literally nothing you can say that can change our minds."

"In any case, I need to contact our contacts in China."

"M.M. is actually ready to receive your call. We have a line prepped in meeting room 3."

"He is?"

"He took the assault as a signal and waited until an hour ago before contacting us."

"How could he have possibly known that I would show up here approximately at this time?"

"He says it's because he knows his little brother very well. He also mentioned that he gives his blessing to whatever girl you brought to date his little brother."

"How the hell did he know Kallen would be here?"

"Because you would never get your act together this early unless you had a very compelling reason to such as you dating a very hot and passionate young woman. And he gives his blessings without ever meeting her because any woman that his little brother would choose must be as close to perfection as possible so there would obviously be no reason to ever reject her."

"... Geass users. We're all bat shit crazy geniuses," he mumbled before marching off to the meeting room.

"I'll give your guests a tour of the compound during your meeting," I said as I quickly began directing different groups to help split the group up while I showed Kallen around. While M.M. may have okayed her, I needed to assess her for myself. It would not do for my student to have chosen poorly, or for her to work under false assumptions.

"Is there anywhere you would like to see? Knowing L.L., you probably are more interested in exploring areas such as the command center."

Also judging her frame given how slender she looked.

"If it would be alright with you, do have any place for training? I would love to be able to pilot an actual functioning Knightmare for once."

Well, that was unexpected.

Training Simulator-An Hour Later

Where in the world did L.L. find this girl?! She absolutely destroyed my four swordsmen without taking a hit.

"I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that your codename is K.K.?" I asked while hiding my shock.

"How did you know?"

"Geass?"

"Unfortunately."

Quite. I have never met an individual that actually liked having a Geass or was completely all there. The power usually breaking the individual do to its unpredictable and uncontrollable nature. Plus the end result of immortality after death was not something to look forward to.

"What kind?"

"Reaction speed I think? Don't know how to use it though. It's gotten me in more trouble than it has helped. Nearly lost because it randomly decided to kick in."

She was working with a handicap?! We could have really used someone like her during the war.

"I have a question."

"Ask away, Kallen."

"Do you worship L.L.?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because what he can do is somewhat replicable. Admittedly I would need to make a bargain with his witch of a mother in order to possibly do so, but it is replicable."

"Yeah... that would be a bad idea."

"Quite. As much as I respect my student..."

"It's not exactly all sunshine and daisies."

I merely nodded.

"So why does the JLF worship L.L. anyways. I get he has mind powers, but what exactly did he do to garner such worship."

"Two things."

She looked expectantly.

"Do you recall the battle that made me famous among our people?"

"Where you earned the nickname Tohdoh of Miracles? The one where your lead the only successful defense?" she asked with stars in her eyes. Someone was certainly a fan. Too bad I had to crush it.

"L.L. was actually the only human to participate in the fight."

"Human?"

Miracle of Itsukushima

POV Random Britannian Solider

"Sir, we need to retreat!"

"Retreat in the face of victory?! I should hang you for suggesting something so preposterous! We're are winning! We're killing fifty of these barbarians for every one of ours!"

"Killing what, sir?! If you haven't noticed, the only thing we've been shooting at what appears to be their dinner!"

"Dinner?! My boy, they are soldiers and barbarians! I know we dehumanize our enemies, but we don't eat them you disugsting_"

"No, I'm mean literally all we have shooting at appears to be boar meat, guts and a variety of vegetables with knives and spears attached to these makeshift limbs!"

"Those barbarians are just trying to scare you, private! I see this all the time. It's all mind games in the face of our superior might. Barbarians know they can't win so they resort to voodoo magic in order to intimidate us. We have them on the run. Just look at the fallen bodies of these savages and take pride and courage in knowing that_"

"There are none, sir!"

"Well, that can't be right. Then what's been killing our men? What's been shooting us?" my superiors finally said with a tone of confusion and concern.

"The vegetables."

"That's preposterous, lad!"

"You don't understand! The food! They come in droves with tiny spears attacking us viciously with a few mounting makeshift turrets to fire guns at us! We can't shoot such small targets in this forest and even if we do, the enemy doesn't bleed! The damn things still keep crawling trying to claw us to death with their tiny limbs! I saw my best friend be devoured by these monstrosities! Oh god! They're here!"

Present Time

"And then we ate curry that night using the remainder of the fighters that fought on our behalf," I said with a haunted look in my eyes.

"Why would you do that?"

"The food committed suicide after finally doing their duty and turned themselves into a curry. It was both the most delicious and terrifying meal I have ever had."

"Wait! How did L.L. give sentience to something like a potato?!"

"He can give sentience to anything with anything that can technically function as a brain. Also, that's what you ask second? After the concept of us eating suicidal sentient food flavored with the blood of our enemies?!"

"I literally don't know which concept was more reality-bending or disturbing! Now answer how L.L. did it!"

"He actually gave sentience to a pickle first after spending a week of connecting a rat brain to a pickle and forming enough neural connections so that it could see and talk. He didn't add limbs at that time on the off chance that his creation would try something to kill him."

"Why?"

"He was bored and Suzaku was avoiding him after the Prime Minister died of alcohol poisoning."

"So he wanted a friend? Couldn't he have talked to literally anyone else in the base?"

"He was Britannian."

"Right... I forget that matters sometimes."

"It shouldn't. But it did, and in an odd twist of fate, it worked in our favor. He completed his project a short while before the battle and gave life to something we now fear."

"You fear a sentient pickle?"

"It was smart enough to construct a factory to build our army and found a way to completely block out L.L.'s mind powers before escaping."

"Something smart enough to defy god hacks and it's still out there?!"

"It is indeed. If you ever meet a sentient pickle named Pickle Rick, just tell it that you know L.L. and that he doesn't want to get in his way," I said gravely. We lost too many men trying to hunt down this thing for daring to spit in the face of a deity. It was only fortunate that Pickle Rick was kind enough to let us send a messenger to him to convey our new SOP.

"Okay, what was the second reason?"

"The second reason?"

"For why the JLF worships L.L. as a god. It must be something if creating a sentient army of food wasn't good enough."

She has a good mind if she can remember that I mentioned two things after dealing with this new information. I can see why L.L. has fallen for this girl. She can keep up. I approve.

"You know how he has all the information regarding anything human stored in his brain?"

"Yes."

"He also has access to every known and forgotten recipes to make alcohol. People only started realizing that our drinks were coming from him during our celebration after the battle."

"So he's the God of Alcohol, L.L. (G.O.A.L.)?"

"No, he's the God of Spirits."

I hated puns so much, but I'll be damned if it didn't work this one time.

"Wait... Didn't you mention that the Prime Minister died from alcohol poisoning? Don't tell me..."

Very smart. L.L. has good taste in women. I wonder how he managed to convince her to date him and how the reveal of Geass came about. Something to ask later.

"His alcohol was legendary," I said in revery as I remembered when I first partook in this divine drink.

"So he inadvertently killed the Prime Minister? Suzy-Suzaku has a reason to dislike L.L.?"

"Beyond the rivalry, gender misunderstanding, mind fucks, being Britannian, being the son the Prime Minister wish he had had instead and a whole lot of other issues, yes. Suzaku has ample reasons to dislike L.L., but the death of the Prime Minister was not on that list. Suzaku said thank you to L.L. after the battle."

"He what?"

"Suzaku said thank you to L.L."

"For killing his father?!"

"More for what happened because the Prime Minister was gone as well as his agenda and what L.L. did next."

"What did L.L. do?"

"He convinced all of the Japanese still fighting to stand down and go into hiding."

"He did what?! But he told me the reason we are suffering more than any other Area was because we didn't keep fighting long enough!"

Whoops.

AN:

1: Now I want you to imagine if C.C. gave Pickle Rick a Geass and then the code of immortality.