AN: This takes place… let's say near the Beginning of Season 6. It's kinda AU for both Naruto and Homestuck but there still may be spoilers. Anyways, in this story the universe our favorite teenage gods create at the end of the story is the Narutoverse. It surprises me that there aren't more Homestuck crossovers out there because I feel like Homestuck is a pretty easy story to use in crossovers. All you need to do is blame paradox space, time travel, or general shenanigans and you're still pretty much in character.

"Are you ready my Lord?" The silver-haired man asked with a steady voice and a face turned forward, gazing over the village that was soon to be invaded. "Our scouting mission could prove more problematic than we thought, what with Lady Tsunade using a constant patrol of jonin as a shield."

"Don't worry Kabuto, there're a bunch of us here. We won't let anyone lay a hand on Lord Orochimaru." Another man spoke from the sidelines. There were five people in total. One, the silver-haired man who spoke previously, the second, a man with the eyes of a snake, and three others whose purposes were purely to protect their leader in case of an emergency. He was still somewhat weak considering the time of his next body transformation was approaching.

"Yes I am ready. The village is in sight and besides, all we want to do for now is gauge the dwindling power of this pathetic town." Orochimaru spat, his serpentine lips curling up into a twisted grin.

"Alright then let's go. Keep your eyes peeled for jonin." Kabuto said, beckoning the others to follow, their leader safely in the middle of the pack.

They were nearing the village as they trudged through the forest, the moon high in the sky, its light sufficient enough to illuminate their path.

Suddenly, Orochimaru stopped and soon afterwards the others followed suit. A stillness settled among the group as their senses heightened. A russle of leaves to the left. The sound of the wind whistling through the dark woods. An owl hooting from up above before diving down to devour an unsuspecting rodent. "What is it, my Lord?" Kabuto was the only one brave enough to inquire.

"Something's coming. On your toes." Orochimaru hissed his command in a hushed tone.

That's when they all heard it too – the distinct sound of someone stumbling through the woods. A figure suddenly broke through the bushes.

It was a young man, probably no older than twenty-three or four. He cussed horribly and mumbled something about the 'fucking jungle' as he stumbled forth from the undergrowth. Regaining his balance and looking up, the boy took in the sight of the five spies with apparent relief. "Oh hey look it's people." He said, his manner of speech quick and informal. "Yo so I don't know who you are or what's going on but listen. I just kind of woke up here I guess and I was wondering if you could tell me where I am? I mean if you can't that's fine I guess I'm sure I'll run into someone else eventually. I'd try contacting one of my bros but y'all have terrible Wi-Fi. Like it's seriously a problem. Can't get a fucking signal it's like I woke up in seventeenth century London. Oh god please tell me this isn't seventeenth century London I don't want to meet no Sherlocks or Wattsons those guys sound like hella douchebags. Wait does that even take place in the seventeenth century? Don't answer that question it was rhetorical I don't actually give a shit. Uh yeah… so you can feel free to chip in whenever I guess I tend to ramble a lot anyways."

Orochimaru stared down the strange boy with disinterest. His hair was a sloppy blond, probably tussled by his late night walk in the woods. His stance was lazy and he was dressed in what appeared to be a lavish pair of pajamas and a cape. He did not appear to be carrying any weapons nor did he appear to be of any threat whatsoever. However, he had seen them, whether he recognized them or not. This was a problem that needed to be taken care of sooner rather than later. "Kabuto, you know what to do."

The silver-haired man nodded and pulled out a knife.

"Whoa." The boy said holding up his hands in an 'I surrender' gesture. "No need to get physical here I just wanted some directions."

"I'm sorry child but it doesn't look to me like you'll be needing directions anymore." Orochimaru sneered.

The boy laughed without breaking his poker face – which was kind of impressive. "What oh what the fuck was that? Have I stepped into a really shitty gang film? Sorry dude but that line was almost Egbertian in lameness. Sounds like something that would come out of one of his dumbass chick flics."

"You may be laughing now but we'll see who's laughing when you're lying face down in the dirt." Orochimaru jeered and Kabuto prepared his knife for throwing. The boy, on the other hand, remained stunningly unimpressed.

"Dude come on is that supposed to scare me? It's too damn textbook to be frightening. Look, you guys don't wanna fight with me. Besides, I'm a self-proclaimed pacifist. Let's just leave this be. You guys go scamper off to wherever the fuck you were going at this ungodly hour of the morning and I'll just keep wandering around aimlessly until I find some other assholes to give me directions. We good? I think we're good."

Kabuto waited for the go-ahead and finally, with a malicious grin on his face, Orochimaru spoke his command. "You've got some nerve kid. Unfortunately, it is you who doesn't know who he's dealing with." He spoke with a flat tone. "I think this conversation has gone on long enough."

And with that, Kabuto charged.

PS: I am Naruto and reviews are my ramen. Feed me!