The snow was light, the slightest touch and it would disappear into nothing, just like me. I was so fragile and breakable, maybe that is why I ended up here. The snowflakes landed on my long eyelashes as I looked down from the high building of Ouran High School. It was cold...It was December after all. Today was the 3rd...The time? Around 11 p.m. No one was in sight, they were huddled up in their warms homes with their families. I was here on top of my High school.

About to kill myself.

"Hara, get up! It's time for breakfast." My mother called from the kitchen. My eyes fluttered open, my body heavy. I rose out of bed, passing by my mirror. Long black hair went down my back, it was a mess but none the less, straight. My brown eyes were tired, black circles under them from not sleeping well. I sat there in front of the glass and began to put on some makeup; Mother would be mad if people saw 'her' daughter a mess. After I brushed my hair and put on my yellow uniform, I walked into the kitchen. Mother was standing there, making eggs and toast.

"Finally, you are up." My younger sister spoke, looking at her sickening bright yellow phone. She was taller than me, had short brown hair and green eyes; like my father who had the same features. I remained silent, sitting down across from her. Mother gave my sister hers first, her smile was bright. "Thank you, mom!" She gave her a kiss on the cheek. My Mother had black hair in a pony-tail and black eyes.

She was beautiful for someone who had two kids, she didn't look a day over 30.

Mother smiled, "Eat as much as you want, sweetie." Her eyes then landed on me, all happiness gone. "Here you go, Hara." She sat my plate down.

a single piece of toast.

Unlike my sister's, who had eggs, bacon and two pieces of bread smothered in butter. "I've noticed you have gotten bigger and you need to watch your weight. You must stay skinny if you want anyone to like you." Her words were like little blades. I kept quiet.

"Yea Hara, you do want a boyfriend someday don't you?" My sister spat, her mouth full of breakfast.

A boyfriend? Hell, I just wanted a friend at the moment. My hand subconsciously went to my stomach, feeling the slight pudge I had, it made me feel sick. Mother was right, I was getting big.

Mother joined in, "Oh, A boyfriend would be nice! How old are you now? 18? Surely, there must be someone you like? I don't want people thinking my daughter has something wrong with her to make boys not like her." Boys...I had no interest. I could barely take care of myself, why would I want to care about someone else?

"Speaking about boys, another one confessed to me yesterday!" My little sister, Seika, cheered.

My Mother's face lit up, "Oh really?! That's my baby girl, making people fall for you, left and right." She hugged her tightly.

My sister was beautiful...My complete opposite. She was social, everyone loved her. Good at sports and even cooking. All I had was my grades...Mother says I have to have good grades; she doesn't want people to think she has a foolish daughter... Seika looked at her watch, her eyes widened.

"Time to go! See you later, mom!" She rushed out the door, leaving me behind. I slowly got up, leaving my toast behind.

Mother began to talk to herself, not caring I was in the room. "Why must I have a daughter who is so slow?"

I walked past her and out the door.

It was my 3rd-hour class, I was in the front row, near the window. My eyes were somewhere else, away from the math on the board. I always pay attention, I had to make good grades. Not today... My mind was...Not here. I paid attention to my classmates instead. The group of girls behind me, gossiping.

"Did you hear? There is a new host!"

"Yea, he is super cute."

"We should go, after school and see him."

"I heard one of the girls say his name was Haruhi."

The Host Club..I've never been there before. I wonder what it is like? I don't see how girls can actually like sitting and talk to boys for hours.

I bet they don't even remember your face once you leave.

"Hara, can you answer this problem?" The teacher called on me. I stood up, all eyes on me. I was used to be called on. No one in the class had enough respect for the teacher to listen. So to save himself some embarrassment, he always called me. With ease I answered, luckily, it was something we learned last week. "Good! Perfect like always." I sat back down, hearing my name escape the girl's lips.

"She thinks she is so smart."

"Little miss perfect."

"No wonder no one likes her."

"She should just die."

The bell rung, the girls forgetting me as they ran out. I remained in my seat, looking at my hands. They were smooth and pale; like they've never met a day of hard work. This was true. All I did was study and do what Mother demanded.

Everything was silent, I didn't hear the teacher call my name. "Hara?" Why do I feel cold?

I feel so numb...

"Hara?" I need to feel...I can't continue like this. "Hara!"

I looked up, "huh?"

The teacher gave me worried eyes, "Are you okay?"

"Yes," I put on a fake smile. I got up, "thank you for your concern." I walked out without another word.

As soon as I stepped out, I ran to the bathroom. I slammed the stall door behind me, I pulled back my sleeve; my arm was covered in scars, deep and light. I couldn't feel anything. I need to feel like I'm still alive! I pulled a box cutter out from the side of my panties. I don't wanna be like this...

My hand was shaking, the blade was shiny and stained with blood.

I...I need this.

I placed the blade on my skin, cutting deep into my arm. Immediately, blood began to come out, drops landing on the tile floor. My body began to feel lighter, each drop of blood that escaped me felt like heaven.

"So, did you hear the news?"

I panicked, covering my mouth so my breath wasn't heard. As fast as I could, I grabbed toilet paper, dabbing my bleeding arm.

"No, what is it?"

Please, don't find me... My cutting was a secret, no one knew about it. If they found out...If Mother found out. My face grew pale...I'm as good as dead.

"There is a new Host member, we should go see him."

The Host Club again? What is so special about that club? One of the girls entered the stall next to me, my heart was pounding in my ears. My pulse was racing a mile a minute. My mouth felt like cotton as I tried my best to stay silent. I pulled my sleeve down, covering my scars. I need to leave. Once the girl finished, they left the bathroom. A sigh of relief escaped my lips, thank god... Right when I was about to leave the stall, another person entered. I was frozen in place.

It was one of the girls from my class, "So what are we going to do about Hara?" Oh no..."I'm tired of her being on top of the class."

"Same, we should cut her hair. She needs to look ugly." My hair... I liked it long. Mother said I should cut it short.

Boys like it short.

However, I know the real reason; she wants me to be like Seika.

"How about we cut her face?" One of them laughed, "No one would care about her if she had an ugly scar."

I grabbed my arms. I already have ugly scars. If anyone knew... I don't know... I accidentally backed up into the wall, causing it to make a thumping noise. Oh god... One of the girls peeked through a crack in the stall door.

"Speak of the devil." They surrounded my stall, "come out little Hara, we wanna play with you."

I looked away from the door, my heart going crazy with fear. What do I do?! Someone, please! They busted it open, three of them looking at me with pure hatred, yet they were smiling.

One of the girls pulled out a pair of scissors, "I was gonna cut my friends hair today but it looks like you need it more!" She laughed.

No, please...I grabbed my hair protectively. They got closer, pinning me against the wall. My box cutter was behind my back, my knuckles turning white from gripping it so tightly. They were laughing like hyenas about to kill their prey. I don't want this..!

She went for my hair and I snapped, "Don't touch me!"

In a split second, the girl screamed in pain as I cut her hand. I wanted to scream. Red blood dripped from her wound like water. It was deep. Her friends grabbed her, to see if she was okay. I didn't waist a moment and pushed past them.

I ran out of the bathroom, everyone looking at me with surprise. I ran until I was close to my next class...I was sweating, my face lacking all color. It looked like I had seen a murder.

Suddenly, a hand was on my shoulder. I jumped back with a gasp. "Hara, are you okay?" It was just Nitsuo, my 4th-hour teacher... He had pulled back brown hair and calming black eyes. He was at least in his late 20's. He was someone the girls admired in the school. Since he was single and always knew what to say to everyone.

Including me.

"Y-Yes..." I stuttered, my body was shaking. What will they do..? What is going to happen to me?! What have I done?! Two gentle hands squeezed my shoulders, making me look at him; tears threatening to spill. He looked concerned, a frown on his face.

He spoke calmly, "What is wrong? You can tell me?" My mouth wanted to open, I wanted to desperately tell him what I have heard, what I had done but I couldn't. I was speechless."Hara-"

The voice of the principal range out, making my heart drop.

"Hara Figumitsu, come to the office immediately." He did not sound happy. Nitsuo patted my head, not helping me at all.

"Go see what it is, it will be okay. Come talk to me if you have anything on your mind." His words left me feeling a little secure. He said I could talk to him... I nodded, walking towards the office, my hand grabbing my dress for dear life. Ignoring the peering eyes from everyone in the halls.

"Daddy, my hand!" The girl beside me cried, her hand bandaged up from the nurse. Her dad looked angry, a calm but death glare was fixed at the principle.

"How could you let this happen to my girl? I thought about this being an upper-class school, I could feel safe leaving my daughter in your care." The principle was collected, giving me looks every now and then.

He sighed, "I assure you, sir, that I will do everything in my power to fix this."

The door opened, my Mother standing there."What is it? Are you okay, Hara?" She asked. I couldn't look at her, my eyes fixed on my shoes. She took a seat beside me, noticing the crying girl beside us. "What in the world?"

"Your poor excuse for a daughter, cut my little girl's hand," He growled.

She cried, "I just wanted to fix her hair and she attacked me! I was just trying to be nice!" Such a liar...

Mother's face for a split second showed anger.

"I am so sorry, my daughter is on medication and she must have forgotten it today." She lied, not even trying to defend me.

The principle thought for a second, "Mrs. Figumitsu, what happened today, I will look past if it is alright with them." He looked at the crying girl and father.

The dad was about to argue, but his daughter grabbed his hand. "It is alright, father, I forgive her. It was an accident."

He looked shocked, "But darling-"

"No, it is alright." She kissed his cheek. He smiled, letting the incident go.

The principle looked pleased, "Then that is that. Now, please look after your daughter more closely." He spoke to my mother.

"Of course, sir." She bowed, leading me out of the office.

When I closed the front door, Mother stood there silent. I was sweating and my breath low. I was afraid to say anything or even move. She turned around, touching my cheek. "Now honey..." Her smile faded, "How dare you make me look like that!"

She slapped me hard, sending me to the ground.

"I looked like a fool! My own daughter made me look like an idiot! What will everybody think of me?" She walked away, pulling her hair. I scrapped myself off the ground, walking to my room, holding my cheek.

I couldn't fight back.

Closing the door behind me softly I went to my bed, laying down. I'm sorry Mother...The door opened and she was standing there, a look of death. She wasn't done with me. "Hara, why must you be like this? Why can't you be more like your sister? You were my worst mistake." She then left, leaving me to drown in her words.

I felt heavy...I noticed my arm was wet. I looked at my sleeve, it was stained red. Oh no...My cuts opened. I rushed to my bathroom, patting my arm with a towel. They must have reopened when Mother slapped me and I hit the floor. I glanced at my dress, I hope washing it would get the stains out. Once done, I folded it to hide the blood. I will wash it later...I walked out, seeing my sister sitting on my bed.

"I heard what you did today." She smiled. I was frozen, hiding my arms behind my back. "I knew you were crazy, sis." I'm not crazy...

I whispered, "I didn't mean it..."

She got up, to stare into my eyes, "What was that?"

I repeated, not looking at her. "I did not mean to do it."

She growled, "Oh yea? Why should I believe that? You are nothing and I bet you wanted attention." I didn't want that... "Since you know, Mother loves me more." It was becoming harder to stay up, her words weighing me down. She giggled, bending over to whisper in my ear. "No one would notice if you died."

Those words again.

If I just died...

She left after that, laughing like she just finished watching a comedy.

If I was to die...I believed her words, no one would care if I just disappeared. I didn't have any friends, I never was popular or social. I was the smart kid who did nothing but study.

I...Need to study...

I have a test on Friday. Mother will be mad if I fail...I went to my desk, looking at my math book. I don't remember how long I stared at the book until I noticed I was crying. How much longer must I go on like this... I don't wanna live like this...

No one would notice if you died.

Her words ring in my head.

No wonder nobody likes her.

I covered my mouth, not wanting anybody to hear me. I can't do this anymore...

It was late, everybody had gone to bed. No matter how hard I tried to get the thought out of my head, I couldn't. It prevented me from falling asleep. I wanted to just fall into a nice dream and never wake up. However, it was too late for that. Letting my brown eyes wander, I looked out my window, the snow coming down at high speed. I was still in my pj's when I decided I wasn't going to do this anymore. I decided today was my last.

I didn't want to live anymore.

I wanted to die.

Opening my window slowly, it was like a portal to hell, there was no turning back. With a deep sigh, I jumped out, landing safely outside my apartment. I felt a slight pain in my ankles as I jumped out of the second story window but the snow was enough to break my fall. I ignored the throbbing, covering myself with my blanket, trying to keep the snow from soaking my clothes. Where was I going to go? I looked around until I saw the tall building in the distance.

Ouran High school.

There...I will go there. I ran as fast as I could, my breath becoming ragged. My throat burned from the cold, I didn't care. It wouldn't matter in a little bit. No one was outside in this rough weather. I was a single soul, it had been like this since I was born. No one around to help me. I was completely alone.

I was in front of the school gates, not letting them being locked stop me. I climb over them, not caring that the sharp parts dug into my calves; whatever warm liquid that went down my thighs quickly froze over. Once over, I began my way to the front. Of course, it was locked too. Hold on, the emergency ladder on the back of the building. It was put there in case there was a fire and people could flee to the roof of the building. I walked to the back of the school, there was a huge garden that was currently frozen over. It would have been nice to see the snow melt and under all of it would be beautiful flowers. I pushed past some bushes to reach the ladder. I slowly placed a hand on it, this was it.

I began my climb.

Once I reached the top, I calmly walked towards the front. Looking over the city with tired eyes. Every house was lit, families all cozy inside them. I noticed my apartment, the lights were turned off, everyone was asleep. No one knew where I was, no one would care. My feet were close to the edge, the breeze from being so high slapping me in the face. The snow was harsh, my blanket was soaked. My ankles were sore and my thighs ached.

"I wonder if anyone will miss me?" My last attempt to change my mind escaped my lips. No one came into picture...No one would care. I was simply here to make my mother look good, to be a filler for this world. I was not the main character, I was nothing but someone to fill in the background. I brushed my soaked hair behind my frozen ear. It was time, no point standing here in the cold. I took a deep breath, my last one. With a single step forward.

I fell.

There's a poll on my profile for anyone who is interested! It's about Hara and what do you think, will she live? Or remain dead?