Back then… Everything was perfect. Well… As perfect as things could get during a war we were forced into. The only trouble we really had back then was trying to keep our relationship a secret from the Vatican and everyone around us, and then the war, obviously. But we didn't care about the fighting. We were both strong, two of the strongest in the Vatican though not the best. At least not I. He was strong, though… Strong enough to be considered a General.

But you had to stop that.

You… You ruined everything. You ruined his chance at a real life. You made him hated by people who were once his friends. You made him hated by everyone who once would have given their lives for him. Nobody trusted him, all because of you. You made him hated by nearly everyone. All but me…

I know the difference.

There's him… And then there's you.

He's the good. The angel that with a mere smile would brighten anybody's day. He radiated happiness, kindness and everything good in this godforsaken world. Even Yuu would feel lighter, happier by that smile though God forbid he admits it. It was impossible to hate him. He was a light in the dark that never seemed to blink out.

But you... You managed to snuff out that light by barely making yourself known and caused everything to change. Suddenly, an angel had turned into a devil. He smiled but nobody thought it innocent. Everyone thought of it as him trying to play them. Trying to use them for whatever malevolent scheme they believed him to be piecing together. When really, all he wanted was for things to be as they were before you.

He never had a chance at a normal life and as soon as he started to believe he had that chance, you came and shattered it.

But I can't kill you. I could never kill you. No matter how much I want to. No matter how much I want to strangle you, stab you, burn you... No matter how much I want you to suffer. I could never do it. For one reason and one reason alone.

You wear his skin. You control his body. You walk around with his face and go by his name and pretend to be him like he's still around! And because of you, he isn't...! He's gone... and never coming back... All because of you...

The only good thing in this world of black, white, gray and red... The only good thing... The only true radiance... Was from him...

He was able to show even a heartless fool like me that there was more to this world than the fools who fight for a reason even they don't understand. The men who murder under the name of "God" and "for their country". Or the bystanders that pretend that everything is fine while a few miles from their home is war, murder and bloodshed being committed for the most idiotic of reasons.

He was able to show me that there were people that could go through so much and still come out of it with a smile and perfectly sane. Any other person who had gone through what he had would have gone mad... Yet he learned from it... And became strong. So, so strong...

And that's what I loved about him... His perfect imperfectness. I loved everything about him. His intricate scar that held a curse that would cause any grown man to cry from what it shown on a daily basis. His gentle and soft white hair that made him look like an old man to any stranger but, at the same time, seemed to make him look even more angelic. His soft, pale pink lips which showed a smile that would easily lift your spirits, even on the worst of days. His smooth voice, as light as air, softly demanded your attention without you even realizing. Even the Innocence, that had embedded itself in his left hand and caused his arm to be pitch black. The Innocence that he hated and loved at the same time.

He was so imperfect that it made him perfect.

I can still remember the fear in those beautiful silver eyes, which could have acted as mirrors, on the day he found out about you. The day he found out who he was. What he was.

A Noah. The enemy. And the mysterious 14th no less. The supposed traitor that he feared would hurt me and everyone else in the Vatican. All the people he still considered his friends even after you destroyed what they thought of him.

He didn't want a single person to be harmed by him. Be it he in control or not. He didn't want any human's blood on his hands and you couldn't even let him have that much...

Even after finding out he was a Noah, I still loved him. It was just something new and different to add to his list of amazing oddities. Something to add to what made him stand out from the rest. Stand out from the other boring or insane people that surrounded me on a daily basis.

I loved him even though I knew what he was and I made sure he knew that. I promised that the two of us would find a way out of this. A way to fix all of this and keep him in control. I didn't care if he was still a Noah, as long as he was still him.

But as the days passed... I started losing hope... Feeling as if my promise would be nothing but a lie that wouldn't ever be fulfilled. I gave him a hope that quickly turned false when you decided to rear your head.

And as soon as you showed yourself... I knew he was gone.

I denied all of it and spent days on end searching for a way to bring him back. The old panda thought I had finally given up on fighting him and decided to do my work. When really, I was searching any and all records of the Noah for any signs or chances of bringing him back. I found everything. Even more than I had wanted. More than what I expected. But not a single word nor letter as to reversing the process...

I missed him... Every day… With every breath, with every blink of my sole emerald eye, with every clench of my empty hand, with every beat of my broken heart… I missed him with my heart, mind, body, and soul…

My heart still beat for him no matter how broken and shattered it was. My mind still thought about him and dreamt of the day I might see him again. My body begged to feel his smooth porcelain skin under my rough, calloused hands, even if only for a hug or to simply hold his hand. My soul... wanted nothing more than to be with his. To feel that calm, lovingness that was always there...

I'm slowly got used to a cold and empty bed in the morning and I never liked that... I'll never be used to having no hand to hold... I never got over the fact that I only saw your eyes, heard your voice, saw your movements... All instead of his...

I've lost count of how many times I've begged to be able to use his Innocence, his Sword of Exorcism, to rid this world of you. Because as soon as you're gone... He'll be back... This much I know... And that'll be the best day of my life...

The day I get him back... I promise you, I wouldn't let go of him for a month and only then would it be to get on one knee to ask that infamous question. I wouldn't give a damn if anyone saw or knew... That question would be a promise and reason to stay... It would mean I'd never lose him again... Even if he said 'no' and didn't wear a ring, he would know that someone had faith in him. That someone still cared enough to wait this long and try so hard... He would know that someone would be there for him... Always…

But instead of him... I had you... And I hate that... But what I hated even more... Is that all I could do was sit there and wait for the day he came back... Even if only for a minute... That's all I wanted... A mere minute... Because that would mean he's still in there and the chances of him coming back would have been so much higher...

I'm supposed to be the next Bookman... A heartless man that acts as a walking history text... And not once since I took on this job those years ago did I ever feel any emotions other than apathy towards anyone I passed... But he changed that...

Back when it was once only us, I felt what I shouldn't have... Happiness, love, joy, passion, interest, curiosity... All over one person... My heart felt liberated and almost as light as his voice whenever we were close... But apart... I felt lonely, depressed, bored and abandoned... And now, those emotions have only grown...

I cherish every single memory I had with him...

Now here I lay... Tired, weak and powerless on the ground with his body, controlled by you, hovering above mine... And I'm not sure what hurts more... The knife in my chest... His hand wrapped in a tight grip around the handle... Or that I'm just now seeing his eyes, filled with pain, fear, sorrow and tears as my vision slowly fades and my body goes cold...

I take in a deep breath, ignoring the pain that comes from the movement of my chest and speak as loudly as I can, even though it comes out as a mere whisper.

I see him freeze up and with the last of my vision, I see him return... You're gone... But now so am I... And I know there's no bringing me back...

So much I wanted to say... But with so little breath, all I could say was one sentence...

I love you, Allen Walker.