Coffee Shop Hazards

It had been three nights ago, the full moon, but Remus still felt a burning ache in all his limbs and his new scars itched terribly. On days like these, a suppressed yearning emerged; for Sirius' wild laugh and mischievous grey eyes; for James' blokey, heartfelt phrases of reassurance; for Lily's tacit understanding.

He only knew one surefire remedy for his current, piteous mental state: Eleni Mesmer. The lady herself was now in her sixties, a bohemian artist, now settled with her third husband. Eleni was a muggle, who'd given birth to and raised a wizard son as a single parent. Dumbledore had seen to it that the boy attended Hogwarts and little Jerome grew up to become a famous, successful and wealthy Quidditch player. In her gratitude, she set up a café for wizards on low income and served them food and drink that wouldn't shame establishments with triple the price tag of her own. Her coffee was legendary as was her cake trolley.

The café was tucked into a little alley behind Holborn Tube station. It's heavily carved wooden tables, cosy booths and tablecloths adorned with birds and flowers in primary hues would not have seemed out of place in turn of the century Budapest. The almost louche frills on the lace curtains always made Remus grin. As he went in, he noticed that there were currently few other customers, an elderly wizard in torn robes, and a pair of skinny teenagers, probably students.

He ordered a large black filter coffee and surveyed the cake trolley. A chocolate ganache sponge gleamed enticingly in the middle of white Italianate columns of mille feuille and luscious strawberry and forest fruit cheesecakes.

'A large slice of the ganache, please.' Remus smiled courteously at Eleni's newest assistant. The girl, probably an art student, had dyed jet black hair and sported heavy black eyeliner.

'I'll bring it over.'

The girl's smile was perky. She had a sharp, elfin face that would wear sarcasm and contempt well yet she was being very friendly. Although Remus knew they were used to shabbily dressed men at Le Poisson Rouge, he always felt embarrassed by the sorry figure he probably cut, with his lanky limbs, prematurely greying hair, his scars and his stained mackintosh. Eleni only employed girls and they were all so young and vibrant.

'Thank you. I'll be over there.' He indicated a table to the left side.

Once sat down, he brought a hardback out of his canvas satchel. He'd held down a part-time day job at a muggle bookshop for the past few months, managing to schedule days off for the full moon but it didn't pay much. To supplement his income he was writing reviews for a muggle newspaper under the name of his friend, Richard Castle, a best selling author. Richard found the reviewing tedious so he'd passed it on to Remus as a favour. He'd assumed that Lupin was gay, like himself and that the condition he suffered from was stigmatised. Remus felt a mild guilt at the deception. He could just imagine Richard's elegant face crumpling into confusion if he even attempted to tell him the truth.

The book in front of him was a lyrical novella about a man who might or might not be a ghost visiting his hometown friends, loves and enemies. Remus had found it gripping from the start. It would be a pleasure to do it justice in the review. He was absorbed in the protaganist's encounter with his first girlfriend when the café door banged open and a customer hurtled inside.

'Merlin's beard, it's a swimming pool out there!'

Remus did not look up from the book. He had noticed the advent of the rain, rhythmic, relentless, a sonic melody adding to his sense of cocoon like comfort in the café.

'Tonks! I didn't expect you so early – I'm still on shift? Do you fancy a brew while you wait?'

The raven haired assistant was a down to earth Northern lass at heart. Remus smiled as he took a sip of his own wonderfully flavourful coffee. He glanced up briefly and saw a flash of lurid pink hair and a quirky heart shaped face. Probably another art student. It wouldn't do to gawp. He looked back down at the page. This scene was really beautifully written.

The girl called Tonks strode down the middle of the café swinging her rucksack. As she neared Lupin's table, she stumbled and the bag went flying. It landed squarely on top of the half remains of the ganache and sent the coffee flying to the floor. The cup, a sturdy china mug, bounced heartily. All Eleni's crockery was charmed not to break.

Lupin sighed and put down the book.

The girl was staring at her cake-infested rucksack with a look that oddly mingled amusement and despair.

'I'm so sorry. I'm the biggest klutz in the cosmos.'

Her eyes were a darkish petrol blue, large and round to almond shape. Her fleshy nose flared slightly at the tip and her lips curved in a bow. She was wearing purple eyeshadow and had a delicate silver nose-ring. Her t shirt depicted an emaciated guitarist and bore the legend 'Weird sisters.' Slim, strong legs were engaged in bright green jeans.

Remus was irritated. He was also curious. Something about her did not suggest art student in spite of the undergraduate get-up.

'Perhaps, not in the cosmos. That is rather large and unknowable,' he remarked drily, hoping to lighten the mood with a joke.

'Are you taking the piss?' she asked. 'I am really sorry.'

Now she looked quite upset. Those expressive eyes were slightly moist. She bit her full lips.

'No, I didn't mean to take the…I mean that was my fuddy duddy attempt at humour. I'm afraid your rucksack has eaten the rest of my cake. It will need a good wash. It's ok. I can get a replacement.'

She frowned.

'For my rucksack? I'm not worried about that. I'm glad you didn't get hot coffee all over you. I really am dangerous at times.'

Remus smiled at her. She was earnest and rather amusing. And cute. No, he didn't just think that. She couldn't be more than eighteen. He may have a seedy raincoat but he wasn't the sort to leer at girls far too young for him.

'I meant I can buy another coffee and cake, actually.'

He handed her the rucksack.

The assistant came over.

'Oh, Tonksie, love. Up to your old tricks. I'll give that a wash down in the back.'

'Can I have another order of the same?' Remus asked, still impeccably polite.

'I'm paying for it,' Tonks announced.

'No, you don't have to.'

'Yes, I do.'

'Well it isn't necessary.'

'I want to. I ruined your tea.'

'Well…it really isn't…alright,if you insist.'

Remus was quite unused to people forcing chivalry on him. The girl had such a forceful way with her and he could tell she wanted to feel better about the display she had made. He might be in post transformation mode but it would be churlish to reject a simple act of generosity.

Tonks waltzed over to the assistant and handed over some cash. She then strolled back to the table and sat down opposite Remus.

She held out her hand.

'Since we're on coffee spilling acquaintance I should introduce myself – I'm Tonks.'

He hesitated for a split second and then took hold of her fingers, which were surprisingly warm and soft, free of jagged gothic rings.

'Remus Lupin.'

She pumped his hand up and down, which seemed rather surreal.

'That's all latiny. It suits you. So, Remus. Do you mind if I sit with you while I wait for Elsa to finish her shift?'

Remus gulped. 'Um….I….er.'

He was very afraid he might be blushing. What did this peculiar girl want with him? Why couldn't a shabby old lycanthrope go to his favourite café, eat his favourite cake and read without being accosted.

'Oh Merlin – I'm annoying you. Please, carry on with your reading. I don't know what I was thinking – told you I was a klutz.'

Tonks jumped up and eyed the options. A sudden slew of elderly couples had taken most of the remaining tables.

Remus smiled. She was quite sweet and it wasn't as if he didn't have plenty of time to finish the book.

'It's fine. Please stay. You're not annoying me. Actually I just wondered why you'd want to sit with me. They get a lot of the young, dashing up and coming artists in here.'

She snorted.

'Yeah. And they all think they're Merlin's gift. One of them called me a fascist because I'm an Auror.'

Remus blinked. This quirky waif was an auror?

'Auror in training.' She smiled at him. It was a very young, very proud smile. It produced an odd sweet sensation in his chest region.

'Well, that's quite an achievement for one so young..'

'Nearly nineteen. My steath and tracking's crap as you can imagine but my magic's strong and I can do this.'

Her hair changed from pink spikes to turquoise ringlets and her eyes were now inky black pools.

'You're a metamorphmagus!'

'Yeah. I wonder if it's what makes me clumsy. Like I have no real shape, you know? '

The assistant arrived with two coffees and two slices of the chocolate cake.

'Give Remus the bigger one, Elsa.' Tonks ordered.

Elsa tutted but duly gave Remus the slightly bigger brown rectangle.

'First name terms I see,' she said, swatting Tonks on the arm.

Tonks batted her away. She looked faintly flushed.

Remus was puzzled.

'I would have offered you some of my cake you know,' he said.

'Which would have been very gentlemanly of you in the circumstances. I'm not one of those girls who pretends to not eat cake then eats all of her boy…all of someone else's.'

Tonks was indeed scooping up a largish blob of the gooey heavenly mess.

When she had consumed it, she asked, 'Why were you surprised I wanted to sit with you?'

Remus choked slightly on his coffee.

'You ok?'

He nodded and cleared his throat.

'Fashionable young teenagers don't usually want to hang out with dishevelled boring, old…book reviewers.'

Tonks looked at his shirt and tie.

'You're not dishevelled. Or old. I know you have grey hair but you're not that old really, are you? And book reviewing isn't boring, it's cool. I may not look the part but I love books. Book nut here.'

Remus raised a sardonic eyebrow. He was at a loss. She was so open and frank. He was very flattered and felt compelled to hide it.

'I merely meant older than you. By a generation. For instance, what books do you like? Books by angry young punk rockstars?'

Tonks shook her head.

'No, grandpa,' she said 'I prefer classics. Muggle and wizard classics. Some fantasy, yes. That old Tolkien bloke. Poetry. I love poetry. William Blake is banging.'

Remus couldn't help it. He laughed heartily and spluttered some of his coffee. One of the elderly couples looked around and tutted.

'William Blake is indeed, banging, I would agree. If I knew what banging meant.'

Tonks had a mischievous expression.

'Oh you've guessed what it means. You can't hide your intelligence, Remus Lupin. There's a gleam in those eyes of yours…'

'That's probably incipient cataracts.'

'You like feeling sorry for yourself, don't you?'

Tonks paused to slurp some more cake and looked up.

Remus paled at this. His polite smile did not succeed in concealing his unease.

'It was another sorry attempt at humour. I admit I've not been at my best these past few days.'

Tonks put her slightly stubby warm hand on his and gave him a brief soothing pat. He almost jumped out of his seat.

'That sounded horrible. I didn't mean it like that. All I meant was…I think you're essentially a sophisticated, charming, intelligent bloke. You're not a stuffed shirt…you're just feel safer pretending to be one.'

She coloured a little and took a sip of her coffee.

'Whoops –sorry about the pretending to be a stuffed shirt bit.'

Remus tilted his head.

'Well obviously I'd have to pretend otherwise there would be endless hordes of fashionable young girls queuing up to douse me in cake…'

She was regarding him with a quizzical expression.

'Would it surprise you to know that Elsa thinks you're tremendously hot?'

'it wouldn't surprise me: I would be astonished. She's only served me twice.'

Tonks grinned.

'Elsa likes a thoughtful bookish man. She says you have kind, sensitive eyes and a beautiful voice and a killer smile. I may add she's in love with her boyfriend so don't think you're in or anything. And she would probably kill me for telling you all that.'

He shrugged. 'Isn't there something a little queasy about the older man younger girl trope anyway? Why do people assume that men crave young flesh?'

Tonks made a moue.

'Loads of men like older women too. It's the experience thing , isn't it? Not just physical. So you only date women your own age?'

'I don't date Tonks. I work in a bookshop, struggle to pay my rent and I review books pretending to be someone else. I'm not the world's most employable and women like prospects more than erudition. Not blaming them for that, by the way. Can we just talk about books, please? What's your favourite Blake poem? I love the Tiger and the one about the charity boys singing.'

'I like Auguries of Innocence. A robin redbreast in a cage puts all of nature in a rage. But why don't you date? And why aren't you employable? You could do anything you liked.'

Tonks was frowning, her arms crossed.

Remus sighed.

'I have a…a condition. I'm not well enough to work all the time and employers don't like that. '

He drained his coffee and pushed aside his cake plate.

Tonks went pale as Remus pushed back his chair.

'I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to interrogate you like that. This bloody auror training.'

He was standing up.

She reached out and touched his arm.

'Please don't be angry with me…I'm like a big kid sometimes. I ask all these questions.'

She was blushing and picking at a purple fingernail.

'I like you. I'd like to see you again. I've been insensitive today but now I know about your condition….' She dropped her voice.

'The scars. It was the full moon three days ago. You are really intelligent but you say you're unemployable. I think I know what condition you're talking about. I am so sorry for having interrupted your cheer up ritual. I am a complete idiot sometimes.'

She stood up, reached up on her toes and kissed him gently on the cheek.

'Please forgive me. We've met before. I looked different. I was on a case and I had to find a rare spell book in Mulligan's. You served me; you were brilliant, so kind and patient and knowledgeable. It took an hour to track down a copy. I wanted to meet you again, Remus. I described you to Elsa and she told me that you come in here, usually early in the month.'

Remus was staring at her.

'You were the old lady who wanted that banned Aleister Crowley spell book?'

'Yep. I thought the Somerset accent was good.'

'it was. You're good.'

He sat down, nearly missing the chair. He was starting to wonder if Elsa had put something hallucinogenic in the coffee.

'So you've been hoping to find me? Why didn't you come into the bookshop and just talk to me?'

'I was on a case. It's not allowed. Remus, it sounds naff but I was thinking of starting a book club for wizards who also read muggle literature and I thought you'd help. I don't have much time off. I go to see the odd band and I go to pubs. I'd really like to have some people to talk to who see the point of reading. Maybe once every two months.'

He took another spoonful of cake.

'I could help you with that. But you're an auror – can you be seen in the company of…someone like me?'

'I'm not prejudiced. You're not on the dark side, that's obvious. The attitudes to…what you have…they're just ignorance.'

Remus smiled.

'I've never met anyone quite like you, Tonks.'

'A cake-hurling foot in the mouth type, you mean?'

'Now you're feeling sorry for yourself. Which I should be now I know you only want me for my book learning.'

She waggled her spoon at him.

'What else would you want me to want you for, Remus?'

'Nothing else, Nothing else at all. By the way, did Elsa really say all those things about me or were you just flattering me to further your nefarious book club plot?'

'Elsa didn't say those things, no. But I wasn't buttering you up either.'

She was licking her spoon.

'Can you knock off the Lolita impersonation? You wouldn't do that in your reading circle, would you?'

'I don't know, Humbert…whoops, REMUS. It might be just right for some kind of book clubs. But I'm not planning that kind, never fear. '

'So did anyone say those ridiculous things about me?'

'Someone thinks those things about you. And they're not ridiculous. But I'm a good friend so I wouldn't tell you who it really was.'

She got up.

'Where are you going?'

'I think that we should share the last piece of that cake. It's a small one so don't protest.'

Remus watched Tonks bounce up to the counter and wondered if his blood pressure was going to return to normal within the next hour. What had he got himself into? He could feel his inner Marauder wriggling and stretching to be free. Outside the sky was igniting, a sunset as vivid and incongruous as the pink spikes surrounding his new friend's face.