So this is my first attempt at any Steven Universe fic. I LOVE Pearlmethyst (and Amedot, to a lesser extent-they're like my BROTP :D), and I love PEARL especially, but NOT her obsession for Rose Quartz. My goal is to create a story in which Pearl gets over Rose Quartz (read: not forgets, because I'm sure she could never. Just, you know. Gets over her, opens up her heart to others) and realizes her feelings for Amethyst, most likely with substantial 'help' from her friends. I may also incorporate some side pairings (though Ruby and Sapphire are a given, right? Since Garnet is in this?) later on...ANYWAY. Please read, and review! I hope you like it!

We Imperfect Creatures

Prologue: Roses Leave Thorns

Amethyst kind of hates Rose Quartz.

Well, I mean.

She loves her. Of course she does. Everyone does. And if it weren't for Rose Quartz, Amethyst would've stayed in the kindergarten, alone and abandoned forever.

But at the same time, she really, really doesn't like Rose Quartz.

Rose Quartz did a lot of good things. She saved Earth, for one—rebelled against everything she'd ever known and loved for this tiny, insignificant space rock and its (stupid, fragile and weak, if you asked Pearl) inhabitants. Gave up her home and her title (and, ultimately, her life) for the equivalent of complete strangers.

How could you not love somebody like that?

But Rose wasn't perfect. Of course. Nobody was. But still…the fact that she was so kind and loving almost seemed to magnify the flaws she did have, and their effect on all those who loved her.

Pearl.

For all that Rose loved humans and everything to do with them, once she became involved in their tiny, insignificant lives, she…well, it didn't seem that there was room enough in her heart to fully love both them and those closest to her. Amethyst didn't mind that so much, but…

Pearl.

Amethyst had known since day one of her adoption into the Crystal Gems that Pearl loved Rose Quartz with everything she was, even if she didn't quite understand what love was, not yet. And it hadn't bothered Amethyst. Of course it hadn't.

(Not at first.)

When Amethyst was young, it was Pearl who cared for her, who made sure she was okay. Sometimes Amethyst thinks back on those days and laughs until she can't stop (until she cries), thinking about herself, young and rambunctious, (literally) bouncing off the walls, and about prim little Pearl, chasing after her, scooping her up just before she got to that nasty sludge that lived under the sink, or fell off the cliff outside of the temple. She had loved to see Pearl get flustered, absolutely loved it.

Moreover, she had loved it when all of Pearl's attention was on her, whether it was scolding her for nearly cracking her gem or cuddling her all night when she had a nightmare (being Pearl, and being painfully logical, she'd first suggested that Amethyst simply not sleep, but Amethyst had been so stubborn that she quickly abandoned that approach and simply sighed, collecting her into her thin, yet surprisingly strong arms).

They all taught her things, of course. Rose taught her to stand up for what she believed in, even when nobody was on your side. Garnet taught her to be strong. Ruby and Sapphire, the few times she ever saw them, taught her to love, and Pearl…Pearl, she supposes, taught her why.

Because Pearl was everything. She was strong, brave, clever, beautiful (oh, god, was she beautiful, even when she wasn't, when she was snotty or prim or jealous)… There was nothing, Amethyst had been convinced at the time, that Pearl could not do.

And then (and then), Rose met Greg.

Amethyst liked Greg. He was nice, and funny, and he always had treats with him. She liked his hair, and his singing, and his guitar. Not all of the Crystal Gems felt the same way, though. Really, she thinks, it should be Greg that she hates, because in hindsight, that's where all this began, but she just…can't. He's so sweet, so unassuming, so flawed but so full of love and she can't….but Rose was too, wasn't she? So why…

Rose had, of course, liked Greg too, but in a very different way than Amethyst had. They'd disappear for long times together, and when Rose came back, she'd always seem a little different. Most of the time she'd be happy, laughing and spinning Amethyst around in the air when she ran to greet her. But sometimes she'd enter the house without a word, eyes somehow tired, and Amethyst would hear her crying in her room, where she thought nobody could hear. But even then, she was happy.

Garnet was…wary, of Greg, and of humans in general. She'd been shunned many times for her mere existence, by friends and strangers alike, and it was not in her nature to trust easily. But then, one day, Greg had walked into the temple just after they'd gotten back from a particularly trying mission, when Ruby and Sapphire had been torn inside her head, forcing her to defuse right in front of him. Rose had stood up when she saw him, eyes full both of calm and fear, and Pearl had jumped in front of Ruby and Sapphire, her spear drawn, and Greg… Greg had stood shocked for a long moment, but appeared to shake himself out of it. He had approached the two small gems then (Ruby pushing Sapphire behind her) and held his hand out to them, asking, "Are you okay?"

And Garnet liked Greg, too.

As always, Pearl was…a different story.

Pearl hated Greg. Everything from his long, unkempt (but soft, Rose would insist, giggling, and Pearl would scowl, if possible, even harder) hair to his height to his very existence seemed to irritate Pearl. When Amethyst would run to greet him, Pearl would yank her off the ground, away from him, always making some salty remark in the process, her arms tight around Amethyst's midriff. Amethyst, who loved both of them (in different ways, but she'd been too young to care back then) had been happy, with Greg over to play and Pearl's strong arms wrapped around her. And then Rose would come out, all smiles and laughter, and they would all play, except for Pearl, who would sit back, sulking, until he left.

(It was only later ((but not much)) that she would begin to wonder whether Pearl would only cling to Amethyst like that because she couldn't very well do it to Rose.)

As the months turned to years, Rose grew more and more distant. More and more, Garnet became their leader. More and more, Amethyst began to mature. And more and more, Pearl's heart broke for watching Rose run off with some stupid human and forget about Pearl entirely. Pearl no longer coddled Amethyst, or played with her, and even her reactions to Amethyst's teasing were incredibly understated. She spent virtually all her time seething in jealousy over Greg's closeness with Rose, and the rest of the time, when the two weren't around, she was sulking around the temple, thinking of all the ways Greg might be 'trying something' at this very moment.

Amethyst supposes that she began to dislike Rose when she was still alive, when she was old enough to understand at least some of why Pearl, her beautiful, confident, overprotective Pearl, was slowly breaking to pieces. Garnet told her one day, when Amethyst had bothered her enough, about Pearl (about pearls, in general), about how she had been a gift, and about how Rose had encouraged Pearl to be somebody. Garnet told Amethyst that they'd been together, once—or, rather, that they'd never really not been together. Pearl had, apparently, always loved Rose Quartz, and Rose…well, Rose loved everybody, and sometimes her comfort of Pearl would blur the lines, and then comfort turned to touches and touches had turned to muffled cries in the night and—

Amethyst had slammed her hands over her ears at that point, and Garnet had looked at her with all of Sapphire's sympathy, pressing a large, gemmed hand to her thigh, about to say something when Pearl had waltzed in, on a rare high from spending the entire day with Rose. A look of concern had quickly replaced the expression of bliss flooding her features, though her gem continued to glow faintly, and she'd trotted gracefully over, sinking to her knees beside Amethyst. She'd reached out to touch her, and Amethyst had cringed almost imperceptibly, because not now not now not now I can't not now. Then Garnet's voice had rang out imperiously just before Pearl could make contact. "Pearl."

The pale hand stopped, long, slender fingers curling anxiously toward Amethyst, but Pearl was unwilling to disobey Garnet's wishes.

Amethyst had run, then.

She'd run, and she hadn't stopped until she was absolutely positive that Pearl wouldn't find her, buried in a pile of stuffed animals and mattresses high enough to register as a mountain. She'd curled up in on herself and cried. She'd cried all night, all the next day and the day after that. And when she finally stopped crying, her eyes aching and her throat feeling like it did that one time she'd swallowed a rock that was a little too big for her, she'd just laid there. Just laid there, in her own mind.

On most occasions, her mind was a place Amethyst would much rather not visit, but here, alone, in her room, sure that Garnet was keeping Pearl busy and away from her (not like Pearl would try very hard to come after her, if she did at all, a voice in the back of her mind had sneered), she didn't bother to fight against the thoughts that consumed her.

Pearl, her Pearl (my Pearl, the words Rose had uttered so many times, echoed through her mind, and suddenly Amethyst's heart twisted painfully in response to them)...she'd never really loved Amethyst. Amethyst didn't know why she'd treated her like that, coddling her and babying her—perhaps she felt sorry for Amethyst. Stubby, purple fingers curled into a fist. Whatever it was, it wasn't that she'd ever truly cared for Amethyst at all—it was obvious now that there was only ever room enough in Pearl's heart for Rose Quartz.

After that day, Amethyst's relationship with Pearl morphed more and more into what it was in the present day. Amethyst wasn't sure Pearl had noticed the change at all, just that it had, at some point, happened. In only a few short (short) years' time, Rose announced her pregnancy, keeping it a secret until the last possible moment (from all except, of course, Garnet, who let things be) what all that would entail.

And once Rose was gone, for good, Pearl broke, completely. The only reason she remained at all was for the promise she'd made to Rose, to care for and protect Steven.

Gradually, Pearl did return to herself. She bickered with Amethyst and coddled baby Steven (and Amethyst would never admit it but she really was horribly jealous of him), clinging to Garnet's arm every time she got a little flustered.

But inside, she remained just as completely in love with Rose Quartz, just as utterly devoted to her ghost as she had to the living version.

Amethyst kind of hates Rose Quartz.

She will always love her, of course. How can she not? Rose was perfect. Rose was good. Rose was everything.

Gross.

But she does wonder…can you dislike somebody for being too perfect?

Because Amethyst really, really dislikes Rose for that. If only Rose had been a little more flawed. More decisive, or a little less naïve—hell, Amethyst would even prefer outright meanness over the false hope she watched her give Pearl over and over and over again without even being aware of the pain she was causing.

But all that…all that, perhaps she could forgive, if Pearl had gotten over it over time. But of course she hadn't. Amethyst was pretty sure she didn't even want to.

"I hate it when she gets like this."

Amethyst dislikes Rose for being too kind, for giving everyone the wrong idea, for cheating on Pearl for years right in front of her face (even if it was because she didn't know any better).

Amethyst dislikes Rose for stealing her sweet, caring, overprotective, nerdy Pearl away from her, for causing her to feel twisting, gut-wrenching jealousy every time Pearl mentioned her name in that stupid, simpering voice ("Rose Quartz").

Amethyst dislikes Rose for a lot of things.

But Amethyst hates Rose for leaving. She hates Rose for making such a mess of everything, and then just leaving, like it was no big deal. She hates Rose for not apologizing for what she'd done (even though—no, even more so because Rose never knew that she'd done anything wrong), for leaving without even thinking about Pearl, or giving her closure.

Because now, just as it had been forever, Pearl had no room in her heart for anyone but beautiful, kind, loving, perfect 'Rose Quartz', and Amethyst still has like, a negative zero chance.

Amethyst hates Rose Quartz because she's not even alive and now, instead of Amethyst losing to a gem who is clearly her better in every (every) way, which held at least some dignity, she's losing to a painting on the wall.

And more than anything, Amethyst hates Rose Quartz because she taught her to see the good in everyone, and now, even after all this time, Amethyst still loves Pearl so much. She still sees the flustered gem who would chase her all around Beach City in her bob cut and legwarmers with a shirt in her arms because Amethyst had, once again, left the temple without wearing one; still secretly longs for Pearl to chase after her like she used to when they have one of their stupid, stupid fights that are now the only way Amethyst knows to get Pearl's attention.

She knows that good, polite gems shouldn't speak ill of the dead (even though, technically speaking, Rose never actually died), or indeed, of their leaders.

But Amethyst never has been a good, polite gem.

Not like Rose Quartz.

A huff of laughter escapes her lips.

She wouldn't be Rose Quartz, even if she could. More than anything, she just wanted Pearl to say that she didn't need Rose—that she had gotten over her, and was ready to love Amethyst with all her heart.

But she never would.

Because of Rose Quartz.

Okay, I KNOW it's depressing and sounds bitter. The reason for that is that this is the prologue—I wanted to start off by giving a background for the story. In my headcanon, Amethyst is in love with Pearl, and bitter because Pearl never seemed to have room in her heart for anyone but Rose Quartz. Amethyst already has self-esteem issues, as we know, and I feel that these would exacerbate her bitterness, because not only is she not good enough, but Rose is basically perfect.

HOWEVER. This is just the prologue. The story will be told in third-person POV, and will not be this introspective. This will not be a drama piece, I promise! It may have some hurt/comfort at times, and probably WILL, but at its heart, it will be a romance fic, will appearances (and, hopefully, side pairings) from many of the other gems.

SO. Please read and review! I'm starting externship tomorrow and I've already made a stupid mistake before my first day, so I'm trying to draw this night out as long as possible by writing fanfiction :P