Hey guys! So first off, thank you for giving this story a go! I apologize if it sucks, kinda my first fanfic so im gonna need some nice pointers. Everyone may seem a little OOC and im sorry for that but oh well. I'll try to update weekly but dont hold your breath :) I'm real excited to see what you guys think so thanks for reading and enjoy!

Blood? Check. Got that vile of blood right here in my hand. Right next to the...

Pills. Now where did I put that container? There. Next to the sink. I should have enough. I even stole Elena's meds to make sure it'll work. I wonder what it's like to die. I guess this is as close to death as I can be without actually staying dead.

Pop. I pull out a single painkiller and smile at the irony. Painkiller alright. I look up at the mirror and take in the person staring back at me. The reflection looses it's smile as I notice how exhausted I am. My hair's a mess, I've got bags under my bloodshot eyes, It looks like I haven't eaten in days. I hate this. I hate missing and mourning everyone I love. My parents. Vicky. Anna.

Anna.

God I miss her. I can't believe she's really gone. Apart from Vicky, Anna was the one for me. I know that sounds cliche but that's how it feels. She brought out a side to me that was buried alongside mom and dad. She made me feel so many things and made me want to live. That I had something to live for. Whatever love is, I really think I felt it for her. I love her. Always.

That's why this isn't as hard as I thought it would be. If I do this, I don't have to feel the pain anymore. The pain of their deaths. The pain of just living life. I've wanted to do this for awhile just never followed through with it. Although last time didn't involve the whole 'coming back' side of it. That's why I'm doing it this time.

Alright. Let's get this over with. Watching my reflection, I swallow pill after pill after pill and the next thing I know the whole container is empty. I down the vile of blood and wince at the iron taste. Gross.

Not long now. It won't take long for the drugs to kick in. I walk out of my bathroom and make it to my bed just as things get a little blurry. The bed creaks under my body weight as I lay on my back, staring into space.

The edges of my vision are really blurred now. I can't quite focus on anything. The colors around my room swirl together and make all sorts of different shapes. I'd move my arm to reach out for my glass of water but I can't seem to move anything right now. My whole body feels numb. I don't feel anything physically. I feel... peaceful. In a strange way I don't want this feeling to go away. I wonder if this is what it feels like to OD; be at peace and in a bliss before the darkness takes over my vision and soul. My last thought in this world was of her. She always ends up in my mind whether or not I notice. I close my eyes and relive all the weird conversations we had, the sweet kisses we shared, even that one night we spent together hiding under my sheets.

I'll see you soon Anna.

I dream.

I dream of Anna. I dream of Vicky, Bonnie, my parents. I dream of Elena and I even dream of Damon of all things. He tells me to forget about Vicky. To let go of my pain and focus on study and school work. I listen to him and do as he tells me like he.. he compelled me.

"Jeremy!" Someone calls out to me, invading my dreams of angels and demons. "Jeremy wake up!" I don't want to! I think, all the while holding onto Anna tighter. Never planning on letting her go. I'm in the middle of a great make out session with the one I love. Go away Elena. Great. Now she's shaking me.

I gasp awake and startle Elena who was standing not a meter from me. Whoa. She looks worried. Her eyebrows are frowning and she looks like she's seen a ghost. Damon stands by the door and his eyes narrow at me as the seconds tick by.

"You did it didn't you?" He asks even though it sounds more like a death threat. I turn to Elena and just as we make eye contact, she says something I can't make out. The sound of something else overpowers what she tells me. It sounds like a drum beat. Bu-bum, bu-bum. My eyes widen as I realize what it is. where- who it's coming from. It's Elena's pulse. Oh god. I never realized before just how hungry I am. I'm so... thirsty. I quickly tear my eyes away from her throat so she doesn't notice anything. Damon on the other hand, strolls over and cups his hand around my face aggressively.
"Damon!" Elena shouts next to him. "What are you doing?! Get off him!" She tries to pull him away but he doesn't budge. He looks me right in the eye and in that moment, I know that he knows what I've done and I'm terrified. What's he gonna do? He can't kill me Elena's right there. Hasn't stopped him before. A small voice in my head tells me.
"He's in transition" Damon states and stand up, releasing my face.

I glance at Elena and my heart breaks at her broken, shocked expression. I never wanted to hurt her I just couldn't handle everything anymore. I hate seeing the disappointment in her eyes. She clearly hates this idea of mine. Go figures. She hates every life choice I've ever made. She has no right to judge me. She's the one in love with two different people! I narrow my eyes at her and look away before my sudden anger gets the best of me.
"Go on" I say to her without turning around. "Lecture me on something I can't take back" silence. That's all I get from her. I bet she's giving me one hell of a look right now.

God I wish I couldn't hear her heart beating. It would make this situation so much easier. I never really thought how much blood meant to a vampire. Blood. I can only imagine the sweet taste filling my mouth. The feel of it running over my lips and down my throat. Drowning in blood. Delicious, rich, blood.

Damon pulls me up on my feet roughly. He pushes me past my protesting sister and out the door so fast my feet could barely keep up. I get thrown into the side of a blue Camaro and get growled out to jump in. I do as I'm told as I don't want to be ripped apart. I try not to make eye with him as he starts the car engine.

My throat feels so dry and I can feel just about everything around me. Every single, tiny noise pierces my skull in agony and has done since I woke up. The sound of Elena judging me never hurt so much before. The car jolting in every pothole causes mini explosions in my brain. I grip the armrest until my fingers start tearing through plastic wondering where the hell Damon is taking me.

Damon kidnapping poor little Gilbert. What could possably happen? My involve some bro bonding in the next chap: Well This is Fun...

Until next time! x