Me: Should I even be around here? I feel like someone out there is gonna kill me. Well, okay. Hai! I know, I'm never around to begin with, I'm a horrid person, what the blooming hell happened to Ficmas? Well, life did. I'm probably not going to do Ficmas anymore, just like holiday themed fanfics every once in a while because tbh 90% of the fic on this account is Ficmas related. Why? Well, time to wake up the characters!

Kaoru: Why are you here and please go back to wherever you came from.

Butch: Not agaaaaaaaain! Jeez fangirl, pick on some other characters once in a while…

Me: Yas guys I'm going back to my roots after so long; are you excited? Cuz I'm excited and I've already written like 4 chapters and I kinda like this and I've been working on this fic for so long that my freaking handwriting has shifted through it and I have all these ideas and this might be the one…

Kaoru: The one what?

Butch: The worst fanfic you've ever written?

Me: *glares at Butch* I will actually hurt you, dickwad (oh yeah, we're cursing in this fic). Also this might just be the first complete multi chap story!

Everyone: *gasps*

Kaoru: That- that's a huge statement! Are you sure?

Me: I don't know guys, but I've been getting some good vibes from this one… Anyways, sorry for the long author's note, but I hope you enjoy!

ALSO this is super un-canon when it comes to powers and such. My idea of it is that their powers (PPGZ and RRBZ) were unstable during the series and required a conduit (aka the yo-yo, bubble wand, and hammer for the girls and the… whatever the guys had for them) but now as they've aged and their bodies have adapted to the chemical Z, their powers have changed as well. Instead of a belt and a funky transformation scene, they have a ring which they use to transform, but they like don't need it to use their powers. Gone are the old outfits, the new ones are tbd for them mostly, and they have powers like if Starfire and Raven from Teen Titans were meshed together.

The three dots mean a scene change/time jump; the long bar means a perspective change. Italics can mean thought, just use your judgement.

Shit Happens

Chapter One: Cute, Very Vintage

Kaoru thumbed her controller almost mechanically, her eyes taking in the cartoon apocalypse on her screen. It was the third time she had played through this video game but hey, it was her favorite. The music changed from classic zombie-shooter to doom bringing as the boss limped into the frame. Her lips curled into a smirk as she fired combo after perfectly-executed combo, each shot hitting the mega zombie again and again. As the zombie boss' HP bar creeped farther and farther into the half-way mark, the ring on her right hand began to glow. With a loud groan, she tossed the controller to the side, wincing at the mechanical "Low HP!" coming from her television. She touched the silver band, and her comfy sweats and tank top dissolved into a light green racerback with black bicycle shorts and matching sneakers. Kaoru, now Buttercup, leapt from her window, and took to the sky.

Mid-flight, she tapped the ring again, this time calling the Utonium lab. Ken picked up, a hologram of the young genius wavering above her palm. "What are we dealing with?" she asked.

"The RowdyRuff Boys Z, as usual. They're robbing a bank, not too far off from where you are. I'll send you the coordinates- Miyako 3 'o clock!" Kaoru turned her head to see her fellow blonde superheroine.

"Kaoru-chan!" Miyako grinned, speeding up beside her.

"Miya! It's the Ruffs again," Kaoru replied, rolling her eyes. Damn the Ruffs and their constant bad boy-ing, she thought with gritted teeth. Miyako wrinkled her nose in annoyance.

"Again?" Momoko then flew up beside the duo, her rose-pink eyes aflame with disgust.

"Who else would it be?" Miyako groaned. They finally reached the scene of the crime, where the boys in question lazed about.

"The usual split-up, right?" Kaoru asked, cracking her knuckles.

"Of course," Momoko replied, and the three raced towards their counterparts.

. . .

Kaoru was flung into a building, her feet crunching imprints in the dark brick. She wiped the sweat from her brow, and launched herself off of the building. Her eyes glowed jade and she blasted bright energy at the idiot in question. Momoko and Miyako had already finished their little battles, them and their counterparts staring at the intense battle occurring. Only Butch could push her this hard, only he could force her into stalemate so often. God, she fucking hated it, especially with how fucking easy he made it seem.

"Oi Butterbabe, let's not aim for the hair, m'kay?" he smiled lazily, narrowly dodging the last eye-blast.

"I hope you burn in hell," she snarled. He had the audacity to cock his head back and laugh loudly.

"You're adorable," he grinned. They circled around each other dangerously, energy crackling green underneath their skin.

"BUTCH," Brick finally shouted, "let's dip. You two will never stop anyways." The three flew off, but not before Butch ruffled Kaoru's short raven locks and playfully winked at her. As he flew away, Kaoru turned, fists trembling. She then let out a yell and slammed her fist into a nearby lamp post.

"That. Fucking. ASSHOLE!" she raged, flying off with haste. The lamp post swayed dangerously, let out a mournful shudder, and fell upon its side. Oh well… battle damages, right?

. . .

Kaoru squinted against the golden sunlight. She had decided to take a walk along the New Townsville promenade, and was getting nothing but discomfort. Her earbuds were firmly planted in her ears, and Panic! At The Disco was playing, lightening her dismal mood at least a little. She occasionally glanced at the other people along the path, but her eyes mostly stayed in the ground. Suddenly, she heard a high-pitched yelp. Looking up, she pinpointed the noise's maker as a guy in a dark green hoodie. Leaning into him was Himeko, a girl who was a right bitch to Kaoru during the past school year. "Butch," Himeko crooned, leaning closer. Her chest was almost flush with his. No freaking way…

"Listen, Himeko," he laughed nervously, taking a step back, "not to say you aren't a great girl – you're fine actually- but it's just that…" Himeko's smile got impossibly wider. Kaoru cracked a smirk. Butch, yelping, being hit on by Himeko. The perfect punishment for the resident asshole! He looked so flustered, so uncomfortable! She stopped to watch the comedic display unfolding. After a couple seconds, however, her conscience came out to play. I mean, at first it was funny, but now it was just pitiful. She sighed and cursed her heroic instincts. Then, she sauntered forward.

Butch grinned weakly at Himeko, who was batting her too-long lashes at him and grinning maniacally. What could he do, what should he say? If he turned her down bluntly, she'd start a scene, and he was trying to lay low. If he let her down subtly, she would totally read into something wrong, and assume he reciprocated her love. His head spun at the conundrum. All of a sudden. Arms wrapped around his midsection, and a girl popped up next to him. "Hey babe, you're early! Wait… Himeko, is that you?" Himeko backed off immediately, glaring at the mystery girl, and he turned to glance at the new addition to their conversation incredulously. "If you want her to get off your case, you'll play along," the girl muttered, before smiling again.

"Babe," he played along, "you came, finally" He then turned to Himeko, and smiled apologetically. "You see, Himeko, what I was trying to say was that I'm already in a relationship."

"Kaoru…" Himeko gritted out, smiling in a pained manner.

"That skirt, is it new?" Mystery Girl (or Kaoru, apparently) asked. Himeko looked down at her puce tartan miniskirt.

"Um, yeah, it is actually," she replied. Kaoru nodded with a smile.

"It's cute, very vintage," she complimented.

"Well um, I should leave you to your date. Bye!" Himeko finally broke, sprinting off in the other direction. The two quickly separated, and Butch gave Kaoru a small nod.

"That skirt is the ugliest effing thing I've ever seen," Kaoru finished.

"Thanks for helping me out with that one," he said, turning to leave.

"Um, excuse me? Is that all? A quick thank you and ditch?" she asked, hands planted firmly on her hips. Butch rolled his eyes. Obviously this girl didn't know who she was talking with. Maybe a little intimidation would fix that?

"Listen chick, you don't know who you're dealing with," he warned, his eyes flashing dark emerald. Usually that was enough to scare people off, but not this girl.

"Of course I do, Butch. The real question is, do you?" she replied, her eyes briefly flashing jade green. His eyes widened in shock, before narrowing angrily.

"Puff," he said. She smiled like a cat who cornered her prey.

"Ruff," she countered mockingly. "Now, we have three options here. One, I could yell 'Oh look, a RowdyRuff!' and blow your cover- "

"Who's to say I have a cover?" he shot back. Kaoru rolled her eyes.

"You would've blasted her into the next galaxy if you didn't," she smirked. Damn, she was good. "I could also call Himeko back onto you. She might hate me, but I can assure you she likes you more." He paled at all of her options. She then tapped her chin innocently, waiting for his reply.

"Aren't you going to say the third option?" he downright snarled. Her eyes widened in mock fear.

"Well aren't you angry? Careful, your powers are getting a little out of hand." He glanced downwards to see his emerald energy crackling about him. Butch took a few deep breaths, and the energy subsided. Her grin became more shit-eating at her ultimatum.

"Or… option number three, where you buy me dinner, on Friday, no complaints and no funny business, since I was gracious enough to save you from Himeko and keep the police off your back. Also, before you think about running; I can't beat you, but I sure as hell can stall you, and three Puffs can easily take on one little Ruff." Check and mate, her trap had been set. There was no getting out of this one.

Kaoru smirked to herself with glee. She trapped him, and she trapped him good. He glared at her for a couple seconds, and then sighed. "Sure, whatever. Dinner on Friday, I guess. Hand me your phone." She tossed the phone to him. After a couple seconds he tossed it back, a new contact added. "Text me the details later this week." With that, he turned to leave.

. . .

When he got home, his phone rang, showing a number he did not recognize. "Hello?" he asked.

"Hi!" a familiar voice replied. His brows furrowed.

"Puff?"

"Ruff," she replied. He let out a tired groan.

"What do you want?" he growled.

"Just checking that you gave me a legit number, also you need my number, don't you?"

"Whatever Puff. Remember, Friday."

"Of course, Ruff. How could I forget when you're treating me with such a wonderful meal?" She let out a chuckle, and the call was over. And thus, the adventure began.

. . .

"How the hell are you not a spoiled brat like Himeko? Like, look at these!" Miyako exclaimed, holding up a pair of Louboutins. Kaoru shrugged, flipping through her video game collection.

"My parents don't stand for the whole 'I want everything' bullshit. Those were a pre-Christmas gift from my mom. I had to wear them to a Christmas gala some famous person was holding and I nearly died." She gave a little frown and rearranged two disks. Miyako stroked the shoes lovingly.

"You poor babies," she simpered, "You've probably been sitting there collecting dust, haven't you? Thank God we have the same shoe size! I'll wear you all the time, don't worry!" Kaoru rolled her eyes at her blonde friend.

"Damn Miyako, they're just a pair of heels…" Miyako gasped, glared at her, and finally shook her head.

"Oh Kaoru, you're such a fetus. You'll never understand."

At around 5, Kaoru's phone rang, and she quickly picked up. "Hello?"

"Puff," Butch gruffly replied.

"Ruff," she replied, reclining in her chair.

"What time should I pick you up?" he asked.

"Give me an hour," she answered, opening up her closet door. "Dress casual."

"Sure, whatever. Bye." The phone clicked off before she could respond.

"Rude," she huffed silently. She then glanced into her closet. What to wear?

. . .

Butch was outside her house at 6 'o clock on the dot when he dialed her number.

"Ruff," the Puff replied.

"Puff," he played along, "I'm in front." The phone clicked off without a response, and she burst out of the house, walking towards his pickup. Butch had to admit, she cleaned up nicely. Though she looked quite alright in her Puff outfit, the girl was looking better in the grey tank, denim shorts, beige leather jacket, and white slip-on Vans. Of course, not that it mattered… She slung open his door, grinned deviously at him, and entered the truck with a slam.

"'Sup Butchie-boy," she greeted. Please, break my truck; it's not like I'm buying you dinner.

"Butterbabe," he replied, attempting civility.

"Have you ever heard of Luci's, the pizza place?" Butch gave a curt nod, and made a U-turn back onto the road.

. . .

At the counter stood a smiling plump lady with strands of grey weaved through her brown hair. When she saw Kaoru, her smile got even wider, and she called out, "Ah, she lives!" Kaoru grinned back and went behind the counter to give the woman a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Mama Luci!" Kaoru exclaimed, her arms tight around Luci.

"How's my prezioso* doing? You doing good in school?" Luci asked, tapping Kaoru on the chest.

"Yes Luci, I'm doing just fine-oh, and that's Butch," she introduced, waving Butch over. Luci's eyes grew wide.

"I see, my prezioso has a little amichetto*, eh?" she winked saucily, nudging Kaoru's side with a shoulder. Kaoru became bright red as she swatted the older woman. Luci turned to Butch and whispered theatrically, "Keep my prezioso close, alright? She makes the best zeppoles and her tiramisu? To die for!"

"Mama!" Kaoru cried, her ears a deep beet.

"Alright, I joke, I joke…" she relented.

"And anyways, Luci, he's not my… my amichetto, okay?" she stammered.

"Such a shame, he's molto bello*," Luci shrugged, dusting her hands off upon her apron. "So," she said with a clap, "what'll you be having?"

"We'll have two medium pies, one half-and-half cheese and pepperoni, the other Hawaiian style. We'll also take a case of Cherry-Lime Izze," Kaoru ordered.

"That'll be 30 dollars," Luci finished, and Kaoru turned to Butch with a bright smile. Butch ground his teeth and put down two twenties.

"Keep the change, Mama," Kaoru added. The two began to leave when Mama called out

"To stay, right?' Kaoru grinned.

"Of course! We'll be in the black pickup." Once they were back in the truck, Kaoru smiled saccharinely at Butch. He was really beginning to hate her smiles.

"We have to move the pickup; the view is horrid here. I'll direct you, kay?" Butch face-palmed tiredly.

"First you spend my money, now you tell me to move my car? Prison was a better choice," he lamented as she snickered in the passenger seat.

Kaoru got the pies, drinks and climbed unto the back of the truck. Butch clambered in beside her. "Let's eat," she exclaimed, as he opened the first box of pizza. The scent of the cheese and pepperoni was borderline orgasmic. Kaoru grinned lazily and took a piece of pizza, the cheese making a long, beautiful trail from the box. After taking a bite and humming contently, she glanced over at him.

"You hungry?" she asked, gesturing towards the box. He, in response, grabbed a slice of pepperoni.

"Why are we here again?" he asked, taking a bite of the pizza.

"You'll see – yay, it's starting!" she exclaimed, pointing forward. He then realized that in front of them was a classic, old-school movie screen.

"What're we watching?" he asked, but he was quickly shushed.

"It's Thor," she whispered, turning back to the movie. As they watched, Butch began to realize just how well she knew Thor, as her lips silently mouthing the lines. He also realized that he had been staring at her for a long time. His face grew hot, and he took a harsh swig of his drink, consequently choking. She barely even spared him a glance. He turned his attention to the movie, and thought, oh well. If the movie's on, why not?

. . .

The movie was over, end credits and all, and Kaoru glanced up at Butch awkwardly. "Um," she began, words suddenly leaving her.

'Well?" he asked, the corner of his mouth quirking up into a half-smirk.

"I had… I had fun. Thanks." As she scratched the back of her neck awkwardly, he cracked a stupid grin.

"You're adorable." She scowled in response.

"No I'm not." The stupid grin grew wider.

"So cute."

"Shit-face."

"Lovable." A grin grew on her face.

"Asswipe."

"Butterbabe."

"Bastard," she said, punching him in the shoulder. For once, she didn't punch to hurt him.

"Puff," he replied, turning to fully face her.

"Ruff," she playfully growled. The grin on his face was shit-eating.

"See ya, cutie," he suddenly ended, walking back to his truck. She rolled her eyes and flew away.

{end chapter 1}

Me: Keep in mind this is unbeta'd, if anyone wants to change that PM me, because I typed this in one sitting and 7 pages is too much for me to edit right now. But guyssssss. 7 pages. 3000 words. For one itty bitty chapter. How did I even manage? I hope you enjoyed, and the next installment might be up on Monday, but legit only because I have a day off so I have time to do these things, though I might write instead so I have more cool stuff to give you guys to read.

A bit of info, the PPGZ are 17, and the RRBZ are 18. This is set in May I think? Like I'm not sure but it's late spring-early summer kk? A lot of the scenes just make more sense like that. Also New Townsville is like Brooklyn kind of (?), Kaoru and her family live around an area that's more like Bensonhurst and Dyker Heights, like where the old money is ya feel? New citiesville (which will come up later) is kind of like Manhattan with Park Slope and Fort Greene mixed in as well... if you don't know how these places look/where they are, look them up!

I hope you enjoyed, aand if you did, R&R! I will try my very best to stay on top of this fic because I really like how that chapter turned out! Fangirl out~

*- Italian translations

prezioso: precious

amichetto: boyfriend

molto bello: very handsome

I don't actually remember where I got these translations from, so please tell me if any are wrong!