Chapter One: I Think I'm Happy

The sun is shining brightly outside my window and the birds are tweeting oh-so-cheerily, but I just can't wipe this scowl off my face. I slam down the hairbrush and huff, making my sorry excuse for bangs lift up and float around even more, taunting me with their rebellion. Stupid cowlick. I'll never be ready for the party this afternoon at this rate! My eyes drift pettily towards the scissors.

No! That will only make it worse… calm down, Amy. You remember what happened last time. It's just hair – no big deal. What does it matter if my bangs don't lie flat? It's not exactly the end of the world. Besides, Sonic even told me it looked cute once, that time it just wouldn't lie flat under my winter hat and kept peeking out instead. I mean, sure, I was like twelve at the time and cute isn't exactly I'm going for these days… I can't have Sonic treating me like a little girl forever. Whatever Amy, get a grip. This isn't Sonic's day, anyway – this is my day! My birthday, to be exact. Sweet, sweet sixteen, at last.

The thought brings a smile to my lips again and lights up my reflection in the mirror. Then I look around the room. My room. A new year, a new apartment, a new me.

I decided to move out about a year ago. Of course, I loved living in the tower with Sonic and Tails… we used to have so much fun together; between Tail's tinkering and projects, Sonic's antics and Eggman's crazy plots, we had a blast. Well, most of the time, at least. Sometimes. Heh, who am I kidding? Truth is, Tails was only really around half the time and Sonic even less than that. He never could stay still for more than five minutes. Sonic is like the wind, he won't be slowed or tamed or caught, and I'd always have to make the choice between being alone and lonely, or trying to keep up with him. He's so fast, and always out of reach… it seems like I've spent half my life chasing after him incessantly like the stupid girl I am – was. Was. New year, new living space, new me – remember?

Anyway, Rouge was right – I needed some space. I needed some time. I needed to – as cliché as it sounds – find myself. If I ever wanted Sonic to treat me as anything other than a silly, love-struck little girl, then I had to start acting like something other than some silly, love-struck little girl. So now, here I am, finally on my own and doing my own thing. And, honestly, I think I'm happier than I've ever been.

There are still some boxes piled up in the far corner, waiting to be unpacked. Between my shifts at the bakery and delving through thrift stores for cookie cutters and pretty bracelets, I haven't had a lot of time on my hands. But still, I'm mostly moved in now, which is great. Although, I think I might want to switch the bed and the dresser around again… maybe push it up against the corner and move the dresser beside the window to free up more floor space? Oh, then maybe I could get that rug I saw on the high-street last week and place it between them! I haven't quite burned through all of my savings yet…

I rush over to the pile of boxes, my hands rummaging through all of the crap that I didn't realise I had. I just know there's a stack of photographs in here somewhere that will look great pinned up on the wall over the dresser. My fingers have just clutched around the chunky paper envelope that I think the photographs are in when the doorbell suddenly rings. Surprise numbs my fingers and it falls into the box again.

"Huh? Who'd be calling by at this hour?" I whisper to myself, looking at the clock as I walk past the bed. It's nowhere near time for the party… I quickly grab a hair-tie on my way past the bathroom and shove my hair up unto a quick bun – better to look deliberately dishevelled than an accidental wreck, I think, rolling my eyes. I step over a couple more boxes and trip over a lone boot on my way to the door.

"Hello?" I begin saying as I unlock the door and peep around it. Then I swing it open, a pleasantly surprised grin all over my face. "Oh, hi! What are you doing here, Shadow?"

The midnight-black hedgehog stands out in the hallway looking simultaneously strong, proud, aloof and above everything around him yet also unsure of himself, as though he isn't quite certain he if should be outside my door at all. He clears his throat and fidgets with the ribbon around the pot of delicate yellow flowers in his hands. "I heard it was your birthday today," he states.

I laughed. "How could you not? I've practically been singing it from the rooftops for the past month and a half."

"Hm. Well that may have been a more… pleasant reminder than Rouge's threats to attend the party or else miss it on pain of death," he smirks.

"She didn't? Oh, she's awful!" I exclaim with a laugh, imagining the exchange in my head. It wasn't often that Sonic, Tails and I were called in to help with GUN's business, but on the occasions that we were, we'd been able to see Shadow and Rouge at work. Their professional dynamic was… well, interesting, to say the least. "I hope you didn't pay her any mind."

"I rarely do," Shadow replies flatly, scratching his temple. "Unfortunately, I leave this afternoon on a mission for the commander, so these are an apology as much as a gift," he explains, holding the flowers up before him and handing them out to me.

I take them carefully into my arms and their subtle, gentle fragrance washes over me. They're so cute and dainty. "Aww, you really didn't have to. But – thank you, Shadow – they're really lovely," I add quickly, seeing the uncertain look in his eyes again.

"You're welcome."

"…So, umm, would you like to stay for a coffee or some tea or something…?" I offer, after a few seconds of slightly awkward silence. I glance behind me at the boxes in my chaotic little lounge and scratch my head. "I err, I think I remember which box the kettle is in." I suddenly feel very young and disorganised, standing here offering tea to the ultimate lifeform with nothing but a loose bathrobe over my pyjamas, wearing the kitty slippers Cream gave me for my birthday last year, with a serious case of bed-hair and no idea where the kettle is. I'm hardly fit for serving guests of any kind. Silly girl.

Once again, Shadow smirks, seemingly able to read my mind. "Ah, thank you, but no," he replies coolly, beginning to step away. "I'm sure you have a lot to be getting on with, as do I," he says while checking his watch and straightening the regulation GUN agent's tie that I know he hates wearing.

"Oh, please," I whine, temporarily forgetting my bed-hair and kettle-less state. It's been ages since I really talked to Shadow, he's so busy – but I don't want him leave again so soon. Otherwise, chances are I won't see him again until the next time the world as we know it is in danger again which, to be fair, happens way more often than it should. "At least come in and have a look around," I bargain, gesturing with my free hand around the lounge. "You're the only one of my friends who hasn't seen the place yet!"

Shadow simply stands in the hall and folds his arms, expressionless. Then he raises an eyebrow. I step to the side, opening up the doorway and raise both of my eyebrows right back. Before he even sighs and rolls his eyes, I know I've won.

"Fine," he mutters, stepping stiffly past me and into the lounge. He really needs to learn how to loosen up.

"Yes! Okay, so prepare yourself for the grand tour! This here is the lounge," I say, pointing out the obvious and gesturing around the room dramatically as the front door closes behind me. Then I notice the state of disarray it is in. "Ah, jeez, I forgot that I still have to take those down to the recycling hub. Well, anyway, the couch is somewhere under that stack of empty boxes," I explain, waving my hands at it. "And I'll be moving it over to that corner once I've gotten rid of the TV set. It was here when I moved in and I really don't want it."

"Mm-hmm," Shadow tones automatically.

"Would you like it?" I ask hopefully with a sideways smile. The sooner I can be rid of it, the better.

Shadow frowns. "…No."

"Darn. Ok, never mind. Anyway, so I'm planning whitewashing the walls and then filling this one up with posters and photographs. Over here I'm gonna set up my stereo. Through that door there is the bathroom and my bedroom. If you think it's messy here then you don't even want to see in there. And right over here is my kitchen," I say brightly, energetically skipping all of three steps over to it. "This is where the magic happens."

I love my kitchen. In fact, the kitchen is the reason I chose this apartment. The oven is simply to die for. I love love love it and it's easy to tell, since it's the only room in the apartment that doesn't look like hell. It was the first thing I set to arranging after I moved in, besides the obvious essentials. I've been gradually shuffling things around all week trying to make sure that everything is in its perfect place and yesterday, I finally felt that its feng shui was perfectly harmonious at last. Like, really, I walk in now and it's like... a breath of fresh air every time.

"So, what do you think?" I turn around and grin at Shadow, who seems taken aback at my asking for his opinion.

He takes the time to glance around the room again, crimson eyes roaming thoughtfully over everything. "Well, it's certainly… you," he says, almost shrugging.

"Huh, and what's that supposed to mean?" I ask, scoffing.

He ignores the question and steps around the box-littered couch to peer through the window. "You have quite the large balcony," he states, craning his neck to see it.

"Oh," I blink. "Yeah! It's nice, isn't it? But I'm not sure what I want to do with it yet though," I admit. "I don't have much in the way of plants, except for this lovely little thing now," I say, shifting the junk on the coffee table onto the floor and carefully placing the yellow flowers down. "And I don't really know what else a balcony is used for. I've never had one before."

"I'm sure you'll figure something out," he says, giving me the smallest of smiles. Then he starts beeping. He sighs and walks past me, towards the door. "Well, I have to leave. Thank you for the 'grand tour'," he smirks.

I almost swat him on the arm. "You're welcome," I say with a roll of my eyes as I see him out of the door. "Thanks for coming by, Shadow. I hope your super-secret mission goes well."

"Of course it will. They always do," he replies, sounding slightly offended. Then his expression softens slightly as he turns to walk down the hall. "Happy birthday, Amy Rose."

"Thanks!" I call after his retreating form. I watch him until he disappears around the corner, smiling. Well, that was a pleasantly unexpected surprise. I'm quite touched he went to the effort of passing by.

I close the door and return to my bedroom, glancing up at the clock as I – What? Oh no, holy cripes, how is it eleven o'clock already? I've only got four hours until everyone starts arriving for my housewarming-slash-birthday party later, there are still boxes everywhere and I'm not even close to being showered or dressed yet. Cream said she'd be over with her mom at twelve to help me get the place ready. Oh jeez, how embarrassing will it be for Cream's mom to see the state of the place after I've been here all week? Why am I not more organized?!

Okay okay, Amy – breathe. Step one, shower; step two, dress; step three, everything else. I've got loads of time and Cream will help me with the rest. Tonight, I am going look great and Sonic is sure to be impressed with how far I've come. And maybe now that I'm sixteen, he'll finally think I'm old enough to…

No no no, you silly girl – stop living your live around him! Now take a deep breath, clear your mind and get a wiggle on. You've got a party to prepare for.

"Yo Amy, happy birthday!" Knuckles yells with a grin as I open the door for him. He's about three hours late, of course, but I'm really happy to see him anyway. He throws a too-tight, one-armed hug around me. Somehow, he manages to hit me in the face with the present in his hand, too, and I can't quite tell whether it's on purpose or by accident, despite the little 'oops – sorry' that he chuckles afterwards.

"Hi Knuckles – ouch – yeah, it's great to see you!" I say, rubbing the side of my face. It's a good thing that whatever gift he's brought for me is soft and squishy.

"Place looks much better than it did when we moved the boxes in," he says, stepping in and looking around. He immediately begins to shuffle his feet to the sounds of Maroon 5 blasting from speakers – speakers that are balanced precariously on top of the pile of boxes in the corner. When Cream and Vanilla came over earlier, they helped me tidy most of what needed tidying, organise what I'd need for the party and then limit the rest of my crap to exactly four boxes – the ones piled in the corner. Now there's loads more room to move about – exactly what I needed for the party.

"Yeah, it's getting there, slowly but surely," I reply, smiling and shrugging. Then I grin cheekily. "So, is that for me?" I ask, looking at the gift in his hand and lifting my eyebrows expectantly.

"Oh – yah, here you go, hope you like it," he shouts over the music, scratching his head. "I tried to get something nice but useful."

I eagerly tear open the wrapping paper, hoping that its isn't –

"Oh – wow! Umm, thanks Knuckles! An apron and some matching over-mitts, just what I need. Aw, and these are really cute, too, you shouldn't have!" I say, torn between groaning and laughing. Wonderful. I'll have to put these in the kitchen now with the other four matching sets I've already been given. Am I really that predictable?

"It ain't nothing – I know you like your baking," he chuckles. "I'm glad you like 'em. So, where's Blue hiding?" he says, scanning my small room with narrowed eyes.

I sigh but try to keep the smile on my face. I've been wondering the same thing myself all evening. "Oh, Sonic? He's… not here yet," I say, waving my hand and forcing nonchalance. Despite my small disappointment in his gift, I find myself clutching it close to my chest; this apron is more comfort to me than Sonic probably ever will be. "You know what he's like, probably distracted by some chilli-dog stand or other."

Despite my attempts at off-handedness, Knuckles sees right through me, I think. He narrows his eyes even more and says, "Idiot. He's missing out on something, tonight."

I roll my eyes. "Knuckles, it's no big deal, really. I'm happy that so many of my friends are here. You guys make me feel really special, you know."

"… If you say so," he grunts. I know I don't have him convinced. But then he smiles kindly. "You look real nice tonight, Amy." I know he's trying to make me feel better, but it only makes me feel worse.

"Thanks. Speaking of which, I need go to the bathroom, check my hair and stuff. I think I can feel a loose pin," I lie quickly, suddenly wanting to get away from him before I do something stupid, like cry. "Mighty and Espio are out on the balcony. They asked after you when they came."

"Oh sweet," Knuckles said, clapping his huge hands together, perfectly distracted. "Is Vector here too? That sly-dog still owes me money…" he mutters, stalking across the room without bothering to wait for an answer. But I shrug in reply anyway and begin stepping around the people in the room.

Tails is on the couch taking apart the TV for its circuitry or spare parts or whatever, and he's good-naturedly joining in with Charmy and Ray as they argue over what song should be played next; the stereo atop the boxes wobbles precariously over them as the remote is snatched to and fro. Rouge is nowhere in sight; she's probably too busy scrutinising my wardrobe, I think, to notice that Knuckles has arrived, which is probably for the best. I step around Big while he's trying to manage the kitchen and almost smile at the sight of Cream as she tries to manage him managing the kitchen. It's only when I reach the bathroom and lock the door behind me that I finally relax; I feel the stiff smile fall off my face and, in the mirror, I watch as my face crumples beyond my control.

Last spring, Cream and I went to Central Park to walk along the bluebell trail when I bumped into Sonic – literally bumped into him. He knocked over the ice-cream I was holding and offered to buy me a new one to make up for it. I chose mint and chocolate chip and that's when I learned what Sonic's favourite colour is – mint green. I asked why and he grinned at me, scratched his nose and said ''cause it's chill and cool, like me'. I laughed and he left to do his thing. But I always remembered what his favourite colour was.

Tonight, I'm wearing my mint green dress. I picked it out especially.

I'm pathetic.

I'm standing here, on the evening of my sixteenth birthday, on the verge of tears over a boy who I'm trying so desperately not to care about, but all I've done is prove to myself how much I do. And the more I think about it, the less I understand why.

If I'm honest with myself, all Sonic's ever done is run away from me. Even when he isn't actively making an escape attempt… he's always just out of reach. I've never been able to keep up with him, and he's never stopped long enough for me to properly try. Sometimes I wonder if he even really knows about the way I feel. He has to know if it's so blindingly obvious to everyone else, I think venomously.

…So it must just be that he doesn't care.

Of course, I know he cares. He's saved my life more times than I can count. That's how we first met – him saving my life all those years ago. It seems so long ago now. But... that's what Sonic does. He saves people. He's a hero. He does good and brave and amazing things. He fights the bad guys and makes it his business to explore every nook and cranny of the land, keeping the peace and making friends along the way. Adventure and travel and the thrill of battle and the taste of freedom, that's what Sonic loves. Not me. Just because he's saved my life doesn't mean I'm anything special to him. If I were, he would have come tonight. He would've made the time. But I'm not special enough.

I think I realize that now.

"Amy…?"

My lip trembles and I don't even turn around at the dainty sound of the knock at the door.

"Amy, is everything alright? You've been in there for a quite a while now."

I take a deep breath to try and steady myself. "I'm fi-fine, Cream." Darn. Didn't work.

Cream is silent for a few seconds before she gently speaks again. "Amy… can you unlock the door, please?"

I close my eyes and feel those traitorous tears escape; they slide down my cheeks, cold and heavy. Knowing that Cream won't go away, I turn around and unlock the door. Then I sit on the side of the bathtub, wrap my arms around myself and stare at the floor. Cream steps quietly into the bathroom and closes the door again, understanding that I don't want to be seen. She takes a tissue and hands it to me, before sitting quietly at my side and rubbing my back. She doesn't say anything as bawl into the tissue like a child.

"I'm still that same stupid, little girl," I hiccough eventually.

"What do you mean?" she asks. Her voice is calm and soothing.

"The one who ran after Sonic the first time he saved me. The one who couldn't keep up with him and tripped up trying. The one who scraped her knee because of it and just sat there crying on the ground afterwards," I say bitterly, wiping my nose and throwing the tissue into the trash. "Look at me, Cree. I haven't changed one bit after all these years."

"Well, that's not a bad thing," Cream said. "You're kind and thoughtful and confident. I wouldn't want you to change, Amy, not ever! In fact, I hope I can be more like you when I'm older."

I roll my eyes miserably. "No you don't. Otherwise you'll just wind up letting your heart run off after someone, getting it hurt and then doing the same thing over and over again, just like me… I'm an idiot."

"No you're not," she said firmly. She gets to her feet and puts her tiny hands on her tiny hips. With that fire in her eyes, she almost looks scary. Almost. "You are not an idiot, Amy Rose. You can't help the way your heart feels."

"Well I wish I could," I say, looking down to the floor again. It begins to swim around as fresh tears swell up in my eyes. I try and blink them away. "Because I'm in love with a guy who's in love with the world, and he doesn't see me and it just hurts so much."

Suddenly I'm bawling again and Cream's arms are around me and I feel like she's the older one in this friendship, the stronger one, the wiser one. "I know," she whispers soothingly. "I'm sorry."

"Me t-too."

I wake up later that night disoriented and confused. My eyes are still sore and my head feels foggy. I sit up in the bed, stretch my arms and rub my eyes.

I had the weirdest dream. I dreamt that I was at Cream's house, but she was as big as the house itself and I was tiny – small enough to fit into a teacup. She blundered noisily and clumsily around the house, trying to find me and almost stepped on me several times. I just wanted to go home. There was a trail of yellow flowers that lead across the floor and up through the window and I knew that they were my way out, but I couldn't find a way up there. Then Cream's Chao, Cheese, floated over to me and I think he offered to fly me up to the window sill but when he started speaking, it was Sonic's voice I heard.

"Psst! Amy!"

I gasp and pull the covers instinctively around me. There it is again, the sound of my name in Sonic's voice, followed by a faint tapping. But I'm awake now, and not dreaming anymore.

"Amy, wake up! Psssst, Amy! Shoot, this is not going to plan. Gonna have to try and find…"

I rocket out of bed, grab the bathrobe, pull it over my pyjamas and practically fly into the lounge which is where I think the sound is coming from. Eyes narrowed suspiciously, I draw up the blinds and –

"Ah, you're awake! Come on out here, Amy!" comes the slightly muffled voice of Sonic's silhouette on my balcony. He's a silhouette not because I am dreaming, but because my entire balcony is bathed in a strange, ethereal glow. Okay, so maybe I am still dreaming. "So err… are you gonna open up the door or what?"

Still dazed, I slowly reach out my hand, turn the key and push aside the door leading onto the balcony. What I see there takes my breath away.

A/N: Hey guys, hope you're having a good weekend! :3

This is the first chapter in a short story that I've been writing to try and get more comfortable with writing in first person. If any of you pop in and out of the Beyblade fandom and happen to know me from there, then you'll know that I NEVER write first person. So this is kind of a big deal for me. I hope you've enjoyed reading it, because I've definitely enjoyed writing it. This chapter's been a little slow but things are going to get juicy, I promise. :p

This is also something I've been working on alongside a much larger project that hopefully you'll be seeing soon. This is a prequel of sorts, I guess, to that story, from Amy's point of view.

Also, yeah, romance. This is me trying to write romance. I'm gonna try and keep angst out of it but hey, this is me we're talking about. Angst is apparently my favourite thing to write. xD

Anyway, see you in two weeks time for the next update. Reviews are always very, very appreciated - I'd love to know your thoughts on the story so far!

~ Indie x