After Carter was sent back to his reality, Joel disappeared for a couple hours, allowing Peter and Wade to do a sweep of the city.

"Hey, Wade?" The two were sitting on a rooftop, eating tacos Wade had acquired as they had passed a Mexican place. Wade looked at him, his mask rolled up to his nose so he could enjoy the food.

"Yeah, Petey?" Bits of taco flew out of his mouth and Peter gave him a cross look. "Sorry." He wiped his mouth.

"I was thinking about Joel and you know how he doesn't really have anyone?" Wade nodded. "Well, you know what you and I have?" Wade nodded again. "I thought maybe we could share that with him. I don't know, how do you feel about it?"

Wade swallowed his bite before speaking again. "Pete, you know I like him, a lot, but it seems like he has way too much baggage for a twenty-one-year-old. I mean, I am totally down for it, but what happens when some other fucked-up part of his past shows up?"

"Then we get him through it." Peter used one hand to take Wade's and beamed. "Just like how he'd help us if we needed it."

Wade and Peter arrived back at Avengers Tower around the same time Joel was coming back and ordered out. The three sat in Joel's room, eating pizza and talking.

"Guys, I, uh, got something for you." Joel pulled a big bag from behind him. "It's kind of a thank you for saving me and being my friends."

"You didn't have to get us anyth—" Peter started to say but Wade elbowed him hard in the side.

Joel smiled, his cheeks tinged with a blush, and pulled out a small box. "Peter, this is for you. It's—"

"Oh my God, he's proposing!" Wade gushed.

"Shut up, Wade!" Joel and Peter spoke at the same time.

"This is a key and it goes to a secret room that contains the biggest motherfucking encyclopedia collection in human existance. We'll go there this weekend."

Peter looked down at the key in the box and back up at the smiling boy. "Wow, Joel, this is—this is amazing. Thank you."

He turned to Wade. "As for you, I actually had to take a very special trip to California just to get this. And for the love of God, Wade, don't spend it all in one night, promise?"

Wade shrugged. "I can't make that promise. I have to know what it is first."

Joel produced another box, this one containing a bright red card. "This, Wade Wilson, is a one million dollar gift card to Taco Bell." Wade stared down at the gift in silence for a few moments before lunging at Joel, planting kisses all over him. "Oh, God, please, Wade, seriously. Please get off of me."

"I love you!" Wade had to pried off of Joel by Peter.

"Hey, Joel?" The brunet sat up and dusted himself off. "Wade and I talked it over and we want to invite you into our—uh—arrangement."

Wade rolled his eyes and took Peter's hand as well as Joel's mechanical one. "Basically, he's saying that we both want to fuck you." Peter reddened but nodded. "And by fuck you, we mean you share in the relationship we have—and literally fuck you."

Joel looked between them as if it were a prank but after a minute, he pulled both of them into a hug. "I would love that."

Peter was the first to pull out of the hug and he leaned back in, kissing Joel's lips gently. Wade, meanwhile, removed his shirt and set to work unbuckling Peter's pants. Once removed, he moved to tug Joel's sweater over his head, but a loud bang filled the room and Wade was thrown against the wall.

"Ow! What the fuck?" Joel pulled his knees up to his chest and turned away.

"Joel?" Peter put a hand on his shoulder, only receiving a whimper in response. "What's wrong?" Joel turned back and shakily pulled his shirt off, revealing a multitude of scars up and down his arms and upper body. Most had faded but the anger behind them was clear. "Oh my God," Peter murmured. "Did you—" Joel nodded.

Wade had climbed onto the bed and wrapped his arms around Joel from behind, a surprised look crossing his features when he wasn't blasted off of him. "No one's gonna hurt you ever again," he promised. "Or I'll kill them." Joel allowed himself to relax in Wade's hold and Peter joined them.

"We don't have to do anything now—" Wade whined but silenced once Peter glared at him.

"I'm sorry," Joel whispered as Peter ran his fingers through his hair soothingly.

"Don't be sorry. You know that both Wade and myself will always protect you, right?" Joel nodded. "Good."

"Spider-Man, do you swear to uphold all that justice is and stands for?" Tony snorted; Steve was making this up as he went. Peter nodded. "As of right now, you are an official Avenger. Congratulations."

"Look at you, Spidey." Deadpool tilted his head in admiration. "I'm banging an Avenger..."

Joel knocked on Wade's head from behind. "Um, hello. You're banging two. My inauguration was this morning, in case you forgot." He was in his own spandex suit.

Wade squealed like a teenage girl. "I'm the luckiest merc I know! Getting a three-way with Spider-Man and—" He snickered a little. "Storm Bane."

"Bite me, Wade."

"With pleasure." Wade leaned toward him but Joel shoved him away.

"Not now, you pervert," he scolded.

Peter put an arm on his shoulder. "Are you comfortable with—" Joel looked uneasy. "You know we don't have to."

"My blue balls disagree," Wade muttered. Both Joel and Peter punched him at the same time. "Hey! Mean," he whined, rubbing his shoulders.

"I need a drink." Joel wandered over to the bar.

"Congrats, kid. We need the webslinging on the team," Tony said, patting Peter on the back. "Wait, is Joel drinking?" Peter nodded. "Shit. This will not end well." From Peter's curious expression, he elaborated. "Every time Joel gets drunk, he becomes more insufferable than ever, if that were even possible."

Ten minutes later, Joel had knocked back several glasses of whatever Bruce could concoct, but he wasn't drunk. At that exact moment, Thor returned with Jane, Darcy, and a keg of Asgardian liquor.

"No!" Steve and Tony ran to stop Joel from filling a glass. "Joel, no. You are not getting any of that. Tony had one shot of it and was out like a light. It's potent enough to take out Thor. There is no way you could even begin to handle it."

"I may consider you my dads, but in the past two weeks, I've been abducted, tortured, gotten my hand cut off, and nearly blown up. Let me live a little," he said, trying to duck around them.

"It's just going to go to waste unless someone mans up and takes a shot," Darcy pointed out, holding out two shot glasses. Joel snatched one and filled it. Everyone watched in fear as he examined the golden liquid closely before tilting his head back and downing it.

"J-Joel?" Steve stepped towards the young man nervously.

Joel licked his lips and looked up at the blond. "It's good. Really good, actually. Darce, another one." He handed her the glass and she shakily got him another.

"What the hell?!" Clint shouted from the foyer.

"How is that possible?"

"He must be stronger than we thought."

"There's no fucking way this is real."

The whispers floated around the room like wildfire. Joel, meanwhile, seemed completely oblivious to the voices, instead focusing on getting more.

"Joel?" Peter reached out towards the smaller man. He looked up, eyes strangely unfocused. "A-are you okay?"

"What? I'm perfectly fine." His eyes seemed to space further apart, making everyone near him step back nervously. "Why do you all look so terrified? Did I suddenly grow another head or something?"

"Y-you're not—" Steve stammered. "How strong is that stuff supposed to be again?" He looked over at Darcy and Jane, both of whom shrugged.

"Shall we adjourn to the bedroom, guys?" Joel offered his hands to Wade and Peter and led them upstairs with everyone watching them. Once the door closed, Joel pulled out a small remote and pressed a red button.

"What was that for?" Wade asked as seemingly nothing happened.

There was a bang on the door. "Joel!" It was Tony. "Stop disabling JARVIS' access to your room!"

"I don't think the AI wants to see a threesome!" Joel called back. Tony was silent for a moment before leaving, saying something about smart-ass tech wizards. "Now where were we?" Joel turned back to—he guess he could call them—his boyfriends, who were both standing in their underwear.

"Oh fuck yes."

A car was idling outside Avengers Tower and in the front seat sat two young, handsome blond men. "He's a fucking superhero? Goddamn it."

"Are you really that surprised? He could do shit that's considered impossible. Like that healing thing. I know his arm wasn't really broken, well, for long anyway; he was keeping up appearances."

"Jake?"

"Yeah, Chris?"

"Let's get that little fucker."

A/N: And that's a wrap. The sequel, currently titled Only He (Has the Power to Move Me), is in production as we speak.