Hello world I deleted my last story, why? Because it got all jacked up because I don't know how technology works haha. This story is meant to be sheer crack and only for laughs so don't expect any sort of seriousness from my imagination. I own nothing so don't sue my broke self!

Lucy and Mavis are switched

Natsu and Zeref are switched

*cue evil laughter*

"Um sir?" the train worker asked nervously as the blue cat rambled on to the black haired man who was lying on the floor.
"Wake up Zeref we have arrived in Hargeon," the blue cat said to the black haired man.
"Is he alright?" The employee asked.
"Aye," the strange talking cat replied," This always happens to him."
The black haired man pushed his face up to reveal dark eyes and sharp features. "Never... I'm never riding a train again," he stammered. He then proceeded to attempt to hold in his vomit.
"If we are correct the Salamander should be in this town," the cat told his partner as he walked off of the train. "Let's go."
"Give me a minute please," the dark haired man stuck his head out of the window as to not get vomit in the car. By the time the blue cat turned around the train had taken off, leaving the dark haired man to weep inwardly at his misfortune.
"It left," the cat stated blatantly.
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In another part of town a girl with long light blonde hair that was tied into pigtails with wing like adornments on either side and bright green eyes who could be no older than 14 was shopping inside of a magic store.
"Oh no. So there's only one magic shop on this entire town?" her light voice bounced around cheerfully even though she was supposed to be upset.
"Yes child, I'm afraid so. You see this is more of a fishing town than a magic town," the salesman said to the girl," Not even a tenth of the people here can use magic."
Her face looked down in disappointment.
"However we do have the latest goods in stock." The old man rummaged through the underside of the counter and pulled out a card with circular orbs on it. "This Colors magic is quite popular with the young ladies." He demonstrated how it worked by turning his shirt purple.
"I already have one," the girl had already turned around," What I'm really looking for are some rare spell books."
"Rare spell books are, well, rare."
The girl shuffled towards the shelf at a glint. Her face became delighted at what she saw. She grabbed the small book and headed to the register. "Fairies? That's not a spell book at all," the man sounded as if he were pleading. "I know but I love fairies. So how much?" She looked up at him with big round glossy eyes.
"Yay," she quietly yelled to herself once she was out of the shop. "I can't believe he gave it to me for free."
The girl tripped and fell to the ground after bumping into two men who were drooling about a woman named Salamander.
"Salamander?" the young girl asked herself," she sounds like an interesting woman. I'll go see what she's like." She hummed to herself as she made her way down to the crowd of young men.
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The black haired man made his way to the crowd of screaming men. He felt a strange twang in his chest. His heart began to beat faster and faster. He had no idea what had come over him. All he could think was, Salamander, as he edged closer to the beautiful indigo haired woman in front of him. "Excuse me," a small voice piped up from behind the beautiful woman. His vision blurred and reality returned. The black haired man saw a young girl with lovely hair and big green eyes. She was wearing a cute blue and white dress with a light pink blazer over it. The strange thing was the light pink wing adornments on either side of her head. Salamander turned to face the girl. "Yes?"
"I like your rings. Can I play you for them?" The young girl's eyes had a darling look to them. It was then that the man realized what was happening. Salamander was using a love charm on all of the men and the girl had noticed it. He had to chuckle to himself, the little girl was very good.
"Excuse me?" Salamander asked the girl in the politest voice she could muster. He knew what would happen if this were to play out.
"There you are!" The black haired man yelled out to the girl. He rushed to her side and grabbed her arm lightly. "We have been looking all over for you." He then turned to Salamander," My friend's little sister wondered off and I promised to help find her." He began to drag her out of the circle when a hand landed on his shoulder. It was Salamander "I'm having a party on my yacht tonight you are both welcome to come," she smiled and snapped her fingers, which created a levitating purple flame that lifted her into the air. "I'm fact, your all invited," she yelled to the crowd.
The dark haired man turned to the little girl who was now pouting while clutching a book very tightly to her extremely flat chest. "Thank you for saving me," he told her trying to lighten the mood.
"It was no problem. I had fun." Her face beamed up at him.
"Will you let me treat you to something? Say, ice cream." The girl nodded her head on approval before humming to herself as she walked.
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"My name is Zeref and this is Happy, it's nice to meet you," the black haired man told the girl after they had sat down with their frozen delicacies.
"My name is Mavis," the girl replied as she took a bite of her cookie dough ice cream.
"So how did you know about the charm?" Zeref questioned Mavis.
"Oh it was simple really," Zeref leaned in closer anticipating an exciting answer. Mavis leaned in to answer. "When she lifted her hand I saw it." They both sat back in their seats.
"What brings you to this town?" Mavis asked.
The blue cat answered for him," We were looking for a Salamander, but that one was just a phony."
"She probably couldn't destroy anything like he real one," Zeref added.
"Aye," the cat interjected.
"So you're looking for a dragon?" Mavis asked with a darling smile on her face.
"Yes, have you seen one?" Zeref asked hurriedly.
"No. But I hear that they know where the fairies are," Mavis smiled so brightly at the word fairies. Zeref merely chuckled at her childish antics.
"Well I guess I'd better be going." Zeref jumped up and headed out of the door with Happy right beside him.
"Thank you for the ice cream. "Mavis waved the pair off.
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Mavis was sitting on a bench in the park when Salamander came and sat down beside her. "So you like fairies?"
"Mh" was the reply Mavis sent as she was deeply enthralled by the story book she had just purchased.
"That was very clever of you, figuring out my charm spell," Salamander cooed.
"You know that's not very nice," Mavis looked up from her page.
"How about you stay quiet about the charm and I'll help you find the fairies."
"Really!?" Mavis' eyes lit up.
"Of course." Salamander winked at Mavis. "You should come to the party tonight there might be some fairies there. You just never know."
"Ok." Mavis waved goodbye to Salamander as she left on the traveling flames.
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"Isn't that the boat Salamander is on?" Happy asked Zeref.
"Yes," he stuttered as memories of motion sickness returned to him.
"Now don't feel nauseous just from the thought of it," Happy waved down a paw at Zeref.
Just then two men approached the spot the cat and boy were at. "Look it's that babe Salamander's boat," one man said.
"The one from Fairy Tail?" The other one asked.
"Yeah," was the reply.
"Fairy Tail huh?" Zeref now stared intently at the boat.
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"Would you like some lemonade?" Salamander asked Mavis.
"That would be lovely, thank you."
Salamander poured a wine glass full lemonade and gently pushed it towards Mavis. Salamander then snapped her fingers which caused beads of the beverage to lift into the air. "Won't it be fun drinking from the air?" Salamander asked cheerfully.
"Yes, it would be," Mavis smiled back warmly. The young girl's eyes darkened suddenly. "It would be fun," Mavis stood up and pushed the beads away with her hand," If you hadn't drugged them with a sleeping charm."
Salamander stood up with Mavis.
"Believe me I want to find the fairies, but I refuse to be put up in the slave trade."
Salamander's eyes widened. "Yes I know. Based off of the wind and water current and the direction of the boat, we are headed to Bosco, which is known for its massive slave market."
"Wow, I am impressed," Salamander," Such a small child figured out my land in such a short time." The curtains opened to reveal a gang of burley girls tying up the men that were on board. "You will behave yourself until we reach our destination girly," Salamander adorned a menacing manner. The roof collapsed revealing Zeref and Happy. Happy had grown wings and was flying Zeref onto the boat's floor. "Oh Happy when did you get wings?" Zeref fell to the floor and began to gag. "Well, I guess he couldn't handle it after all," Happy shrugged. "And Mavis what are you doing here?"
"Making sure that Borna doesn't succeed."
"Wait! You knew the entire time! And how do you know my name?!" Salamander, actually Borna, squealed.
"Of course I did. You're not very good at hiding things you know." The entire crew stood dumbfounded at the young girl's revelation.
"Happy, get Mavis out of here," Zeref chocked. Happy reached down to grab Mavis, but she side stepped him. "I think I'll handle this on my own," she winked.
A strange wind picked up around her tiny frame. "Creature of the deep I summon thee. Kraken aid me now!" A rumbling could be heard from the depths of the sea. A huge monster appeared out of nowhere. It emerged from behind the ship. "You'd better run before it catches you," Mavis looked up with an evil expression.
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The ship made it back to the port in no time. The Kraken left to slumber in the depths of the ocean. Zeref stood up completely revived. "So you're from Fairy Tail?" he and Borna.
"I thought we already established that I am a liar," Borna sneered.
"Then why have you been using Fairy Tail's name to do your biding!" Zeref threw off his jacket revealing a black mark on his right shoulder.
"Borna I think I know this guy," one of the phony's helpers spoke up.
"Jet black hair, scarf of scales, intent of mountains. I think this guy is Zeref the Black Dragon." Zeref smirked upon the girls from the top of the crashed deck. Borna jumped to him using a blast of fire magic. Mavis gave a knowing grin. "He's a dragon slayer isn't he?" she asked Happy.
"Aye."
"What element?"
"We don't know." Mavis turned to stare at Happy.
"He eats the force from an attack and that is about all we know."
"That is still impressive."
"Aye."
Zeref jumped into the air and took in a deep breath. "Black Dragon Roar!" He yelled before bellowing out a stream of black light. Borna and all of her worker bees were scattered and the floor completely wiped out from that one attack.
"Wow he's amazing," Mavis beamed at her friend.
Footsteps could be heard running towards us.
"Oh no looks like they found us," Zeref grabbed Mavis' arm and dragged her along the exit of Hargeon. He suddenly stopped and turned to face Mavis. "I am very sorry for dragging you into this. You should return home."
"No home to return to. Besides I wanna go on an adventure," she looked up and smiled at him.
"Then come join our guild. We could use a great illusion wizard like you," Zeref returned her with a soft smile as they ran, hand in hand, to Fairy Tail.
Little did they know, something far greater was coming along with the shadow that had been watching them.
FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT
"It's been a while, Natsu," a long blonde haired woman approached a man with spiky pink hair, who appeared to be meditating.
"I can't see you, Lucy, but I can tell you've gained weight," the man with pink hair didn't even flutter an eyelash as he spoke. The man with pink hair, Natsu, was sent flying into a nearby tree by the force of the blonde haired lady's, Lucy's, kick. "IM A GHOST YOU IDIOT!" she screamed at him.
"And.." he stood up and scratched his head.
"I saw the two, as I'm sure you did. The fated meeting between light and dark has occurred," Lucy walked behind him.
"Huh?" Natsu turned confused.
He was sent flying into the tree, again. "ZEREF AND MAVIS MET EACH OTHER AND HE TOOK HER TO JOIN THE GUILD!" Lucy screeched. Natsu must truly be an idiot. "Oh yeah I forgot that you were watching them," he smiled sheepishly.
"I am going to pass on the crown soon. I think that I have finally found someone worthy," Lucy looked up at the sky.
"I have no idea what you mean you weirdo," Natsu turned back to his meditating.
"IM GOING TO GIVE MAVIS MY KEYES! HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE! WE PLANNED THIS TOGETHER!" Lucy could feel a strong headache coming on.
"Are you going to give her that key to?" Natsu seemed interested now.
"Of course I am," Lucy snorted. Her face took on a serious look," The question now is, will they free us?"
The two were silent.

"Hey Luce, can I sleep in your bed tonight?"
Once more, Natsu went flying into a tree.