Intervention

XANDER: Buffy, we need to talk.

BUFFY: *eyes wide* What's wrong? Is Dawn okay?

WILLOW: Dawn's fine.

XANDER: Buffy, we care about you, and we're worried about you. The way you're acting, the things you're doing-

ANYA: It's wrong.

WILLOW: Wait. This shouldn't be about blame.

BUFFY: Blame? There's blame now?

WILLOW: No, there's only love. And... some fear.

ANYA: Which is kind of thrown by the you having sex with Spike.

BUFFY: The who whating how with huh?

ANYA: Okay, that's denial. That usually comes before anger.

BUFFY (angrily): This is how to talk to me about having sex with Spike?

ANYA: Anger.

XANDER: No one is judging you.

BUFFY: But-

XANDER: It's understandable.

BUFFY: Wait!

XANDER: Spike is strong and mysterious and sort of compact, but well-muscled.

BUFFY: Will you just stop for a second?!

XANDER: Buffy, I saw you. Anya too.

ANYA: *much nodding*

BUFFY: Stop, okay? I admit it.

XANDER: We saw you and Spike...

BUFFY: *sighing* Yeah, I get it.

XANDER: *gestures vaguely* …with the straddling.

BUFFY: Gah, I get it already! I concede!

ANYA: Don't try and deny it, missy! *waggles finger*

WILLOW: Wait, guys, I think she's-

BUFFY: Oh, my god! Guys, I said I admit it.

XANDER: No, no. You can't get out of it that easily.

BUFFY: I ADMIT IT!

XANDER: I know this isn't easy, Buffy, but-

WILLOW: Xander…

XANDER: No, she needs to know we're here, and that we'll listen.

BUFFY: *throws up her hands and stomps out of the room*

XANDER (to Willow): Why can she never just be honest with us?

BUFFY: *comes back with a megaphone* I'M SLEEPING WITH SPIKE!

ANYA: …

XANDER: …

ANYA (to Xander): …she's probably going to want to go rescue him, then. Don't you think?

BUFFY: *clutching forehead* He's in danger? AGAIN? *shakes head* I swear that vamp needs saved more often than a video game princess! *grabs coat* Let's go.