Mutually Assured Destruction

Summary: "It's fascinating, isn't it? Human nature. Take something off the table and suddenly, no matter what it is, it becomes irresistible." / In which Chloe's reluctant to take a partner, and Lucifer's reluctant to let her off the hook. Post-1x01. One shot.

Disclaimer: I don't own Lucifer, Chloe, or anything pertaining to the show.

A/N: This takes place sometime during the hypothetical events of 1x02. From the promo, it looks like they're becoming "partners" more or less officially, so I'm just going off of that assumption and inventing my own scenario. And with that… Let's kick start this fandom, shall we?

Chloe was only on her second drink of the night when he snuck up from behind, his languid voice carrying well in the half-dead bar scene.

"There's my favorite invalid. Drowning our sorrows after day one of desk duty, are we?"

The abrupt twinge of discomfort had nothing to do with her recent gunshot wound.

When Lucifer crossed into her field of vision, she didn't look over; didn't even bother asking how she'd been found. Though she had deliberately aimed far from Lux, the nightclub he owned, the dive she currently found herself in was only a short ride from the station. As a trained professional, she really should have covered her tracks better.

Idly she traced the rim of her glass. "And now I'm drinking for an entirely different reason."

"Color me flattered, detective."

She rolled her eyes. "Masochist."

"Well, now you're just sucking up." He claimed the stool next to her, making what he said next entirely moot. "Mind if I join?"

"Would it matter if I did?"

"Ouch. Someone's in a charming mood." He didn't sound offended, though; if anything, he remained maddeningly unruffled. "Might I suggest upping your dosage of painkillers? Or another shot of whiskey? Or better yet, how about one for your knight in sinful armor?"

Chloe rolled her eyes again, irritation giving way to grudging amusement, and wordlessly she summoned the bartender.

"You know, I find myself appreciating the symmetry of this moment," Lucifer observed after vanishing his first drink. He signaled for another. "Last time we bonded over spirits, you confided to me your deepest passion. Your unwavering devotion to help others. Must be quite difficult for you now, isn't it? All those desires, and here you sit. Waiting. Impotent. Metaphorically speaking, I mean." She finally looked over, and dark eyes glittered in an otherwise innocent visage. "I could help, you know."

Mouth curving, Chloe redirected the conversation. "I see therapy's agreeing with you."

"Very much, yes."

"And you see nothing questionable about that whole scenario?" she probed further.

"Are you referring to the fact that I traded sex for information and free sessions?" Her astonishment at his unabashed admission was absolute. "On the contrary. I find the arrangement to be one of the healthiest, most honest relationships I've had in ages."

That part she has no trouble believing.

"Point of proof? She provided me with some keen insights on you—"

"So you've said." Her tone was curt. Final.

"—and your rather frustrating attempts to keep me at arm's length. It's starting to give me a complex." He played at sounding hurt but looked as entertained as ever. "Dodging my calls. Avoiding my nightclub. Refusing to work together—your fear of repeating a vicious cycle of abandonment, she says. Which, now that I think about it, would suggest that you actually enjoy my company more than you let on."

The burn of whiskey down her throat was a welcome reprieve following that kind of bald statement. "Even though you're not actually paying this woman, it sounds like you're still not getting your money's worth."

A finger wagged in her face, making her feel like a suspect under interrogation. "See? That right there. Arm's length." Redirecting the gesture, Lucifer ordered another round. Chloe accepted the peace offering gladly, still wary. "Come on, darling. Soon as you're cleared, you'll need a partner to keep working in the field, and I… well…"

"You're bored?" she finished.

Lucifer seemed thoroughly unfazed by her utter and persistent lack of cooperation. "You have to admit we make a good team. Good cop, bad… what, consultant? Liaison? Okay, the catchphrase needs work. Point is, it'll be a fun time."

To her surprise, Chloe found herself giving his proposal careful consideration while she nursed her drink in silence. Despite the flippancy and dramatic flourishes, he was making a good point. A partnership would be mutually beneficial. And she was short on alternatives. "I can admit that I'm grateful for your help and for saving my life," she said slowly, but that was as far as her reticence lasted.

Abruptly she swiveled her barstool to face him head on, unsure whether it was the alcohol fueling what came next or something else. "Why don't you admit what this is really about, Lucifer? Why you're looking to extend our partnership even though Delilah's case is closed? Why Dr. Martin suggested you were deeply disturbed by my lack of, as you put it, 'carnal fascination'? Why you can't let it go? We are not sleeping together," she cut to the chase, "despite the heroics, despite this… rakish charm you wield like a weapon. Just so we're clear."

"Ah, methinks the lady doth protest too much," Lucifer parried the blow without blinking. "I get it, though. Why you feel the need to draw lines in the sand—at least, I think that's how the good doctor phrased it. Anyhow, you needn't worry about that. No, it's your impenetrable mind that fascinates me. And see? Progress. I believe that's the first time I've ever said that to a woman… and truly meant it, that is."

Shocking.

Except that it actually was.

In spite of a number of hurdles, both personal and professional, he was fighting for her. Not giving up. Not letting her, either.

I won't let you.

Chloe narrowed her eyes at him. "You're that curious, huh?"

"Intensely," was the frank reply. "And I have no wish to muddy my research with what I'm sure would be an… enchanting evening."

"Enchanting?" she repeated, wryly. "Not sure if you're flattering my ego or yours."

"Why not both? I'm quite adept at multi-tasking."

"I've noticed." Taking a deep breath, Chloe came to a sudden decision—one that she would later blame entirely on the booze. "Sure you have time to play cops and robbers when you're simultaneously ruling the underworld?"

A grin split her companion's face, too bright not to be troubling. "Still doubtful about the whole 'king of hell' concept, I see. We'll have to work on that. In the meantime…" A glass rose along with his voice. "Cheers. To a long, beautiful, and fruitful partnership."

"To a necessary evil," she toasted, a smile tugging at her mouth.

"Flattery will get you everywhere, partner." In a much lower voice, Lucifer mused, "It's fascinating, isn't it? Human nature. Take something off the table and suddenly, no matter what it is, it becomes irresistible."

What Chloe found irresistible, in fact, was the temptation to challenge the notion. "And that's strictly a human flaw, Mr. Immortal?"

"Oh yes." The answer came without hesitation, but if it weren't for her stringent training as a detective, she might have missed the subtle shift in the way Lucifer was looking at her, which didn't quite line up with the ease of his candor. His eyes were sharper, determined, as though trying to obtain something in a manner he was long out of practice using. "As sure as the devil's fall from grace," he confided at length.

Chloe wasn't sure what he intended, but she was pretty sure it was the most honest thing she'd ever gotten from him.

This time she was the one raising a glass. "To mutually assured destruction, then."

"My dear Chloe," came the drawl that was fast becoming as familiar as it was vexing. Leaning forward, Lucifer clinked his glass against hers, smiling all the while like they were the best of friends. Like she had just made a deal with the devil. "Have I mentioned how I love the way your odd little mind works?"

FIN

A/N: I might have just found my newest TV obsession…. Here's hoping we're in for a good, long haul ;)