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Part one

It's early morning when they get back to the bunker. Neither of them has spoken a word to each other and honestly, Dean's glad. He doesn't know what they could say to each other to make it okay. There's too much shit to bring up from these past years, he doesn't even know where they would start.

So when they get home, Sam leaps out of the car and says he's going to be taking a nap and to not disturb him unless it's an emergency.

Dean nods and takes his time getting out of the car. When he gets inside, he goes to take a shower and then changes into his sweats. Then, for the remainder of the evening, he lounges on his bed, listening to music and trying not to think about the craziest day he's had so far, which coincidentally happened to be today.

A few days pass and no word from Cas makes Dean worry a bit. He's thinking of calling the angel when Sam barges in the kitchen and announces that he's found a case. They do some research and when they figure out what they're dealing with, Sam decides that he'll go alone. Dean tries to protest but deep inside, he knows that it would be good for them to spend some time apart. So Dean makes Sam promise to call him if he needs backup.

Once Sam's gone, Dean thinks of calling Cas but there's no need because just as he turns to go to his room to get his cell, Cas appears out of thin air.

"Jesus, I thought we've agreed that you wouldn't do that." Dean rubs his face, "You almost gave me a heart attack."

"Apologies, Dean." Cas smiled. And okay, normally Cas is a weird awkward guy as Dean has so blatantly pointed out before but the way he just smiled and said, "apologies", it's, well, it's kind of giving Dean all kinds of creepy vibes. But he pushes the thought back, it's probably nothing.

Cas fills him on the darkness and Ambriel and what happened after he found Dean on the side of road. And then, he keeps talking but then he gets all up in Dean's personal space as he often does and he places his hand on Dean's shoulder and says, "This could be a good thing."

And truth be told, Dean had spaced out a bit before when Cas had been talking. But at that moment, Dean is on alert right away because he knows; he knows but is afraid to speak it out aloud. Because if he speaks it out loud, then it will be true. And Dean doesn't want it to be true. But unfortunately it is because he knows that this, whoever this is is not Cas. It's someone else. Yes, Cas is an awkward weird little guy who talks a bit funny, gets up all in Dean's personal space and almost always ignores social convention. But the smile on his face is too cocky, not gentle, as it is usually is and his talk is too confident, not soft and warm as it often is and most importantly, his hand is on Dean's right shoulder, which he's never placed it on. And that's what makes Dean sure that this, whoever it is is definitely not Cas.

As Dean smiles and cracks a joke pretending to still believe it's Cas who's talking to him, he promises himself he's going to do everything in his power to get Cas, his Cas back.

Part two

It takes them a while but eventually they manage to get Cas back. They beat the darkness, get Cas out of hell and shut the cage and lock Lucifer away for what Dean hopes is the last and final time.

As they drive back home, Dean tries to start a conversation but Sam's snoring and Cas does nothing but silently stare out the window. Dean wishes he could know what he's thinking but knows that he should give Cas a bit of space for now.

A few days pass and there's still nothing but silence between them. One afternoon, Dean passes Cas's room and sees from the slightly closed door that Cas sitting with a laptop on his lap and staring intensely at something he's probably been watching on Netflix. That's when Dean's decided that he's had enough silence.

Dean barges in the room, not bothering to pretend to knock (he thinks he has the right what with all the shit that had gone down with Cas recently) and says, "I think we should talk."

Cas takes his earphones out, looks up and gives Dean a confused look. "About what?"

"About what? Hmm, I don't know, how about the fact that you said yes to being a vessel for Lucifer." Dean suddenly exclaims. "I mean Christ, you said yes to the devil, to the devil!"

Cas closes the laptop and puts it to the side. "Thank you Dean for reminding me who I said yes to." Cas retorts as he crosses his arms, all the while glaring at Dean. Then, he adds, "How the fuck could I say no? It was the inevitable."

"The inevitable?" Dean yells. "Are you shitting me? Saying yes to the devil to be his fucking lapdog is inevitable?"

"Yes, it was inevitable. I knew that we didn't have any other choice with defeating the darkness." Cas averts his gaze. "Plus, it didn't matter if I survived or not."

"It didn't matter if you survived or not?" Dean clenched his fists, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No, I am not. Why are you so angry?" Cas says, squinting his eyes and tilting his head at sighed. Seriously, he was going to have to explain this? "Do you really think it wouldn't have mattered if you died?"

"My life matters that much to you? Why?"

"Because I love you, you fucking idiot." Dean yelled. Then he widened his eyes, obviously surprised by his own confession.

Cas opened his mouth to say something but didn't get a chance to say anything in response because Dean held up his hand, "Just forget what I said. Go back to watching your show." Then, he turned around and left.

Later, the three of them are having dinner. They're having a nice time (well as nice as you can get with them), just eating and barely talking, save for asking to pass something to one another.

No one mentions anything about demons or angels or hell and Sam doesn't bring any information on possible hunts and for once, Dean thinks that as dinners goes with them and their lives, this one isn't so bad after all.

But then, Sam the Sasquatch that he is decides to ruin it all by saying, "So what did you guys do today?"

"Nothing- "

"Your brother told me he loves me." Obviously, Cas has no tact. And what did Dean expect, really? He knew it was going to come up one or another way.

Dean glares at Cas for what he just revealed but Cas doesn't seem to understand (or maybe he's pretending to not understand, who knows) as he looks completely unfazed and keeps staring back at Dean in that weird way of his, like he's asking Dean a question but at the same time telling him an answer. Usually Dean thinks it's kind of adorable but right now, he's pretty mad at Cas and he can't keep sitting here anymore so he gets up and storms out of the kitchen, leaving a full plate of food behind.

At that moment, Sam, ever the observant one says, "Really that's great, didn't think he had it in him" as he digs into his food. But then as he twirls his fork around his spaghetti and he looks up, he sees that both Dean and Cas are gone and only their plates remain. He panics for a few seconds, thinking that they might've disappeared into thin air (you never know, what with the lives they lead). But then he hears their voices coming back from the back porch, shrugs and goes back to eating.

He thinks it'll be good for them, his brother and Cas definitely need to talk stuff out. Also this way, he can text Eileen without Dean making fun of him and there's more food for him.

Part three

It takes Dean less than a minute to realize that he is not alone on the porch when he hears footsteps approaching.

Turning toward the door, he says, "I know you're still adapting but when humans throw a scene like I just did, it means they want to be left alone."

"You didn't throw a scene." Leave it to Cas to pick up on that part.

Dean resists the urge to roll his eyes. "Why are you here?"

Cas gives him a pointed look. "I think we should talk."

"About what?" Dean repeats Cas's earlier words.

"Well you're the one who wanted to talk, Dean, if I remember correctly."

"Yeah, well I changed my mind." He got up from the chair he was sitting in and walked toward the railing, placing his hands onto it. He looked up at the sky and noticed that it was pretty clear and was full of stars.

"It's beautiful." Cas said as he too looked up at the sky. He had come closer and was now standing near Dean.

Dean huffed a laugh out, "Let me guess, it's beautiful just like I am."

Cas tore his gaze away from the sky and turned so that he was directly looking into Dean's eyes. "I wouldn't say it's as beautiful as you. Nothing can beat your beauty, Dean Winchester."

Dean shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. "Don't, Cas- just don't-" Dean averted his gaze from Cas and back to the sky.

"Dean, both your soul and body are beautiful." Cas gently took Dean's face into his hands, forcing Dean to turn toward him. "I wouldn't lie about that, Dean. You are beautiful, inside and out."

Dean snorted. "You sure know how to make a guy feel special."

"I'm serious Dean. You are beautiful and I love you."

"What?"

"I said I love you, I've wanted to tell you for so long but I never got the chance and then it was too late and I wish had told you but Dean, I loved you before and I still love you and I was going to tell you this today but then you ran out of the room and I wish you- " Cas didn't get to finish because suddenly Dean's lips were upon his. And suddenly they were kissing and it felt right, like everything might would be okay for once. And Dean thinks that a first kiss shouldn't be so smooth and nice and easy. It should be awkward and messy. But it isn't. And it's probably because they already know each other so well and honestly, he couldn't care less because for once, he's allowing himself something that he's wanted for a pretty long time so he pushes all of his thoughts to the back of his mind and keeps kissing Cas.

"That was awesome."

Cas quirks an eyebrow. "Really?"

Dean punches Cas lightly in the arm, "Shut up, you assbut." They share a smile. Then Dean says, "Let's do that again."

"I thought you wanted to talk."

"Ugh, forget talking." Dean says, kissing along Cas's jaw and trying to bring him closer.

"Dean."

"Fine, we can talk but then we're going to be kissing and doing much, much more." Dean winks and swears he sees Cas's ears redden. He considers that a win; he had made a former angel blush.

Later, after they're done with talking things through and listening to each other's sides on everything (starting with the leviathans), Dean's sitting on Cas's lap playing with the ends of his hair when he realizes that the two of them have been through a lot and most likely there will be more to come. But nothing has to change. They'll still be hunting and helping each other in a fight. Just now, they'll be able to kiss each other after winning a fight or after solving a case, both as a celebratory notion and also because he can't wait to gross Sam out. So he smiles and says, "Hey you want to show me the shows you've been watching recently?"

Cas smiles up at him gently. "Sure, Dean, I'd love to."

THE END